This is me about to perform on stage at one
of London's most respected comedy nights... Alongside some of the most
famous comedians in the country, but all my jokes have been
written by seven-year-olds. [LAUGHTER] And it's safe to say, it was a tough gig. But why am I putting myself through this? Well, a couple of years ago, I toured my
first ever stand-up show around the country. MAX: Hello, London Palladium! MAX VOICEOVER: This year, I'm going back on tour,
and I'm feeling a bit nervous about it. So I reached out to brilliant stand-up comic and good friend
Iain Stirling to help me get over my nerves. Little did I know that what
Iain had in store for me, was going to be one of the most
terrifying nights of my life. [DRAMATIC THUD] I'm getting back on stage after
two years and I'm worried about it, so I've come to the house of comic
legend, voice of Love Island... IAIN: The Islanders are
comparing themselves to animals. MAX V/O: And all-round funny man, Iain Stirling. You leave tomorrow, don't you? Yeah, I start the show tomorrow, yeah. Where can people get tickets? Oh! www.ia- MAX V/O: Iain could see I was bricking it, so he tried to ease my nerves,
with some horror stories of his own. And he goes to introduce me,
but he forgets my name. So he just goes, 'welcome to the stage, a boy'. [MAX LAUGHS] They start chanting, '[POP] The Boy!' [MAX LAUGHS] '[POP] The Boy!' And you know it can't get any worse than this. That gets rid of your fear instantly. MAX V/O: Getting rid of my fear,
now that sounds like something I could do with. I suppose there would be like a shocker where you just do something that's like
an absolutely terrible idea on stage, then, a normal gig would seem, like, easy, right? MAX: Would you be able to do that for me? I've got- I've got something in mind. [THEY LAUGH] Just, do as I say and you'll never worry about
doing stand-up comedy again in your entire life. MAX V/O: Thanks, Iain, although I
wasn't thanking him a few days later... Iain's got me a gig, in a couple of days
and he's sent me an address. Where he said... He said I was going to get some help from some writers, which,
I didn't know that's what were doing, but I mean, we can- we can do that nonetheless... But there is a distinct reason why I'm
not showing you where the address is... Because the address is a school. This required some serious explanation. [DIAL TONE] Mr StIrling, why am I outside a school? No, kids are funny to other kids! So these are my writers? I mean, I did ask him: 'get me a difficult gig'. Right, let's lead a writers' room with children. MAX V/O: I guess Iain was right and so I decided
to make the most of this situation, and hey, if I can perform stand-up comedy with material
written by seven-year-olds, anything's possible. So I decided to welcome my new
collaborators into the writing room. Nice to meet you. Fantastic, come on in. MAX V/O: And we had just one
hour to come up with comedy gold. How are we all doing tonight, London? PUPILS: Good. MAX: Good! My name is Max, and in a week's time, I'm going to be performing stand-up comedy, in a big comedy club in London. I am going to need your help today, to come up with,
the funniest things that we can think of. MAX V/O: To start with, I thought I'd
establish a comedy baseline for the group, and ask them, for their favourite jokes. Plagiarism is a big thing in the comedy industry,
so just make 100% sure these are your jokes. These are your jokes? PUPIL: Yes. MAX: Yes, OK, fantastic. What's the joke? What do you call a tooth
that's covered in sugar? I'm not sure, hit me with the punchline? A sweet tooth. Good! MAX: Who's there? MAX: Boo who? [MAX LAUGHS] For me, it was the delivery there. A Hindu joke. OK. I'm not sure I could be making those kinds of jokes. MAX V/O: I could see some potential with this gang,
so I thought we'd start, with the opening joke of the set. In a comedy set, it's all about
making a good first impression, so, what are the first things
that you think when you see me? GIRL: You have a smelly jumper! MAX: I've got smelly jumper! MAX: Classy guys. Do you dress yourself? [MAX LAUGHS] So, rich. Daddy will be very happy. BOY: You've got green shoes. I've got green shoes. MAX: It probably would only work
if I was wearing the green shoes on the night. Uh... famous? Famous. [MAX LAUGHS] Amongst a very small population
in the home counties! MAX V/O: With first impressions out of the way, it was time to get their opinion
on some classic comedy subjects. What's your opinion... on this? This is airline food. Did you fly to school with Quantas? MAX: What's our opinions on this gentleman? Boris Johnson. He looks very funny and smart. 50% right. MAX V/O: We were getting some OK stuff from
our comedy subjects. Maybe I was being too restrictive
with the parameters of the comedy, and so I just thought I'd open the floodgates,
get some blue sky thinking going, and see what they found funny. What makes you laugh? When my dad tickles me in my armpit in my bed. Dad, armpit, bed. Fantastic. I don't know. [MAX LAUGHS] Yes! Love that! MAX: Play schools? Right... Who's there? Mikey who? [LAUGHS] That is really funny! Bursting with comedy chops in here! MAX V/O: We were getting into the groove
and I'd unlocked the kids funny bones. After a few more gags I had enough for a set. I put it together, did a bit of rehearsing... Who do you call if lemon gets hurt? Lemon-aid. MAX V/O: And before I knew it, the night of the performance
had arrived, and I was bricking it. The comedy club is around the corner. This is probably the most uncomfortable I've ever been. It's just such a comedy crowd. I feel so sick. [LAUGHS AWKWARDLY] MAX V/O: Iain had got me a spot at Always Be Comedy,
one of London's most prestigious comedy nights. A place that's known for hosting
some of the most famous comics in the UK. I was of course absolutely terrified... Across the road is- is a date with destiny. But this gig is also known for having
the friendliest crowds in London. So if my seven-year-olds' jokes
would go down well anywhere, it would be here. [MAX LAUGHS] MAX V/O: Iain had just dropped a bombshell. One of my all-time comedy heroes Josh Widdecombe
would be performing a set, directly before mine, and so now this gig was not only
going to be incredibly embarrassing, but also had the potential to destroy
my comedy reputation forever. I'm just really pissed off at Iain. Some of the best comedians in the
country are also on the same bill. I'm about to go on stage and go, 'did you hear about the dog who jumped
into the water, he was a hot dog'. I tried best to calm my nerves,
but showtime had arrived. JAMES: The comedy is going to start
in less than a minute. Are you ready? [CHEERS] MAX V/O: And there was no getting out of it now. As I paced backstage, the show started. KYRAH: How you guys doing, are you good? AUDIENCE: Yeah! MAX V/O: It was a classic Always Be Comedy night. Great jokes, and a great audience, all enjoying themselves. Someone who wasn't enjoying themselves, was me backstage. I was just trying to cram in
my final bits of preparation. MAX V/O: But I had to remember,
that I was doing this for a reason... JOSH: Hello! MAX V/O: This would make me, a better comedian. JAMES: Alright, here we go, let's do this. Are we ready? [CHEERS] It's Max Fosh! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ECHOING: You have a smelly jumper! MAX: I've got a smelly jumper! I know what you're thinking: smelly jumper. [BRIEF LAUGHTER] Hello, my name is Max Fosh,
for those you don't know me... ECHOING: You used to be the
richest person in the world. I'm rich. ECHOING: Famous? I'm famous. ECHOING: You've got green shoes. And I've got green shoes. [SILENCE FROM AUDIENCE] ECHOING: A watermelon. [MAX LAUGHS] What do you call a melon that jumps in the water? A watermelon. MAX V/O: With the opening jokes not hitting quite like they did
in the classroom, it was time to get political. Boris Johnson! He's got the hair, he's always so grumpy, he's got a big blazer. What a businessman. MAX V/O: Hm, it seems that the kids' political observations weren't as astute as I first thought, so time to bring out, the big guns. Who do you call, uh, when a lemon gets hurt? Lemon-aid. [SILENCE FROM AUDIENCE] MAX V/O: Nope. No love for prop comedy either. Let's hope that Winnie's knock knock joke
cracks the audience up as much as it did me. Knock knock. AUDIENCE: Who's there? Mikey. [FEMALE CAMERA OPERATOR LAUGHS] Help me I'm stuck in a hole. [SILENCE FROM AUDIENCE] MAX V/O: How about Alexia's? MAX: Knock knock. MALE AUDIENCE MEMBER: Who's there? MAX: Knock knock. MALE AUDIENCE MEMBER: Who's there? MAX: Knock knock. MALE AUDIENCE MEMBER: Knock knock. MAX: Knock knock. [LAUGHTER] MAX: Let me in already! [SILENCE FROM AUDIENCE] ECHOING: Dad, armpit, bed, fantastic. OK so this next bit, sir, you've got to imagine
that you're at home in bed tucked up, and I'm your dad. MAX V/O: Now at this moment, as I reached forward to tickle
an audience member in front of my comedy heroes because a seven-year-old told me it was funny, it's extremely difficult to express,
just how embarrassing this experience was for me. You guys have been amazing. MAX V/O: I hadn't. But I think I'd inflicted enough pain on these lovely lovely people for one evening, so I thought I'd wrap it up. One last story. I was in the playground with my friend Ava. Kept on saying, 'play schools, play schools...' [CHANTING] Play schools, play schools. [AUDIENCE JOINS IN]
MAX: Play schools. Clap your hands together. Play schools, play schools,
play schools, play schools. Thank you very much, I've been Max Fosh!
Thank you very much, appreciate it! Cheers. MAX V/O: I'd done it. I'd done the most embarrassing gig
I'd ever have to do in my life, and I'd survived. All that was left to do was for Iain
to give the audience what they'd actually come for... JAMES: It's Iain Stirling! [APPLAUSE] MAX V/O: Funny jokes. [LAUGHTER] MAX V/O: But after his set, I was able
to confront the man behind it all. [IAIN AND MAX LAUGH] [IAIN LAUGHS] [MAX AND IAIN LAUGH]
