I am afraid to speak English - ACTION PLAN

i am afraid to speak english people will laugh at me what if i start a conversation with a native speaker and i suddenly forget words what if i just can't support a conversation like i won't be able to use my english i have so many fears what should i do hey guys welcome to lingo marina today we're going to talk about those questions that arise in your head whenever you are confronted with a situation to speak to a native speaker in english i just want to say like first of all i i'm pretty sure you've heard that many times that it's just all in your head but i know we need to kind of dig deeper and talk about your fears because i had those fears like even now when i speak german because i'm a perfectionist um i get very nervous because i know i make mistakes and i know i forget words and i know everything like this happens and my face turns red and i just you know and and it actually starts happening like when i'm relaxed my german is a lot better like if i'm in an environment just talking to friends or just talking to someone at a store it would be like really smooth language when i start thinking like oh my god like this is one of the reasons i stopped recording videos about german just because it's it's been declining and i have those fears but i also have them in english but with english i understood that english is a tool it's an instrument that i use to improve my life and without it you know i won't be able to achieve my new goals i won't be able to get to new levels of whatever youtube of my company's development so today i'm gonna start with fear number one people are gonna laugh at me the only time i've been laughed at uh in terms of my english is when uh like left in real life like i get mocked about my accent a lot on social media but it happens because i get hundreds of thousands of views and i understand that even kittens get dislikes on youtube and there will be people who are unhappy with whatever i'm doing and just because i'm doing it they will be posting bad comments and hating me for whatever i do but i also understand sometimes it's actually good to have that feedback because people tell me oh marina that was wrong that phrase wasn't correct but they're not laughing at me they're telling me how to improve and i accept that with gratitude so the only time i've been laughed at actually happened uh when i was talking to my friend and uh i i told him i was so hooked up with this person like i wanted to say that we're really connected with a person but i used a phrasal verb to hook up with someone and it actually means have a sexual relationship and this not what it was not what i meant and another time it happened recently on instagram i came to a butcher store and i posted a story that i missed his meat and meat in american conversational english when you say i missed his meat means i missed his penis and again people laughed at me but i thought it was funny like it's not like and it was like dms people oh my god oh my god marina do you know it has a second meaning uh it and it's not like they are angry at me for making that mistake it was like you know a friendly advice so i've never ever had like people in real life like laugh at me like say oh my god your english is so bad what are you doing here never ever happened in my life and i started practicing english at the age of 14 and i was hanging out with really mean like teenagers can be really mean and they can tell really bad things in your face but never has that ever happened to me because people understand that i'm making an effort to be understood they understand that i come from a completely different culture and uh that i've never spoken english to my parents or to my grandparents so the only exception here is social media like if you're speaking english and social media just be ready to get those hate comments and even if you're perfect in english even if you're 120 out of 120 on toefl and you post a video how you got that score you would still like if it goes viral you would still get comments from people it's impossible your english is not good enough etc like there would always be people on social media hating you but in real life there's like this tiny chance it's gonna happen but it's it's not gonna happen guys native speakers especially americans especially british people are very friendly in real life uh people who i met people who i talked to in english even when i was intermediate they were really friendly and really supportive so it's all in our heads and i think if you have this fear in english like people would laugh at you you probably have it in other aspects of your life so it's just another reason for you to sit down with yourself and think about like i don't have to be liked by everyone and again i am a person who has this feeling all the time i want to be liked by everyone i want it i'm fighting this like once i started my channels i realized i can't be liked by everyone but it was really hurting me every time i read something negative about myself and it took me a while to understand and to realize that my goal is to use my talents is to grow as an entrepreneur youtuber whatever as a mom and do the best that i can what other people think about me it's other people's business they have their own understanding of reality they have their own experience maybe they just have a bad day but it doesn't have anything to do with me and if you want to dig deeper in this problem i really advise you to read a book uh the courage to be disliked it's like one of those books that i started reading last year i think last year i had this i don't know personality crisis but i was like i don't want to do this i don't want to do it i'm afraid to do this because people would comment and they would be unhappy with what i do and i started just doing a lot of psychological research and i started doing reading a lot of books and that was one of the books that really really helped me like it just talks about how you can't control other people's emotions you can't control what they think of you what you have to do is focus on what you can do the best is focus on your goals and start and achieve them another thing i could recommend watch the one on netflix it talks just about this woman entrepreneur who's a little ruthless and she's not like a role model that i want you to follow but it just talks about like how she deals with all the problems that arise when i was thinking like if i were at her place i would have definitely given up but she continued going i really encourage you to read those books to watch the one on netflix and to just read interviews uh related to this topic because this would help you in your life in general not just with english of course you will realize that you know the majority of people won't laugh at you and if they will it is their problem it's not your problem you're doing your best you're practicing your english you are putting effort into being understood by people who don't even speak your language and don't even make an effort to learn your language okay psychology class is over let's move up to some practical advice regarding other things that you can do so there is another fear what if the conversation gets too complicated and i won't be able to support it i also get this fear like for example again i can't really relate to this in english right now because my language is pretty i would say pretty advanced to talk about all kinds of topics but with german i can totally relate and when people start asking me about business i understand that i will start a conversation i will talk about my company but if they start digging deeper i would be like oh my god this is too complicated and um what in 2018 i had to have a surgery in germany and i was surprised i was actually able to communicate with doctors and nurses about medical stuff because basically when we talk about english we have 1 000 words that make up 86 of the conversation and what you really need to know if you know those 1000 words if you go into specific conversation you can always ask for definitions of like specific words so it was in germany doing that surgery i was like oh and what what is this in german i can say that in english or i could show you on google and once i learned like five or seven words that i needed that were related to that surgery the conversation became really easy because you don't need to know like the whole idea of surgery medical business vocabulary to support a an advanced conversation all you need is those 1000 words and also if you're like oh i don't know how many words i know right now this doesn't actually matter if you understand this video that means you know enough words to support a conversation so start practicing and if you forget a word if you don't know the term if you forget a word you can just google it on your phone with google translate and show your party this this word and you will be totally fine and this is by the way the way you learn this word really fast this video is brought to you by skillshare a resource that i keep recommending to you guys and they have an amazing course about self-care that i want you to explore it is a short course it would take around an hour to complete but it goes through the things that we talked about in more detail it talks about how you react to people that's around you the course is called revolutionary self-care embrace nurture and grow your authentic self and it talks about things that we've already talked about in this video in more detail like how to take risks how to ask for help how to find your authentic voice how to be yourself instead of trying to follow other people's guidelines instead of trying to do things that other people expect you to do just follow your gut like check out that course and if it's the first time you hear about skillshare skillshare is this amazing online learning community for creatives where millions of people come together to take the next step in their creative journey explore new skills deep in existing fashions and get lost in creativity skillshare has been created specifically for learning that means that there are no ads and they constantly add new classes for their premium members and it costs less than 10 dollars a month with an annual subscription the first 1 000 followers who hit a link below will get free trial of their premium membership that means that you can take a course that i've recommended completely for free just go there and explore the power of those short classes that are really straight to the point and uh please take the course that i've recommended if you are experiencing those problems with like overthinking what other people think of you again the link is below the first 1000 of my subscribers get access to a free trial of skillshare premium membership now let's continue with the video another question is that what if i feel shy what if i stop and freeze okay this can happen as well if you are too nervous about the conversation the trick that helps me a lot is to pretend that you're someone else because again stopping and freezing has to do something uh with what's going on with you internally like maybe you're again thinking that people are gonna laugh at you and just there are so many thoughts in your head that you can't just process them so imagine that you're a different person you probably if you're speaking to a native speaker you're probably in a new country nobody knows you and once this conversation is over you will part ways with this person so try to pretend you're your favorite movie character try to pretend you're an american if you're in america try to pretend that you are this famous blogger that you really really like i don't know try to pretend to be someone else just for this conversation it just lets your fears go and it helps you become more confident when you speak what if i offend someone that's another fear and one thing i wanted to remember here is that when we talk to a person people pay attention to our body language to our facial expressions or emotions and even if you say something incorrectly in english they would understand you didn't really mean it and also they would understand like if they tell you about something and you like you don't understand but you just say yes and a lot of times people will tell you but you didn't understand right and they would explain in another way it's okay to say oh i didn't mean that sorry was that offensive because my english is not good enough it's okay but if you're smiling if you're open then people will understand 100 that you didn't mean to offend them that it was like oh my god i'm sorry that is something that we're used to in our culture or mixed up the word people would understand now let's wrap up this video with a couple of tips uh if you have an important conversation english coming up maybe you have an interview with a university or i remember when we were preparing for y combinator interview it's an accelerator here in silicon valley the worst mistake that you can do is actually overthink it makes sense to prepare it makes sense to go through questions that were asked before in this kind of environment like go through questions that universities ask during the interview go through questions that people are normally asked etc but i would say take your time prepare for two hours but don't take too long because when it takes too long when it takes days we over prepared for a y combinator interview and instead of relaxing before it instead of just catching the vibe of silicon valley we were just brainstorming how we're gonna fight that small company that is trying to do the same thing and people there didn't even know about it and like now when i look back at it it's important to know what you're talking about like to tell your story to tell i don't know why you're interested in this so that university this or that subject but don't overthink like they would probably ask basic questions or if they ask some complicated questions it is almost impossible to predict what they're going to ask so learn some basic things but then let yourself relax watch something in english just put yourself into that environment before the conversation or before the test so that your brain switches from your language into english it will be a lot easier the next tip be nervous and do it anyways michael jordan once said being nervous isn't bad it just means something important is happening so my tip here and uh i did an interview with justin khan on silicon valley girl and he said don't be afraid of your emotions don't suppress them tell yourself okay i am nervous about this conversation i'm gonna have in english it is fine i understand that i'm nervous because it is an important conversation i understand that my english is maybe not good enough and i haven't practiced a lot but i'm gonna do it anyways and uh i'm gonna use this conversation as practice and after the conversation i'm gonna sit down and think what was good and what was bad i was really bad at like analyzing things afterwards because i'm this perfectionist and when i shoot a video i don't want to see it just because i understand i could have done better and this is an endless process but i actually taught myself to look at numbers i taught myself to actually sit down and think what i did wrong and what could be done better and it helps a lot with your progression so after the conversation sit down with yourself and think did i do everything i could do and if not you know just have some tips for yourself for the next conversation and i have this note in my iphone where i just put in things that i could do better in my videos and uh i have those tips uh that i always look at before an important video and just remind myself that i make those mistakes it is okay it's good that i know about them and i'm gonna be better in the next video the next tip do it until it feels normal just keep having those conversations in english keep being shy keep being nervous at some stage you're gonna be tired of it especially if you're in an english-speaking country or if you're applying to universities like i have a lot of people here in the u.s who are applying in the universities mostly children of my friends oh my god i'm so old uh but they're applying to like 24 colleges at once and you know interview number ten you just get tired of it and you just get used to it and you don't feel nervous anymore so keep doing also adopt the growth mindset something we've already talked about like i am bad at speaking english my accent's not good enough yet but i'm using this as a way to practice and i'm using this exact conversation as my way to improve learn to laugh at yourself you know life is simple we over complicate so many things we tend to think that this meeting is game changer it is not you can always do another meeting there's so many people in the world there's so many opportunities and if you don't get any results from the upcoming conversation doesn't matter you can do a lot more conversations the most important thing is that you have yourself you have your time you have your brain that helps you speak english like don't create problems for yourself enjoy life we only have one life and i want you to go ahead and enjoy it and look at everything from a positive perspective especially if it's something like smaller like conversation with a native speaker come on uh it's gonna be fine life is easy smile tell yourself that if not today you're gonna make it tomorrow if not tomorrow you're gonna make it in a week it is fine you'll get there thank you guys so much for watching this video up to the very end please subscribe this channel and if you have friends who are struggling to speak english or any other language please share this video with them and i'll see you very soon in my next videos bye

Channel: linguamarina

Views: 714,405

Rating: 4.9752259 out of 5

Keywords: english language, learn english, linguamarina, marina mogilko, linguatrip, english with linguatrip, fear of speaking, fear of speaking english, how can i overcome my fear of speaking english, why am i afraid to speak english, how to overcome my fear of speaking, how to overcome my fear of speaking english, why do i feel shy to speak english, afraid of talking, how to lose fear of speaking english, i know english but i am afraid to speak, i forget words while speaking english

Id: dctbI4EIsaQ

Length: 17min 23sec (1043 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 14 2021