Human resources employees. What are your best "HR nightmare" stories?(r/AskReddit)

ah / ah screw did human resources employees what are your best HR nightmare stories I had one employee submit a form to increase her own salary she also forged her managers signature like real new aware dude who would sometimes do all-nighters in the office a lady got there early one day around 6:30 a.m. and found the guy masturbating to porn at his cubicle crazy thing is he wasn't fired I guess he was good enough at working that they just moved him to another department I used to work for a company that is an hour nightmare several events occurred I was hired as a director of quality regulatory so I come in and start sprucing up documents policy and all the essential stuff a VP of Sales doesn't take too kindly to fixing the stuff they were lying fraud about and tells me in front of HR I'm going to make you so miserable that you quit this job still works there another sales guy went into a coma health issue and the higher-ups decided that they could fire him to keep their insurance cheaper and not pay out his life insurance luckily HR pointed out the potential lawsuit after they debated the cost of the lawsuit and whether they could win they kept him on until he passed a week later when I left I had my own company they decided they owned any IP I created when I was employed there I had no contract and non-competes aren't legal in my state the c-level employees all were convicted of corruption in multiple countries and are in jail the workers had races with those motorized forklifts one did not know that there was freshly poured concrete got the forklift stuck in it damage was more than 100 euros big foundation for a new storage facility according to the union contracts such damages are paid for by the company unless it was intentionally done walked into my boss's office told him about the situation HM ok shad avi can you please return to your office for a while ok as soon as I was at my desk I heard the loudest got verdammt 'she's from his office then my phone rang and he told me to inform the insurance which ended up paying less than 10k of the damage otherwise the usual HR nightmare is just people not keeping their documents in order not in HR but my previous senior manager was renowned for sleeping with colleagues he was married with kids before I started there I remember seeing a huge banner plastered across a footbridge that everyone leaving work by car had to drive under to get to the motorway the sign said Joe Bloggs not actual name cheating bastard turns out he was cheating on his wife with a team leader from another depth and was cheating on his mistress with another team leader from yet another department both the team leaders found out about each other and had a massive fight in the reception of the building but by the time I started at the company both of the team leaders were no longer working there Oscar manager is a good blog to read for these like a boss who asked his employees to donate an organ to his family my company used to give branded gifts to our clients one employee volunteered to drive one about an hour away and he took another employee with him what he didn't tell anyone is that he didn't have a license his car was unregistered and his brakes were bad so inevitably his brakes failed while trying to stop at an intersection and he totaled his car thankfully no one was seriously hurt but he got into trouble when the cops came I had a friend working at GM when HR thought it was a good idea to test everyone on the skill set needed for their department regardless of how long they were in their position long careers 15 20 25 years were ruined because even though they worked there for a long time with a long string of great performance reviews they didn't pass the test that measured what HR thought was required for the department say you're a materials expert working in a design department you may know barely enough in the CAD system to draw a cylinder on the other hand given a cylinder you can whip out all the properties that cylinder wouldn't if it were made aluminum cold-rolled steel fiberglass etc you'll be out of your job because HR said you had to have a certain level of CAD expertise even if it wasn't relevance to your role in the design process my favorite was the Deuter would have meetings with his boss via camera he was remote and while they discussed his abysmal performance he would have naked women get up from his bed and walk around he was told this was inappropriate several times continued we fired him for fraud a separate issue that was like a Tarantino film but gives too much away here I have a question for HR when I was working for an assisted living hospice facility workers would leave their shift without checking on numerous residents leaving them soiled and in the same clothing for two days I reported it to HR and they did nothing about it why would you choose not to do anything about that sort of situation in the end I had to quit I was going home upset daily the nightmare of an hour employee potentially causing the HR nightmare I took a grad course meant to prep future school principals on HR staff one of our assignments was to ask our current principal for redacted copies of disciplinary letters they'd written to use as examples to practice writing our own this assignment seem sketchy from the get-go but whatever it's grad school and I want an A the course was taught by the HR director who'd helped hire me and my building principal in the same school year the principal didn't have any letters from before I started there so just gave me a couple random ones somehow the professor was still surprised when I came to class knowing all the details of each write-up and despite the absence of detail in the letters the professor flipped out a little because he was worried the principal had broken some confidentiality rule it was actually just that I happened to be friends with the two that had been written harp teacher HR is a nightmare unto itself came into work early for a morning shift work in an industrial land heard noises from the back corner of the office portion of the building but can't make out what they are because of distortion head that way to see what was going on as I was the only one there so I thought at 3 a.m. see my lab manager [ __ ] the district manager her boss while the HR rep for the districts is sitting there enjoying the view I note and went to the lab and tried to forget what happened not crazy for CeBIT dumb and annoying the HR team here recently rebranded themselves the people team presumably to seem more friendly I just enjoy the implication that they're saying all the other teams in the business and people so many stories lots of theft lots of petty [ __ ] calling anything and everything harassment and or discrimination generally acting like kindergartners looking at porn at work I could go on and on and on guy got chick hooked on meth she started going around [ __ ] a lot of people drugs were done in the building all parties got fired and the chick ended up on spring after a few months to prove to her accent the kid was his and not one of the other five guys she was [ __ ] I work for a general contractor's office so many uncomfortable actions that my boss acknowledges he is doing but refuses to change one being that he sends any of our guys that are injured on the job to get checked out and treated by his chiropractic girlfriend who then gives him their full medical report the company then pays her just a big no manufacturing long story short the company uses some pretty dangerous equipment and machines the manufacturing floor and warehouse had started to have some safety issues so they decided to stop doing random drug tests 60% failed including the best friend of the owner this same person was responsible for several of the safety issues mentioned above and was directly responsible for two people being injured while on the job due to negligence on his part so what did HR do nothing the owner was one of the people that failed once witnessed-- sir manager of the company try to invite kids to a casino themed party when he asked why HR had to explain to him I didn't think it was appropriate to invite children since its up you know there's gambling and alcohol it's in our dangerous warehouse it's a school night and you know Hooters is catering and as that is that enough should I keep going working as a temp in the leave of absence Department for a major grocery chain and the amount of people who would far who have cancer or some other terminal condition is terrible having to fire people who were telling about how their rates would go up and they can't afford their house truly a miserable time the amount of people who thought the law said I wasn't allowed to fire them was odd I was a manager finishing a meeting with HR and she said the next meeting was for an employee who was caught masturbating at the urinal thank God I was not HR but nearly an observer we had a new batch of staff at my retail job don't know who does the hiring but it's hit and miss we had a new black girl start and her first [ __ ] was with a Mexican girl who within five minutes started arguing that the n-word hard ah is acceptable in Mexico and she should be able to say it even though we were in Australia as myself and the black girl explained on this same day a new guy just never returned from his lunch break as in he had an hour for lunch was told to go on his break and never returned we had to send out half our staff to find security centre management customer service and every bathroom in the centre to make sure he was alive and finally on that same day a customer got into an argument with a long-term staff member turns out the customer was in fact a staff member within the company from a different location so while a floor manager was sorting out the argument the HR responsible had to call up the other store to find out what the [ __ ] was happening and what the mix-up was this threat is going to be awesome saw the guy blatantly lying his recruitment form watching him fill it out in front of me it was total bollocks apparently he was 15th in line to the throne went to Eton studied at Oxford and served in the Army for nine years after training at Sandhurst not bad for a 21 year old who had in fact spent three years in a young offenders Institute battling a drug problem I'm not sure HR employee but my dad encountered a lot of dumb [ __ ] working as a manager of enter shipping company here for example his star employee Employee of the Month was a common occurrence to him a really well rounded off guy one day dad leaves the centre for mourning because he had a horrible toothache that needed to be pulled that day while he's gone star employee begin to slip small packages into his pockets with this company most packages have insurance but most items of monetary value so star employee stole over 20k worth of jewelry and items over his career with enter shipping company here edit we actually have no idea where this guy is these days maybe prison maybe still working for enter shipping company here who knows we had the guy in one of our stores submit a grievance to us about how we were discriminating against him because we were giving a female seven months pregnant colleague some extra breaks she had a medical note confirming the reasonable adjustments needed so she could sit down for an extra five minutes every so often because he was unable to get pregnant so could not take advantage of the same extra breaks didn't really know where to start with that one we had to terminate someone after eight days of employments for very serious misconduct issues including sexual harassment when I notified the employee he started threatening me the manager and the entire company he went on to send threatening emails to the VP's and other senior leadership threatening a lawsuit his manager was concerned for her safety and the company had to hire additional security come to find out that the guy we terminated had recently sued his previous employer this whole thing is still happening so I don't have an ending to this nightmare yet Happy Thanksgiving our temporary replacement manager shot a firearm in the office while showing off he only lasted a day I've dated to HR chicks in my life and they were both ugh at first they were bubbly and seemed great then you stopped to get tired of her constant animosity towards fellow female co-workers so much so one admitted to getting some payroll lady fired just because they didn't get along they seem nice but then they kidnap your dog as ransom and email your mom saying that you beating it the day after you break things off with her in routers have you heard of Horrible Bosses we have human resources I've posted this story before so bit of a riposte I'm an HR with the federal government and while my old office had so many antics that you could let a film crew go and get the next big sitcom one event in particular stands out out of the blue an employee at the office resigns her resignation letter was five pages long and went into lengthy detail about how her supervisor one of the assistant directors even went as far as to say that the supply room people treated her unfairly and ended it with some comment about how women in general were treated poorly there while her supervisor wasn't exactly the best person to work for she was a known problem employee and glue the events in question completely out of proportion and labeled everyone she named somehow a copy of this letter made it all the way to DC and let the office of the secretary as in a member of the president's cabinet secretary shortly after that happened a series of ER meetings took place and everyone had to be questioned on this sometimes more than once no one was fired or reprimanded my current job is awesome regarding HR little to no complaints my last job boy howdy let us see someone got stabbed a woman left after accusing guys of staring at her on the floor but then what takes the cake is a guy coming to me with pictures of penises on his phone claiming another worker was sending him the pictures he had zero proof of a co-worker send England but I do believe he wasn't pulling my leg when he said they were sent to harass him dude had at least a dozen dick pics from a few different numbers I suspect someone was using an app to mask their actual phone number I told my supervisor but nothing ever really came of it because he couldn't prove where exactly the pictures were coming from I'm sure I have more stories but I can't think of any atm there was a dude in our other facility that was going around and wiping their ass and shoving the [ __ ] back up into the toilet paper dispenser so that when the next person goes to reach Lal I could read this [ __ ] all day one place I used to work one of the upper management guys who was in charge of the warehouse would hop on the forklifts and do doughnuts he had colon cancer and was always having surgeries to remove another section of colon so he had a colostomy bag he would like squeeze air out of his colostomy bag while he was doing donuts on the forklifts it would waft this god-awful stench everywhere everyone thought it was hilarious and would immediately run outside for a smoke break until the scent dissipated the smell was bad enough it made a co-worker puke also had another manager there eat six ten sacks of white castle sliders for lunch he ate the last ten sack on the toilet I have no idea how he could eat with the sounds and stench as he was emitting from his other end it sounded like someone trying to drown Donald Duck in a puddle while Tooting a tuba no one went into that bathroom for the rest of the day second day on the job I had two female workers tell me that the day before they were travelling in a company van with a male supervisor to another city they claimed that the supervisor openly masturbated into their purses from the backseat his defense was that he didn't orgasm owners decided to fire the two women for telling lies find the parts manager for a dealership and my HR person breaks more infractions than anyone else we had a new guy start for a warranty administrator position and he is from South Korea I was in her office handing in paperwork she also does our accounting and she looks at me and frustration and says can he not read English one making slant-eyes the second time came when she called my office to ask if I was still dating what's her name my now wife but this is while we were engaged because someone in the office had a crush on me everyone here has doped stories the best story I got is a guard lying about when he was available to work this question is made for Toby from the office obligatory not in HR but the director of HR and several other senior managers including the controller was encouraging me to sleep with one of the married accountants I didn't realize it at all since I'm kind of oblivious like that but apparently she had the hots for me since I had signed on rumors were floating that same derivate Shah was fooling around with one of the other department heads rumor only but they spent an awful lot of time in each other's company that really couldn't be explained otherwise the recirculation of B classes the manager called me a lemonhead not HR myself but I know one time when HR completely failed I worked at a chain that regularly hires kids in high school one day the 16 y/o girl and her mom start working at my store they switched from another store in the chain cause another employee in his 40s made inappropriate comments he would make them to customers and co-workers including this 16 y/o girl so her mom and her came to our store within two months the dude gets transferred to our store needless to say he eventually got transferred back out but that was some terrible HR work my friend was doing hiring for a staffing agency during college a guy who he went to high school came in looking for a job he told the candidate that he had two jobs one paid 10 an hour and the other paid 11 the only thing was that the 11 an hour job requires a drug test and if you fail the drug test you can't get either he said that he wanted the 11 an hour job now we knew him well enough to know that he liked smoking so my friend reiterated the drug test failed rule dude said he was good on Friday to take the test Monday come Monday he took the drug test pissed hot for weed cocaine amphetamines and some other [ __ ] that gets out of your system in 48 hours I was in HR for a few years I could write a book crazy times I dealt with sudden deaths crazy people trying to hit me when attending their disciplinary a suicide attempt a young employee going blind a man with special needs going crazy and holding a knife to someone's throat turns out he was in a forced marriage a woman who was off long-term sick due to being raped and an applicant for a job who told me that he was a half blind half deaf toothless ball damn a fraud ight and that was actually totally true their name was Suzanne I also met 911 and got sexually harassed fun times I don't work in HR but they probably had a moment of silence when I dropped racism and discrimination case at their email INBOX one day they were scrambling for a few days trying to contain the fire D possibly wife's first week and one HR job hospital janitor gets caught masturbating in the parking loss in his car by a patient heading in for treatment at another job she had to field a union grievance about goats taking people's jobs the university had hired rental goats to perform brush clearing on a small piece of land they wanted cleared Union argued brush clearing was their work not the goats this one time my company large retailer decided to make me the HR manager on top of my other already stressful management position I did not apply for it I have not been trained in it and I somehow have to navigate my way through a myriad of legal pitfalls alive abilities there is no bigger HR nightmare this is a nightmare nitch London HR consultancy a madhouse only regularly invited consultants and support staff to join him and wife big coke habit also worked for the company for threesomes everyone knew what was going on when I left I handed an envelope to the head of HR and told her that I hoped she wouldn't ever have to open it but if a certain ex-employee were to contact the firm she would have to when you are somewhere like this I follow processes by document everything and III do not let anyone get anything on you my sister works in HR for a utility company and almost all her horror stories are about the engineers most are completely normal but if you live up to the stereotype of having no social awareness apparently one day the worst of these engineers was giving a presentation to some higher-ups one of these executives came from a non-technical background and mispronounced gigawatts I guess the engineer immediately interrupted with no it's gigawatts it rhymes with near I feel like staffing has some of the craziest stories I'm a recruiter about 1.5 years and I've had over 60 employees that I personally managed with the top 15 that were bananas people getting fired with the first week inappropriate behavior fraud all sorts of stuff I think employee relations and large companies has the 100% the craziest and best stories not in HR but we recently had a situation where a guy masturbated in the plant bathroom then through his come on a girl shortly afterwards before obviously being escorted out they were talking with him and he said hey she should feel lucky I chose her as if that was the utmost compliment but [ __ ] up but the funniest part of the story the supervisor told me was the girl went to him and said I've got [ __ ] in my hair and at first he was just like qhh like residual probably that time I got stranded on a spaceship I hope at least one person gets that reference in all seriousness though props to HR people for dealing with everyone's [ __ ] my job is a constant HR nightmare boss has slept with co-worker a co-worker ray is married to co-worker B co-worker B plus a have been married unhappily for 10 years or something now B has no idea even though B invites boss over for dinner once every other week boss is now dating new co-worker my best friend law and has already gifted her $2,000 despite another co-worker suffering from cancer and barely being able to pay the bills when he was still working my other boss who owns other lesser half of company has called me a narcissist in a meeting tailed me literally there are no such things as business ethics that's barely the past couple months been there for four years sorry not HR we don't have one edit got tons more story as if entrusted but heading off to work now actually not from HR but I work for a big corporation and I saw a racial event unfold between subjects a an african-american and the offended and subject be a Middle Eastern Arab the offender where B started calling air the n-word in front of a bunch of other people who started telling him to stop but B kept going telling others to shut up and that he was entitled to say the n-word and a frente with it because he wasn't white and they shouldn't feel offended about it subjects they really controlled himself and left the building be chased him around the building still provoking him and after a left came back and tried to explain to the others why he did it everyone involved sent a letter to HR explaining the events I had a talked with his manager and HR B was sent home for a week while HR did the investigation when B came back he was cooled to a beating room got a strong reprimand from HR and that's it he kept working for a year got into other issues with people nobody wanted to work with him until he started intimidating women physically and verbally that's when his manager and HR finally decided to get rid of him but still took them almost a month Traynor was gay and his team leaders gay and his manager is a lesbian all true and he doesn't feel comfortable working around all these gays and lesbians the HR employee asks and as anyone has ever he sexually harassed him which he says they haven't she then says so you want me to file his employees strictly based on their sexual orientation just so you don't feel uncomfortable he says yes after which she tells him to leave the office she then calls in his manager and talks with her about it he ends up quitting by the end of the week we had a woman show up to work in a fishnet shirt and a black bra which basically meant she was wearing a bra around the office because the fishnet did nothing to hide her skin her male manager came to me with an exhausted look on his face and asked me to come talk to his employee about dress code I had to take the 40 plus year old woman into an office and explain she had to go home and change and know she wouldn't be paid during her time away from the office because she violated dress code she demanded I call my boss regional HR director because she said I was lying and being a racist we made the call she got sent home for the full day without pay and we wrote her up for it she left shouting about how I was a racist and she was going to file a complaint this lady eventually got fired for a bunch of other insanity including having sex with a co-worker in our parking lot with the door open I'm very glad I no longer work in HR not really an hour situation but when I was in the user foul reiji was basically HR so I served on the honor guard at Hell in northern Utah we had a nice female Eman who wanted to be on the honor guard so badly that when she didn't make the cut you go through an interview process which your former unit needs to be called and they have to say you're not a [ __ ] she complained to the IG that half the group sexually assaulted her at different times it didn't help that she told our MSgt that she would do that if she didn't make the honor guard naturally the IG had to investigate not really sure what the outcome of that was I separated before the investigation came to a conclusion this question is made for Toby from the office just a little tip for anybody in charge of new hires take your stack of applications and throw half of them in the trash because you wouldn't want to hire an unlucky person those who can't teach those who can't teach teach pay those who can't teach pay go into HR HR what a useless Department full of useless people Toby my boss I work for a paper company in New York and my boss thinks he's funny but he's not he gets on everybody's nerves and he has some sort of never-ending grudge on me this is why I don't like anybody named Michael I work in recruitment so not exactly HR a guy had applied for a job that's required a VBS check police check he filmed the DBS and all his other checks flew through the DBS came back as he had committed a crime in the past now on our end only the guy who will be applicants manager and a senior in our department can see the DBS results he called the department unhappy the job had been withdrawn he then sent a long email in begging for another chance he said when he was 17 he beat two women up then threatened the cops with a gun we're in the UK so guns are pretty rare especially in the 1970s he went into detail about the attempted rape this dude wanted a job in a hospital it's a no mate I was sitting in the HR office with one of the members of HR I was waiting on her to finish a form so that we could go eat lunch suddenly this guy comes in he was a young temp employee and had only been there a week or so and says he has something he needs to talk about I stopped to get up to leave when he blurts out that he doesn't like that fact that there are so many gays and lesbians working in the company once he says that I sit right back down the HR employee asks him to clarify and he goes on about how his trainer was gay and his team leaders gay and his manager is a lesbian all true and he doesn't feel comfortable working around all these gays and lesbians the HR employee asks and as anyone has every sexually harassed which he says they haven't she then says so you want me to fire these employees strictly based on their sexual orientation just so you don't feel uncomfortable he says yes after which she tells him to leave the office she then calls in his manager and talks with her about it he ends up quitting by the end of the week my friend who worked in HR told me about her old job where the boss had drilled a hole from his office through to the ladies changing rooms and was perve whacking at every chance he could get they found out because someone saw the light through the hole as he took the cover off for a peek he denied everything and they had to take a DNA sample from the carpet under the hole which confirmed it was a human be that he had indeed been whacking away thanks for 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Channel: reddit saurus

Views: 7,326

Rating: 4.7333331 out of 5

Keywords: Reddit, Comedy

Id: fkbbYX0qIBI

Length: 31min 21sec (1881 seconds)

Published: Wed Nov 27 2019