How To Stop Procrastinating - You Will Finally Be Productive!

[Music] hello my name is Noah elef and in this video I'm going to show you how to stop procrastinating and in the process of showing you how to do that I'm also going to help you to stop feeling bad about yourself when you do procrastinate and how to stop being filled with internal conflict this this war of trying to do your work but yet wanting to procrastinate and you know that familiar struggle so in order to stop procrastinating we first have to look at what procrastinating is so we know it as delaying what I want to be doing or I should be doing but beyond that look in your own life do you ever never procrastinate eating ice cream watching TV playing a sport dancing or doing anything that you love no of course not you don't procrastinate what you enjoy on the other hand do you ever procrastinate doing your taxes doing your homework uh working on a project cleaning the dishes cleaning your room of course these are the things we procrastinate because these are most often the things that we don't enjoy so what is procrastinating avoiding what you don't enjoy or in other words avoiding suffering so that's actually quite logical of course we're going to avoid suffering of course we're going to immediately do what we enjoy that makes sense doesn't it so when you apply the normal methods of how to to stop procrastinating it usually have to do with time management or trying harder or things like that but you can't force yourself to do it now most of the time because you're not addressing the reason why you're avoiding it and all the time management tactics in the world won't be enough if you're avoiding it because it makes you suffer so what do you do about it well it depends on what specific suffering you have around the task activity or issue so broadly speaking there are five major reasons why people procrastinate and I'm going to go over each of them real quick and then I'm going to go into each one of them in more detail to show you how to get rid of it how to lose it so the five major reasons why we procrastinate are one one because it's overwhelming so we have so much to do we don't know where to start and it overwhelms our mind two because the previous time we did it we didn't enjoy it we were unhappy while doing it so now we're in avoiding it because we remember it as something unenjoyable the third reason is because our mind tells us some story about how it will make us suffer and how it won't be good for us the fourth reason is because we have some suffering now that could be completely unrelated to the task and so we want to avoid that suffering and we immediately go into distractions like TV uh internet and things along those lines and five the fifth reason is because the task just isn't the right fit for us okay so now let's look at how to lose each one of those reasons each one of those uh causes for procrastination for the first reason avoiding something because it's overwhelming the way to get around that is by breaking down the big task into small little tasks focus on where to start the first thing to do rather than thinking of all the things you have to do and the way to really handle that is to not keep it in your head but put it down on paper write down all the things you have to do and pick one to do now focus on one thing where to start when you think of all the things at the same time your mind is very busy and it's and you can't focus on one and it becomes overwhelming and kind of scary in a sense right so in order to not avoid it in order to not be scared by it and overwhelmed by it focus on one task focus on where to start rather than all the things you need to do and write it down the second reason why we procrastinate is because we're avoiding something that was previously unenjoyable so in that situation if the last time you did your work a specific task whatever it was unenjoyable the reason why you avoid it is because you think the task or activity itself was unenjoyable but it wasn't what happened was you were unhappy while doing the task and then you think the task made you unhappy but it didn't no matter what the task was what made you unhappy was your thoughts in that situation in those moments that you were doing the task you had some story in your head that was making you unhappy the way to see that it's not the task itself that was making you unhappy is because probably in some moments while doing that task you were fully immersed in it and you weren suffering or somebody else could be doing that task and they're not suffering right so in order to to not procras inate or to stop procrastinating doing an activity that you previously didn't enjoy or that you were previously unhappy in is to really identify what thoughts are making you suffer while doing that task and then recognize how they're not true so they stop impacting you and stop making you unhappy so the most common I'll go over now the most common thoughts that will make you unhappy while doing a particular task and it's mostly FOC focused on work because it seems that work is the things we procrastinate most often so the most common one is or one of the most common ones is while doing the task you have anxiety so you might have anxiety of it would be bad if I don't get this done on time or it would be bad if my boss doesn't like it or it would be bad if um it doesn't work out how I want basically if I don't get the new client if I lose somebody if something happens so it's some variation of it would be bad if and when you tell that story in your head it creates anxiety and stress then you think the stress is caused by the actual activity that you're engaged in but it's not it's created by the story and the way to lose the anxiety is to discover you don't know whether it would be bad for that particular outcome to occur so if you're thinking it would be bad let's say you're preparing for a client presentation so you think it would be good if I get the client bad if I don't but how do you know that can you think of any reasons why it might be good for you or your business you think it would be good if you're writing a book it would be good for it to sell a lot and bad for it to sell a little how do you know it would be good if I get it done this task done by this amount of time and bad if it takes that long how do you know can you think of a few reasons as to why the opposite could be true when you recognize you don't know whether it would be bad or good for the outcome you want to happen to happen then you lose that story and you lose the anxiety that goes with it does that make sense the second reason or the second thought that makes us suffer in our job or while doing anything is a thought that says I'm not good good enough while doing the task we have these insecure thoughts of I'm not going to be able to get this done I'm not smart enough I'm not quick enough so when those thoughts pop up in your head ask yourself do I know that to be true do I know I won't get it done do I know I'm not smart enough do I know I'm not capable of this haven't I done it before is it possible that I'm capable of it how do I know and even if you're not capable right if the answer is you know what no I really am not capable so you might discover you are capable and you might discover no I'm really not capable of getting this done so if you're not capable then you can work on how to make yourself capable you can tell your boss I'm not capable if that seems appropriate or most importantly most fundamentally you can recognize that not being capable of this particular task doesn't mean you are bad in any way you see we don't pick our intellect we don't control our memory we don't control our tasks or our skills right to a degree right look at that you didn't pick what intellect you have it doesn't mean anything about you you didn't pick your memory if you have a certain skill set right so you did decide in some way to put fourth time into developing a certain skill or not so if you don't have the skill that's required in order to get a task done does that mean you're worse than someone who has that skill no you have some skills they have some skills you have some qualities they have some qualities on some level right what makes one knowing one skill better than knowing another skill doesn't mean anything about you it's a skill right it doesn't mean anything about you you the third common thought that makes us suffer while we're doing our work is comparisons so basically when you're in your job it is incredibly common for people to compare what they're doing to their fantasy right so you might compare it to your fantasy of a job that has purpose a job that has meaning a job that reaches my full potential uh or not a job like it would be better to be on a beach somewhere so the reason why that creates suffering is as soon as you believe your fantasy to be um the way for you to be happy as soon as you believe your fantasy is the key to happiness you automatically believe this moment is insufficient and lacking and then you feel feel like something's missing from your life and that creates boredom lack and and just unhappiness so when a fantasy comes of it would be great if I had this job that has purpose or meaning or being there ask yourself what do I want most in life what is the number one most important thing to me is it purpose and meaning and living on a beach or is it peace because if the answer is peace which it is for everyone I've come into into contact with right but most people aren't willing to see that or aren't ready to see that if you want peace more than anything else then you'll discover that well then the next question is can purpose or meaning or Beach give you peace and it seems as though the answer might be yes but that misunderstands the question what makes you suffer what prevents you from being in peace thoughts thoughts that give you anxiety thoughts that make you worry about others opinions thoughts that make you feel insecure thoughts that compare yourself to others thoughts that compare this moment to your fantasy so if you achieve your f Fant to see it no matter what it is the dream job the dream meaning the dream purpose the dream Beach the dream house any of it it doesn't have the ability to eliminate the thoughts that make you suffer so why would you give attention to a fantasy that can't give you what you want when you discover that achieving your fantasy can't give you peace then you automatically stop giving attention to it you can still pursue it with all your effort with their won't be anxiety or lack associated with it because the only reason we have anxieties we think one outcome would be better than another and the only reason we care about what outcome is better than another is if we innocently believe that achieving one outcome would result in happiness and one outcome result in suffering but what outcome you have out there doesn't impact your peace because it doesn't change the thoughts in your head if In This Moment you're comparing uh what you're doing to your fantasy in the next moment you're going to do the same thing in a year in 10 years no matter what you change out there or when your job which is your hand movements right you're not going to change the thoughts in your head if you never even look at them if you ever even deal with them you see there's no such thing as purpose or meaning as some something real no matter what job you're doing how would you know you have purpose or meaning or potential you're reaching your potential that is a story in your head there is no point where you can find potential or meaning or purpose on your body or on the job there is a story if you're in a job and you are let's say you it's you think all of the money you're making for the company is going to make the owner really really rich then you'll feel my job doesn't have meaning my job doesn't have purpose it's just making one guy Rich right but what happens if he's giving all of his money to charity and you don't know about it would you feel different no cuz you don't know about it you don't feel what's actually happening you feel your thoughts about it if you work in a charity and you think I'm doing such good work but what if the the head of the charity is really taking all the money for himself and not giving it if you don't know about it which means you don't think about it then you don't feel anything bad you feel my life has so much purpose the amount of purpose or meaning you feel is not related to what you are doing it is related to the story in your head and so when you think you have purpose or meaning it is never enough to actually make you feel fulfilled and happy because it doesn't affect all the other thoughts in your head and it's not real so it never feels like enough so but simply taking a step back one of the major causes of suffering while doing anything is comparing this moment to your fantasy and the way to eliminate the sense of lack that that creates is to discover that your fantasy can't make you happy because it can't get rid of the thoughts in your head now moving on to the third fundamental reason why we procrastinate that is because a thought tells us something about the future which makes us think that we will suffer from doing the task it is slightly different than what we spoke about before so the most common thing perhaps um in this category is the fear of failure right so we think we well what happens is if you think it would be better for you to achieve one outcome than another other one then you automatically are afraid of not achieving the best case scenario but even more than being afraid of that outcome we're afraid about what it means about me okay so let's say it's uh starting your own business okay or or actually writing a book let's say so let's say you write a book so best case scenario it sells millions of copies worst case scenario it sells nothing right so you think selling a lot will make you happier and selling less will make you will make you less happy right so that creates fear but the real strength of fear comes from if I sell a lot of books that means I am great and if I don't sell a lot of books that means I am not so that is a fear of failure because of what because of what it means about me so the way to avoid that fear is well the way that we tend to avoid that fear is by not giving our all so if I give a 100% effort towards writing this book and getting it out there and nobody buys it it means I'm not good enough according to the story in our head but if we only give 60% effort towards it then we have an excuse for why if it fails and nobody buys it we have an excuse I didn't give all my eff effort that's why it happened that's why it didn't work out right so then it doesn't mean anything about me it just means I didn't put enough effort in there's no out when you put 100% effort in so the way to put 100% effort in and not to procrastinate and not to have that excuse is to recognize that the outcome of your effort doesn't mean anything about you good or bad so if 10 people spend a 100 hours writing a book about the exact same topic researching at the same amount spending the exact same amount of time writing is each one going to sell the same number of copies no why not we don't know each one has a mind that works differently each one has a different network of connections each one has uh a different memory a different skill set a different all different types of things that are different right if each person spends 100 hours uh practicing basketball each one's going to come up with a end up with a different skill level why because the amount of time we put in doesn't necessarily or doesn't isn't the only factor that determines the outcome so when you fail at achieving the outcome you desire you say it's my fault but there's no millions of factors which you don't control you didn't control the intellect that was given to you the memory your previous life experiences that help to contribute to what you're doing whether your boss likes it whether the readers like it whether you meet the right person to help it succeed any of those things it's not up to you we don't operate in a vacuum where everything that happens is only based on what I do it's not how it works and even if it was based on only what I do I don't control what I'm able to do you see so when you recognize that the good outcome doesn't mean you're great and the bad outcome doesn't mean you're bad then all of a sudden you're free to try your best you don't need to procrastinate the second thought in this category of why we procrastinate is because we we often have this idea that that I am forced to do what I'm doing right so I have to do this I have no choice so this could happen with someone doing their homework or this could happen with someone in their job when they think I have to do this right I don't want to do it but I have to so that mentality creates resentment towards the task it's forcing me to do something I don't want to do and when we're forced to do something we don't want to do we put it off partially because we we want to avoid things that we don't enjoy and partially just as this uh idea to give us some power right well I may have to do it but I can do it when I want I don't have to do it now the way to uh get around this this story in our head is to Simply recognize you do have a choice you are choosing to do it so with your homework you may think you don't have a choice you have to do it no you do have a choice do the homework and get a a grade that you like or don't do the homework and get a grade that you don't like don't do the homework and have your parents be mad at you you have a choice the same is true with doing your work you think you don't have a choice you do the choice is do your work and get the boss to like you or at least um be okay with you or don't do the work and take the chance of being fired or talk to the boss and see if there's something you can do about it or quit and do something else you have a choice you are choosing to do the work no matter what the situation is you have a choice always and when you recognize you are choosing to do it you stop blaming it on others that are forcing it on you and then you can stop resenting it you can see I am choosing to do it because I've evaluated the pros and cons and I've decided this choice is what's best for me that's always what's happening we're just unaware of it the next reason why we we uh avoid work is because we think I'm not good enough to do it right so we may have never done it before or we may have done it before but we tell a story I'm just not going to be able to do it I why even start I'm not going to be able to so in that situation you could simply ask yourself the question do I know that to be true is it possible that I will be able to do it have I done something similar before and been able to do it have I previously come to the conclusion that I won't be able to do something and then when I tried I actually was able to do it so do you actually know that you won't be able to do it and if you think you do then you can ask yourself the question do I know whether it's better to fail or succeed at this how do I know what's best for my life do I know all the effects that could occur from this situation from failing or succeeding how do you know and the last thought that we're going to talk about in this category of avoiding work because of what thoughts say is the idea that if you do the work you are missing out on something else right so you think it's a waste of time it's not fun right it's sometimes referred to as the fear of missing out so the whole premise of the fear of missing out out and thinking wanting to do something fun instead of that is based on the idea that the best way to pursue happiness is through experiences but when you pursue happiness through experience your life goes happy moments experience suffering and a sense of lack all in between because if you're the waiting for fun moments like the night the weekend and you spend your entire life waiting to be happy all day long you're waiting to for the nighttime all week long you're waiting for the weekend all all six months you're waiting for your next vacation always waiting to be happy because you think happiness comes from accumulating fun moments look at your own experience is that the way you want to live life is that a fulfilling way to live life a fun moment is simply a distraction from your thoughts when you're engaged in any activity that fix your complete attention you're peace you're happy you're having fun why because you're not giving attention to all the thoughts in your head it doesn't matter what your job is how much money you make what your marital situation is what you look like anything when you're distracted from your thoughts right whether you're watching TV playing sports dancing anything if you're distracted from your thoughts you're fine if you're at work and you watch a a funny cat video you're fine in that moment because you're distracted from your thoughts so that's fine there's no problem with that except that distracting yourself from your thoughts to pursue happiness is an incredibly temporary solution if you're looking for happiness from distractions your distracting yourself from a thought for a moment and then all of your thoughts come right back right so when you're pursuing a fun moment instead of your work what you're saying is this fun moment is the key to happiness but ask yourself what do I want fun moments suffering moments and lack in between or do I want to live a life of fulfillment to enjoy everything that I do to Always Feel Complete at whole the way to be at peace is discover how to be happy in any situation not to constantly try to change everything in everyone to make it match your idea perfect so you can be happy in every moment that never works because no matter how perfect everything is you still have all the same thoughts now the fourth fundamental reason why we procrastinate was to avoid some form of suffering and then go to a distraction now so this is where the things like watching TV going on YouTube looking up articles on the internet Facebook eating going to distractions going to to simple fun activities or mind consuming activities to take breaks from work or to avoid work so why do we do that because in order to stop doing it you have to understand why you do it and there's really a simple answer and that is our mind goes to what makes us happy okay that's where we go and so when you watch that cat video when you uh read an interesting article when you look at photos when you eat you have a a a little bit of pleasure a little high right and so what happens is that creates a memory of pleasure and then in this moment in any moment that you feel a sense of lack you immediately look to escape that feeling of lack by going to the easiest source of pleasure and the easiest source of pleasure food TV internet pictures whatever something that takes your attention away from how you feel and away from the thoughts you have in this moment so the way to avoid doing that is not to force myself to stop I need to stop doing that doesn't work does it why do you keep checking your email they keep telling looking for good news looking for someone to prove they love you looking for some comment that say he still likes me whatever right if you're not addressing the reason why you're going to something no amount of discipline is going to stop you from going there so the way to free yourself from this constant urge to escape how you feel and go to distractions is to look at how you feel in the moment that you're pulled to go to a distraction so if right now I'm trying to do my work and then I feel like going to have a donut stop what am I trying to escape now and look because there's some story going on that's making you unhappy it may be some thought about how you're not good enough your life isn't good enough I don't know it could be anything but you need to look for yourself to see what thoughts you're trying to avoid because that's what distractions are doing avoiding thoughts distracting you from thoughts so the way to stop having the pull to go to distractions is to stop suffering to stop uh being at the effect of these thoughts in your head and the way to stop being at the effect of the thoughts in your head is to look at them we never spend time with our thoughts we always need to be distracted in every single moment right when do you spend time by yourself with no distractions you need TV music food friends work anything to avoid you just being alone with your own thoughts right but if you can't be with your own thoughts of course you're going to try to escape them in every moment if you want peace if you want to stop procrastinating right because they're the same thing if you're not in peace you're going to procrastinate right because you're going to associate your suffering with a task and you're going to try to avoid your suffering Now by going to things that make you happy so if you want to stop procrastinating what you really want is peace and happiness and the way to get that is to be willing to look at what thoughts you're telling yourself over and over again and then look at whether they're true or not and you can use the free my free ebook and free web app in the description to help you uh investigate your thoughts see what stories you're telling yourself or you can look at my other videos now for the fifth reason the fifth fundamental reason why we procrastinate is simply because a task a job is not the right fit for us okay so so maybe you really love interacting with people and you're in a job where you're in Microsoft Excel all day so that's not the ideal fit for you you don't feel motivated enthusiastic pulled to go do it right so in that case here's the thing you could recognize that and then try to pursue a different job or to pursue a different way to spend your time but here's the most important thing to understand about that if if some task is not the right fit for you you don't actively avoid it you see so for me I love dealing with people but I don't avoid numbers I don't avoid uh doing other type of work because it doesn't make me suffer it's neutral so the task that isn't the right fit for me is still neutral so there's no reason to avoid it if you're trying to avoid something it's because it's not neutral it's because you believe it's making you suffer but even if something's not the right fit for you it can't make you suffer the only thing that can make you suffer is the thoughts in your head that's it does that make sense if you have any questions so that's that's it for this video those are the five major reasons and the primary thoughts that cause us to suffer while doing a task and cause us to avoid doing a task and which make us procrastinate so if you have any questions about anything I said which you probably will please ask them in the comments because I'm going to answer them and then by answering these questions in the comments other people can see that and we can end up addressing everyone's issues and hopefully stop some procrastinating right so thank you for watching this video and I I'm I'm excited to hear what uh what the impact is on your life and if you found it helpful all right I'll see you on the next video bye hello again if you found my video helpful or you enjoyed it I welcome you to click on one of the videos below as you might find them helpful as well or if you want to make sure you never miss another video of mine again you can click the Subscribe button over there and if you want my free ebook you're welcome to click the free ebook button over there so thanks again for watching and I'll see you around [Music] bye

Channel: Noah Elkrief

Views: 232,929

Keywords: Procrastination (Quotation Subject), noah elkrief, noahelkrief, Health (Industry), how to stop procrastinating, stop procrastinating

Id: bnfKnqe2tJc

Length: 34min 45sec (2085 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 20 2014