- Do you sometimes get shy
when you meet someone new? Do you sometimes get nervous when you're in front of a large group of people? Or maybe, you worry a little bit too much if other people like you or not. I used to feel all of these things, but there was one realization that I had that made all of these feelings go away. Back in high school I really
wanted to be that cool kid, who was always confident,
relaxed and smooth in every single situation. But I noticed that when I tried talking to an attractive or a popular kid, this awkward feeling would
take over my entire body, and the more I thought about this feeling, the worse it all got. So I've set out on a mission to get rid of this feeling forever. At first I tried following
the usual advice, of just be yourself, or don't worry about what other people think. And this stuff did help a little bit. But I felt like these little
mindsets were only treating the symptoms of my shyness,
and not the real problem. But one late afternoon
something really magical happened to me. I found this old sheet of paper that had my dad's signature on
it, and my old teacher's signature on it. When I saw this, I
immediately had a flashback to my younger self, where I was standing in my old classroom and looking up at my teacher
who was yelling at me. She gave me a sheet of paper and said, "Your parents have to sign this. "It's a sheet of paper
saying that you were talking "too much in class, and it's not okay." I looked over at my friends and I saw that they were laughing at me. And then when I got home
and showed the paper to my parents, they got mad at me. So, it was my entire world
was either laughing at me, or getting mad at me for
talking a little bit too much, or just expressing myself
a little bit too much. Nobody ever calmly or
empathetically told me why I should not talk in class. It was always done in
a harsh and stern way, whether it's in a school, at a restaurant, or even at home, kids
are almost always told to sit down, be quiet and
behave like a good kid. And if they don't do this,
they are punished for it. And then years later, we
wonder why we are nervous to speak up or to put ourselves out there in some type of way. If you truly want to
get rid of your shyness and awkwardness, you need
to do two simple things. The first thing is simply acknowledge that you are not some
loser, or weird person for feeling those feelings. Because most of us were literally raised in a way to feel like this. And the second thing you have to do is something that I call gradual exposure. You need to think about the scariest thing that you can do socially, then slowly start working
towards doing that thing. For me, it was going up to
a random girl on the street and getting her phone number. So, I start off small. I would say, "Hey, what time is it?" Then I said, "Are you having a good day? "It's nice weather we're having, eh?" And inch by inch I just kep pushing myself more and more outside of my comfort zone. And after about a year of
doing this every single day I got to the point where I
could have that conversation without it feeling forced, or awkward. And if all that sounds like it's too much, then do something even smaller. Simply smile at someone, make
eye contact with someone, even leaving your house and
being around other people could be enough. Nothing is too small when you start off. But you have to figure
this out for yourself. I know this sounds incredibly cliche, but the journey of 1,000
miles begins with one step. If you consistently take
steps in a single direction, it's impossible for you to not eventually get to where you want to go. Trust the journey and believe in yourself. Check out my last video
about how to stop caring what people think of you,
and I'll see you there.
