How to overcome Shyness, Nervousness & Social Anxiety? 5 Tips to be more Confident | Public speaking

[Music] hola welcome back so guys there are many out there who really impress me but out of all of those shy people are the ones the ones who couldn't speak in public those who used to get very nervous amongst a group of or a bunch of people and these people when such people actually work hard on themselves and when they come out of their comfort zones groom themselves properly in a way in a way to become more confident and more strong and such individuals are the ones who really impress me a lot they not only impress me but they teach me much more than what they do after meeting and observing such people so i ended up meeting a couple of them they told me their tips and their life lessons that the way they had their and they commenced their journey to become the confident people that they were so today you have joined me mira on scalopedia where we are going to learn skills to overcome shyness and social nervousness or anxiety as they call it to become strong and confident individuals let's get started guys [Music] today i'm going to start with the phrase let your actions speak louder than your words now usually shyness is something that ends up restricting your freedom right so it could be freedom of actions it could be your body language when you're too guarded and too close and to shut where you shot people outside and that you don't let other people in you're in this method and with the help of this phrase we are going to try to do two things okay first we're gonna try acting acting to portray confidence with our body language something like the way you see in this image right so guys now social science and researchers has they have proven that when you take control of your body language even if it means to fake it for yourself so if i'm someone who stands like this but i learn to stand like this you slowly and eventually start believing in it and become that person and become that confident just by practicing to act and i think that's great work by researchers and indeed helpful now there's another thing that i spoke of confidence comes with practice i mean i still get butterflies in my stomach when i have to go on stage and perform in front of an audience well to think about it that's fine i do get butterflies you could get butterflies and social confidence is the same thing interact interacting with new people is the same thing you will feel nervous in the beginning but do not avoid these conversations just face them guys okay practice to stand and sit confidently even if you don't want to participate in the beginning just by being a part of it and not running away is going to help you a lot keep doing this until you overcome this particular part where you end up avoiding new conversations okay now in this strategy you will jump off the cliff oh no no no that's not what i would ask you to do literally you know that try new things is all i am saying overcoming shyness is all about getting out of your comfort zone just pushing yourself right out a friend of mine who used to go for therapy sessions was once advised by his therapist and she said and i will tell you that um i'll tell you what happened to him so he was such a shy person and a guy he was yes you heard me right he was he's not anymore he couldn't even talk to girls and he couldn't even speak in public in front of 10 people now during this therapy he was told to do something that made him super uncomfortable what was that that was dancing yes now he was made to join a salsa dance class right this got really extremely uneasy and uncomfortable for him imagine a state of mind okay so he can't talk to girls and he cannot dance and he's put in a couple's dance class now that is super crazy okay so of course his teacher knew about it so that was fine he made mistakes but finally and finally he completed two stages that's elementary and intermediate and did pretty decent so he had two in his final dance ask for a partner and then he asked a girl to become his partner for their small dance show he overcame his shyness to talk to a girl and slowly and steadily he did that do you would you believe if i tell you that today both of them are married that's true now since that day he believed and he started believing that stepping out of his comfort zone made him even stronger so all you out there just don't be afraid you will always learn new lessons from the new things you try okay even if you fail you have learned something right so join a book club um guitar club take on a difficult task or a project yeah learn a new skill if you want to like i said go for a piano class or a guitar class or karate even if you fail in that task you have one in getting out of your comfort zone it is a win-win situation you guys to move from shyness to learn something and becoming while doing these things do not forget your own voice right let your voice and ideas be heard for that you must practice talking don't be worried if people are going to like you or not or what you say or not so hear me out just there are 7.6 billion people in the world today it is impossible to make everyone happy or everyone to get to like you that in fact is a good news you can stop worrying about it right start practicing speeches jokes and stories maybe just first alone stand in front of the mirror the old technique copying someone while watching their videos is a great way to do such a thing and then grab every single opportunity that comes your way be more expressive at work with friends with strangers as well well don't be busy worrying if they're going to like your ideas or jokes just worry about your thing that is overcoming shyness right that's your first step so speak your mind and engage yourself you can do this nervousness and shyness should not hold you back okay and make you stay quiet right life is too short to keep quiet you guys so go ahead now think about it only superheroes need to like wear a mask so they wear one because they don't want people to know and to be frank i ask why not so that's the thing guys show the world who you are do not be afraid to showcase your own individual self the way you are the way you talk half of the time we pretend to be someone we are not just because you know people should like you and you want people to like us yourself i mean people are going to judge anyways no matter what you do so let them judge the real you and let them judge the real me instead right that means make yourself more vulnerable practice doing this with the people you trust that's how you can start and you are the people you're close to it is possible right that the more you act like your own self the closer you feel to others and the people you trust and you can really make stronger bonds and meaningful bonds with these people and this in itself will lead you to self-confidence and a sense of freedom freedom from be of of being yourself and freedom from being someone else a small example for you guys i used to hide uh from people that i'm not that good in mathematics you know i always thought that was shameful and that other people will point fingers at me and judge me for not being that good in mathematics so i was busy hiding that i'm bad at it the whole time and that took me a while you know a while to explore things that i'm good at because i was busy doing the other things and then when i actually started mentioning whenever required of course you won't believe it half of the people i met actually had the same problem and i couldn't believe it myself that they were bad in maths just the way i was but at least i was confident enough by then to showcase what i was good at because i had slowly acquired that right well that's what we want to do with ourselves let others see the real you just be real be you be genuine it's going to be fine and people will appreciate who you are at the end of the day try to work your way with small talks not everybody is born with social confidence right so athletes to get nervous footballers get nervous to be frank they have the whole stadium looking at them for a fixed minute you know for a fixed time span right so like 40 minutes 15 minutes and they are supposed to play a game but who says that you are supposed to talk for continuous 10 minutes in any conversation it's not a compulsion right so try and engage people in short and small sentences like hope you had a good weekend hey what's for lunch um hi would you mind if i joined you so yesterday's game was neck and neck right great performance you have raised the bar for all of us you're basically engaging everyone in small talks and you don't have to be conversing with them for a long period of time if you're standing in a line at a cash counter after you're done wish the person behind you just say have a wonderful day ahead something such a small sentence can actually boost your confidence right so if someone is sitting alone ask for ask for permission probably to join them may i join you or hey is this seat taken it doesn't have to be in a creepy way or a harmful way or not always romantically right but it can be a nice harmless gesture talking to strangers has so many benefits in itself you can make new friends even if you don't want to that's fine you have already put yourself out there and you have become more confident than who you are right so don't put this tag as forever shy just put yourself out there in the world first all these things will slowly enhance your social skills and kill your shyness till at a certain till a certain level making you charming and unique as a personality try to use these strategies and i am so sure that you will succeed in gaining confidence and social confidence right thank you so much for watching me here on scalopedia i will be back very soon with another interesting topic just for you guys until then keep practicing keep smiling this is me meera signing off ciao

Channel: Skillopedia - Skills for the real world

Views: 212,818

Keywords: shyness, how to overcome shyness, nervous, nervousness, social anxiety, meeting new people, self confidence, how to kill nervousness, stage fear, be confident, shy person, overcome shyness, how to stop being shy, how to be confident, how to be more confident, overcome social anxiety, life coach, how to, confidence coach, social anxiety disorder, social confidence, personal growth, personality development, social skills, life skills, public speaking, public speaking tips

Id: UYxn9DHRuDM

Length: 12min 54sec (774 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 12 2018