There's a question I've been wanting to ask you since we started, and I thought about coming in here, and I've been thinking about
in the weeks ahead of this, and I'm going to just come clean and say I don't exactly know
how to ask the question. Just ask it.
So, it's about relationships. Oh, do it, man. So I know in myself that my discipline is much
higher when it's just me, but that's because I had
certain things early on. But then I was a terrible student, barely finished high school. But then when I got
serious, I got serious, but I did that by staying
away from everybody. And anyone who's ever had
a relationship of any kind, but in particular romantic
relationships, knows that, yes, you can derive
tremendous support from those. Like, "You got this, baby. You can go." And you're like, "Yeah, I got this. She said I got this," you know? Right, right. Feels great to finish something
and share with someone, share a meal, you know, get the hug. But there's another side to all of that- Right. That I'd like to learn
more about from you, which is there's a warm body next to you in bed in the morning. You don't want to get up. They also have needs. You've got your mission that people sometimes need things from us, but also oftentimes the
people that love us most, that truly love us and
that want to support us, don't understand this thing. And they're the first
people to tell us like, "Listen, take a day off." And then this whole cycle, at least in my head, goes off like, you just want a vacation, and then it's almost like a paranoia. I'm not saying anything
nice about myself right now. Right, all good, man. Former girlfriends are
going to be like, "Yeah," like, you know, they remember. And so support of people
close to you is critical. This could be friends, could
be romantic partners, whatever. But they're also, the
knife cuts both ways. Yep.
It can be the thing that can really undermine this thing that you're talking about because the people that care about us also want to see us comfortable. Right.
They want to see us happy. They want to see us peaceful. They want to see us wake up
from a great night's sleep, and they want things too. Right. So how do you untangle that whole bit? Well, it's funny, man, I'm unbalanced, but I'm mostly unbalanced
towards the family side. People don't get about me. I start being unbalanced. I get all my stuff in. But what I do is I make sure that my family has everything they need, everything they need, those who want to be part of my family. Some don't. Some family members don't want
to be part of David Goggins. I get it, I got it. That's life. Those who are part of my family, I give them everything they need so they can leave me the fuck alone. I make sure you're happy as
fuck 'cause I got to go to work, and I don't mean smoke jumping. I don't mean running. I mean all of it. It takes every... I can't have you in my
fucking shit, can't. So I know for me to have a family, I got to make sure that you realize I'm going to
give you everything you need so when you start bitching at me, I'm going to say, "Look, hang on. I dedicated my life to give
you everything you need. I need this time right here
for me to be the best I can be because this journey
started without anybody." And I make sure everybody knows
that who comes in my life. I've been left... Think about it. I was left alone at a young
age to figure this shit out. I figured it out for myself and have been very successful for myself. No one's going to come in
here and fuck with my shit. That's why I make sure I will take care of whatever you need. Whatever you need from me, you got it, money, house, my love, my support. I'm going to give you everything you need. That said, I do it the
highest level possible, and I'm saying it with
Jennifer in the next room. So please come here and say something if it's wrong, Jennifer. I don't give a fuck. Say what you got to say. So then when it's time
for me to go to work, I expect you to do the same for me 'cause it takes every bit of
me to do what I have to do. So I make sure that I'm very
unbalanced for my family so I can be exactly that
unbalanced for myself. And that's how I do it. I let people know right up front I'm not what you want in a man. I guarantee that. There's going to be a lot of late nights, a lot of early mornings, a
lot of times where I got to be by myself thinking about the process that is next in my mind. I can't have aggravation. I can have this, can't have that. There's a lot of things,
but I let 'em know upfront. I'm very vocal about that. Sometimes relationships work for me. Sometimes they didn't. But that's who I am. One thing I did wrong
in my life was I tried for so many years to please people, and I did it at the expense of myself. I was leaving a lot in the tank. And when you do that, you stop living. But the person in your
life is happy as fuck 'cause you're giving 'em
everything they want. Their life is full, but you feel empty, and that's not a relationship to me. So for me, it's important
that you know exactly who I am because this is what life made. And I'm not trying to change it because I just figured it out. So I'm not trying to
compromise David Goggins. I will never, ever
compromise David Goggins. That doesn't mean I won't
give you what you need and what you want and what you desire. But I don't need money. I don't need fame. I don't need shit. So I give it all away. What I do need is to make sure that that willpower is
worked on every fucking day and every night for the rest of my life 'cause that's the one thing that's going to keep me feeding you, keeping you where you need to be 'cause once that willpower's
gone, 300-pound David Goggins, he may not look like it, but
I will walk around with it. So the things that are
important to you in life, you must do always, or you're nobody. And that's how I handle relationships. Amen to that. Something I could personally work on is that upfront, clear communication 'cause it resonates, that feeling of like there's something inside that's not getting worked out that when I'm on my
own, it's a lot easier. But then of course wanting
relationships and family, I think that's a healthy part of being human too.
Very. And obviously you've worked it out. So I appreciate you sharing that. I don't think I've ever heard you talk about it that way before. People are scared of that conversation with their wife, husband,
girlfriend, boyfriend. But why are you scared of it? Why are you scared to tell a motherfucker, your wife, your husband, who you are, who you are, exactly who you are? And that was a problem I had. That's a problem that a
lot of us have in life. No one knows who you really are. No one knew who I really was. I went to a school where there
were a lot of Black kids. A lot of Black kids didn't
want to be in special ops. I never talked about
special ops to Black kids. Why? I was wondering what... You know, I'm not going to fit in because that's not what they do. A lot of Black kids don't
do that kind of shit. So whatever I wanted to do, no one really knew the real me growing up because I never wanted
anybody to know the real me. I was always afraid of what you might say or how you're going to feel or whatever. You got feelings. You have a life that you have to live. So it's important that
whatever's on your mind, you let that person know. Therefore you're giving them the option to be with you or not. This is who I am. If you don't like it, that's good, man. I got it. But this is David Goggins. So that honest conversation
is very important, man, so everybody knows where they stand. That person may not be for
you, and that's all good. [MUSIC PLAYING]
