How To Manifest What You REALLY Want | Marie Forleo

this is your chance to say yes to you this is what this next chapter of your life can be and you have all the tools you need right now to bring it to life so manifesting is such a cool topic um it's something that a lot of people may have some resistance to if they think it's like a little too woo-woo and it's a little too passive and i know for me in my life i'm such a go-getting kind of driven girl that in the past i used to have my own resistance to it but as i've become older and a little more mature i've opened my mind and i actually do consider myself quite a good manifesto so for our audience can you define what exactly is manifesting manifesting is acquiring the experience of what it is that you want to feel and being and living and believing in that experience and then allowing that experience to come into form so not only the experience like say wanting to go on a vacation but even if you want something like a new macbook air you can manifest a new computer or absolutely or being a published author or having your business reach a certain level so everything falls into that everything falls in that category sometimes we manifest things far beyond our wildest dreams so sometimes if we have a vision of something it happens in a far greater way so we want to stay open yep so we can say i want that macbook air but maybe we get that macbook air that's a little bit bigger than we thought yeah or maybe it comes with an extra little gift yeah but allowing ourselves to be open this or something more cool so the way that i think about manifesting too it's it's also it's involved in the process of of creation or creating you know i consider myself an artist and a creator do you see like a distinction between manifesting and creating manifesting is very creative it is the process of using your power energy and being in that presence of your high-powered energy and allowing that energy to co-create with the energy that's around you so you're vibrating at a high frequency i'm vibrating at high frequencies we've done a lot of work we've cleaned up a lot of our own crap we believe in ourselves today and that that energy of believing in ourselves has attracted us together today and brought us into this space where we together are co-creating and teaching if i hadn't cleaned up my side of the street if i didn't believe in myself the way i do i would never have manifested being on marietv that's very true so i know i like to always believe that i'm co-creating with the universe because there i really believe there are no um such things as coincidences and i've had too many experiences in my life where i'm like oh my god that's what i wanted and it all seemed to line up and it was incredible so that's really part of what we're talking about here right is our ability to to play an active role but almost paradoxically a passive role in helping things that we want come into our life yeah there's a really nice line from a course in miracles which is the metaphysical text i teach and it is miracles occur naturally and when they're not occurring something has gone wrong that's interesting it's a good one right so what happens is that that synchronicity that flow that effortless action that just sort of allowing oh i was thinking about that and it just showed up that's how life is supposed to be we get in the way our negative belief systems our fears our anxiety our our anger towards the past that future tripping and projecting all of that energy gets in the way of allowing all of the miracles to occur naturally so this is awesome so what i like to do on marietv which you know because i know you watch this every week is to take this an idea or a concept and really break it down and make it super actionable so if someone has never heard of manifesting or maybe they have but they've been quite a skeptic and they're like this is bs this stuff doesn't work can you break it down like how how to manifest like what's the first thing that we should be doing so the first type of manifestation is to get very very clear and you know if we're not clear about what we desire then we can call in some really funky stuff yeah this is big and i just want to interrupt you for a moment because like one of the things that i say again and again when i'm working with clients i can help you get anything you want but you have to tell me what that is yeah that's it you know and the clarity is really it's that secret key because you're like a manifestation can opener if somebody gets clear about what they want that's really fun that's your new name oh that's not a new title i'm a manifestation can't over yes it's true because if somebody gets really clear about what they want your work is just releasing all the blocks and all the disbelief yeah and so if you're clear first and foremost you must be clear yep and and you must be clear because if you are unclear you'll start to call in some things that are not really what you want you'll be confused uh the other piece is that once you're clear you can also then get clear about all the ways that you don't believe all of the limiting beliefs all the negativity that might be blocking you oh this is good so let's use an example let's take it from the top so i know for both of us this is something we share um you're a published author i'm a published author and i know many people in the world it's one of their dreams to have their own book out on the shelf so i know you must have gotten clear at one point i am going to be a published author right so clarity step number one yes number two getting clear on everything that's preventing that right your limiting beliefs so yeah tell us some of yours when you first had that clarity well i often joke that i was a published author three years before i actually was a published author because i believed so deeply but of course there was disbelief and there was actually a period in my life where it was right when the recession hit my stepfather says to me i'm telling him all about my book that i wanted to bring into the world and he said to me well you know it's a really tough time it's going to be really hard because we've got resistors you know people just having a hard time with the realities of the world and saying oh well you're going to have a hard time getting your book published and i looked at him with so much conviction and so much faith and i said i believe in miracles i believe i am a published author one month later my first book was published so that faithfulness that that belief system is what allows it to come into the reality that we live but what we must understand is that i had done quite about a significant amount of work to release all of the limiting beliefs that i had been holding on to a limiting belief i have eighth grade english i have never written anything beyond eighth grade yes i had to teach myself how to write yeah so the limiting belief which i'm not a writer i don't know how to write that was a major one for me to overcome so this is great so we have step one and step two it's getting clear on the thing that you want and then also having the courage to really look inside and see all the limiting beliefs that can be holding you back from that okay good so and then clean them up and then clean them up okay awesome tell me so is that can that be as simple as as recognizing that it's a story you're telling yourself yes just simply doesn't have to be the truth yes the healing process of anything can just be the witnessing of okay that's not working that limiting belief is holding me back and when we wake up to that call of that's not working that's when teachers like you come into our life that's when books fall off the shelf that's when we land on marietv because we're tooling around youtube right so we are led to what we need to heal so the first point is just to recognize how you are blocking yourself and trust that the universe will give you exactly what you need to heal those limiting beliefs awesome okay so we've got our two steps is there a third step so now we're in the process so we're healing we're healing our limiting beliefs we're active we're engaged we're aware we're getting into the no we're getting into the note okay so step three step three is getting into the no no the universe has your back love that i think my mug says it the universe knows awesome tell me more about what that means so uh what happens when we get into the know is that we have released that we're working on releasing that disbelief and that's a daily process and the more we let go of that disbelief the more we begin to acquire the presence of what it feels like to be in that manifestation so the same way i was saying i was a published author i felt like a published author years before i was a published author i felt abundant even when i was scrapping to get by i still felt the presence of abundance which is allowed abundance to come into my life and i think that's probably the hardest part for all of us and i can i can almost hear our audience members you know again we're in 188 countries around the world so some people are going like okay that all sounds cool but if i don't have any money right if i don't have any resources if people don't believe in me what can i do on a daily basis is it just a matter of saying i really know this and just honestly having that leap of faith and saying i've got to stay in this state you cannot let your outside world dictate your internal condition the outside world will reflect your internal condition so if you are letting the outside stuff tell you i'm not good enough then you are manifestation mishap you are not allowing yourself to co-create so i'm gonna pause there just for a second a manifestation mishap which you guys know i love cute phrases for things a manifestation mishap would be uh thinking like oh i'm having this clarity i want to be a published author but what would the mishap be there if they were well but my outside experience is not reflecting that how am i going to get published i don't have enough and all of that is like really not supporting your desire got it so the most important point here is to not let the outside world dictate your internal condition your internal condition will support your external experiences so your work is to focus on the internal and i've done that in many cases in my life like you know picking up quarters to pay my gas money and in that presence of not having a lot of money i still felt abundant i did all that work to release my disbelief and in that presence of believing in my abundance i've allowed a tremendous amount of buttons to come into my life so we gotta hold the energy and let the outside world reflect that amazingness inside okay so another piece of resistance that could be coming towards us right now from the audience from someone saying hey you know what i've manifested before or i'm in this process but you know it's taken a long time i've been in the knowing i'm affirming but it's just ain't here yet what would you say to someone like that who is just going like when is it going to come when is this really going to happen the most important step in the manifestation process is patience and there's another beautiful line from a course in miracles which is those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait and wait without anxiety i freaking love this and i'm gonna make her say it again because it was that beautiful gab say one more time those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait and wait without anxiety love that so when we have that presence of being certain that certainty i am a published author that man is on the way i am abundant when we have that certainty we can allow we can be patient we can be in the know and another manifestation mishap when you're not patient is that you're controlling you're grasping you're manipulating and you're therefore blocking the natural order you're blocking the positive energy to flow towards you because you're vibrating a frequency of negative energy because you're in fear you're controlling and manipulating love that so this is all really good stuff can you give us a quick recap again our little manifesting how-to for anyone out there who's this is all new to them first is clarity i'm very clear about what it is that you desire so you don't call in some crazy crap love it the next piece is to be clear about all the limiting beliefs that are blocking you from believing and knowing that you are worthy of what you desire and that takes some courage it takes courage it takes some time and that willingness you just wake up and say i am willing i'm ready to have that guidance come forward and you'll be led to teachers like marie and then the third step is to be in that presence in that energy of knowing that you are ready to receive that you are in that presence of believing in knowing i am a published author i am abundant i am exactly what you want and having the patience and then the final step is the patience to be really relaxed released and allow and stay in the know letting the universe bring you exactly what it is that you desire it's awesome really really great stuff chapter 14 talks about the right and wrong way to manifest and i thought it was really awesome because again for folks like you and i who tend to then attract folks like you and i meaning very hard workers people who put their nose to the grindstone we get it done no matter what right even if you don't like the word manifesting just this notion of having more ease in your life of bringing things into your life that you don't necessarily pound your face against the ground for every single day until your eyeballs fall out so talk to me about a little bit of the the wrong way and the right way to manifest for those who may want a little more ease yeah great question so let me um draw a distinction between the importance of dreaming and uh the power of manifesting so dreaming in terms of not what you're doing at night but dreaming and giving yourself permission to desire things to have incredible magical things occur in your life giving yourself permission to let your mind body and spirit wander into the future and to imagine a life that really lights you up that's so important because those dreams are deeply connected to your soul like you you won't dream about something that's not meant for you i'm not dreaming right now about a uh penthouse apartment in new york city i don't want to live there right now so that's not going to come to me but you know when you allow yourself and your mind and spirit to wander forward and just allow yourself and give yourself permission to imagine what's amazing is you plant a beacon out into the future and that beacon whether it's a beach house or it's a loving relationship or it's uh healing past trauma or it's launching your dream business or it's just waking up and being happier and healthier and surrounded by all these amazing people whatever that dream is you gotta allow yourself to dream it because it acts as a mechanism that starts to pull you toward it and it it will pull you through your fear it will create tension in your life because it's going to make you start to wake up and pay attention to it that's where a vision board comes in and a vision board yeah most of us make a vision board and we put up the beach house or the range rover or the amazing log cabin or the trip to disney world or the dream business that we want whatever it is the things are that we want the loving relationship but then this is where we make the biggest mistake because manifesting isn't the dream manifesting is the bridge between where you are and where you want to go manifesting is the bricks that form the pathway that connect you there and most of us have been led to believe that we need to sit quietly and with vibrational force feel ourselves sitting on the deck of that beach house and how it's going to feel when the wind is in our hair and what happens when you do it that way is that you socialize your mind and body to the end when the fact is it's going to be a bazillion little irritating steps that get you there yeah i skipped that part so i love this i i just want to underscore this because when we were doing the everything is figure outable book tour and i did this event and i had people close their eyes and visualize themselves figuring it out whatever their their dream was we actually did that i was like i want to see i want you to see yourself taking those steps and i loved how you broke this down in the book i thought it was so great because yeah it's one thing to go yay we cross the finish line and there's the house or the relationship or the health or the trip or whatever right but to rehearse in your mind's eye emotionally visually intellectually seeing yourself doing the steps so if it's writing a book you know sitting at your table and maybe sweating a little because you don't think you're a very good writer but showing up anyway or getting up when the alarm goes off and putting your sneakers on and all of those different little micro actions even if it's a healthy relationship for me there's been times where if what i want to shift and change is a reaction that i've had to something seeing myself with the same situation that could trigger me in the past and visualizing myself behaving differently feeling differently watching it those are the steps that help me create that shift where it actually happens so i just wanted to praise you acknowledge you and underscore how awesome this is because your mind is so powerful our brains are so incredibly miraculous but we're not given the instruction kits on how to use them yes exactly so you know you want to launch a business visualize yourself telling your friends you can't come out tonight because you're going to work on something visualize yourself hitting that post and then feeling the fear that people are going to judge you when you start posting about something different than your kids or your dream vacations and you start posting about your business visualize yourself spending a saturday while the kids are playing soccer working on something visualize yourself hearing no and feeling discouraged and then picking up the phone and making the next phone call there's something called the zygarnic effect in your brain it's like a little to-do list a checklist that your brain keeps intact in your mind and your brain once you start to socialize your mind body and spirit all these little irritating steps like you want to run a marathon don't visualize a finish visualize yourself at mile 11 on a training run and it starts to rain and your earbud batteries die and you keep going yes when you do that what you're doing is you're smoothing out your resistance to all this work that it's going to require to make this stuff happen because you are capable you can figure it out and you can use uh simple tools backed by science to lower the resistance in your body and mind to actually doing the things that you've never done before hi marie i've been beating myself up because i haven't made a lot of progress in my business for a very long and humiliating time i finally discovered a huge reason that i'm not moving forward it's because i'm afraid of the trappings of success you see freedom is my number one value and i'm afraid that becoming successful will overwhelm me and take away my freedom instead of giving me more this fear paralyzes me and even though i'm not handling much right now i'm already feeling overwhelmed and tired any thoughts tips or tricks would be greatly appreciated shauna p.s uf and rock uf and rock too shawna so shauna this is an awesome question i know many people millions of people struggle with this including myself i've often had that same belief that more success could equal less freedom and it's not a great feeling to have and to help answer today's question i've brought one of my very dear friends dr kathy collot is here with us today and you're going to love dr kathy because not only is she amazingly smart she is an oxford grad but she is a metaphysician and manifesting consultant and what that means is she helps people create powerful lasting change in their lives and one of the ways that she does that is through working with the power of the subconscious mind oh this is so good woman this is so good thank you so much first of all happy to be here for being on marietv so um it sounds like shauna is having a little bit of trouble between what she consciously wants which is growing her business and it sounds like she has a fear of success is that what you heard definitely sounds that way right so we can we can hear the tension or the major conflict between her conscious goal building a successful business and her subconscious fears about how that might limit her freedom so kathy tell us why our subconscious minds have so much power over us well the reason is is it's estimated that approximately about three percent of your processing powers your conscious mind the rest of it the other 97 subconscious autonomic automatic you don't think about how you digest food you don't normally think about how you breathe all your habits go on automatic pilot so by far our greatest processing powerhouse is our subconscious mind scientists will tell you that the power of the subconscious is perhaps a million times greater of the consciousness than the conscious mind that's amazing a million times greater yeah and the point of that is not to say that your ego and your will are weak they are extremely powerful the point is to recognize that as powerful as they are there exists an asset within us that is even more powerful than that so that's why i work with the subconscious mind and why i encourage other people to get their subconscious mind on board in trying to make what they want happen in their lives we normally try to make what we want happen through our conscious determination and our ego and our sweat blood and tears right which is tough going as is and i'm very familiar with that which you've helped me with right so but especially when it's going over and against something in the other 97 percent it becomes a task of sisyphean proportions you remember sisyphus right the king in greek mythology who was punished to an eternity of rolling a boulder up a hill right only to watch it roll back down right so this is a version of what sean is experiencing her or her rather her conscious mind might be saying i want success right hopefully it is also saying i am worthy of success but if something in the other 97 percent say thinks otherwise i don't want success that's what she's going to be getting or manifesting at minimum she's going to find her somewhere on that sisyphean mountain trying to push her boulder name success up to the top or prevent the backslide so kathy if your subconscious mind is that powerful it almost seems like it's the boss and like shauna would almost need like her boss's approval to sign off on something that she wants is that right i see why you would say that because at a power a million times greater than the conscious mind it's clear who's going to win right right but the truth is that sean is meant to be the boss she's meant to be you know she's meant to manage this asset this most effective powerful and efficient employee by giving it good and clear direction so if you think of your subconscious as a computer right you understand that it's going to take its programming and run with it right and it's your job to make sure that its programming is in functional if not optimal alignment with your goals and you do this by programming reprogramming and debugging at regular intervals and in concert with those goals as you become aware of them as they change and so on so the great news is that once you get your subconscious on board that sisyphean mountain turns into a molehill much like instituting your habits you don't actually even institute them doesn't take a lot of thought doesn't take a lot of effort you just kind of do them that's the power of your subconscious mind and that's the power of the asset that we're all born with and your job as president and ceo of yourself and your life is to get the most out of this most dependable and capable employee that you will ever have at your disposal so it's it's much less about asking for permission than it is about gaining mastery and being adept kathy this is so exciting and i love talking about this with you so it sounds like that shauna really can get her subconscious mind in alignment with her conscious goals and i know because you and i have worked together and how brilliant you are that you give people very clear steps so can you share with us the clear steps to get your subconscious mind in alignment with your conscious goals sure so step one after you recognize the resistance is to be humble don't assume you know anything let alone everything about your resistance you want to trust the subconscious long enough to learn from it you want to trust that it is something intelligent and wise to say because it does uh shauna's for example is reminding her of her non-negotiable desire for freedom kathy i love that so in essence what you're saying is about listening to the wisdom that we can find in our resistance is that right okay awesome so what's step two so step two is to get specific what is the fear or fears exactly what are the associations with having or getting what you want what exactly is it that the subconscious is looking out for you want to interview your subconscious like you would anybody you're trying to get information from which is with genuine curiosity and compassion you want to let it make its case you want to hear its case because there is priceless wisdom and information in there for you so it's not enough for example for shauna to know that she's afraid of the trappings of success much less afraid of success in general she wants to know what trappings specifically what freedoms in particular does she think she's going to have to sacrifice for success is it more projects is it more people depending on her this will tell her more about what she wants so step two is to get details and applaud whatever you find applaud it before you judge it because you you know what you normally associate with you is by far not the smartest thing within you the next step step three would then be to make a promise right you want to set the intention to work it out with your subconscious not to work against it i love that so shauna's fear is saying to her look i'm afraid that if you become successful you're going to be tied to your desk you can be on the phone all day you're going to be even more stressed out and strapped out have no fun have no time for family and friends and love and everything else you want in life right shauna can make her fear not a non-issue by making a promise listen friend i hear you i understand what you're saying and i really appreciate you looking out if greater success means greater strain more exhaustion having less freedom and time for myself in my life i won't do it i will only do it if that's not what it means i promise and then of course she wants to be a good partner in crime for herself to rely on which means to keep her promise but in any case by making this promise you see the tension is dissipated right and it and makes space for herself and her subconscious to open up to the idea of success and to pursuing it kathy this is so delicious and i'm just i like want to eat you up right now what i'm hearing you say is through making the promise it's about honoring what is truly important to ourselves and making a commitment to ourselves to really honor that wisdom and honor what we truly want in our lives so what's step four step four is to get examples so evidently shauna's subconscious has a lot of negative examples about what happens when you become successful she wants to douse her subconscious and positive examples and case studies people whose lives have improved as a result of their success in business people whose freedom has increased as a result of their success people who have built successful businesses and have more time to do what they love marie it's a great example in this respect i mean it's part of the mission statement to help women live rich happy and hot right yes complete opposite of overworked exhausted and crushed by the weight of their duties obligations and desk yes so she wants to find examples can be people she knows people she doesn't know famous people doesn't matter the point is to let the subconscious know what's possible to let it know that it is possible to marry or to satisfy all sides of her heart and mind the subconscious will do anything that you tell it it's possible so the more examples that she finds and gives the more she encourages and reinforces the idea this is definitely possible and lets her subconscious know what it's working towards oh this is getting better and better do we have so we have one more step to go right one more step step five step five is to solidify and affirm so the more you ingrain your new perspective in your subconscious the more you can capitalize on its power and its resources to facilitate and even to execute towards your goal on your behalf which of course right means it's easier to materialize to manifest it to get what you want so a good affirmation for shauna is success increases my freedom in life i love that success increases my freedom in life right perfect for all of us and more than an affirmation because an affirmation right it implies a kind of i have to defend or i'm proving something and and so there's an element of doubt right you really want to think about it like a reminder it is a reminder it's a reminder of what is possible it will also serve as a reminder of the road the only road in light of the promise that she's made above that she is taking she wants to repeat it as often as feels good to her but before you fall asleep right before you fall asleep right upon waking and during after meditation are some of the best times to access the subconscious mind i love this you just told us how to completely reprogram or get an alignment our subconscious mind with what we want i think this is just genius and i just want to say a personal testament to your work that you and i have known each other for years i've worked with you in several different capacities but this stuff works i will tell you that i've worked with kathy on a number of different occasions and it is so amazing what happens when you approach yourself in this gentle way because that's one of the things that i really love about what you teach is it's not about fighting yourself and it's not about force or pushing through it's about gentle introspection and it's a really wise way to approach getting what you want um i just think it's genius yeah and capitalizing on the wisdom that exists within you with which isn't just your ego and your consciousness like you're brilliant there's a lot of power there there's a lot of intelligence there but you can also make use of of a greater amount of wisdom and insight that's within you too so that's why i work that way i love it okay so for everyone watching let's review from the top um our five steps to reprogramming is that as an okay phrase you call it yeah getting your conscious on board on board with our conscious goal so step one step one is to after you recognize is to be humble be humble awesome step two get specific get specific so we want to get the specific details about what that fear is and really interview our subconscious and know specifically what what those fears are step three step three is to make a promise so make a commitment to yourself that you're not gonna go there if it's going to mean all those bad things that perhaps you were afraid of you're only going to get the thing that you want in the way that's going to feel the best for you and it's going to be an alignment right step four step four is to find examples find examples exemplary examples exemplary examples i love that that's really key so really look around and we can look around to anyone whether it's figures in history someone we know someone we don't know you can even be the first example on this planet to do it that way and i and i really do encourage people to do so so that they provide an example for the rest of us very cool so that was step four in step five step five is to solidify and affirm solidify and affirm and you said some of the best times to do that are before we go to bed or after or before meditation yeah we're right upon waking awesome hey real quick if you are loving these tips then you are going to love my free audio coaching program even more it's called how to get anything you want and inside you're going to learn three proven steps to turn any dream into reality i'm not kidding go to marieforleo.com subscribe that's marieforleo.com subscribe go do it now and i'll see you there hi marie i'm just about to turn 19 even though i'm young i have big dreams problem is people keep telling me my dreams are not realistic and that i'm letting myself down i was going to be a doctor and then decided that wasn't really what i wanted now i want to be a professional event and party planner and grow my business into something huge that i can be proud of how can i get past caring so much about what others think should i play it safe and get a degree in something that has a secure job at the end of it what's your advice for young people just starting out in the business world there's so much i don't know in your youtube channel is really helping me thank you paige these are awesome questions and i think it's something that all of us can relate to no matter what age we are so the first thing i want to talk about is what you shared should i get a degree with a secure job at the end of it so little reality check for you my love those days are over there's really no such thing as a secure job anymore i think if you take a look around at what's happening in the world you go into any starbucks and you'll see some lawyers and some stock brokers networking out of there who would totally back me up on this page i know you said you want to start your own business and that's awesome but for everyone else even if you don't want to start your own business hear me on this entrepreneurship is a mindset that everyone on the planet needs if you want to thrive now and in the future the only people that are going to really make it in this world are people that will take initiative that'll take action and that think and behave like entrepreneurs and one of the first and most important things about that is getting real comfortable with not giving a flying fudge what other people think about you let me take you back in my own life i was only a few years older than you when i decided that i wanted to be a life coach now you got to get this this was back when no one even heard of a life coach those words life coach made as much sense to people as dream farmer or potato doctor and exhale you still getting baked turn your head and cough for me plus i was 23 years old i mean who in their right mind would hire a 23 year old life coach even i was rolling my eyes at myself the point is don't let anyone's [ __ ] opinions or judgments about what you can't do especially your own stop you from following your dreams you will never do anything great in your life if you've got this song stuck in your head [Music] [Music] they're judging you charging you judging you judging you [Music] paige you say you want to plan parties and events so get to it woman don't wait for people to give you permission or until you have some degree just find somebody who needs a party plan and plan the confetti out of it and then you do another and then another and then another and then all of a sudden mazeltov you are a party planner now in terms of education i am a hundred percent for education in fact i always advocate for people to be lifelong learners but don't limit your education to only what you can learn in the classroom you should consider getting a job or two with more established event planners so you can really learn about the industry from the inside out and then there's one more thing and this is my final and perhaps more important piece of advice you've got to be really conscious of who you surround yourself with you got to get rid of everybody who's negative and all the naysayers so if that means getting some new friends definitely do it and you also want to feed yourself some really positive things to your mind and your body and your soul day after day so i know you love marietv because it's a positive wholesome family kind of show and of course it's gluten-free so remember keep surrounding yourself with positive people in fact you should find some people your age and get inspired by them everybody knows i'm a huge fan of malala yousafzai who is your age page and there's also another incredibly inspiring young woman her name is tabi gebinson you can find entrepreneur groups in your area you can find them online the bottom line here is that with the right support and the right attitude and a ton of action you can create anything you desire if you've ever lost motivation because you're afraid your dreams are just too unrealistic this one is for you today's question comes from bree who writes hey marie you're such an inspiration i so respect your advice thank you here's my situation my whole life i've had big dreams and lots of ambition then this little word started to pop up from people around me unrealistic for example i wanted to work in publishing i was told that was unrealistic there were so many obstacles and so few jobs however i now work for the second largest publishing company in the world but there's a new dream i want to pursue and i can already hear the cacophony of voices in my head insisting this dream is unrealistic a certain level of realism is necessary but too much can create self-doubt so marie how do i handle not only hearing from others how unrealistic my dream is but also not let myself drown out my own desires thank you so much free i love this question so much brie every single one of us who both dreams and creates things faces voices of dissent both from people that we know from people that we don't know and very often the most deadly comes from within and if we don't take a thoughtful conscious approach to taking on our unrealistic dreams they just ain't gonna happen but if you are up for the challenge and i think you are here are five steps that can help step number one is frame your dream and here's what this means we can't become what we can't envision so when i say frame your dream what i mean is i want you to take a picture of it in your mind's eye in vivid specific detail and then what i want you to do is translate that picture into words meaning write down that big unrealistic dream and i know that you may have heard about the power of writing things down before but the truth is most people just don't do it which is so crazy because the research is conclusive on this there was a study done by dr gail matthews that shows that you are 42 more likely to achieve your goals if you write them down so what i want you to do is whip out your journal or hop on that keyboard and get writing step number two is filter opinions and fend off negativity you've got to take responsibility for the energy that you allow in your life i want you to fend off negativity as much as humanly possible you know we know so much more about the brain than we did just 20 years ago neuroscience has taught us incredible things like that our brains are continuously shaped by our thoughts and our experiences and you know this to be true i mean negativity is one of the most toxic forces on the planet it's toxic for your brain for your nervous system and for your ability to stay motivated so do me this favor okay do not solicit or listen to the opinions of people who are notorious for just being debbie downers the one mistake that i've seen people make consistently is they almost habitually talk to the exact person who is the most likely to shoot them down and make them feel like crap so don't do that and here's another key i want you to always always always consider the source meaning don't put a lot of stock into other people's opinions unless they're actually out there consistently taking risks and being brave and actually making things happen i mean if you think about it let's say i don't know you wanted to climb mount everest would you ever take advice from someone who's never even attempted the summit no of course not that would be crazy so don't take advice from anyone unless you really think it through and i want you to ask has this person achieved an unrealistic or impossible dream are they taking meaningful risks on a consistent basis do you admire who they are how they live and what they contribute if not do not use them as a sounding board for your idea step number three is flood yourself with positive examples so once you've removed the negative outputs as best as you can step number three is all about feeding your mind and surrounding yourself with positive stories on a consistent basis of other people who have achieved unrealistic dreams so think about helen keller for example who was blind and deaf by the age of two yet with the help of teachers she created this extraordinary literary career writing hundreds of speeches and essays and books and there are thousands of biographies at the library or even on netflix and the great thing that i love about biographies is you also get a chance to witness other people's stumbles and their falls and all the failures that they experience along the way which of course stumbles and falls and failures those are inevitable for all of us and you know it's worth noting that just about anyone whose achievements are worthy of a biography or a documentary probably had an unrealistic dream so do this for me feed your mind examples of people who speak out and stand up for what they believe in and make change happen step number four is fast forward so if you've watched the show for any amount of time you know this i love end of life studies and here's what we know for a fact when you're on your deathbed you couldn't care less about what anybody who says your dreams are unrealistic says i mean brony ware's research tells us this very very clearly that the single biggest regret people have when they're about to pass is this i wish i had the courage to live a life true to myself not the life others expected of me so brie my friend stop worrying about what other people might think or say about how unrealistic your dream is it really does not matter the only thing that matters is what you do about it now step number five is focus on action so this my friend is the most important step of all action is the antidote to fear and you don't have to take perfect action you just need to take any action brick by brick inch by inch step by step that is how all great things are achieved and you know my mantra i believe everything is figure out able and the best way to figure anything out is through action-based learning so one more thing before we wrap up bree unrealistic dreams are totally where it's at that's where all the growth and the excitement in life comes from after all what other kind of dreams are there dreams like this marie you will not believe the dream i had last night so reasonable i'm shopping i'm getting all my normal vegetables but they didn't have avocados i asked the manager he brought me some from the back so realistic so inspiring wow that uh sounds inspiring i mean you can do that i think i think you can make that happen sobery there you have it five steps to help you bring your unrealistic dreams to life and if you ever start to waver remember this tweetable [Music] if someone tells you your big dream is unrealistic that's a sure sign you should go for it it's marie forleo hi susan hooray yay so you're on marietv zach's with me and so is team forleo we are so excited to connect with you today oh my goodness wow so let us know your question and we will do our very best to support you okay i am just turned 50 and um i have been married for pretty well 35 years and i'm on my own for the very first time so i'm just contemplating careers and my two loves of life are horticulture and medicine and i'm trying to connect with my inner voice but i'm just having a real heck of a time doing that right now yeah so i just would like marie's help absolutely well first of all we are so excited i'm so excited about this particular question because i think for many of us especially when you were living life and you had this particular chapter and it was long and you were kind of doing things in certain patterns and then all of a sudden things are fresh and new it can feel difficult to hear that inner voice so i'm so thrilled that you're asking this question because you're giving voice to something that i know many many women and men can struggle with so a couple things i want to let you know that all of us can doubt our age at any time so it's not just about you turning 50 which by the way congratulations um young folks you know in our teens in our 20s 30s 40s 50s 60s 70s 80s i think that self-doubt is really a natural part of who we all are and it helps us ask those important questions so we can find that clarity so just one note about that and then i also want to say i'm really excited because 50 right now you're barely even at the midpoint mama you have got so much exciting life in front of you like really so i want you to take that in because it's true you know lifespans are expanding we're living longer we're living healthier we have so many more things that we can do in this one big glorious life so i want you to get excited because i know a lot of women in your age range and older and they many of them tell me like oh my goodness it just keeps getting better and better so i just want to set that frame for you as well that it's not on the down you know hill this is on the uphill you're still on your way up and the third thing i want to share with you i don't know if you saw this episode but after we get off this call please do me a favor i want you to google search marietv plus late bloomers we have this incredible episode where we've profiled these 10 badass women who started new careers new passions later in life most of them over 60 some in their 60s 70s 80s and even above that and i think you're gonna find not only a lot of inspiration there but a lot of hope and perhaps even some idea so that's that but i know your question was around how to find your inner voice and i want to give you a couple of exercises that i think will help one my dear how physically active are you right now like would you say that you work out every single day is it once a week talk to us about how much physical activity you tend to do at this stage well that's something i'm working on right now because in the past four years i've had my struggles with my um with my health and um i i'm at that point too where i'm regaining it and trying to get physical but it's one of those things that you know just making that first step is so difficult yes and i even though i know what importance it holds in all aspects even in my mental health it's still getting there yeah so i'm going to invite you to put that as a higher priority and i particularly love dance i feel like when i dance and it can be any music that you love it doesn't have to be a specific style of dance you don't have to follow choreography you can just move your body even if you put on two to three of your favorite songs in your house and you just let yourself move around with absolutely no self-consciousness no awareness of how you look just enjoying the music and enjoying movement the reason why i'm suggesting this for you is because i find that many of us are cut off from a lot of the wisdom that lives in our bodies and when we move we get that emotion in motion and all of a sudden a huge channel opens up to our intuition to creative ideas to all types of insights that i've found cannot be accessed any other way not through meditation not through talking not through writing not through anything else so i would invite you my love if one of your goals is to hear more clearly your inner voice and your heart's desire is to make it a priority to move that could even mean walking outside in nature if you like working out at home you know it could be just following free videos on youtube there's also wonderful apps there's so many different possibilities but for me movement is a must it is a must to hear that calling in your heart to be able to feel what this next chapter is going to be for you and then also to have the energy and the excitement to move towards it so that's piece number one okay the second piece and it's cool too because you're just using um this incredible asset that you already have which is this vessel called your body the second little exercise i want you to try is with a journal and with writing because i find that that's another vehicle to hear what your soul is calling for and the sentence stem i'm going to give you is something that we also did a marietv about and it's something that we use in our company and that i use when i set my own goals and when i want to reach higher the sentence stem is this wouldn't it be cool if so for you susan wouldn't it be cool if i got to spend some time studying medicine even if it was five hours a week wouldn't it be cool if i got to visit x y and z and again you can just keep finishing that sentence in your journal on a piece of paper and anything that pops up into your mind or heart even if it sounds outrageous even if it sounds ridiculous even if it sounds like something you have no idea how you would make that come to life please write it down for so many of us especially women our voices both exterior voices and our inner voices have been silenced for so long so it takes some unearthing to be able to hear it and one of the best ways to do that is to just let yourself go nuts on that page to let yourself dream wildly to explore all different kinds of possibilities and then to start to feel from the inside out which ones give you goosebumps which ones go oh i'm surprised that that came out you know what i might want to play there i might want to go take that class or make that phone call or look up something on the internet and see how i can bring that dream to life so between movement and writing and watching that awesome marietv episode about late bloomers i think that you are going to give yourself a real concrete next step to getting back in touch with that inner voice that's already in there that is longing to be heard i keep having arguments with it is what it is oh i like it yeah well you know what those arguments are social conditioning okay all of the years all of the voices both internal and external that told you that you can't that told you that women should be a particular way that told you you're not good enough or smart enough or talented enough or capable enough or whatever enough to have this dream of yours and so i lived it yes that's right so my darling this is your opportunity to get back in touch with the real you that has always been there and to break through every internal and external voice that has said no this is your chance to say yes to you this is what this next chapter of your life can be and you have all the tools you need right now to bring it to life yeah you are just reaffirming everything that i've been doing for the last couple weeks actually it's just too ironic synchronicity i think yes um yeah i i've been actually journaling for the last two weeks something i've never done in my life so yeah that's something new for me and it's really bringing me some insight as well um and also i started walking and yeah i've lost 20 pounds so far come on you're getting some confetti throws and you're getting some claps from all the team i'll add one more piece on to this please keep paying attention to what sounds really fun and what feels really joyful to you even if it seems fruitless like even if you find yourself walking and you come across a little store and it's like a five and dime and you go in there and you're like oh wow these stickers like oh my goodness these stickers i don't know why but i'm going to pick up these stickers because they look like fun and they bring my heart a smile or you walk down and you see a restaurant that you've never gone in before and something pulls you in there and you just want to have a little cup of soup because it feels like it'll warm your soul like pay attention to what draws you to it because i've found that there are certain things that we're attracted to that may not fit our picture of who we are or what we should like but those things that we're drawn to are tied to our deeper purpose and that's the adventure that you're on right now of learning how to reconnect with your desire and to activate and live through that so i'm really excited for you my love you just sounds she sounds so open to all the possibilities yes absolutely and i love that you're going to be dancing in your apartment yeah i think that's good i mean that to me grounds me all the time when i and i get in my head too yeah and when i just start dancing it's almost like a [ __ ] all the negative voices out there you know it's just like i'm dancing just to go in hell with them you know yeah no i like it yeah susan are you willing to play oh absolutely and yeah if i don't have to set foot into a gym hey i'm all for it yes there are so many different ways to get that beautiful body of yours moving and moving and moving without necessarily touching a gym i'm a mom of a four-year-old and i'm expecting my second child later this year god bless i'm a fan of your blog it's been very helpful in the process of adjusting my thinking toward business does being ambitious or wanting more success mean you are ungrateful for the current gifts in your life is it possible to be fully grateful for the current blessings you have and still pursue the six-figure income the fame the entrepreneurship etc with abandon want to know my answer do you yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes [Music] wait you know who else says yes [Applause] yes yes yes yes [Music] rico here's the reason why i love this question i'm so happy that it came up one of the biggest challenges that most of us go through when we're starting to explore spirituality and discovering the whole idea of being super grateful for what you have is we can feel guilty about wanting more it's almost as if oh i really have to just you know be okay with everything i have now which is great but it's human to want to create it's human to want to grow to want to explore to expand and take in more and i just want to make a little note here you know wanting more doesn't always equate to materialism it doesn't always mean toys you could want to touch more lives you could want to expand your ability to love so wanting more in and of itself is nothing that you should shy away from and i absolutely believe with my heart and soul that you can be extremely grateful for what you have and go balls to the wall with your dreams so i have a few strategies to share with you that will help you accomplish this in my lovely book called make every man want you how to be so irresistible you'll barely keep from dating yourself which by the way we're going to give you a free audio download missy just because you asked such a great question i talk about a concept called this is it this is it really means that you treat this moment like it's the most amazing moment of your life you look around in your world and you just make it the best it can possibly be so in short wherever you're at that's where the party is so if you find yourself standing in line at a bank and there's a really long line and everyone else is cranky this is it this is your moment so you're gonna party with it you're gonna hang out you're gonna have a great time talk to people on the line really appreciate where you're at but that doesn't stop you the whole this is it mentality doesn't stop you from having big dreams that you're also going to pursue so it's a matter of just finding that balance but you can absolutely do it and don't let anyone tell you that uh you're ungrateful for what you have if you have big dreams and ambitions so one more little note and it's about complaining this is a great way to just basically check yourself before you wreck yourself chickadee chickadee check yourself before you wreck yourself if you catch yourself complaining you've slipped out of the modality of being grateful for what you have and it's going to be really hard to really attract great things or be really ambitious or have the energy you need to achieve those big dreams so use complaining as a bit of a barometer if you find yourself saying oh this sucks my current client sucks my boyfriend sucks not so good stop it don't beat yourself up but just get back into the grateful mode and keep kicking ass toward your dreams so let's dive in what's your question how can we help you well um i work full time and knows i cannot retire for at least three years i also have a side business where i bake and sell healthy dog treats and i do want to write a book i mean i have to write a book because it's just there it's it's not going to go away so my question is do i work at my business uh so then i can retire in three years and then i can spend more time on a book or do i plug away at the book kind of do everything all at once and plug away a little bit at the book every every other day kind of thing yeah okay so this is a great question and i know for many of us especially when we're multi-passionate entrepreneurs and we have several things that we want to do and bring out in this world it can feel a little confusing so i've got some questions for you that'll help me better shape our answers and insights so they can be as helpful as possible so first one you said that you're not able to retire until about three years where you are right now and you imagine yourself retiring have you set yourself up financially where you're going to retire in three years no matter what yeah okay great so that retirement thing that's going to happen no matter what looking at the dog treats are you the dog treat business is it a situation where you're like wow this dog treat business has to go from where it is right now to like five times or ten times by the time i retire in order for me to put food on the table or is that just more of a dream it doesn't necessarily have to happen uh no it's going to happen i've decided i love you betty i like that clarity okay awesome and then in terms of the book why do you want to write a book tell me more about that um i don't know i just i keep thinking it's just it's in me it's it's not necessarily a want it's a need and what need will be fulfilled when that book is in reality relief tell me more um i don't yeah it's kind of hard to explain because it's like i feel i have something to say and i just need to put it out there and if people want to read it fine even if nobody reads it i don't care great so for you it's just about you have something to say and you want to get this out so it's not necessarily about the money it's not necessarily about the quote-unquote fame it's not necessarily about how many people read it for you it sounds like it's about the act of self-expression and doing this thing you know you must do from your heart does that sound about right exactly okay great so as you know the two choices that you have you can either hunker down get this book done give birth to it and it's like hallelujah betty's book is done and now you can move on with either retirement or the dog treat business or whatever else is going to come into your heart that you want to create or the whole act of doing three things at once which many of us do that's a very viable way to go as well meaning you're still working your full-time job you're chipping away at the book every day and you're working on your dog treat business so curious for you when do you come most alive when you have multiple things going at once or when you focus in if you look back in your life where do you get not only the most satisfaction but the biggest results when you focus in or when you have a ton of things going on uh i would say when i have a lot going on i can't sit still sure absolutely so does the notion or when you imagine yourself like if working on the book every single day even for for an hour and then also putting energy towards your dog business and working your full-time job does that sound like betty's dream life doing all the things yeah it kind of does it kind of does okay what's the not what's the part where you're hesitating well i really would love to get rid of the day job okay we know that we know that but the clock is ticking three years is not that long of a time and betty you sound like you got a lot of fire and a lot of energy in you so i'm not worried about you one bit so you just you wish you could retire a little faster is that what i'm hearing oh definitely okay okay cool i'm already taking uh actually i've uh this year i've we have a plan at work where i can take a little less salary and um it's called leave income averaging so i'm taking off from july 12th until september 6. amazing well you know i have heard that there are programs and there are people that help you write a book fairly quickly you know when i first started my career i remember i wanted to write a book very bad and i would go to these different workshops and um you know look at self-publishing look at traditional publishing and again this was like 10 or probably 15 years ago at this point probably close to 16 something like that and i remember coming across quite a different number of opportunities where there was like write your book in a weekend now i don't know if that was 100 true or that was the marketing but my point is it doesn't necessarily have to take you so long and if writing the book is something that you just want to make happen and you want to set that goal you strike me as the kind of woman betty that when you make up your mind to make something happen girl you are going to make it happen so one thing i want to suggest for you do some research online like get those little hands type and google it up and look at opportunities book coaches programs for wear or even a ghostwriter that someone could help you pull this book out of you and maybe within a month three months or six months you could be sitting with betty's book in your hand sharing it with everybody that you know that's one thing if you feel like it would be more joyful for you to just crank it out little by little then you should just start waking up early or staying up late whatever kind of sits with your body's clock and just start chipping away at this thing but i don't think you're conflicted when i'm looking at your question and i'm hearing you it's like you just need to hit the road and get it going and this job is going to take care of itself three years is going to go by like that yes wow he's gonna have a sequel before that yeah like book number two is going to be coming out yeah so um and you i know that you had written to us and asked about like maybe a dog book hell if you want to write a dog book woman do it but i think that you're clear and i think you just need to sit your ass down write that damn book and get this going yeah i think i think what i need is to have someone else say that to me yes well that's true for many of us i just want to say that like i will raise i love that betty's laughing right now but there's so many times in my life too i need somebody to tell me exactly what i know in my heart but why is it sometimes it's more powerful when you hear from someone else because i think in our like inner circles like everybody's always we're hoping they're gonna be on our side and high-fiving us but when it's from our outside circle you're like okay that's what i needed to hear even though it's been said the same way yeah you know what i mean absolutely so better yeah i need to i need to go i need to go by my own motto and it's like suck it up buttercup suck it up buttercup yes you just got some confetti thrown to you suck it up so it sounds like you're doing real good and it also sounds like you're going to be sending us a little follow-up email telling us about i don't know you're on like chapter 7 of your book and we want to see some pictures of those dog treats so that we can continue to cheer you on woman oh yeah well i've been posting a lot on twitter today yay at all right i love it when i read this chapter in the audiobook i was literally almost as i read it and i said to my team afterwards we need to re-record that they were like are you kidding me so let's see if i can get through this dreams don't disappear you were born with them and they are i could say i can't even get through this dreams don't disappear you were born with them and they are meant for you that means you take them with you wherever you go in whatever version of yourself you create so you might as well stop running and start leaning into them you might as well see and hear and feel all the clues of your life that it's trying to give you about who you're destined to be we are called in different ways to be the best and highest versions of ourselves we want to high-five marriage we want to be high-fived parents we want high-five friendships and a high-five career wherever there is a dream in your life trust that you can high-five your way to it and know that i'm still right here beside you and so is marie raising our hand in celebration with you high five my friend we see you we believe in you now it's your turn to believe in yourself and go make your dreams come true [Laughter] now look if you want even more tips on how to accomplish your dreams you need to watch this video next right now you're going to learn how to keep going for your dreams no matter what so go click on this video and i'll see you there today's question comes from mariah and she writes dear wonderful marie here's the sich i'm in my mid-30s god help me how did that happen

Channel: Marie Forleo

Views: 37,762

Keywords: Marie Forleo, Maria Forleo, personal development, personal growth, self-help, motivation, inspiration tips, inspiration, spiritual tips, self-help tips, be motivated, business tips, productivity, MarieTV, career tips, small business tips, tips for business people, tips for entrepreneurs, manifesting, how to get what you want, manifest anything, Gabby Bernstein, Mel Robbins, Dr. Cathy Collautt, goal setting, achieve your goals, law of attraction, manifest love, manifest money

Id: qay5Wc3ceGM

Length: 68min 7sec (4087 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 24 2022