How To Make Them Regret Insulting You (Put The Narcissist In Their Place)

if you have to deal with someone who is highly manipulative and always throwing in these subtle little Jabs this video is for you because in this video I'm gonna break down six responses to those insults that you can come back with in the moment especially when walking away doesn't feel like an option my name is Christina and this channel is dedicated to helping you recognize and deal with the after effects of emotional abuse in your life and if this is something that has touched your life I have a free download in the description that you might find helpful this download can help you do some Reality Checking and sort out the truth when there's a manipulative person who is trying to distract you from the truth so let's just jump right into the six responses that will make anyone regret insulting you so the First Response does not come in the form of words but it's more your demeanor it's really important to remain calm and this one will set you up for any of the other responses that you find appropriate for the situation so usually an insult is going to get you fired up right it's gonna make you want to shoot something back or it might make you want to Fawn or Retreat depending on what your personal style is but doing either of those things is probably going to result in one of those moments after the factory end up kicking yourself saying I shouldn't have said this I should have said this so if you have somebody in your life like a narcissist or somebody who's constantly they're always triggering you and throwing out these subtle covert insults these tips are really going to help you prepare for that as we say respond don't react keep your emotions out of it and one way you can do this is by understanding that what they're looking for is an emotional response so when you go into these conversations you're going to be paying very close attention to your emotional response why because that's what the other person is doing when you get triggered you're not paying attention to what you're doing so much you want to just hurt the other person and you're going into either attack mode or defense mode but you're not really paying attention to what's going on here make no mistake about it the other person very much is so if you want to win at this game whatever this ridiculous game is that the other person is playing you really need to keep those reactions in check and pay close attention to what you're feeling and experiencing in your body when the other person is speaking make no mistake about it it is intentional they are trying to make you feel whatever way you're feeling and so if you feel it and react on it they're getting what they want there is another option you can feel it acknowledge it refuse to take the bait refuse to be manipulated in that way and remain calm yet assertive okay so the next five responses I have for you are very much responses these are things that you can say and do when someone insults you in the moment one thing you can do that is extremely powerful is ask them to explain the insult and this works really well with insults that are more cryptic and a little bit more availed or covert if you ask them to explain the insults then they have to actually either own up to the fact that they're insulting you or backpedal and step away from the insult pretend like they were just being nice and maybe it came out wrong but either way you win because if you've ever heard somebody have to explain an insult it's like listening to somebody who has to explain a joke it doesn't work very well and even if they double down and they continue to insult you it just makes them look worse I'll give you a funny and embarrassing example for my own life that I probably shouldn't share but I'm going to share it right here so you know how when someone says I'll see you later and someone else almost inevitably will say not if I see you first okay so here's the embarrassing part the for a really long time I didn't know what that meant and I think there are two reasons for that one I thought it was like more profound I thought it meant something more than what it does and two because whenever people say it it's usually with a friendly Vibe the vibe doesn't really match the message but finally someone spelled it out for me and they said if I see you first I'm going to hide so you don't see me and if you think about having to spell that out it sounds really mean right it sounds so much worse when you explain what it means then you just say it off the cuff and that's exactly how this works because if somebody says something off the cuff that's actually meant to insult you it's meant to hurt you and you ask them to explain what it means they're gonna have to explain the insult to you and some people will but rest assured it will make them look worse it will only make them look like a bully so that response will will make someone instantly regret insulting you especially if it's in front of people if it's in front of a crowd but it doesn't work for every type of insult so let's just say somebody just bluntly says something really rude like you're ugly or you're stupid you could ask them to explain that you can say what do you mean by that and that sort of volleys the conversation back into their court and then they will have to say something so it's it still can work but it might not always be the most appropriate response to whatever insult is coming at you so with direct insults like this one thing you can do is just point out subjectivity so if someone says you're ugly if someone says you're stupid if someone says you're a loser whatever insult they have if it's blunt and direct you can point out that's subjective I guess that's your opinion I don't really agree or that's obviously what you think but thank goodness not everybody else does or you can say you seem to be the only person who thinks that of me and the key here in making them regret insulting you is that it doesn't land it'll be obvious they're throwing cheap shots and it's not working you are just going to push it back and deflect it back to them let them have it back it was never yours to begin with usually when someone insults you it's not even personal it has more to do with what they have going on than anything that you did or anything that they even think of you oftentimes it's even projection it's things that they're insecure about and they're projecting them onto you so this next response that can make anyone regret insulting you is a really good response for criticism so if someone is being really critical of you in the moment you can use the yes and response so you can accept the criticism right criticism is not going to kill us we can accept criticism even if it is done with malicious intent right maybe it's true maybe somebody says hey you know what you're really slow can you pick up the pace it might be true maybe you're taking your time with something and that's okay just because somebody says something in a bad way doesn't mean it's bad and again this goes back to subjectivity so if someone says you're really slow you can respond to yes and taking things a little bit more slowly helps me pay attention to details so that I can make sure I'm not overlooking anything someone who's criticizing you like this their point is certainly not to give you something that you can spin into a positive about yourself but hey what if you can that would definitely make them regrets insulting you this one also works really well when you want to be a little bit more passive so if maybe you're talking to your boss sometimes there are things that you can't really say or you could risk getting fired so if they're insulting you you can use the yes and and in those times when you do need to actually change something the yes end works too yes that's right and I'm doing XYZ to work on it and make it better because really when someone is insulting you or if there is criticizing you in an extreme and really seemingly non-productive way they're trying to put you on the defensive and when you start start defending yourself if instead of saying yes and you say yeah but then you've already lost that conversation and that's when you're gonna have all those moments later on where you're thinking I should have said this I should have said that I'm not saying that you should never defend yourself but if you're in the habit of always going into defensive mode when someone is actually being insulting and trying to hurt you it's probably not serving you very well so the next response that can make someone regret insulting you is the if then statement so let's say someone insults your personality oh my gosh you're just you're too much tone it down the response to that could be something like well if that's true if I'm too much for you then the reverse must also be true you're not enough for me and one if then statement that works for pretty much anything is if you were trying to hurt me with that you failed you're gonna have to try harder it didn't work this time that's usually when the abusive person who's insulting you will backpedal and try to make it look like you're blowing things out of proportion no no I wasn't trying to hurt you I wasn't trying to insult you and to that you can say something like oh good then we're on the same page with this particular if then do not fall into the Trap of trying to defend your if then statement just leave it where it is and move on and the next way that you can make someone instantly regret insulting you especially if there are other people around is called a pattern Interruption so you're in a conversation maybe it's a little bit of a heated debate or maybe it seems surface level fine but you have a history with this person and this person has a history of triggering you right so they say something intentionally to hurt you they say something insulting to you and it's pretty obvious so you can use any of the responses that we've already talked about and then move into the pattern interruption so that's when you say something nice not easy to do when someone just insulted you but it's highly effective so let's say someone insults you and you ask them to explain either they'll double down on the insult or they'll backpedal I find most of the time especially if there's an audience unless you're dealing with somebody who's extremely grandiose and very overtly abusive they'll usually backpedal because they know that explaining their insult is going to make them look like a bully so from here the pattern Interruption is to bring up something positive so maybe you congratulate them on something they did well or thank them for something that they did for you and the secret to making this one work is that you are going to do it with confidence you are taking control of the conversation and you're making it very clear that you not them are the bigger person this not only serves to put you in a more positive light to anyone who might be seeing conversation but it also will absolutely throw that person way off because that is probably the last thing they'll expect now it shouldn't be the last thing they expect because people who are highly abusive and manipulative will use the pattern Interruption to throw you off when you're upset about something and you're trying to hold them accountable but this is one of those tactics that you can completely turn around on them and you can use it very successfully because after all you're complimenting the other person in some way or thinking them showing gratitude and in doing so you're throwing them off their game and you're Shifting the tone of the conversation because it's really hard to get back to the insults after someone has complimented you certainly some people will do it because they don't care what other people think or how other people view them but people who do care about appearances and don't want to look like the bad person in this conversation are going to change their tune after or pattern Interruption so the reason why these tactics work is because it pushes back on what the narcissist or the abusive person the person insulting you is expecting if somebody insults you they're expecting a reaction and you are responding but you're not giving them that strong reaction you're not showing emotion you may even in some cases be validating what they're saying and taking your own spin on it and that definitely will take the wind out of their sails because probably in the past they were able to manipulate you in that way they were able to get you to jump into defensive mode or attack mode just with a simple insult but if you can maintain your composure and respond appropriately you're going to show the narcissist that you are stronger and if you are dealing with a narcissist in your life and you're wondering what's gonna happen next now that they know that I'm stronger now that I am getting to the point where I am too strong for them to reach what happens I talk about that in this video right here

Channel: Common Ego

Views: 36,425

Keywords: narcissistic personality disorder, narcissistic abuse, covert narcissist, narcissistic parents, reactive abuse, reactive abuse narcissist, gaslighting, gaslighting abuse, covert narcissism in relationships, narcissistic abuse cycle, narcissistic supply, regret insulting you, make them regret insulting you, regret insulting, narcissist reactive abuse, insult comebacks, after insult comeback, put a narcissist in their place, when you put a narcissist in their place

Id: 9GM30Qvullw

Length: 13min 44sec (824 seconds)

Published: Tue May 23 2023