How A Narcissist Reacts When You've Become Too Strong! 💪

being in a relationship with a narcissist is kind of like being locked in a high stakes poker game you never know when they'll Bluff raise the stakes or reveal their true hand so you find yourself constantly walking on eggshells never really knowing exactly when they'll lash out or make you feel small just knowing that they will but as you start to see through their manipulation and play to your strengths The Narcissist will eventually realize that you've gotten too strong for their games so so what's their next move well they have at least seven so let's talk about them all right now first they'll downplay your strengths and their own weaknesses when the narcissist sees that you're growing stronger and more independent they'll attempt to undermine your confidence by downplaying your strengths they might say things like you think you're so clever but you're not as smart as you think you are or you may be good at your job but you'll never know what it's like to play at my level so why do narcissists do this so consistently well it's super convenient for them when you doubt yourself and your own abilities because if you were to recognize your own strength you would no longer be vulnerable to their manipulation and by diminishing your strengths they hope to maintain their power and control over you because that is what's most important to them in the end and so all the while while all this is going on they're also downplaying their weaknesses and their abuse so if you point out their flaws or hurtful Behavior Behavior they might say something like you know nobody's perfect or you have just as many issues as I do don't act like you're better than me they'll never acknowledge their weaknesses or admit to their mistakes because that would mean giving up some of their power and control but remember you've gotten too strong for their games keep playing your cards right and remember that you have more power than you know and just to reinforce how common this type of thing is let's look at a comment from one of you who dealt with a narcissist two would always downplay their abuse and I hope you're sitting down cuz this one's a doozy after 24 years I found out narc was cheating for over a year with a mutual friend right under my nose when I flipped out narc said oh please don't tell me you're going to make a big deal out of this this has nothing to do with you why can't I have a pet okay so that was a little gross and I'm sorry that that commenter had to deal with that for those of you who don't know me my name is Christina and I'm a narcissistic abuse recovery coach so if you have been through the phases of narcissistic abuse and you feel like you need some extra support to go no contact break the trauma bonds and ultimately get your life back after this experience check the link in the description for more on one-on-one coaching with me so now let's talk about the second move in the narcissist's Playbook they'll make you feel unworthy so as you start growing stronger and more independent they might say things like you're lucky to have me because no one else would put up with you or you're so needy and clingy it's pathetic the narcissist wants you to believe that you're not good enough for anyone else so they want you to believe that there's something inherently wrong with you and that you should be grateful that they're even giving you the time of day and so here's why they do this because if you were to start recognizing your own worth you might actually realize that you deserve a whole hell of a lot better than their abusive behavior and so what happens when the narcissist can't quite get you to buy into that false narrative that you are unworthy well they're going to try and convince others that you're just not a good person so they might gossip about you behind your back telling mutual friends or family members that you're crazy unstable or just plain Difficult by making others question your character they hope to isolate you from your support system and make you more dependent on them but here's the thing you actually are holding the winning hand even if it doesn't always feel like it so keep playing cards right and trust that you have the strength to come out on top faith in yourself in these difficult times is so important so do what you can to try and keep that up and here's something one of you in the comments heard often from The Narcissist in their life good luck finding someone as patient as me you're lucky you met me and not a different less patient partner and when you really start to unpack that it's wrong on so many levels so I want to ask you what do you think the narcissist was was trying to say here what message were they sending let me know your thoughts in the comments All right so let's get into the next move the narcissist might make when they realize you're on to their game they'll switch up their tactics so remember when you first met the narcissist yeah I'm talking about all that love bomy stuff they couldn't get enough of how confident successful independent you were until they realized that they couldn't control you suddenly your strength becomes a problem for them because you're not falling for their manipulation anymore so they switch up their tactics The Narcissist might start becoming more hostile picking fights over the smallest things or giving you the silent treatment for days on end have you been there what they're trying to do is throw you off balance to make you question yourself and your actions or they might go the opposite route and become aloof acting like they couldn't care less about you or your life they'll stop showing interest in your hobbies your friends your Dreams Just you in general and they're hoping that by withdrawing their affection you'll start chasing after them again see this is where the confusion about no contact comes into play because there are tons of videos from relationship coaches who actually advise going no contact to get the other person to come chase you and basically that's what the narcissist is trying to do when they start withdrawing from you they want you to chase them harder but the truth is none of this has anything to do with you personally the narcissist is kind of like a chamele and they change their colors to blend in with whatever suits them in the moment but here if you're in this place where you've gotten stronger right and the narcissist is just starting to see it the cards are in your hands if you're watching this video you have already seen through their tricks and their Bluffs so keep playing that hand with confidence knowing that you have the power to control how you react to the narcissist's behavior you cannot control their behavior but you can control how you react to it so choose to prioritize your own wellbeing and refuse to engage with their nonsense so now let's look at a question from one of you that I'm sure many of you share do they know they go in and out of jackeline Hyde why do they act like they can't understand how they're acting no matter how you try to explain their behavior to them guess they want you to think that they can't help themselves or they don't understand so you'll give them a free pass and the answer is yes they know it may not be as calculated as it seems in hindsight but they definitely know what they're doing the thing is they just think they're Justified which is the scary part and the reason they won't admit to switching up their behavior is because it doesn't serve that narrative that it's you that's the crazy one so now let's talk about the next move in the narcissist Playbook they'll make you doubt your strength it's like they have a sixth sense for your insecurities and they'll zero in on them with laser Precision so they might say things like are you sure you can handle that job or you think you're so tough but I know deep down you're just scared and weak the narcissist wants to make you feel guilty ashamed fearful inadequate or insecure or maybe all of the above because they know if they can get you to doubt yourself you'll be much easier to control and the worst part is they're really good at it you might start wondering if you're really as strong as you thought if you can really trust your own perceptions and if you can trust yourself at all but if you're in this place and you're feeling all of this right now and you're having all these doubts right now please know that this is just another one of the narcissists manipulations they're not pointing out your weaknesses because they want you to grow they're doing it to keep you under their thumb so whenever you feel those doubts creeping in remember your strength is what scares them it's what threatens their control and every time you stand up for yourself every time you hold on to your truth in the face of their lies you're proving just how powerful you really are and here's a comment that comes along with some great advice for anyone going through this this commenter says gaslighting when you have an autistic memory it drove him nuts he would say he hated my memory I screenshotted everything I did and found to look at when I started to fall for the lie and doubt myself trust your own mind folks trust your memory and your perception no matter what others say so of course naysayers will say well you're not always right your memory is not always 100% And for most of us that is very true but if you notice that one person in your life is is always making you feel like you're crazy or you have a terrible memory it's probably a problem with that person and not your memory so now let's talk about another move the narcissist might make they will double down on control so at the end of the day everything The Narcissist does is about one thing control they need to feel like they're pulling the strings like they've got you right where they want you so when they see you growing stronger more independent more sure of yourself that's when the narcissist will kick into high gear doing whatever it takes to gain that power so they might ramp up the manipulation telling you how much they love you one minute and tearing you down the next they might get more aggressive maybe yelling at you or even getting physically intimidating or they might go the opposite route and withhold affection giving you the cold shoulder until you're practically begging for their attention it's all about keeping you off balance making you work for their approval and validation and the thing is it's easy to fall back into Old past patterns when the narcissist starts pulling these moves you might find yourself slipping into the people pleasing mode doing whatever it takes to keep the peace and avoid their wrath but remember every time you give in to the narcissist attempts to regain control you're giving away a little piece of your power so when you feel the tug of war starting up again take a deep breath and remember how far you've come because every time you're able to stand your ground you're sending a powerful message that you are not upon in in their game anymore and you never will be again and for those of you who don't feel safe or comfortable standing up to the narcissist in your life standing strong within is powerful too you're still sending the message that you're not upon in the narcissist game anymore but you're sending it within and it's needed here too and here's a comment that clearly illustrates how a narcissist will try to change other people's opinions of you she breadcrumbed me and played games with my emotions for a number of years years until I finally fell in love with someone else when she learned of this and that she had lost control of me she went through my social media page and tried to sprad all kinds of salacious lies and stories about me it was the most humiliating thing I have ever experienced so now let's explore another move in the narcissist's Playbook they'll try to isolate you from your support system so here you are gaining strength and confidence and the narcissist is starting to feel the heat they know that a big part of your power comes comes from the people who have your back your support system so what does the narcissist do they start trying to cut you off from them they might tell you that your best friend is a bad influence or they might say that your family doesn't really understand you not like they do right the narcissist is the only one who understands you and the narcissist might even try to create conflict between you and the people you care about they'll twist your words make up stories or even outright lie to drive a wedge between you and your life loved ones and why do they do this because they know the more isolated you are the more dependent you'll be on them it's a really awful thing to do to somebody but unfortunately it can be very effective because when you're cut off from your support system it's easy to start doubting yourself to feel like the narcissist is the only one who really gets you but in all of this your support system is one of your greatest strengths please remember that so when you feel like someone's trying to pull you away from your loved ones that that's a good time to lean in closer reach out to your friends and family even if it's been a long time even if it feels hard and if you feel like you safely can share what's going on ask for their support and for their understanding it really does mean a lot and most importantly trust your gut if the narcissist is telling you that everyone in your life is wrong or out to get you that's a huge red flag your people are your people for a reason don't let anyone take that away from you so now let's look at a comment from one of you who overcame the isolation don't let them love bomb you again and give you crumbs work on yourself as soon as I got sober meeting new healthy friends after they isolated me from my old friends my happiness was like a gut punch to the narc their rage increased as I got happier and stopped arguing and defending myself all right now let's dive into the next move in the narcissists Playbook once they've realize that you're getting too strong for them what will they do I know that so many of you have dealt with this before they will rewrite history so there's a little overlap here with this one and one that we covered before that had a lot to do with gaslighting but this one we're going to talk about in a little bit of a different context so gaslighting is an allout attack on your sense of what is real and true and rewriting history is a big part of that but I know that there are plenty of you out there and I've experienced this too who have dealt with a narcissist who is rewriting history and you know that they know full well what they're doing and you know what the truth is and you're not letting go of it so it is maybe they're trying to guess let you but it's completely ineffective but the problem here is that they will start rewriting history to everyone who will listen so maybe there's just a tiny little nugget of truth of something that happened and they will blow it way out of proportion and actually fabricate most of the story but there's just that little tiny nugget of Truth so maybe you were in the same place at the same time but this series of events that took place that the narcissist is saying just simply didn't happen and the problem here is that if people know that part of the story is true they're more likely to believe the rest of the story and this is something that happens often when narcissists feel like they're losing control of you and the narrative so it's kind of like they'll take the situation that actually happened right and you have all of it all of its parts and pieces and they'll leave in this stuff that's neutral right like that stuff's true that happened according to the narcissist and then they'll start subtracting the things that paint them in a negative light and then they'll add a few dashes of things that paint you in a negative light and so in the end it's a completely different story than what actually happened but there are little tiny little grains of Truth in there and what's really crazy about all of this is that they'll tell this part of the story they'll tell this fabricated version with such conviction that you can pretty well tell they're starting to believe it themselves even if you no there's no way they could possibly believe that this is true you definitely get the sense that they are drinking their own Kool-Aid and that's a little scary because when they go out there telling other people you can see how convincing they're going to be and unfortunately this one overlaps with this smear campaign and the best thing you can do is stand in your integrity and hold on to your truth we can hope that the people who really matter to you will be on your side and that the truth will eventually come out and here's a comment from one of view that perfectly illustrates how exactly a narcissist will rewrite history it's funny I discarded him then he turned around and said that he was done with my crazy ass he always has to have the last word and feel like he has the upper hand at the time I had no idea he was a narcissist but all the red flags were there yeah that sounds like a typical narcissist tantrum it's kind of like someone saying you can't fire me I quit but if you're in this place right now and you're dealing with this we can't underestimate the impact that this can have on you and there are definitely varying degrees of smear campaign that you can go through and in some cases everyone believes the narcissist and believes the lies and in some cases nobody does but it still hurts so if you are struggling with the smear campaign there's a video that's going to pop up on the screen that's going to help you deal with the narcissist and those people who act as flying monkeys for them so give that a watch and go ahead and hit that like button if you haven't already before you go and I'll see you next time

Channel: Common Ego

Views: 33,114

Keywords: too strong for the narcissist, narcissist too strong, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic personality disorder, covert narcissist, emotional abuse, narcissistic abuse cycle, boundaries with narcissist, how to win against a narcissistic person, when you win against a narcissist, outsmart a narcissist, outsmart a covert narcissist, narcissistic abuse recovery, beat a narcissist at their game, beat a covert narcissist

Id: hhPWujMTbHs

Length: 16min 56sec (1016 seconds)

Published: Tue May 14 2024