HOW TO LOVE- Session 3. HOW TO LOVE A WOMAM - PERISCOPE SESSION @RC_Blakes

session three how to love a woman most men don't know most men believe like I believed for so long that that woman right there with all of those hearts and those fingers pointing my wife that uh you know I was supposed to love her from a physical perspective I I watered I watered my concept of love down to sex because it was all I'd been taught it was all that had that society demonstrated and you know it was what I bought into only to discover that it was empty it was void it was insufficient and then you grow up hopefully as a man you grow up in you mature and you realize that making love to a woman's body is not the deepest part of her if you want a long lifelong marriage if you want a relationship that is truly fulfilling for you and her you have to learn how to make love to your wife's soul you have to learn how to touch her in places that are beyond the surface real men know how to make love to their wives Minds let that sink in because one of a woman's greatest needs is is not sex now she enjoys sex you know all things being equal she enjoys sex hopefully praise the Lord hopefully your wife enjoys sex but that is not that is not her greatest need as a woman her greatest need as a woman is to have a sense of security and stability in the arms of the man she calls husband and when you search that word out it simply means the one that holds everything together so to be to be a to be an effective husband requires more than having sexual experience or sexual capacity or virility because those things fade with time they really do give yourself another 20 years it won't be the same and beyond that beyond that it just won't be the same but you have to know I had I had an interesting experience check this out I had an interesting experience it was um I guess this had to be six seven years ago I was flying and I was flying private and the guy that owned this plane was he was old not old old but he was older older you know and I won't call the number so as not to give anybody a complex I'm 51 and he was older than me let's put it that way and this particular day he you know because I don't like flying in a private plane with one pilot so this particular day he had his wife with him who is also a pilot and he said Reb I'm bringing my wife today I said well praise God and he said she's a pilot as well they had been married you know 30-plus years maybe it may be close to 40 and I noticed something while while they were flying they were holding hands and laughing and having conversation and she was looking and grinning at him and he was grinning at her and they forgot I was even on the plane and then I thought about how many young couples don't have a don't maintain if they ever had that kind of connection it's because this generation of men my generation and this current generation of men we've really not learned how to love our women properly now when you look at Adam you know if you just really meditate on Adam and Eve you can learn a lot just by meditating on what Adam did and what he didn't do and one thing you will discover about Adam is that Adam had everything needed to excel as a wife when he came on the scene Adam had everything in place he had a house he had a job he knew his purpose he had a relationship with God he was so complete that when he saw her he was even able to speak into her life he said your woman he knew she was he even provided spiritual leadership for that woman being the man is about more than being the boss in fact that's not really what it's about at all it's about more than making babies it's about more than making your wife's body feel a certain way you have not done your job in loving your woman right until she feels a certain way in her mind in her soul you ought to you ought to love that woman so deeply and so completely that she can think about nothing beyond God nothing beyond you to get past God she ought to be the first and last thing on my mind now let's get into it a few things I want to just share with you tonight and I'm gonna run through them because I'm not gonna be only 45 minutes tonight y'all saw my wife ran me off last night what she needed to cuz I was sleep talking last night I don't know what I was saying on there last night so if I said some crazy y'all forgive me praise the Lord I was sleep talking number one you must love her sacrificially foolery ghost announced on my woman you must love her sacrificially you must love your woman sacrificially to be the man there is no place in manhood for selfishness to love your woman properly means that you have to think most days not at all about yourself and when you do think about yourself you're thinking about yourself in terms of how you can preserve yourself and best position yourself to meet the needs of that woman and the children that you might have you got to love her sacrificially the woman has to feel that the man will die before he allows anything to happen to her now does your woman feel that way about you now ladies as well you can learn from this what you need to be looking for in a so-called husband if that man does not make you feel that he would die before he allows something to happen to you he ain't one you got to love her sacrificially you can't send your woman out to get two and three jobs while you sitting around the house alright praise the Lord a man's sacrifice now listen to this carefully promotes a sense of safety in the woman's mind when a man will sacrifice for a woman she then feels safe in his life or her or him being in her life she feels safe in his arms let's put it that way but there are many brothers who have not been trained that loving a woman means to sacrifice let me show you what I mean when you go out on a date you young guys when you go out on a date night in your generation y'all y'all telling how about her half is this no no no no no no no don't bring the woman no no don't bring the woman on no date if you're not prepared to pay the whole deal and ain't no no such thing as UAF is this uh-uh no no no no no no if I got to spend the last in my pocket I'm gonna do what's necessary to take care of the significant woman in my life if I'm a man and let me say this to you let me just switch on over to you ladies if you have a man that you're that you're dating now and he not he not coming up with the he not eating not paying the bills novel he's not paying the way now you don't people to dinner you're not paying for the movies you you can't wait to marry this man the hope he gonna be a provider if he really loves you right he don't want you going in your pocket because when a man loves a woman right he sacrifices for man I wear myself out take care of my wife my wife is you know I live to take care of my wife I live to take care of my wife literally I do things I don't feel like doing some time but I got to take care of my wife I want to make sure my wife is right you know right now I'm trying to figure out how much you know I'm working on retirement but she can tell you she only tonight she can tell you from in my 30s I was working on making sure she good if I die because when a man loves a woman right he sacrifices for and guess what he's not looking for equal sacrifice out of her suppose Jesus look the equal sacrifice out of us we can put that up all right watch this now when you look at the first man Adam the basis of Adam's relationship with Eve was grounded and sacrificed God said you can't have a woman in so many words so many actions God said you can't have a woman unless your sacrifice God could have called Eve into existence God could have made you from the dust of the ground but God chose to take Eve out of a dementing what if you're not ready to sacrifice and in the Bible says Adam bled God opened up this open up his side and Adam bled meaning form and even qualified to have a woman in his life he has to sacrifice if he does not have a mindset to sacrifice he is not qualified to be anybody's husband my daughter and I were walking uh last night and they had you know a different group of people to my to my left and she was to my left and I said tell you come on over to my right you know you come over here so that I can be between you and the different group are looking at a different looking group of people you feel what I'm saying I don't let my wife walk to the street where the cars are rolling I get to the street I put up to the inside because a man's mind is I'm going to sacrifice whatever's Nessus for my woman now so men must love their women sacrificially because a woman can only reproduce what the man first deposits a man must sacrifice for his woman to be empowered to be her best in Ephesians 5 25 through 27 says husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church now that's a deep statement right there look I got to love my wife like Christ loved the church and died for the church that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word that he might present it to himself a glorious church not had he had to sacrifice for the church to be what he envisioned it to be likewise a man has to sacrifice for his wife for her to be her best a lot of times we're blaming the woman for not being something we've not deposited enough into her to materialize a woman can't give birth to children until a man souls that into her likewise if you see your wife at a certain level you have to make the necessary sacrifices all right now check this out relative to sacrifice because what's the what's the issue we always talk about is men submission submission pastor my wives don't want to submit to me my wife don't want submit to me the woman cannot submit to man that does not sacrifice let me say that one more time real slow the woman cannot submit to a man that does not first sacrifice the man must love his wife into submission you see when you sacrifice for your woman submission will become a natural response there a lot of you all who are looking for submission who've not first sown sacrifice you see the family struggling and you won't you won't get up and do what's necessary to earn this extra money you know your wife wrestling and struggling and all of this kind of stuff trying to help you and if she work and she's helping you trying to help you you won't even wash the dishes for the woman you won't pick the children up all right pretty lot number two the man must love his woman supportively supportively he must love our first sacrificially but then secondly he must love her supportively being a husband or the significant man in a woman's life must never be viewed as eliminating the woman's individuality the man is to support the woman not subtract from her the connection to a husband should enhance the woman's pretend you just like the man needs the woman to get behind him and to support him the woman also has a independent identity and their seasons that the man has to get behind her and support her but how many women give and sacrifice all of their lives and all of their ambitions to men who never stand behind them in first Peter 3 and 7 the Bible says and this is the amplified version I'm reading it says in the same way you married men should live considerately with your wives with an intelligent recognition of the marriage relation honoring the woman as physically the weaker but realizing that you are joint heirs of the grace God's unmerited favor of life in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off otherwise you cannot pray effectively there's some things your wife has to materialize for both of you to be your best but she cannot materialize it if you don't support her now there are few ways you need to support her number one as I said you got us you need to support our individuality you know my wife is my wife but I encourage my wife to reach for her own ambitions and aspirations and where I can help her in support her and lend my strength to strength to her I will and I do if she knows you love her she will follow you to the moon if not she won't follow you to the corner that is true if you sacrifice for your woman if if you support your woman there's no limit to where she'll go for you but there are many of you your women are not feeling any support from you now you cannot support your woman's individuality if you're not if you're not secure as a man you know like some of you brothers now let me help you out some of you brothers got you got you your wives or the significant women in your lives feeling some sort of complex because they make as much money or more money than you man how small is that how small is that you got to learn to support your woman support her individuality let her maximize herself and all that God has put in her and you be a significant part of that don't have your woman having to go outside to find support to maximize their potential her greatest cheerleader should be her husband just like his greatest cheerleaders should be his wife number two you need to support her domestically in other words what I just mentioned you know if the woman working and you know she worn out you don't help the woman out do what you can do man you may not be able to cook it on its meaning you may be like me you're not kidding cook nothing I can boil water but you're not doing a little stuff I can do makeup to bed and all of that you know watch some dishes and everything is she gonna be out late and all that wash some dishes you know days I tell her they you know you don't worry about cooking that my wife will cook every day she will disobey don't worry about cooking nothing today you know we don't walk and get some meat and if she won't do whenever because I support a domestically I realize that my house would not be what it is if that woman didn't run it when she's gone for you know blintz of time wow it's amazing how fast that house fall apart you got to support of domestically Philippians 2:3 enforces let nothing be done through strife or vainglory but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves look not every man on his own things but every man also on the things of others so now are you paying attention to what concerns your wife because if you trying to have sex at night and this woman got a you know a sink full of dishes and homework to do with these children and got to clean up this house that these children just wrecked got to pick up all your clothes that you left all over the house got to sit down and pay all these bills and you sitting at you watching TV and then this woman come in after working the all day and running all day and she come in there trying to go to sleep and you met with a falling out going to sleep well you should have supported the woman you should have helped the woman if you want to have sex at night when I had that kind of stuff on my mind I vacuum I do everything I win Windex the windows I do everything I want to make your job easy today BAE praise the Lord then you got to support her financially you had a supporter individuality you got a supporter domestically then you got to support her financially when you can earn as a man when you get over you your bottom and go and make that money man go make that money don't have your woman stressed out over money if you can help it and I would say to you ladies do not marry man there's not concerned about financial with the financial well-being you'll financial well-being the man oh man it ain't concerned about paying no bills is why you need to know a man's credit rating because his credit rating would tell you how he feels about money any man's credit rating is in the toilet does not had some extreme circumstances they hit his life recently into one he you need a man that's going to support you financially no no no no finance no romance romance with our finance is a new sense mm-hmm God gave Adam a job before he gave him a wife every man should ayuh to support his woman financially first Timothy 5 and it says but if any provide not for his own and especially for those of his own house he had denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever and ladies let me tell you something you pay attention to how a man deals with you relative to his money because anything a man truly loves he will put his money into it look at his car look at his clothes look at his hair and when it comes down to you he took my let's go have anything a man loves he spends money on Matthew 6:21 says where man's treasure is there as heart is did number three you got to love her with your words now that's where you go to making you thought y'all to my making love you young boys to my making love and all you talk about is it bouncing up and down in the bed and all that you know man anything that you make love with your words in fact about it if you want to have sex at night you need to start making love early in the morning with your words when you learn how to talk to a woman it's a bad thing to have a Negro lord have mercy to have somebody in the street know what to say to your woman and you don't know what to say bad thing for homie down the block to know exactly what to say to you woman and you don't know what to say you got to learn how to love that woman with your words you got to know what to say to your woman why do you think that woman get up in the morning and put on all that stuff she ain't going to work trying to impress 10 people at the job stream like them people at the job tell I'm trying to get you to say something and you ain't saying nothing and she walk outside homie on the corner talking to-- she get to the job homeboy at the parking gate he hollering at her she get in the lobby the security guard he harden telling about how good she look and you said nothing you got other men pouring in to your woman what you supposed to be pouring in to her you sitting there like a dummy saying absolutely nothing then when that woman walk off from you then you want to come calling people like me time I can you call to get her back man when a woman when a woman is fed up I'm in Chicago this is our Telus town ain't nothing you can do about it when a woman is fed up ain't nothing you can do about it if you don't know how to talk to your woman you aren't problems you got to know how to talk to your woman sit there with your mouth closed I'm your man a few words you better try to talk alright praise the Lord look what proverbs 31 20 29 says about that virtuous woman and her husband says our children this is amplified her children rise up and call her blessed happy fortunate and to be ended and her husband boasts of Impreza's her saying many daughters have done virtuously nobly and well with the strength of character that is steadfast in God and goodness but you excelled them all her husband said they got some bad chicks out here but you better than all of them one last time you talk to your woman like that when's the last time you talk to your woman like that you got a good woman and you mean to tell me you have said nothing to her this woman has heard nothing from you do you understand how important words up to a woman let me put it in a context that hopefully you can get it you know what you got I may have children on you I would think not do not at this time you know you know what you know what visual aid does for man you know how we feel when she when your wife we put that in context when your wife gets out of her dress before she takes off for those high-heeled shoes you know what that does for for us as men you know you know how you know how that blesses us what that does for us well the same thing that that does for us visually when you use the right words with your woman it does the same thing for her as a female words do for a woman what visual II does for man watch this so the main assignment of a man with a watch this especially you got to know how to love a woman with words especially when she is a broken woman what does that mean when she's had a history that has subtracted from her self-esteem as as her husband as her man you have to learn how to build those areas of her her her self-esteem up with your words proverbs 18:21 22 says death in life and the power of the tongue and they that indulge and it shall eat the fruit of it he who finds a true wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord interesting that those though the proverbs are written somewhat randomly it's interesting that verse 21 comes before 22 it talks about finding a good wife 21 talks about death in life being in the tongue a man has to learn how to speak life into his woman she'll look in the mirror and she have one of those imaginations I'm getting fat I'm getting fat I'm getting fat you have to tell the baby you define this thing walking you gotta learn to talk to her you got to learn to talk to her you know she'll help she'll have ideas about you know ambitions on her job and a career that she can't do it and you gotta learn to talk baby you you brilliant you can do anything you set your mind to I'm here for you I'm praying for you I may not be as smart as you but I got your back you got to learn how to love her with your words look look what the Holy Spirit said to me a girl develops her self-esteem a girl develops a girl develops her self-esteem from her father's affirmation but a wife's self view is maintained by the words of a husband if she has a man that's saying the right stuff to her her husband can take her even to the next level and then you have to love your wife unconditionally you got to love you I forgot it I got I got one of them people up in I'm special people you got to love your wife unconditionally in other words watch this you can't you can't be sitting here talking about you cannot be sitting here talking about you you're certain sighs you know you maintain this you maintain that then no no no no you got you gotta love you you gotta love your woman unconditionally there we go praise the Lord we done yeah yeah I got it all right praise Allah you gotta love unconditionally you know you got a level without conditions you know I mentioned last hope about Jose and Gomer you go read that very interesting story the Prophet Hosea marries a prostitute and she has kids for him he finds out the kids were not his she leaves him and she goes back into the world running after other men she then after she misuses this man uh she falls into slavery and he hears that she's on the auction block and Hosea takes his last no money and he goes down and he buys her back he loved that woman unconditionally see if you can't love your woman when she's down you king level when she's at her worse you don't deserve her when she's at her best isn't it amazing how listen to our heart speak to her spirit that's powerful isn't it amazing how women can put up with everything out of us we can go out and cheat and they'll forgive us over and over and over and over again we can be bombs when we can get a job they'll be sitting trying to work trying to take care of us and then the slightest little thing we ready to cut but when you really love your woman right you love her without conditions not know if you a certain size not know if you're certain weight not none of this if you keep a job you got to love her unconditionally and then number five you must love her tenderly you gotta love her tenderly meaning you got out you got to honor your wife you got to handle her this is what I mean by that you got to handle her a certain way see if if a man doesn't does not handle you a certain way don't give him the time of day that rhymes done it if a man doesn't handle you a certain way don't give him the time of day I handle my wife very carefully I can be irritated with my wife maybe even angry but I will never call out of a name I would never act aggressively towards my wife and in most cases I won't even raise my voice she's on here she can testify to that she'll know how she'll know what I say in the way I said that my nerves are bad leave me alone right now all right now Lee gonna leave me alone and then she'll leave me alone but I handle my wife a certain way I don't I don't I don't scream at my wife I don't get aggressive I don't get hostile that's my wife you got to clarify what you mean by most cases okay here it is in Colossians 3:19 is his husband's love your wives be affectionate and sympathetic with them and do not be harsh or bitter or resentful toward them when the Bible tells the man to honor the woman you know what honor means it means to put that woman in a place that is above all of us okay you still don't get it all right if you can control your vulgarity when you get angry with your mama why can't you control it when you get angry with your wife if you can temper your disposition with your mother or with your pastor or with the police why can't you temper your disposition with your woman it's because you've not honored her you're not honoring her when you honor her you were put in a place where you will handle her a certain way and you gonna make sure everybody else handles her a certain way because you're gonna handle your woman tenderly I thought you already shut me down by now and then finally number six you must love her respectfully you must love our respectfully scripture does not make Scripture does not make your wife a slave your wife is not a second-class citizen to you your wife is your partner in Dominion and you got to respect that you got to respect your wife's mind you have to respect your wife's input the Bible says that you shouldn't be bitter against her because you hinder your prayers because we're heirs together you got to love her respectfully now check this out and I'm done check this out check this out Adam made some serious mistakes but one thing is certain Adam respected his woman's mind he respected her opinion too much but he respected it today we are disrespectful to our wives we will listen to everybody else and we will ignore our wives I look at it even at church brothers come to church and they breaking across to the yard to open the door for somebody somebody else's wife or some other woman while they woman getting out of the calling on that's disrespectful you got to love you woman respectfully a lot of time we want we want to receive from our women from our wives what we've not first given and again a woman can only reproduce what you first deposit if you deposit disrespect she gonna give you more of it than you can imagine she always gives you back more than you deposit that's one thing about a woman if you give up whatever you give her she will give you more than you can imagine she give it back to you she is your partner in Dominion you got to love her respectfully now um one other thing I'll add I didn't actually have this in my notes but it's on my mind is on my mind if you're gonna really love a woman give up groceries she makes a meal that's exactly right if you don't really love a woman properly you got it you got also lover with conviction by that I mean there many of you brothers who've not been trained in manhood and you feel like just being a yes-man and just being you know a pushover is appealing to woman it's not now not now listen to me make sure I explain myself clearly you're not to be a dictator I'm not a dictator at my house but I am the visionary and in most cases we compromise well in most cases needs to do what you want to do and a few of those cases we compromise in in the minority of situations this is the way we're gonna do it be and when you know what when when I respect her enough to let her do a thing that her running helene and don't get in her way when i respect her enough to compromise when i say is the visionary leader of the family bae this is what god is showing me this is what we're gonna do you know what she says okay BAE but the reason she submits to that is because number one I have a backbone number two I have respect for but those of you brothers who don't who don't have a backbone and are not leading your women spiritually your woman is gonna lose interest in you you sitting around are you just a little yes man you just bounce around like a little monkey and you don't have any backbone you don't have any vision you're not providing any direction and everything this woman say you just yes man yeah whatever you say dear that's stuff ain't gonna work man a woman need a man she's not looking for lowboys she's not looking for son she's looking for a man she's looking for somebody this is what God is showing me and BAE this is that this is the direction I think we need to be going in can I get you to support me on this onion you know she gonna say yeah but when you have no vision you have no convictions you just yes into everything it's the monkey man syndrome you know about the monkey in the in the circles on the market with a little red suit on they play the music he just dance around so you want to start playing that too and you just dance around you think that's attractive that you do everything she tell you to do when she you know what she go out in the street and say about you say baby you know he nice but you know I need a real man this boy ain't got no backbone ain't got no no passion no conviction no direction I need a man with a vision so that was Dutchess extra right now hope I ain't make nobody mad

Channel: RC Blakes, Jr

Views: 26,031

Rating: 4.8912487 out of 5

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Id: 6Al4RrpiZ0E

Length: 36min 58sec (2218 seconds)

Published: Mon Dec 14 2015