Juan Ponce de Leon was famously known for searching for the legendary Fountain of Youth with his crew in the 1500s. SPOILER ALERT! He didn't find it, obviously because he's dead... ...I think. But his search might have been successful if only he lived in the 21st century. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm here to tell you that we have the key to immortality, right in our grocery stores. And it all starts with this tiny red bottle of 5-Hour Energy. So drinking one of these gives you 5 hours of energy. So that means drinking two will give you 10 hours. Right? It takes 17,520,000 hours to make up 2000 years. And here's how we unlock our immortality. To get 17 million hours of energy, we would have to drink 3,504,000 bottles of 5-Hour Energy. After you do all that, you have enough energy to last the next 2000 years. And there you go! That's... That's how you live forever. Every 2000 years, you just drink 3 million bottles of 5-Hour Energy and what? That's 12 ounces a bottle. Divided by 128. So that's only... 328,500 gallons of 5-Hour Energy, and BOOM! So it's not really a fountain of youth, It's more of a pond of youth. And you have to drink all that 5-Hour Energy every 2000 years. It's not gonna be forever. And it might take a while, so just set aside, like an afternoon, and just get sipping. Wait, hold on, if each bottle is $2.50, then how much would it cost? (Calculating) $8.7 MILLION?!? DANG IT!!! ONLY THE RICH GET TO LIVE FOREVER! Okay guys, never mind. I guess immortality impossible! UGH! Just looks like all of us are going to have to die. (♫♫♫)
Theodd1sout is awesome