Hey, I’m Kyle from The Distilled Man
Up next, I’m going share 6 different ways to politely end a conversation at a party. Stick around. [Intro Music] Have you ever been at a party, a get-together or a function, you're talking to someone for a while, and everything’s going fine, but then after awhile...you start to feel,
well, a little trapped? It could be that you're talking to someone who really likes the sound of their own voice and won’t stop jabbering… Or, maybe you’re trapped with someone who’s an
insurance salesman a real estate agent and they want to talk shop, and you just
want to have fun Or, it could just be that the conversation
has run its course, and it’s time to go your separate ways, but neither of you has made the
first move yet. So you want you to get out of the conversation, but
you don’t want to be rude. Up next, I’m going to share 6 different
ways to politely get out of a conversation: We’ll cover: The Minimalist
The Mingle The Top Off
The Duty Calls The Book End
And the Special Delivery Number 1, The Minimalist Some people like the more direct approach
to getting out of a conversation kind of treating it like ripping off a bandaid. With this approach, you simply wait for a
pause in the conversation--and this could be helped by a momentary distraction like one of you has been offered Hors D’oeuvres or a drink Or you can simply wait for them to take
a breathe. Even if they’re yammering on they're going to will have to breathe at some point. Or maybe they take
a sip of their drink… And then, you swiftly do 2 things:
You smile as genuinely and warmly as possible, And you say “Well it was really nice talking to you.” And then you walk off. Now, this approach can work fine, and technically
it’s perfectly polite. but sometimes if you don’t do it quite right,
it can come across as a little bit abrupt. So some of these upcoming techniques may be
a little bit better for you. Number 2, The Mingle With this approach, you essentially going to tell them you’re going to go socialize with some other people at the party. So you might say something like, “Well it was great talking to you. Now I’m just going to catch up with some
other friends” Or, “Wow, it was so nice chatting with you! If you’ll excuse me, I just saw an old friend
I need to catch up with…." Whether it’s a cocktail party or a networking
event, the goal is for you to talk to more than one person--so it’s perfectly
acceptable for you to say that you're going to socialize with someone else. You can even kind of have fun with it, Make fun of the fact of you're sort of a glad-handing
schmooze... “Well, if you'll excuse me, I think I’ll go do a bit more mingling…” And at a business event in some ways it’s
almost easier to use this technique: You can say something like, “Wow, I’ve really taken up a lot of your time! We’re here to meet people. Why don't we split up and go make the
rounds…” Number 3, The Top Off It’s funny, even if you don’t drink alcohol, at a social gathering people seem to universallly accept that having
a glass in your hand or a bottle of something is a kind of like a prop --of course if it has alcohol in it, it can
help loosen you up that way as well, but even if not, just having anything, even like a water bottle, is a bit of a security blanket at a social gathering, And because people understand that your drink is prop at a party, a funny phenomenon happens: People really recognize that an empty glass
is a situation that needs to be fixed. This is why the Top Off is such a good technique. All you have to do is say: “Oh look at that! I’ve run dry. I better go top off my drink.” Or “Well it was lovely speaking with you. I’m going to go refresh my drink now.” One sort of sneaky trick I heard about is
always keep your drink only half full And that way, it’s a lot easier to use the
top-off technique whenever you need it. Oh, look at that. Excuse me for a second Number 4, The Duty Calls With this one, the sky’s the limit
in terms of how you can use this. Because all you're doing is essentially excusing yourself from the conversation because, well, duty calls. There's something that you need to do And that thing needs to be done right now. So you can just say something like, “Well, if you’ll excuse me I’ve got to [FILL IN THE BLANK]. It was great talking to you.” What’s interesting about this is studies have shown that simply having ANY reason for doing something can often make the other person more understanding and less likely to have their feathers ruffled. So it almost doesn’t matter what you say in that fill-in-the-blank space. You could say something like, “Well, if you’ll excuse me, I really need to go comb my mustache. It was nice meeting you.” This technique can also work very
well if you are the host, or are helping the host, because you can say something like, “It was so nice catching up with you. Well if you'll excuse me, I told Kara I
would help her set up the dessert table.” Of course, as you might have already guessed, the “Duty calls” technique does have double meaning. We all know that the easiest way to get out of a conversation is to tell someone you have to go to the restroom. Duty calls? Duty? Get it? Okay… Number 5, the Bookend. The book end is probably one of the more civilized
ways to end a conversation. Because what you’re doing is sort of thematically
winding down the conversation by referring back to something that you were talking
about originally or a key point the other person made This especially works great if the person has given you
a tip or some advice. “Wow, I’ve really enjoyed talking to
you. And thanks so much for that tip about the lawn fertilizer. I'm definitely going to have to give that a try in my backyard.” Or
“Well, those were some amazing adventures you had in Thailand--thanks so much for sharing! My wife and I are definitely going to have to check that out for our next vacation!” What’s nice about this approach is (1) it gives a
very clear sign that you’re winding the conversation down, and (2) it kind of gives the other person a nice warm fuzzy, since it shows that you were actually listening to them and kind
of validates their experience. Number 6, The Special Delivery Now this technique is a little more advanced, because it requires a bit of logistical finesse. I heard this tip from my friend Rosalinda
Randall, an etiquette consultant here in the Bay Area. With The Special Delivery you're essentially bringing the person you're talking to over to another group of people. “Hey why don’t we go say hello to those
folks over there. I have someone I want to introduce
you to.” And you physically take the other person over there. “Sam, meet so and
so. So and so, meet Sam.” And immediately they start talking. And when they get into the conversation, that gives you an opportunity to quietly slip away and excuse yourself. All you really have to say is “Excuse me
for a moment.” Or “I’ll let you guys chat
for a minute." And just extract yourself. The nice thing about this technique is
if it's done well, rather than the person feeling
rejected or like you no longer want to talk to them instead, they get the benefit of having a new person who can listen to them. So, the next time you’re at a party or a get together and you need a way to polite way to get out of a conversation, just remember 6 tips. Guys, you may have other tips on how to get of conversations politely, so please leave your comments below. I always love hearing from you. Thanks again for watching, and I’ll see
you soon!
