How To Forgive Yourself

hey youtube family thank you for joining us each week for new content to help you grow in your faith in fact if you haven't subscribed to this channel yet hit subscribe right now i've got something special for you this week at church we're using content that we're not allowed to archive for copyright reasons if it's during the week you can catch the message live at church online but today i've chosen a message for you if you're feeling heaviness or the weight of something you've done wrong in the past you feel guilty you feel ashamed this message is called why can't i forgive myself today i want to talk about forgiving the person that may be the most difficult for many people to forgive and that is forgiving yourself how do you forgive yourself when you let yourself down or let god down or hurt somebody that you love when you think about it this can be so difficult because we know what we did that we shouldn't have done and we wish that we could undo we know the words that we said that we didn't really mean i mean maybe we kind of meant it at the time but we didn't really not our heart and we said it and now we really hurt somebody we know what we think about when nobody else is around and we carry the shame we carry the guilt how can i forgive myself after what i did or after who i am in this particular situation this was a real issue for me especially as a new christian i was um in college very very far from god and i did a lot of things that hurt a lot of people and the the guilt and the shame of the things that i did the people that i hurt it weighed so heavily on me and so i became a follower of christ and i started to understand the forgiveness of jesus okay so he forgives me but i couldn't forgive myself i ended up getting invited to go to this church it was unlike any church that i'd ever been to i grew up in a traditional united methodist church with pews hymns stand up sit down do the apostles creed sing verses 1 2 and 4 of every hymn i don't know what's wrong with verse 3 but we didn't see verse 3 in our church and this church was way way way different there weren't hymns there were people like jumping up and down and dancing and lifting their hands up in the air i'd never seen anything like it and it was bizarre to me confusing but there was something about it that was also like wow these people are into it this is different and the pastor preached a message and i'm telling you i don't know if you've ever had this but it was just like god him and me and like god was giving him the things to say to me it was about forgiving yourself and at the end of the message he said if you can't forgive yourself why don't you come forward to the front i never thought about going forward to the front in the church ever before but without even thinking it's like i just stood up and started walking forward thinking i was the only person in that church that was feeling such guilt well little did i know there were a lot of other people i just happened to be the first person i guess i was the guiltiest one and i got up there and there was a line of people and the pastor came to me first because i was the first person there and he just started you know music's playing and there's all these people and i'm crying and he said do you feel guilty said yeah i feel guilty he said lift up your hands i'm like i didn't do this at first methodist church but i lifted up my hands and then he did this thing he said he said you're forgiven and he stepped forward and he hit my hand really hard when he hit him so hard i almost fell backwards like whoa that way you hit it hard well he came in a second time to hit my hands again i thought oh i'm no dummy we're supposed to high-five and so when he came in to hit my hands again i stepped into it i high-fived him back i was ready he looked at me like i did something wrong i didn't know he went to the next person and high-fived them and said you're forgiven and they fell to the ground and the next person fell to the ground and everybody fell to the ground first i felt incredibly guilty for my sin then i felt guilty because i didn't fall to the ground like everybody else what is wrong with me maybe jesus has forgiven me but how do i forgive myself i don't know what it might be for you maybe you drank too much one night and you did something you can't undo or you said something you could can't unsay maybe it was years ago you were in your teens or your early twenties and you felt cornered in a very desperate situation and you made what you thought was the right decision at the time but you have regretted it ever since maybe in the name of loving your family you did what you thought was best you poured yourself into work i'm gonna be a good provider i'm gonna be successful for my family and then years went by and suddenly you're disconnected with your kids and you think what did i do why did i do that the whole time the most important thing was right in front of me and yet i just poured my life into something else i can't get over the guilt that i neglected my family maybe you found yourself in a really odd spot in your marriage and instead of stepping into your marriage you step out of your marriage and you did something betrayed your spouse and you just can't get over the guilt that you feel maybe it's the clicking the looking at things you know you shouldn't look at and you really do you love god and if you're married you really do love your spouse but you keep going back and back and back and back again and the shame and the guilt is just overwhelming what do you do when what you did haunts you when the guilt just simply won't go away that's why i've called this message why can't i forgive myself why can't i forgive myself what do you do with the guilt i want to start today by acknowledging something that i think is very important and that is this that not all guilt is created equal not all guilt is created equal some of you are living under what we might call a false guilt in other words you're feeling guilty for something you shouldn't feel guilty about i don't know what it might be for you but maybe you were a kid or a teenager and your parents divorced and you feel like somehow in some way that was your fault i should have done something if i hadn't my parents you know it's all my fault they divorced that is not your fault that is a false guilt tragically i come across so many people that were victims of someone who abused their power there might be those of you that someone that you trusted and loved took advantage of you and maybe physically or emotionally in some way they abused you and so often it's so tragic and so sad but the victim often feels a shame and and and in some way like i must have done something wrong in some way it was my fault it was not your fault that was not your fault don't buy into the devil's game of shaming you with the false guilt for me the false guilt that plagued me for years was the loss of my friend that i told you about a few weeks ago i had a very close friend of mine who ended up in a dark place and when we were not getting along in that season my friend took his life and for years this weighed on me it must have been my fault if i only hadn't had said that if i only had done this what if i had reached out to him on and on and on the guilt just wouldn't go away it took help from somebody saying that is not yours his he mentally was in it wasn't in a good place spiritually he wasn't in a good place emotionally he was out of whack he made the wrong decision false guilt is it's always dangerous it's always non-productive it's it's it's not from god and we need to let let that go it's a false guilt not all guilt is created equal there's another type of guilt and this guilt can actually believe it or not can be a gift when you let it draw you closer to god the right type of guilt can actually be a gift when it draws you into the presence of god in fact second corinthians chapter 7 tells us this verse 10 tells us godly sorrow somebody say godly sorrow godly sorrow scripture says brings repentance a sorrow that says i wish i hadn't done that that wasn't the right thing i dishonored god i hurt somebody i i would give anything to not do that over again that brings repentance that leads to salvation and it leaves no regret a godly sorrow it leads to repentance i'm so so sorry it brings about salvation and it leaves no regret but there's another type of guilt or sorrow that's a worldly sorrow and the worldly sorrow brings death let's talk about the godly sorrow this is a feeling of conviction oh my gosh i did something that's not right i am so so sorry this type of conviction can actually be good and it can be helpful because it can take you off of the wrong path and it can put you onto a right path this is a this is a godly sorrow that says you know what i don't want to live that way anymore i don't want to be like that i don't want to say what i said anymore i want to change directions i want to change my behavior i want to apologize i want to live in freedom i want to express god's love and heal from what happened in the past there's a big difference between a godly sorrow and a worldly sorrow a good example of godly sorrow is peter in the new testament and many of you can probably relate to peter i know i can peter was a guy that had a lot of good qualities and then he would just do something like stupid on steroids how many of you can relate to that okay you're like you're going in the right direction you're honoring god you're doing good things you're you're in the zone and then one day boom dumber than dum dum dum where'd that come from this was peter unfortunately this can be me peter he's kind of bragging on himself jesus i'm your guy man he walks up to him he gives them the hand you know the the guy hand-to-hand the bro hug everybody else denies you not me i got your back i'm in your corner i'll always be there for you if everyone else lets you down and hey if you're in a battle jesus you want me and your army i will never let you down and then jesus kind of sees through his pride and sees his weakness and jesus said prophesy hey peter chill down a little bit because before the rooster crows you're actually going to deny me three times that's exactly what happens jesus gets arrested a little girl walks up and says hey weren't you the guy that was with jesus and peter's like jesus who i don't know who you're talking about another woman comes up to him and says hey weren't you one of the disciples weren't you walking with jesus and peter's like i don't know who you're talking about i wasn't there i don't know where you're talking about i was i was home doing crossword puzzles or whatever and then we read in scripture about a third person that confronts him luke chapter verse 59 about an hour later another person asserted certainly speaking of peter certainly this fellow was with jesus for he's a galilean and peter replied man i don't know what you're talking about and just as he was speaking the rooster crowed now i'm going to show you a portion of scripture that you may not have noticed if you read through this before just at the moment that peter denied jesus scripture says in verse 61 the lord turned and looked straight at peter the moment that peter let jesus down peter looked at him and caught him straight in the eye and peter remembered the word the lord had spoken to him before the rooster crows today you'll disown me three times and peter went outside and wept bitterly wept bitterly a godly sorrow i cannot believe i did what i did i am so so so so so sorry i was so stupid have you ever felt like that have you ever felt like that in the middle of your best intentions i'll never do that again and then a short time later you do it again i truly love this person with all my heart and then in a moment of anger you say something that you'll regret for years and years to come you promise yourself that you'll always and then you don't or you'll never and you do and then you wake up i can't believe i did that why was i so stupid how could god love someone like me that never gets it right that always falls short that hurts someone i love in such a significant way the moment you're there the devil has you exactly where he wants you the moment you're dwelling in your shame your spiritual enemy has you in a corner because shame is the devil's playground shame is where he wants you there's a big difference between a godly sorrow a guilt and a shame that personalizes a behavior what does guilt say guilt says i did something bad i did something that's wrong but it's it's a separate act it is forgivable guilt says i did something bad shame says i am bad i am a bad person and what the devil does is he tries to use your action to connect it with your identity to create a sense of shame from this moment forward the devil wants you to believe you are pathetic you are worthless you are useless god will never use you again after what you thought after what you said you'll never be happy you'll never be blessed you'll never measure up you'll never have a real ministry you'll never have a great marriage your kids are never going to honor you you're never going to have a great legacy you're always going to be marked by the thing you did because you are bad the pain you're experiencing oh that's just payment for your past you deserve that the moment you start dwelling in shame your spiritual enemy has you exactly where he wants you you can almost imagine what the devil would have been telling peter about this time peter you blew it big time jesus trusted you jesus out of all the people in the world jesus selected you peter to be one of his disciples and then you went off bragging about how great you were you'd be there for him and then you let him down you betrayed him you fell short dan to give just top it off jesus saw you do it he looked you right in the eye guess what peter all the disciples are going to know about it you're never going to have any credibility again your life is over your integrity is shot your ministry is ruined peter you completely blew you should be so ashamed of yourself shame is the devil's playground what does your spiritual enemy want to do that the devil wants to use your shame to drive you away from god you're not good enough for god you'll never measure up after what you did after the way you think after the way you behave after what you said god could never really love you the devil wants to use your shame to drive you away from god but god wants to use your guilt to draw you to his grace come on somebody can you feel that the power that the the godly sorrow says i don't want that anymore i have a safe place to turn i have a god who loves me a god who still cares about me a god who receives me his mercies are new every single morning the devil wants to use your shame to drive you away from god you'll never be successful you'll never be fulfilled you'll never have anything significant or meaningful in your life but our god in his goodness he wants to use a godly sorrow a healthy guilt to draw you to his grace so you receive his mercy and you're free to do his will think about this it's very similar to comparing what peter did and what judas did they essentially did the same thing if you don't know judas's story just like peter peter denied jesus three times well judas betrayed him one time for 30 pieces of silver and instead of having a godly sorrow judas had what many of us have in his shame he had a worldly sorrow i'm so busted my life is over i got caught i'm so embarrassed i'm so ashamed i can never face anyone again and so what did judas do in his shame he separated himself from god and he took his own life shame is the devil's playground then there was peter who essentially did something very similar to judah judas but instead he had a worldly he had a godly sorrow a godly sorrow i i'm so sad that i did this i was wrong would you forgive me and godly sorrow leads to repentance repentance what is repentance repentance is simply changing directions re means to turn pent is kind of like a penthouse it's turning from a lower way to turning to a higher and a better way is simply turning god i'm so sorry i don't want to ever live like that again i don't want to talk like that again i don't want to treat someone like that again i want to live in your ways i want to find freedom i want to be a blessing i want to be a voice of hope it's a godly sorrow that leads to repentance i acknowledge that i sinned that i'm so sorry i'm not making any excuses for what i did or what i didn't do it's a godly sorrow that leads to repentance jesus went on to give his life why for the forgiveness of our sins the one who was perfect became sin for us on a cross he died in our place the world went dark three days later when some women went to the tomb to check on things the stone was rolled away the tomb was empty the son of god jesus was not there but god had raised him from the dead so that we can be forgiven so we can experience his grace in john's gospel chapter 21 you can read this powerful story jesus shows up to peter the one who failed three times and failed and denied jesus in front of jesus's eyes and jesus looked at peter and he said peter do you love me and peter's like yes i love you i did love you i do love you i just did something stupid isn't that the way it is sometimes yes i love you yes i want to do what's right yes i understand i don't know why but i just did yes i love you and let me tell you what jesus did not say he didn't say i told you you were going to do it didn't say that he didn't say i want you to dwell on what on your past think about it you're in spiritual time out you can do that he didn't say you need to wallow in your sin for a while you need to drown in your guilt because you now are going to hell where the worm never dies this is my bad southern preacher where the worm never dies and there's weeping and gnashing of teeth he didn't do that no no no no no no feel the power feel the love peter do you love me jesus you know i do and i can imagine jesus smiling saying then feed my sheep in other words then do my will go show my love finish your assignment do you love me yes i do you're forgiven go do what i created you to do let me tell you what peter didn't do peter didn't say i just can't receive your grace i'll never get over it i don't deserve it jesus you're great your grace may be enough for john but your grace isn't enough for me peter didn't do that but that's exactly what many of us do you can't really forgive me i deserve to live in shame for the rest of my life no he acknowledged his sin he apologized he repented he received the forgiveness of jesus i don't know what you're holding something you didn't do years ago that you should have done something that you did that still weighs on you something you said something in a moment of stupidity if you've confessed that to jesus it is forgiven and it is time for you to let it go to let it go for those of you that are afraid i'm going to break into a disney song it's not going to happen i raised six kids i never want to hear that song again as long as i live but i'll preach it in a sermon let it go let it go god's word says this in first john 1 9 that if we listen to me if we confess our sins to god listen our god is faithful and he is just watch to forgive us our sins and to purify us from all unrighteousness all unrighteousness all unrighteousness let it go let it go if you've taken it before god jesus has covered it god doesn't hold it against you he has forgotten your sin you're free don't let the pain of the past rob you from god's calling for your future let it go let it go the neglect the lies the words that you said the thoughts that you had let it go because you need to acknowledge the truth no matter what you do no matter how hard you try no matter how much you will it or how much you want it you cannot change your past but the good news is our god can change your future let it go let it go let it go you did something that you wish you hadn't done let it go you betrayed someone let it go and spend the rest of your life being faithful you got hooked early on something you wish you weren't hooked on but you're free now live and walk in freedom and help others find that same freedom do you love him yes then go do his will feed his sheep let it go maybe you let god down you let yourself down you let somebody else down if it's covered by the blood of jesus don't live in the past let it go whatever it is you smoked something last night you slept with someone last night let it go let it go here's what's going to happen though and be warned your spiritual enemy is sly every now and then he'll try to drink up bring up your past well you did this and you thought that and you said that and you weren't there for them and you let them down and you can never undo that any time the devil brings up your past just remind yourself he's bringing up your past because he's intimidated by your future god's hand is still on you his grace is still in you his power still works through you just remind yourself your enemy's trying to talk you out of god's potential for your life think about peter this means so much to me who did god choose to be the guest speaker at pentecost when god poured out his spirit god chose peter and what was peter's message it was very very simple and it was unbelievably powerful peter said repent of your sins just turn away from it call on the name of jesus and you'll be saved you will be forgiven think about who god chose to do his will to preach his truth to lead people to grace he didn't choose the one who was perfect he chose the one who was forgiven he didn't choose the one who was always faithful he chose the one who experienced grace if you've been forgiven of much guess what you can love so much more do you love him feed his sheep do his will you are not what you did that's something that you did that's not who you are the devil wants you to connect action to identity you did something bad the devil wants you to think you'll always be someone bad but jesus makes all things new it's what i did not who i am i am a child of god yeah that was a bad page in the book that was a bad chapter in my life but my story is not over yet god is still writing my story and i am confident of this paul said you can be confident of this that he who began a good work in you will be faithful to carry it out until completion until the day of christ jesus whatever it is the weight the guilt the shame take it to the one who died for it confess it turn from it and find freedom let it go father we ask in the name of your son jesus that you would do spiritual surgery surgery god on hearts today as you pray and reflect on all of our campuses those of you that you are christians you are committed to follow christ but you still feel the weight of something you did or didn't do said shouldn't have said and you want to find the freedom from that you want to help letting it go would you lift up your hands right now just all of our churches hands going up all over the place god thank you that today is a day of freedom that whoever the son sets free god we know is free indeed and i pray god today for a miracle in hearts that we would step out of shame and into your grace out of guilt god into your freedom that we'd recognize this is actually a godly sorrow that leads to repentance a new direction that brings salvation and brings life god through whoever is living in the shame of the past god help us step out of that shame and into your grace receiving your forgiveness god and letting it go to do your will god by the power of the one that you raised from the dead help us to let it go as you have forgiven us god so we receive your forgiveness and we forgive ourselves let it go your sin is forgiven god remembers it no more you are free from the past to do god's will in the future let it go let it go as you keep praying today at all of our churches nobody looking around just reflecting on this there are those of you you're going to say if we had a honest conversation you might say you don't really know where you stand with god you really may feel the weight and the guilt of the past this was me for years and years and years i thought i had to be really really good do lots of good things to make up for all the bad things and stop doing all the bad things and i realized the harder i tried i just never could quite stop i didn't understand the grace of god who is jesus jesus is the son of god who was perfect in every way he never ever sinned that's why he was the perfect sacrifice for our sins he became sin on the cross he died in our place his death was a substitutionary death he died so we don't have to die he paid the price god raised him from the dead proving that death hell it's been conquered that jesus is risen he is lord and anyone who calls on the name of jesus doesn't matter what you've done doesn't matter how dark your life is anyone who calls on the name of jesus your sins would be forgiven you would be saved the old would be gone and everything would become new in fact there are those of you maybe you're watching on youtube or listening to a podcast or or you're watching online or you're in a campus right now and you recognize you don't know where you stand with god you're not watching by accident you are here at this moment at this time because of the goodness and the grace of god he's drawing you right now and when you pray when you call on him when you repent of your sins he hears your prayers he forgives your sins he separates them as far from you as the east is from the west and you become spiritually new in all of our churches today those who say yes i want his grace i want his forgiveness i simply turn i turn from my sin i turn toward jesus today i give my life to him that's your prayer lift your hands high now all over the place lift them up now say yes that's my prayer right back over here and up here in this section right up here three of you up here praise god for you others of you today right up here praise god for you and here as well two hands right back over here come on somebody can we give our god some praise right back over here search online you click right below me here in the middle section my gosh right back over here can somebody give god some praise today [Music] if you're able church would you just stand to your feet and honor of those that are coming to faith in christ when we pray we don't pray alone we are family would you join your faith with those around you and pray this prayer aloud pray heavenly father forgive all my sins jesus save me change me make me new fill me with your spirit so i can know you so i can walk in your ways so i can do your will on earth as it is in heaven thank you for your grace thank you for new life my life is not my own i give it all to you in jesus name i pray could somebody celebrate big worship loud welcome people born into god's family

Channel: Life.Church

Views: 76,431

Rating: 4.9427891 out of 5

Keywords: Craig Groeschel, Sermon, Life.Church, Lifechurch, life church, life church sermons, craig rochelle, groeschel craig, church sermons 2020, forgiveness, how to forgive yourself, forgive myself, forgive yourself, guilt, how to forgive, shame, grudge, the grudge, regret, how to forgive yourself for past mistakes, how to forgive yourself and move on, how to forgive myself, forgiving yourself, self forgiveness, how to let go of the past, how do i forgive myself

Id: kw62wcdwVHc

Length: 35min 43sec (2143 seconds)

Published: Sun Feb 07 2021