The Faith To Forgive - The Grudge

[Music] [Music] hey who's a little bit excited to be in church today at all of our location it is great to have you with us we're in a message series called The Grudge I want to warn you today could be a little bit challenging the good news is how many of you know that oftentimes in life the best things are on the other side of the difficult things today we may talk about some things that are a little bit difficult but I believe that best things are to come if you were with us last week we started our message series called The Grudge and we talked about overcoming the smaller offenses that hold us back and weigh us down the good news is we're getting over it if you're over it say I'm over it I'm over it I'm over it next week we're gonna talk about something that I believe will impact a lot of people we're actually going to talk about forgiving God now if your technical I think it would be fair to say we never really forgive God because God doesn't sin but there are a lot of people and maybe some of you who feel like God let them down God didn't do what he could have done or God allowed something that you think God shouldn't have allowed and there's some of us they're actually holding a grudge against God and we're gonna talk about reconciling with God next week and the final week we're gonna talk about something I don't think I've heard any messages on before but we're gonna talk about forgiving yourself there are so many people that I believe may know the the grace of Jesus and say okay yes I believe God can forgive someone else or maybe God forgave me but I just can't seem to let it go I'm still carrying the guilt and the shame of something that I did in the past and we're gonna talk about forgiving ourselves today is a heavy one today is a heavy one and it may not be easy but I believe that on the other side of difficult we often find what is best to start today's message I would love it at all of our churches if you're able to stand would you mind just standing to your feet in honor of the reading of God's Word we're gonna let the words of Jesus in Luke's Gospel Luke chapter 17 set the tone in the stage for our study today when Jesus was talking to his disciples he was helping them understand that they would be hurt they would be disappointed they might be betrayed by someone close to them when he said to his disciples things that caused people to stumble are bound to come there's another version that says it this way that it's impossible that no offences would come there are times when we're going to stumble people will hurt us they will let us down they may betray us and Jesus says that's going to happen then he says so watch yourselves if your brother or sister sins against you rebuke them in other words let's just not pretend like it didn't happen let's let's confront them let's deal with it we're followers of Christ we try to make things right our goal is reconciliation so we're going to talk about it we're going to deal with it and we're gonna try to find healing if your brother or sister sins against you rebuke them and if they repent forgive them let it go let them off the hook release it forgive them then Jesus says something that's incredibly challenging he says even if they sin against you seven times in a day in a day and seven times they come back to you saying I repent you must forgive them the disciples are hearing that perhaps thinking the same thing you're thinking I'll give you one time not to not in a day maybe in a lifetime not two not three not four times in a day if they come back and they apologize to repent seven times in a day forgive them the disciples said this the Apostle said to the Lord increase our faith we need more faith to do that the title of today's message is the faith to forgive so father today we ask that you would increase our faith I know God today that I'll be talking to many people that have been hurt deeply their lives impacted significantly by the sins and betrayal of others God we ask that your word would speak life and hope and your spirit would give us the power to do what humanly we don't have the power to do on our own God we ask that you would increase our faith to offer the same forgiveness you've offered to us through your son Jesus and his name we pray and everybody said and then and then you may be seated where you are who betrayed you who lied to you or lied about you who mistreated you or took advantage of you last week we talked about letting go of the small offenses that's relatively easy when someone does something one time or it's small it's not so easy when it's not one time or something that's very very big and very very painful especially when you're betrayed by someone that you trusted someone that you admired someone that you loved dearly and always believed had the best out for you who betrayed you it could have been roommate who stole something that you had could have been a kid in school that bullied you or said stuff about you online it could have been a boyfriend that lied to you and then ended up lying about you it could have been a dad that you simply wanted to please and no matter what you did he always seemed to make you feel small and insignificant it might have been a spouse that you trusted and believed in who betrayed your trust and crushed your heart it could have been an authority figure in your life someone that you admired someone that should have protected you but that person did not protect you but instead they touch you inappropriately and in their twisted sick way somehow they made you think it was actually your fault who betrays you who hurts you do we really need to forgive something like that something that significant when they don't deserve it at all and if we are supposed to forgive them how in the world do we do it practically how do we forgive if they're still doing things that feel unforgivable I simply don't understand if you've been betrayed in a significant way I don't necessarily know what it is but I promise you I do have some sense of understanding in my own life I'll tell you three very quick examples one example was one of the most significant and it happened early in life trusted 6th grade teacher that was admired in our small town a family friends who groomed and took advantage of my little sister and the left of her and ways too gross to ever say publicly not just her but other little girls that he had a years of abuse then there was the second year of our church when a very trusted friend the guy trusted my life with betrayed the integrity of the church did something that compromised a lot and significantly hurt a friendship that was very intimate and important to me those are easier to talk about as they're way way way in the past let's get a little more current there's a friend that I was honored to give two and give two and give two and give two generously with great joy invests in his life and then this person hurt one of my children I don't know about you but sometimes it almost feels more difficult to forgive when someone hurts someone else that you love and when they actually hurt you what do you do how do you forgive that how do you forgive when you don't feel like forgiving what if you even try and it just doesn't seem to go away it's a little bit like trying to vacuum up a piece of paper or lint that just won't come up does that ever happen to you you're vacuuming and there's something on the ground and you go over it with perfect technique and brush back and it doesn't come up and so you go at it from another angle at several times and it doesn't come up and so you get at another angle and you with with all the power of the Lord in you you do all things through Christ who gives you strength and when it doesn't come up what do you do you reach down you pick up the piece of lint you look at it and then what do you do you throw it back down and you try again what do you do when you go at it from every angle and you can't seem to forgive this message will be painful for some gut wrenching and agonizing but I hope you'll understand that God tells us clearly as followers of Christ that we are to forgive three different portions of Scripture Matthew's Gospel chapter 5 verse 43 and 44 Jesus said you've heard that it was said love your neighbor and hate your enemy that sounds like a good plan to me right a lot of the people who are nice to you and hate the people that are mean to you but Jesus says I tell you love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you Paul said this if he sins chapter 4 verse 32 be kind and compassionate to one another forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you Jesus is words in Matthew chapter 6 we'll stop you in your tracks he says this if you forgive other people and they sin against you your heavenly Father will also forgive you but if you do not forgive others their sins your father will not forgive your sins God tells us clearly to forgive if we are to forgive what does that mean really what do we do how do we do it what does it mean to forgive in order to really understand what it does mean to forgive let's first start with what it does not mean to forgive what is forgiveness not give you a couple things first of all we need to understand that forgiveness is not forgetting to forgive doesn't necessarily mean you wipe your brain you have no memory no recollection whatsoever it's not saying it never ever happened it's not just sweeping it under the rug it's not saying what that person did to you wasn't completely wrong wasn't sinful it's not saying you have to be a doormat the rest of your life you have to allow them to continue to abuse you continue to hurt you and you need to just smile and take it for the glory of Jesus and still send them Christmas cards and always put a heart emoji on everything they post on Instagram that's not necessarily what forgiveness is you can actually forgive someone and still create healthy boundaries you can forgive someone and say yes I've let it go but we need to rebuild trust to get back to where we were before because of the consequences of what you did we can forgive and still need to rebuild a relationship over time in other words forgiveness is not always forgetting what else is forgiveness not forgiveness also isn't fair there's nothing fair about it at all I just let you off for no reason and everything you did that was wrong is just now gone it's not fair not natural it's fair to pay them back you hit me on the cheek is fair that you got one coming back right you hurt one of my children justice says I get to do something bad Jesus says pray for your enemies okay that's fair I'll pray for my enemies I pray you get hemorrhoids in your ears now that's fair I don't even know that's possible I think it's probably not but nevertheless that's why you go to a doctor for medical advice and not your pastor it's not fair whenever my sister had the courage to tell us what had happened because this man had created a real sense of fear and her and the other girls there was a rage in my heart that's difficult to describe bigger brother protects little sister I can pick on her but nobody else can you know the rules right and the thoughts I had in my mind about what I wanted to do to him because that wasn't fair that he was still respected in our town I want fair God you be fair God you got you be fair what's interesting is we like it when God's not fair to us because he's not always fair he's always just but he's not always fair because if God was always fair then I would get what my sins deserve God's always just but he's not always fair and he's not always fair to our benefit in fact I love the power of Psalm 103 verses 10 11 and 12 it tells us that God does not treat us as our sins deserve he's just but he's not always fair he doesn't repay US according to our iniquities in other words we deserve death we deserve hell we deserve punishment but he gives us grace for as high as the heavens are above the earth so great is his love for those who fear Him as far as the East is from the West so he has removed our transgressions from us forgiveness isn't necessarily the same as forgetting and forgiveness isn't always fair so what is forgiveness forgiveness is giving others what God gave us in Christ forgiveness is offering to other people the same grace that God has offered to us for those of you that are followers of Christ have you been forgiven of anything have you experienced grace that you didn't deserve have you been the beneficiary of the mercy and the goodness of our God I don't know about some of you me some of you may be perfect if you're perfect then you just sit there just look self-righteous because self-righteous people are really good at looking self-righteous just sit there and look self-righteous and polish your halo all day long you perfect thing and please don't come back because this is a place for imperfect people forgiving people people of grace I don't know what you've been forgiven up but oh dear God I've been forgiven as some sins in my life I've been forgiven of stealing like stealing and lying and cheating and having lustful thoughts and having hateful thoughts and doing hurtful things and betraying people I've experienced grace that I did not deserve mercy from my God forgiveness because of Jesus what is forgiveness forgiveness is giving to others the very same thing that our good God has given to us it is the power of the gospel in fact first John tells us this in first John 1:9 that if we confess our sins somebody say sins is that okay to say sins in this culture today because what I read and what I hear is we would nobodies the sinner we're all good people truthfully we're all sinners we have all messed up and sinned against a holy God what the word in the Greek it's a it's an arch to return it simply means to miss the mark you can miss the mark by this much or this much but we've all missed the mark if we confess that before God I'm sorry God I'm sorry I've sinned against you I'm sorry that I did wrong I'm sorry that I was hateful I'm sorry that I was must one sorry that I betrayed somebody I'm sorry God I was so wrong if we confess our sins our God is faithful and just he's not always fair but he's always just he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all on righteousness forgiveness is giving to others what God has given us in other words the gospel isn't just receiving forgiveness but it's giving forgiveness it's not just being the recipient of the grace of God but it's giving His grace to others I'll say this way forgiveness doesn't just flow to us as disciples of Jesus forgiveness flows through us it flows through us it flows through us it's undeserved mercy undeserved grace undeserved goodness to us that continues to flow through us forgiveness doesn't just flow to us it flows through us the question is how's your flow how's your flow in fact the Lord's Prayer I don't know if you know this prayer or not but if you do you may just kind of say it aloud where you are and we'll get to a little part about forgiveness Jesus said this is how you should pray do you want know how to pray you pray our Father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven give us today our daily bread watchword and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass do you really want to pray that forgive me just like I forgive them forgive me as I forgave my boss that I still hate forgive me like I forgave my ex spouse that I just put tacks under the tires I don't know I don't have an ex bounce I'm just making this up yeah forgive me like I forgive others how's your flow forgiveness isn't just that which flows to us but it's that which flows through us why would God ask us to forgive there would be many reasons why he would ask us to forgive but one of the top reasons he would ask you to forgive something that seems unforgivable and isn't fair is because God loves you so much he loves you he doesn't just ask you to forgive someone else to heal the other person he asks you to forgive to help heal you the wound and you in other words forgiving someone else the person that betrayed you the person that lied about you the person that cheated you forgiving them may not set them free but forgiving someone else always sets you free why would God ask you to forgive because he loves you so much I pray I pray so much about this message because I know this brings up so many significant wounds for so many people I hope there's no part of you that hears me say this is easy there's no part that says it's easy easy is to hold a grudge easy is to live in bitterness easy is to wish the worst for someone who deserves something bad easy is to continue to plot to rehearse what they did to rehearse what you will say next time you're there easy is to not talk not try to heal easy is to let the devil continue to split your family easy is to walk in hatred and unforgiveness forgiveness is not easy it's easy to remain bitter it takes faith to forgive increase our faith increase our faith what is faith do faith enables me to see an opportunity for freedom where others only see an opportunity for an offense faith empowers be faith faith doesn't mean that you feel gracious it doesn't mean you feel excited I'm just letting this go in fact you may not feel anything faith often activates long before feelings follow I'm choosing by faith I don't feel it and my flesh I'm still angry and my flesh I still feel betrayed but by faith I'm choosing to offer the same thing that God offered to me forgiveness might be a process it may happen in a moment it may take some time increase our faith it takes faith to forgive it takes faith to believe that on the other side of the offense there's something better than holding a grudge I want to talk to those of you whose marriages may be struggling right now it takes faith to forgive it takes faith it's not easy there's someone that we love that recently there was a significant betrayal in the marriage and now the betrayed spouse biblically you would say has grounds for divorce you committed adultery therefore there is biblical grounds for divorce adultery is biblical grounds for divorce let me remind you adultery is also grounds for forgiveness you can choose to walk away and you can choose to have faith and offer something that someone doesn't deserve I can't tell you what to do and your marriage I can tell you you can get in your face and say you know I don't know the whole story but I can tell you this in the case of every good marriage is always made up of two good forgivers because we're always imperfect and because I need so much grace I want to freely offer grace faith to forgive when you start to pray about think about lean into this you might want to ask the question how much forgiveness do they deserve we're not asking how much forgiveness do they deserve we're asking how much freedom do you desire let it go it takes faith it takes faith it takes faith to forgive it's choosing to say what you did to me is no longer gonna hold me prisoner what you said is not gonna limit my future the betrayal that you did I'm not gonna let it hold me down I'm not gonna let it pollute my heart I'm not gonna let it poison my soul yeah what you said was wrong yeah what you did wasn't fair yes it wasn't right it might have been years of abuse but I'm not gonna let it Rob me from years in my future by continuing to dwell on the past by faith I choose to let it go I'm not a victim anymore I'm not a prisoner it takes faith to forgive I told you three quick examples earlier in the message of those who'd hurt me or hurt my family the friend who hurt my child I'm apologized quickly and said he said I was wrong will you forgive me and at that moment as I've been forgiven for similar offenses I was quick to forgive and said of course I'll forgive you and our friendship is as solid as it's ever been because we are followers of Christ and we choose to forgive now the man who molested my sister that one wasn't so easy he never asked for forgiveness so do I have to forgive I became a follower of Christ holding a grudge and I heard a message similar to this one years and years ago that is I forgive others Jesus will forgive me and I didn't want to withhold what had been offered to me and so my family who was all Christians at the time including my sister who had been the victim of tremendous abuse shows by faith to forgive this man who didn't deserve it I wrote on the note he was on his deathbed dying of muscular sclerosis under the care of hospice and I wrote him a letter on behalf of our family to say that by faith we choose to forgive him as we've been forgiven and told him about the gospel and I heard later on after he had died from the hospice nurse who got in contact with us that the note had not only impacted him in a significant way but had significantly spiritually impacted her we can't change what he did to my sister but we can't let God change our future the second year of the church my close friend who betrayed the integrity of a church I forgave him but it was after he took his life and so I have a little bit of freedom today because I forgave him but not nearly the freedom that I would have had and how could the outcome have possibly been different if we had reconciled earlier in our friendship I know this is tough I know this is tough but sometimes the best healing happens on the other side of pain forgiveness doesn't change the past doesn't change what he did doesn't change what she said doesn't change the betrayal it changes your soul it changes your future what is forgiveness it is giving to others the very same thing that God has given to us so increase our faith God increased our faith and God is I'm speaking into some of the most significant pain today I asked that the power of your Holy Spirit would do what we cannot do God increase our faith to forgive at all of our churches today as you're in God's presence and hearing his word those of you who have been significantly betrayed and you may just want to take a step of faith you may not even feel it but you understand it's the right thing to do or others of you who would say now and the presence in the future I just want more faith to offer what's been offered to me if that's your prayer today increase my faith increase my faith to forgive would you lift up your hands right now this all over the place this all over the place god I thank you for a church full of people that come prepared to hear your word and let your Holy Spirit do a healing work God do spiritual surgery on our hearts today do a healing work god I pray by faith that there are those who've been living in the pain of the past for so long that that pain would start to fade away as your forgiveness washes over us God we know it may not be fair but God as we received raised from you help us to offer forgiveness to others and we know God that this may or may not change them but it always changes us give us faith God faith increase our faith to forgive as you have forgiven us as to keep praying today at all of our churches there would be those of you that that you feel the weight of something that you've done someone you hurt someone you betrayed something you said you shouldn't have said something you did you shouldn't have done somehow you've let others down you've let God down you sinned against God you feel the shame you feel the weight you feel the guilt let me explain to you as clearly as I can the good news the gospel for God so loved you so loved the world that he sent his one and only Son Jesus who was born of a virgin who never ever sinned he was perfect in every way he sent His Son Jesus that whosoever would call upon his name would not perish but would receive eternal life Jesus gave his life on a cross for our sins God raised him from the dead his death created justice he paid the price now God can offer us what we don't deserve his grace his goodness because of what Jesus did Jesus paid the price we get the forgiveness that all of our churches those of you who say I need his grace I need his forgiveness I don't know where I stand with God when you turn from their sins and you call on Jesus he forgives your sins our God is faithful and he is just to forgive us all of our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness as far as the East is from the West so he separates your sins from you and all of our churches does he say I need his grace I want his forgiveness today I turn from my sins I turned toward Jesus Jesus I give my life to you that's your prayer lift your hands I now all over the place to say yes up here in this section right here as well all of you guys on this front row but here praise God for you and right here my goodness right back up here in this section right over here come on church somebody you give our God some praise today right back up here others of you said Jesus pays me forgive my sin search online you click right below me would you all stand to your feet if you're able nobody prays alone in the presence of God His grace his goodness his power his mercy is here would you simply pray aloud with those around you pray Heavenly Father forgive my sins save me Jesus be my lord Holy Spirit fill me so I can follow Jesus so I can show his love so I can walk in freedom and forgive others as you've forgiven me my life is not my own I give it all to you thank you for new life now you have mine in Jesus name I pray for somebody worship our Savior that somebody give him some praise if you've been set free give him a shout of praise the voice of the tree hey thanks for joining us here at Life Church you know if you'd like to learn more about how you can take your next steps in your relationship with Christ we'd love for you to visit Life Church slash next there you'll find all kinds of resources and help as you take those next steps in your relationship with Christ and if you've been enjoying these messages we'd love you to subscribe and be a part of our church community again thanks for joining us and we'll see you next time [Music]

Channel: Life.Church

Views: 52,439

Rating: 4.9273276 out of 5

Keywords: Craig Groeschel, Sermon, Life.Church, Lifechurch, life church, life church sermons, craig rochelle, Betrayal, betrayed, anger management, forgiveness, how to forgive, faith, grace, hurt, how to forgive someone

Id: QKySt8dK7QY

Length: 36min 14sec (2174 seconds)

Published: Sun Nov 03 2019