Forgive yoU // How To Forgive Yourself // FU - Forgiveness University (Part 5) Michael Todd

this is week five of a series we're calling i need everybody in the building to help me say f u and that stands for forgiveness university and i'm glad to let you know right now that you have made it to the halfway point of this series and that means that it's time to start putting what we've learned into action we have spent the last four weeks setting a foundation for forgiveness setting an understanding of what forgiveness is what it isn't how it's supposed to move and how it's supposed to be used in our lives and the one thing i can sum all of that up with is this one definition that i keep giving to every person every week forgiveness is a primary spiritual discipline of every christ follower do not claim christian and you do not forgive i need to be that clear it may be hard for you to do right now that's why you're enrolled in this course right now it may be difficult because of what you've gone through but do not claim christian and think that you can hold everybody accountable for what they've done for you all your life and never release anybody you have to forgive and the reason that i'm saying that to you is because in church all my life forgiveness was said so much that it lost its power oh i need to forgive them i'ma be mad for a little bit but then i'll forgive them come on let's be honest it's like yeah i'm just working on forgiving but nobody actually did it they just said they were gonna do it or said they needed to do it we were never taught how to do it that's why i'm doing 10 weeks on this series because it is a primary spiritual discipline of every believer and somebody's saying well pastor mike what is forgiveness let me give you a definition of forgiveness take me to the big board please forgiveness is the intentional everybody say intentional and voluntary say voluntary so it has to be on purpose and nobody can make you do it it is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim that means it's legitimate they messed you over they did something wrong they abused their power it is legitimate you are the victim i don't want to take that away from anybody because a lot of times people get offended and they don't want to forgive because they want the person to know that what happened to them is legitimate what i'm telling you it did happen it is legitimate you were wronged you were violated so you as the victim you undergo a change or a transformation in your feelings an attitude regarding an offense so they did it and they offended you and because of the power of jesus christ you overcome negative emotions such as resentment and vengeance god wants you to realize that forgiveness is not for them forgiveness is for you and most people don't understand that they feel like they have a power over somebody i ain't forgiving you you ain't never coming to this family reunion again you are never gonna and it's like yo they are living their life not even thinking about you and you're trapped in this whirlwind of thoughts some of y'all got people on your instagram and facebook feed right now that are twisting you around in all kinds of frustration because you're like how they on vacation they don't remember what they did to me how they wish me happy birthday they don't remember what they think they don't even think about it and you're trapped in this because you have not experienced forgiveness and god wants you to be free and so last week again we got an understanding proverbs 4 7. it says wisdom is the principle thing therefore get wisdom and in all you're getting get an understanding so last week we got an understanding now i want to move us into wisdom and wisdom is applied knowledge so now that we understand it it's time to apply it okay now i want to let everybody know i told you for four weeks i'm not gonna ask you to forgive and some church people who are used to everything happening in the same service you've been like when am i gonna forgive when am i gonna forgive and you've been trying to do it in your own way just let the course finished it's been four weeks and i have not asked anybody to forgive anybody but today is your first day of forgiveness today i believe the understanding of it is strong enough and if you haven't watched it go back and watch all four of the other ones but today we're going to apply what we have learned we're going to walk in everybody say wisdom yep and i think that's what the culture is missing right now we have a lot of information not enough wisdom not enough applied knowledge and today i want us to walk in wisdom and so who are we gonna forgive pastor mike i have so many people on my list who am i gonna forgive my dad today my mom my coworker that really made a rude comment about my hair and i really was going for that look and i hate them now am i going to forgive my teacher who smoke down on me am i going to forgive my spouse that person would probably be good because we sleep in the same bed and it's just really been cold for the past five years am i going to forgive my siblings who i'm not looking forward to going to thanksgiving with them or christmas with them am i going to forgive even my pastor the one who did the wrong thing to me and and and used me for my gift but didn't see my calling who am i going to forgive today pastor mike none of them the first person that you're going to forgive today which is usually the last person that you think about today i want to say to you f you forgive you today i don't want to talk about forgiving anybody else externally today i want to talk about forgiving the one who it's the hardest to forgive forgiving the one who was there forgiving the one who sent the text forgiving the one who made the inner vow forgiving the one who made a timeline and because of a decision that i made i missed the opportunity that i thought was going to change everything and i've been silently holding myself responsible for not being in the place that i thought i should be today fu forgive you why don't we start with the person that you would like to deflect the light from i just i just walked around for many years trying to get this concept for other people and i never gained the freedom for myself and i'm scared that too many people have their list of people that have wronged them and that they want to forgive now but then they can forgive all of those people you've gone to the gravesite and cried over the over the um graveside and you've and you've gone and written letters to them and you've done all of these other things and you still feel trapped because the one person that you've never forgiven is yourself so we're going to forgive mom and damn we're going to forgive pops we're going to forgive everybody that hated on us but let's start with forgiving you look what the scripture says about it and i want you to write this point down because i think this will help you because there's people right now that this is it feels uncomfortable but i promise you by the end of it you're going to know you're worth being forgiven selfish forgiveness is the first step to selfless forgiveness selfish forgiveness talking about you forgiving you is the first step to actually being selfless in forgiveness look what mark 8 36 says for what doesn't profit a man to gain the whole world have right relationships with everybody else everybody else has been forgiven everybody else is walking in relationship with you at a great level and lose his own soul mind will and emotions isn't that where the battle happens on the inside of me in my mind my will and my emotion i be seeing people how many people right now talk to yourself come on let's be let's be honest come on oh my god why did you even say that you sounded like such a dweeb when you said that oh my god i look good today oh my god like and you do all of this stuff in your self-talk and if we were to play out loud the dialogue you have with yourself you would be your worst critic if we were to even the people who act like they got it all together and prideful and acting like they all of that honestly all of that is is a a a a mass for how you actually feel about yourself and what i found out in this is that god doesn't want you to forgive everybody else and forget you don't forgive everybody else and forget you that's why forgiveness is your key somebody say forgiveness is the key say it again forgiveness is the key let me give them an actual example see what what forgiveness does is it locks you up it puts me in the chains hold on one second let me wipe my thing okay it puts me in a change go ahead now ouch why you put me in like that see the thing about this right now is i can get an instruction lift your hands and raise and praise god yeah i'm i'm going to a limit um tie your shoe okay like basic things i'm chained but the crazy thing about forgiving you is it doesn't take anybody else to do this work it takes you because you have the key like when he put the chains on me i have the key so even though i want to focus on what everybody else needs i need to slow down enough to put the key in now i got the key no but you coming over and you're going to chain me again you're going to come back in here and offend me again you're going to come and say something different hold on before i act out of what they did i got a key i can actually forgive myself for actually going to the party yeah i know i want to i want to um talk about the offense that happened at the party but the problem is if i wouldn't have gone it would have never happened so i need to forgive me for even deciding to go to that school even choosing that degree even getting married to that person i need to let myself go for letting my kids go spend the night at their house they would have never been abused if i would have said no and what god is saying that even when you forgive everybody else you can still be sitting here in prison because i did text back i thought it was just gonna be a cute little like i was just feeling better bad about myself so i thought the relationship was just gonna be like a cute little thing that i could you know i'm saying have on the weekends and it turned into a three-year abusive relationship if i wouldn't have been on instagram and many of us get external healings but we still have internal failures and so we never forgive ourselves for the internal failures but you have the key forgive yourself let yourself go you don't need your husband to do this you don't need your kids to do this you don't need you don't need anybody you have the key and even though this hand is free this hand still bears the scars but i still have the key and i just came to tell somebody by the spirit of god that the things that have been holding you i'm taking my time on this because it's going to take you a minute to understand that you're worth being forgiven the things that have been chaining you god gives you the key it does not matter if they bring another set of handcuffs i still have the key it doesn't matter if i move to another town and get in another job and get offended the same way when they put the cuffs on me i can control forgiving myself somebody say i got the key say it again i got the key so what do you want me to do pastor mike forgive you first forgive you first somebody needs to this week get on your phone and i'm going to do this because i had to do it in one of the hardest places in my life some of you know my testimony but when when uh me and pastor now we were high school sweethearts i just feel like can i be raw today charles can i just like because this is not for the ones who come just fanfare i'm trying to get somebody changed and transforming me and pastor nat we've been together since i was 15 14 years old and so what ends up happening in this moment is i i come into relationship with her and and we're on our road to get married in and then i cheat on her and i i literally sacrificed everything that god gave me that was good for a moment of pleasure that ended up robbing me for years to come and i worked so hard on making the relationship right with her that i hated looking at me like i was literally going through so much here's my cell phone i'll never do that again that when i got by myself i didn't even like i remember not looking myself in the mirror or getting dressed in the dark or being able because i didn't want to see what i caused myself and i know everybody's not there right now but you might be in a different season and this word may help you what you need to do this week is look yourself in the mirror and you need to get your cell phone out and just say michael i forgive you come on somebody needs to do it right now get your cell phone out see this is the first time because some of you when you look at you you see what you did you see the guilt you see the shame you see the pain you look at the situation but go and get your cell phone out right now and don't look at me on the screen look at yourself and i want you to say that you forgive yourself i forgive you come on michael i forgive you say your name come on say it again michael i forgive you do you know how awkward this is for so many right now what i'm trying to do is get you out of hey i need to forgive you do you see what you did to me forgive me i want to forgive you and god says turn it on you i forgive you for answering that phone call i forgive you for actually doing the action i forgive you for forfeiting what god had for you in that season i forgive you and if i forgive you what it does is remind me of how much i need him because i am projecting what other people think about me i know what you think about you i know i know that everything that you did wasn't an accident i know that you meant to do some of that stuff i know you planned it i know you have thoughts that if she doesn't sleep with me tonight then you're just gonna come home and watch pornography and masturbate i know i know you and today i'm forgiving you i'm releasing you i'm taking back what the enemy has tried to use as a pawn to keep me in prison and i'm submitting myself openly to god and i'm telling you that no matter where we are today i forgive you if we're in a marriage that's horrible i forgive you if we're the one causing abuse to somebody else i don't know if i can make it right with them but today i gotta free you i forgive you i gotta see myself differently than i've seen myself before and today this may be the hardest step of forgiveness that i take but if i can get it right with me i so can get it right with them i forgive you where the organ where the shout ain't gonna be none of that see because the intimacy that you have to get in to forgive yourself is one that maybe they can't be a lot of people around for see the thing that i need everybody to understand is that forgiveness taking this time and being selfish enough to say i need to forgive me allows you to be reminded of what you actually did and who you actually are and it does something to you it humbles you when i think about who i really am at the heart level without god and what i've done and even though i point the finger at everybody else but i think about the times that i tried to manipulate my way into situations and try to get this to happen and i hurt that person and i intentionally made a joke about them because i felt insecure about myself so let me make them feel bad about themselves to make me feel all the times i did it on purpose it makes me humbled and this is one of the key ingredients that's missing from forgiveness because you cannot forgive anybody else in pride to be forgiven and understand all that you have done and god still says i forgive you it humbles you it brings you lower it makes the self less let me let me give you an example since we're in college do y'all remember this symbol the less than and greater than symbol do you all remember that and if it faces a certain way it means less than and if it faces the other way it means greater than when you actually forgive you and you get reminded of all the things god said yeah i'll forgive that and i'll let you free from that and i'll give you the key to let go of that what ends up happening is self is less needing an apology from them so i want an apology but because i've been humbled by the forgiveness that i needed for me myself is less than i don't need an apology i can release you even if you don't ever acknowledge that you did it i feel the presence of god coming in this place to help somebody this is why you got to forgive you first because we have a plan of how we want it to happen but what you got to know is self has to be less than what's the next one what people will think well if i just let them go that they're going to think i'm weak and my mama raised me to be hard you know i'm saying i'm a strong single woman and i'll bust your head play nook if you buck if you want to and see what i do stilettos pumps in the club and you do things come on let's be honest how many of us do things because of what others think and god says when you become humbled before me and you realize how much forgiveness you need self is less than what people think self becomes less than this is a big one revenge i'm gonna forgive them once they feel what they did to me and that i'm i'm going to intentionally make them feel how they made me feel and after i know that their heart has been broken like my heart do y'all know that how many relationships especially in marriage that when somebody cheats on them then the spouse now cheats on them that's not because the spouse wanted to cheat it's because i'm not gonna forgive you until you experience what i felt and so self is not less than revenge what is it self is greater than and this is where pride comes in and god's saying the reason you have to start forgiving you because it makes you aware of the forgiveness that you need and it brings you low when i was in that moment and i'm sitting there crying to natalie about how bad i messed up and how bad i want her heart to trust me again and that i know this is going to be a process self was less than anything else the only way that i was able to forgive me was to put myself low and then i said god you're gonna have to help me he said no i'm not you did what i said in my word you humbled yourself he said this is the greatest thing any believer can learn is to humble yourself so i don't have to i said you're gonna have to give me bible he said great i got it for you he i want you to go to first peter 4 6 he said michael when you forgive you you get humbled and what you need to realize i'm telling you humble yourself humble you under the mighty hand of god and then watch this and at the right time he will lift you up in honor they told me this week that relationship goals the book which is based off of me and natalie's relationship is the number nine top selling book in the world out of every book that's been made over two hundred thousand titles in twenty twenty let me help you understand that people know me for my relationship now that's how they know me but how how it started was in humility we're looking to be relationship goals when god says i need you to just humble yourself i need you to get in a place where you face what has happened take ownership of that thing and you can be able to humble yourself and start with forgiving you write this point down forgiving you produces humility and humility is required to forgive anyone else this is why i'ma see if people gonna stay a part of this class cause this one is gonna hurt to actually look at what you have done and not be prideful about it and put it on them well pastor you don't understand my situation i understand i don't understand your situation but is there anything in you that needs to be brought low and this is the scripture that reminds me all the time psalms 138 6 even though the lord is high above he sees humble people close up if you're humble close and he recognizes arrogant people from a distance he still recognizes you but he's further away and how many people just raise your hand right now need help for giving come on i need help forgiving i need god i need the holy spirit i need baby jesus i need all of them i need help forgiving well god says if you need my help he said you got to be humble so if you need that help you got to get humble if not you're trying to get assistance from a distance this is how many people live their christian life they don't want to change anything they want salvation but they don't actually want to walk in regeneration they don't want to have sanctification they don't want to walk worth anything and so what they do is they say i'm saved but god i need your help and he said the sin in your life the people you keep accusing the things that you're doing you don't put me close you put me at a distance and i don't know about you but if i'm gonna actually be able to forgive i don't need assistance from a distance i need god to be close to me for the things that i have to forgive for i need him to be close humility produces closeness with god some of you right now don't even want to accept this word you're thinking like what's td jake talking about what's steven furtick talking about and this is the word that you need right now to be able to get off of everybody else externally and deal with you somebody say i'm going to forgive me mark 12 30. thank you holy spirit and you must love the lord your god with all your heart all your soul all your mind and all your strength secondly and it's equally important love your neighbor as you love your neighbor as you no commandment is greater than these okay pastor mike you're saying i gotta love my neighbor what does it mean to love i'm glad you asked let's go to first corinthians 13. love is patient kind it does not envy it does not boast it is not proud it is not rude it is not self-seeking it is not easily angered can we stop there no we got to keep going it keeps no account of wrong love forgives love takes no pleasure and evil but rejoices in the truth i came to tell somebody that you need to forget the who and you need to focus on you forgive you f you forgive yourself for making that inner vow that you would be married by 26 and now you're 32 and you feel like if i would have just done this this could have happened forgive yourself for the personal promise that you broke i'm gonna be a virgin until i get married and it was that one night at prom that you decided to do this thing and it happened and then it spiraled into habits that now are your lifestyle forgive you for your predetermined deadlines that you set that by this time i'm gonna be a millionaire and now every moment after that time is miserable because of something not god said but you said forgive yourself for taking advantage of people in situations some of you were manipulators of situation manipulators of your parents manipulators or boyfriends and girlfriends or co-workers forgive you for the immaturity some of us have just made dumb decisions because we didn't know can we be honest there were some dumb things that i did just because i was immature and those immaturities had real-life adult consequences and i have to forgive myself for what i did forgive yourself for the neglect some of you are bad parents some of you were bad parents i don't know all of the things that went around it i don't know all of the hurts that you were dealing with but now you look at your kids in the place that they are and every time you see them you can't rejoice in any good because you still haven't forgiven you i know nobody talks about this i know this is not sexy but the relationship that's strained with you and that family member is because of something you actually did say you said it when they were out of the room they found out about it and now your relationship is broken and you still haven't forgiven you yourself for the thoughts of jealousy that pushed you away from people that god called to you those people were supposed to be in your life but because you got jealous of them you pushed them away and now you're walking in isolation and you're making up things like nobody's for me i just feel like i'm called to walk alone and god's like no i sent you jerome and jerome was supposed to walk with you but you pushed them away because they got a job promotion and you did it or because they got this thing and god's saying forgive yourself for the part you played in that and this is a big one forgive yourself for the flagrant fouls the things you did fl flag flagrantly one of the things that i know about myself is when i was in that situation and i you already know i can't teach on nothing that i'm not going through or that i've gone through i have to be that authentic but when i cheated on pastor natalie a lot of those things were not accidents excuse me none of them no nobody made me get in the car and drive at that time of night to that person's house to take them to the gas station that was flagrant nobody made me ignore the phone call when the holy spirit was sending somebody to disrupt the flow of what was happening god was giving me a way of escape and i ignored it what happens when god performs his word in your life and you hit ignore what if he gives you away and you are intentionally jumped over the hurdle he put a speed bump and you ran right through it flagrant fouls i made and i tried to get it right with them and them and them and them and god said you still didn't forgive you i feel the presence of god right now it's time for you to forgive you all right i'm gonna be very practical with this because i know i've been building this but the reason that this is so deep in me because i walked around for almost a decade actually holding myself accountable for the mental space i was in for the emotional space i was in and i never knew that i had the key the whole time i had the key to get out of this and god wants to give you the key today so write this down i'm gonna give you just a few points right now if you're going to forgive you the first thing you're going to have to do is face you you got to face you and the only way you can face you is to actually look at you actually get a mirror of what is going on and i'm not just talking about a regular mirror the mirror that god gives us spiritually is his word our spiritual mirror is the word of god when i read the bible your attitude is nasty when i read that's why y'all stay away from it because if you actually start reading it it shows you what's on you it's the only book that you read it and it reads you i cannot hide that i'm walking in pride when i read the word i cannot hide that i'm in sexual temptation when i read the word when i put that mirror on me and i start looking at what god says is good and what grace looks like and what his love looks like i see clearly i'm not walking in love and see what happens is we have interactions with people and i have an interaction with charles and i'm like yo bro i love what god's doing in your life man and i i appreciate you but i'm really hating on the inside and i don't i can't wear a whole um pajama suit to leave praise and worship and i can't i can't put one on yourself i can't even i can't even you know what i'm saying my kids you know what i'm saying they can't they can't look as cute you got blue-eyed kids and all my kids and and i walk away from that situation and you see me but i don't see me see the problem if you don't face you you will walk around like everything's great blessed and highly favored god is moving in my life i don't have unforgiveness for anybody and everybody sees like you angry you're mad you're bitter you have spite you actually hate your parents but it's not until you get into the word of god that's why i'm proud that you're here that's why i'm glad that you keep coming back every week cause when you crack open the word of god it puts a oh shoot what in the world this don't even go with who i want to be this doesn't even even match my character this is not even who i'm supposed to look like i thought i was up here looking professional and i look like a fool because i have not fully faced me and today i don't know who you are but some of you need to face you you need to get in the word of god you need to keep coming back to this series you need to replay this message so that god can say hey that's an area you need to forgive look at james 1 23. here's some bible for you for anyone who hears the word but does not carry it out oh you're in trouble if you're watching this right now cause you're now accountable for what god's giving you right now if you hear the word but you don't actually forgive you you don't actually forgive others watch what it says it's like a man who looks at his own face in a mirror and after observing himself goes away immediately and forgets what he looks like i did not make that up that is the bible it would be like me coming in here and saying dang i look bad dang i look good what's going on with my face what's going on with your face get your face like mine that's what happens when you tune in the transformation church and you get your spiritual high but you don't plan to go live nothing this week that's what happens ah when god tells you you need to be convicted of that and i'm gonna lovingly give you grace and then you keep going to the club and hooking up with people and your lifestyle hasn't changed he said you're like a man who sees it and then forgets what he looks like you have what i call spiritual amnesia and the reason that you can't forgive nobody else it's cause you won't face you and today i'm coming to encourage you it may be hard to look at yourself like this it may be difficult to be able to see all of the spots that have happened through your life but i'm telling you if you face you then god can fix you if you face you i said it god can fix you i believe by the power of the holy spirit that through this series god's gonna allow you by his word to see exactly the spot where it's at the exact when i'm looking at his word he can reveal to me it was when you were six years old and your aunt told you that thing that's where fear came in but until you face you god can't fix you let me give you the next thing you're gonna have to do if you forgive you you're gonna have to own you you can't just face you own that it was on there on that it's been there take oh watch this cuss word responsibility i know it was 95 their fault but the only thing you can control is what god is doing in you on the five percent everybody say own it yeah yeah it's time if you're gonna be able to forgive you it can't be all them there was a time there was a moment that that maybe you did one little thing and yes they are the one who did i can't fix them but i can't own me and what god is saying to his people today is like i don't care if they ever recognize how they damaged you i care that you are healed forgive you face you on you look what the bible says in galatians six three if anyone thinks they're something when they're not they deceive themselves each one should test their what's that word own actions then they can take pride in themselves alone without comparing themselves to someone else i don't have to worry what everybody else is doing when i take responsibility for my own actions for each one should carry there watch this on load like whatever my load is it's not compared to your load but my own load i'm taking that nevertheless the one who receives instruction in the word should share all good things with their instructor that's why i'm talking to you today because i learned to carry my own load as a pastor my staff my wife everybody will tell you i will say where i messed up i will tell people that was my pride i will tell people we've had brees sitting here our chief of staff there's been so many times where i came in i was like even with me releasing music and stuff like that we've done this probably three times in the past six years where i've been like this day i'm releasing music it's god's timing for me and we're gonna see a breakthrough and i will come back after we've spent money after we've used time i thought and drove my wife crazy i'll be like um uh let me get lower let me humble myself i know i'm the pastor of the church and i know that i'm supposed to hear from the lord for everybody but can i own me real quick i was getting frustrated about where the ministry was in the music department and so i decided to take matters into my own hands and i thought i was going to do something to help god but i was wrong and so i apologize for for what i did what my part my own load in making this hard for the whole staff and team and natalie i need to tell you that i apologize to you for the times that i was giving you attitude and i was angry at you because i had made something in my mind that you weren't supporting my dreams but you were actually there as a guard rail to help me stay in focus but because i had the wrong perspective i need to own that i did give you attitude and that one time i forgot about that thing i didn't really forget i just wanted you to feel how i felt i wanted you to feel unsupported and so at this current moment i need to own me i'm teaching now and the problem with you is that you want it to be everybody else and you won't own your load i know they did the majority of it but the piece i got i'ma own it yeah natalie had sex with another dude when we were not together so i felt insecure so i had sex with somebody but she didn't make me do that i did that was the way i thought i'd feel better but i gotta own me god's not going to call you and your offender up and judge you he's not gonna call you and everybody who contributed to you making that decision up before the great white throne it's going to be you and my question is on earth will you have faced you and will you have owned you own your own load because it's a key for you to actually forgive you let me tell you the next one you need to remind you see after you face you and you see all of the ugly and you own you because you actually did it they need you you need to remind you of who god calls you to be you're not what you did you're who he says you are see this is where the enemy tries to trick people and this is where people fall in the pit of depression they face themselves and they own it and then they don't get reminded of what god says about them and that's why the word of god is so important in your life because failure is an event it is not a person failure is an event i failed at that i failed in that situation i failed at that marriage but i'm not a failure somebody needs to hear me say that i failed getting into that college i failed being able to make that team i failed being able to raise those kids but i'm not a failure failure is an event it is not a person and that's why the enemy really plays with people he toys with them with the controller of guilt and shame but i need to you to understand because you owned it and you faced it but you got to remind yourself of who god says you are guilt is feeling bad for what you did but shame is feeling bad for who you are and god's saying i died for both of them for the guilt and the shame on the cross he stretched out his arms and he died for guilt and shame and i come to encourage somebody today that as you start on this journey of forgiving you then you're going to remember all of these things and you're going to be like oh i deserve this i deserve the consequences and god said will you remind yourself remind you of who i said you are you're a child of god according to john john 1 and 12. i'm a friend of jesus according to john 15 15 i have been justified and redeemed according to romans 3 24. myself my own self my thought self my player self was crucified with christ and i am no longer a slave to sin according to romans 6 i'm worthy i'm called i'm chosen god has a plan for me remind you of who god says you are because when you forgive you god says and i still choose you like with every do y'all realize it wasn't that long ago that pastor mike was a really bad person like you would say don't date him don't hang out with him don't like him and with all my mess when i reminded myself of who god said i am he gave me the courage to move past where i was because he had a greater future for me than i even saw for myself and today as you face you i'm giving you practical steps right here then you're gonna own you yeah i did it but then you're gonna remind you that god sees more in you than anybody that has ever been around you somebody needs to get that so clearly i'm gonna keep moving but there is somebody that's pulling on me because you're saying there's no way that god still sees good in me he created you so there is good in you because he is good and everything he puts his hand in and blows his breath into is good you may have not had a good season or a good chapter but the best days of your life if you allow it to be are right in front of you you gotta face it you gotta own it but you gotta remind yourself that before you were in your mother's womb god knew you he had plans for you plans to prosper you you will live and not die somebody's pulling on me right now i bind the spirit of suicide and depression and anxiety that has been trying to take somebody out god says i love you more than your failure and today i'm reminding you that this is just a chapter turn the page this is just a chapter somebody say turn the page turn the page where you've been is not where god has for you this is temporary this is not the destination this is just transportation turn the chapter turn the page she somebody pulling on me charles cause somebody was about to give up somebody started to think about all the things that they did and they were about to give up but god came to remind you today that this is not the end so you're going to face you you're going to own you then you're gonna remind you and then watch this one because it's the one we don't like to talk about in church then you're gonna grieve you you're gonna grieve the you that you thought it was gonna be you're going to grieve the family you thought you were going to have you're going to grieve the career that you laid down to follow god and that hasn't panned out to be what you practically saw being in the other grieve it feel it the holy spirit is okay with you taking a moment and saying this sucks i didn't i didn't expect for i didn't expect for that one moment of a mistake to turn into 10 years of marriage counseling i didn't i didn't expect for my wife not to trust me i ain't done nothing in years years and my phone went dead in the car and now she pissed when we get home because she felt like she felt back then when i wasn't answering the phone on purpose but i wasn't doing it on pr this sucks it sucks to to actually be honoring somebody and they think that you're trying to take from them or steal the spotlight or steal the like when i gave up that six-figure job i thought god was going to provide from glory to glory faith to face next level and i'm in this one-bedroom apartment and i had to give up all of my investment this sucks it's a part of forgiving you you can grieve it you can feel can i prove it to you the bible dedicates an entire chapter to lamenting it's called lamentations do you know what that word means a song of sorrow god divinely let there be an entire chapter in the bible of billy eilish songs like oh i had a dream i got everything i wanted like sad son like songs of sorrow some of the other people like billy eilish all that knows billy holiday i only know billy joel like okay like but let me give another one um um songs of sorrow like bone thugs in harmony me at the crossroads songs of sorrow what you gonna do and not gonna miss everybody i'm not gonna save you that like that is a sad so like it's getting you thinking about people dying before it even happened this sucks but the holy spirit is okay with that being part of your process face you own you remind you and then grieve you grieve the body size you thought you were gonna be you wanted kids didn't want roles god kids and roles the god of abundance grieve it feel it but don't stay there acknowledge it write it in your journals tell your therapist but this is not my end destination and that's where the enemy tries to get you to stay in grief but god said this is just another step to forgiving you so we face you own you remind you grieve you lament and then i want you to insulate you i need you to bring some people around you i need you to get in community because the enemy's plan of isolation is for you to go through this process alone bri charles amber wilk bishop come here see the thing that you need to know is that when i'm falling apart in my life what god does is bring people around me ah and this is what he wants to do for you and he's a real people for me like he brings people around you that can actually insulate you yeah well i need somebody big right here cause right now i'm falling apart right now i don't even have the strength to even act like this is something that i can go through my son turns five tomorrow and he still has autism and what's going on in my life i don't know if i can be able to do by myself did we give him the wrong medicine god did we do something that wasn't right today got anything that i did i got to forgive me but i can't do it because if i didn't have insulation around me i'd fall apart and damage myself more but right now god because you're so good and you've given me community you don't just want me to be able to make it by myself you have now called me to insulate myself thank you jesus and even in this moment god i just thank you for sending people around me god i've never let them a multiplying church i don't know how this works because maybe i spent the money wrong maybe i hired the wrong person maybe i fired the wrong person god thank you for this insulation thank you father that none of these people are my blood um family but you've surrounded with me with people that are different ethnicities and different walks of life and have different things and father i'm secure when i allow myself to be insulated see this is the thing that i want to tell somebody that even right now even right now as you're standing here and you're seeing me do this this was real that this week i'm an enneagram eight so if you know that it's a lot for me to really sew for real emotions i was in an office with my executive team this week crying boo-hooing like a baby in a place of insulation i want to give every man permission this lie that has come from the enemy that you got to hold it all together and you got to walk in you the man of the house that came from an insecure man who has not depended on god god said he's close up to the humble i literally had to look at my staff and tell him i need you i need y'all to help hold me up what god's asking me to do what he's calling me to the prayer god i don't need you i don't need an accolation from fans i need the insulation of people who will walk with this through me and god's saying that the only person that can invite those people in is you you want to forgive you you're going to have to insulate yourself nobody's going to bombard their way into your life and completely be shut out of everything to be there when you think you're ready some of y'all need to go to people and you need to say i need you to walk with me i need to be able to call you when i'm in this moment of temptation matter of fact i need you to call me whenever you feel like it give people permission to insulate you because if you do not this process never finishes you face you you own you and then you face you and you own you and you face you and you own you and then you develop this hardness that's like i can handle it myself i don't need nobody counseling ain't nobody wasting money on that but you i was about to say all this stuff that we waste money on but you're so what does it profit a man or a woman to gain the whole world you got a boat you got three houses you got all the jordans all the hypebeast shoes you got the purses and the coach and the louie and the birkin you got um rent houses and vacation homes you've got all of this but lose your own mind willing emotions because you didn't forgive you and god's saying face you own you remind you grieve you insulate you that's why i i need everybody to be in community in the beginning of the year we're starting up belong groups again and and i'm telling you at transformation church this is great but the way that you get the full experience at a transformation church as you get into community i have community i'm not just a pastor of this church and i reign from all i know i'm crying with people i'm talking to people i'm standing with people i'm going to people's house in the middle of the night and praying and singing over them why because i have to be insulated and then i have to provide other people with the in the insulation two are better than one because when one falls it didn't say if one falls it says when one falls it's going to happen but we'll be there to pick each other up if this is so important that jesus even did it if anybody could walk this world alone and be like y'all fool i got stuff to do stay over there three years that's all i ain't got time to talk to you i'm the son of god all power in my hand no but he chose to insulate himself with 12 men and then a core of three do y'all remember when jesus was in the garden and he was praying before he went to the cross and he asked three of his disciples to come with him and they fell asleep this is such a beautiful picture to me of insulation community because they were bad friends at that moment they weren't perfect people they were people who fell asleep when jesus needed them he came back gave him another opportunity guess what snooze button they went to sleep again but jesus still considered it even if it wasn't perfect it was purpose that he had people around him so if it was good for the son of god our example why would you go through any process alone insulate you let me give you the last two you need to value you that's all i've been trying to get you to do like y'all know this is the first time we're actually this week going to forgive somebody and it's f you it's forgiving you value you can i say something very very very important for you to know you're worth it you taking this time and holding space for you to be able to do this process it's worth whatever you lose it's worth not getting likes on instagram it's worth not going to the ball game it's worth your husband or your wife having to make time and understand that you need to do this because you're only feeding them out of the emptiness that is in you you only can give what's actually there and god's saying i want to fill you up where there's no hole at the bottom of the cup i want you to live out of your overflow so you remember i came that you might have life and have life to the full you can't live full when you're leaking forgive you value you i'm going to say something that most pastors won't say but i'm a firm believer in this for many of you to walk through the healing that you need you need a counselor you need a therapist you need a christian counselor that will help you unpack your baggage that was like the fourth choice down on my list right there i had a lot of other words i wanted to say and i know you've learned how to cope with it it's worth you paying somebody less shoes more healing less vacations more freedom less instagram pictures more identity i know don't nobody want to hear this because i'm messing up their 2021 plans but less flexing and more oh jesus forgiveness i'ma be honest with you me and pastor natalie have been in intensive counseling for the season of life we're walking through for the past two years your pastor has a therapist that i go see all the time and it's expensive it's cars like i could be driving a car instead of going to see julianne in colorado i love you boo she is a part of me and natalie's family not because she went through what we've gone through it's because she helped us forgive ourselves it's because she's helped us unpack all the trauma and what i'm saying to you is that it's worth it value you more than a new plastic surgery or a haircut or a trend that will be out in six months value the only thing you're gonna live with for the rest of your life you forgive you value you i'm gonna give you my last one because i'm over time you're worth it do you know how much you're worth it look what god says in romans 8 16 he says for the spirit joins with our spirit to affirm you when somebody comes to affirm you they're telling you like yes you are that yes you are valuable yes you are the spirit comes to affirm that we are god's children do you know what happens when you realize who your daddy is my daughters and son have a different swag because of who their daddy is like not because i present that i'm some great it's my track record with them of doing what i said i will do being there and showing compassion and love that when they walk around they will tell people my daddy said i can have this well it cost six dollars i don't matter to call my daddy said this is mine why it's because they've been affirmed in private they they have confidence in public because the the affirmation in private and god's saying you're my child the spirit affirms this you're my children and since we are his children i'm gonna upgrade the title we are his heirs we've been so broke all of our life we don't understand heirs heirs is like the generational blessing like like there are heirs that never met the person who made the wealth but because they're in the family line they get to walk in the same benefit and god is saying that you're not just my children you are heirs in fact together with christ we are the heirs of god's glory but if we share in his glory watch this we must also share in his suffering if we share in the glory of being able to forgive we also must share in the suffering of being able to extend forgiveness last one if you're going to forgive you i'm just begging you embrace you embrace you right where you are right now make space give yourself the permission to just embrace yourself come on just hug yourself right there like that like come on just put your arms around yourself embrace you this is who i am today come on just i have anxiety attacks i'm jealous i'm money hungry i'm i i'm really jealous of my friend's relationship come on wherever you are i'm not asking you to change it now just embrace it i act like i read the bible but i'm actually very intimidated by the word of god i'm i'm still dabbling in pornography i love my family i don't like them embrace you wherever you are right now i'm very awkward about my identity i don't know what god's calling me to do i'm very unsure of my purpose it's okay embrace you just take this moment i thought we would be farther by now me and my husband plan to be in a house by now we don't want our kids growing up like this it's okay i know some of you want the service to be over but the only thing that you can do right now is embrace where you're at it's not going to change today or tomorrow but you can embrace this moment i thought i would be further i thought i would make more money i thought my kids would appreciate me more i thought my world would my impact would be worldwide right now but it's literally in my room embrace it this is where i'm at and god's saying right from here right from this place of pain you can forgive you from right here [Music] from this moment all we're going to do from right here this week you're going to make space some of you need to get off of social media the rest of this week yep some of you need to all the plans you had you need two hours every day just to go through this process and embrace it oh do you really want to change or you thought it was going to happen in a sunday service and you got a sprinkle and a touch and you was able to go it took 30 years for you to be this messed up and you won't give god 30 days to change it what are we going to do how are we going to move what is our response f you i'm gonna forgive you yeah i'm gonna forgive you michael i'mma face you i'm gonna own you yeah i'ma remind you of who god calls you i'm gonna grieve the idea of your daughters not ever hearing that you cheated on their mommy i'm agree i'm gonna grieve that i'm gonna have to explain it to him i'm gonna have to tell him that daddy was not an example of a god that you need to trust your heart with i'm grieving it the only way i'm going to make it through that is because i'm going to insulate yeah i'm going to i'm going to bring people around me to be in the fight with me to join arms with me to pray for me to pray through it with me to call me out when i'm on my bull and to stand with me when i'm feeling beaten yeah and i'm gonna value i'm going to value me i'm going to value me enough to in the middle of the success of relationship goals being a new york times bestseller i'ma value me enough to go ahead and honor god and honor the word and go on sabbatical and yeah it means i'm going to come off the new york times bestseller and yeah that means money is going to be taken out of my pocket for my family and yeah that mean but i think i'm worth more than what i can produce i'ma value me i'm not i'm not defined by what other people think of me i'm defined by who god says i am i'm gonna value me and even if it's one inch a year one inch a month one inch a week i'm going to embrace where i'm at right now nephew forgive you i've taken all this time to lay out a practical plan for you to humble yourself and say god whatever you want to do in me here i am i can't control them but i got the key to this if i put my life in your hands i can be free if that's you wherever you are right now i want to pray for you if that's you you're saying i want to make this step i want to forgive myself i'm saying fu to myself and i'm telling you this week you need to put your cell phone up and just say i forgive you i want you to post it i don't you don't got to give no explanation to anybody else in the world but i just want you to post i forgive you and i'm gonna do it too i'ma i'm gonna stand and i'm gonna say michael i forgive you and people all over the world will be interested what are they forgiving themselves for it doesn't matter because this is a process that god is going to affirm privately and it's going to show up in my life publicly but i will forgive and it's going to start with me father i pray right now for every person every brother and sister that is under the sound of my voice father god i believe your spirit is working right now father you're uncovering and uncapping old whales of hurt and pain frustration lies father god and i thank you right now by your spirit you are coming to help people walk through this process of forgiveness father they will not and start with forgiving others but by your spirit father they're going to be able to walk through this process of forgiving themselves i pray for freedom i pray for the keys father god for them being able to unlock themselves from childhood wounds unlock themselves from fragrant situations that they put themselves in to unlock themselves to own themselves to give themselves the ability to value and embrace this moment right now god i'm praying that you bring godly people all around them father to insulate them god i thank you that this week will be massive deliverance not because of what somebody else did but because we looked in the mirror and we faced it and what your spirit is going to do in our lives today we trust you as tears are flowing all over the world right now as hearts are being moved right now we're saying make us over again yeah that's what i hear the holy spirit say make me over again say lord make me oh come on just say [Music] [Music] come on just confess [Music] again do it in me first god somebody say say make me over again come on just say that again just cry out say make me up in this empty arena card i'm crying out show me me make me over again if you're under the sound of my voice and you want to ask christ into your life this is the best time to do it like when you about to go on this journey of trying to get free the bible says that the holy spirit which comes to us in salvation his one of his names is the paraclete the one who comes alongside of us to help us and what god wants to do is he wants to help you but he's a gentleman he's not going to knock your life door down and i am the holy one of israel let me in the bible says he stands at the door and he knocks and today god's been knocking on somebody so you don't even know why you're watching this you don't even know how you got in the room you don't even know why you stayed at that person's house and why this is on right now and god's saying i do because this was a divine setup for you to receive salvation if you want to receive that today all you have to do according to romans 10 9 is believe and confess that jesus christ is lord and he died for you that's what i did when i believed it was the thing that changed me i repented i turned from what i was going to and i turned to god and the rest of this i know religion is going to tell you need to clean up you need to change this you need to stop smoking you need to stop drinking no no no no no god is gonna help you do that when you look at the mirror of the word you're gonna start seeing there's things that don't line up with it but god's saying salvation grace is available to you right now and if you give him your habits he'll help you change them and right here you can belong here before you behave that's what happened to me it was my love for god and my understanding for what he did for me that caused me to change that was progression not perfection today i want to offer that to you on the count of three we're about to pray but if you want to be added in that prayer if you're saying pastor i want to start receiving the forgiveness that has already been provided through jesus christ i want you to lift your hands one you're making the greatest decision of your life two it's the thing that took me from being a liar a manipulator of somebody who was all into sexual perversion and it transformed my life three lift your hands right now all over the world i don't care if you're watching this on rebroadcast right now god sees you i don't have to see you god sees you and heaven is rejoicing because we're gonna pray this prayer together and you know transformation nation nobody here prays alone you understand we're going to insulate these people we're going to be their community right now and if that's you i want you to pray this prayer with all of us say father god thank you for forgiving me today i give you my life i ask you to come in i believe you lived and you died just for me change me renew me transform me i'm yours in jesus name amen listen if you just prayed that prayer i want to tell you that all of heaven and everybody in this room is rejoicing over the one person that came to christ when i tell you that everything right now is about to start changing for you if you would allow god to come in and help you and you just did it i want you to text the number on your screen because we want to give you some steps to help you walk this out i'm telling you that week five is just the beginning this is where we start forgiving people but next week we're going to a whole nother level we're about to hit buttons it's about to be surgery but i'm telling you as we make it through this the freedom i feel that's going to happen at christmas the freedom that like literally by the end of this year i feel people are going to be able to spread their wings and fly like never before forgive you i want you to go out and have the best week of your life you are favored you are called you are more than enough you are worthy god loves you and so do we go out and live a transformed life god bless you what's going on family i wanted to come and personally tell you about something that is a tradition here at transformation church at the end of every year we bring our faith our crazy faith to an offering we call it our end of the year offering and what we do is we set aside a moment to ask god hey is there anything you want us to give give to this mission this vision this idea of representing god across the whole world and literally for the past six years we've been doing it and it has been the catalyst for everything else that we've done as a church we've been able to help in sex trafficking we've been able to buy this building and pay for it in five months because of the generosity the cameras that you are watching us on right now were because of somebody's crazy faith to give and in the end of the year offering i think back and literally when the church first started it was the faith of a few people less than 300 who gave 80 000 that produced the cameras that are seeing so many over 19 000 salvations have come this year but it started with the faith of somebody and i want to ask you to partner with us join in not giving an amount asking god is there something you want me to give and i promise you when you ask him he'll speak to you this is not about amounts this is about growing in our faith and i know that in a year where many of us would be tempted to hoard or keep or protect what we have at transformation church we move in generosity we give just to give not to give we step out in faith we believe in god and we believe in miracles and i believe that god right now is placing something on you and your family's heart like he's doing for me and natalie and our family and we're all on december 6 gonna give in our crazy faith offering i'm telling you what i've seen god do in this season of the year has been something that will never ever nobody can ever convince me that god is not moving in this moment and so i want you to join us this is the step of faith that maybe you've been praying for this is the step of faith that's going to prove that all the growth as we've gotten stronger this year actually has action in your life and i'm so grateful and i'm gonna be praying with you that whatever god says for you to give you would obey see what we know is that obedience is better than any sacrifice we could give and we're going to move this thing together so december 6 crazy faith offering you can give and i'm so excited to see what god does in this church as we represent him to the lost and found for transformation in christ god bless you

Channel: Transformation Church

Views: 390,145

Rating: 4.9461622 out of 5

Keywords: Transformation Church, Represent, Michael Todd, Mike Todd, Transformation Church live, Transformation Church Worship, Sunday Service, Holy Spirit, Faith, God, Jesus Christ, transformchurchtv, representtv, how do i forgive myself, how do i forgive, forgive me, forgiveness university, forgiveness meditation, how to forgive yourself, past mistakes and guilt, how to forgive yourself for past mistakes, how to forgive someone, how do i forgive you, how do i forgive them, forgiveness

Id: ZRn87FH3Oz0

Length: 79min 11sec (4751 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 25 2020