How to develop natural confidence

there are some people around us who just seem like they are born with natural confidence you know what I'm talking about they're super smooth super confident they always know the right thing to say think about President Obama it just seems like a smooth guy think of one of his famous yes we can rally speeches not being political here just talking about his oratorical skills what do you notice about how he speaks he's powerful he's decisive he speaks slowly and almost never stumbles or stutters his points are clear and they're to the point he's the epitome of confidence when it comes to a speaker on stage so when you look at somebody like him it's very easy to assume that he has some innate ability that he was born with either you have it or you don't but the truth is confidence is a skill and President Obama just like all confident people built that skill he practiced it over a lifetime it's like when you see a comedian telling this hilarious three-minute joke with the perfect punchline seems like they just came up with that right there but the truth is they've practiced that joke hundreds of times in tiny comedy clubs before you ever saw it everything down to those perfect pauses and those off-the-cuff laughs every single thing has been practiced and perfected in fact they've done it so many times that they know it's going to land a huge laugh so their delivery just oozes natural self-confidence what I like to do is peel back the curtain go behind the scenes and realize that confidence is something you actually can control if you know how so here's a simple example of how you can control your confidence in less than 20 seconds take something you routinely say like what you did this weekend and change the way you say it I want you to channel your inner super confident person it could be Barack Obama it could be Susan Sarandon it could be whoever you want don't focus on who it is don't even worry about what you say instead focus on changing how you say it sit up straight speak slowly and imagine what you're saying is incredibly important because the people listening want to hear it let me show you an example a little before and after yeah I can't even remember I mean I think it was pretty good it was actually pretty crazy but I just went to a movie and saw some friends you know the usual I guess now let's compare the after we had a great weekend I was with the kids on Saturday then Michelle and I caught a Broadway show and finished the night at that new sake bar downtown now what you notice notice first that I'm intentionally using someone else to role play this really lets us get into play acting without worrying about our own life our own Saturday ooh maybe I don't have as cool the life as going to a sock a bar don't worry about that all we're doing here is working on our delivery so what happened in the before and after example the obvious difference is that I sounded way more confident but it goes a lot deeper by speaking this way I also felt more confident to put it another way I made an external change to how I sat and how I spoke and I was actually able to influence my internal state so sitting up straight and changing how I spoke made me feel more confident the external influences the internal this is a totally different way of looking at things behavior first attitude second remember nobody sees inside of you they don't see how confident you are how much work you spent practicing all they see is the way you answer a question or the way you sit when you're talking to them so when it comes to confidence confidence can actually come from the outside in not just from the inside out which is what everybody tells you so instead of waiting for it to just magically appear where's my confidence where is it we're actually changing our behavior something everyone can do and we're letting the confidence follow the external influences the internal and once you master this concept you can apply it to a lot more than just how you speak and how you sit a couple of examples what are you wearing today Oh something a little more upscale I wonder how you'll feel when I started dressing better people would say something like wow you look great and guess what it made me feel great what are you gonna order today when you go out to eat something healthy hmm I wonder if that might affect the way you think about yourself how are you going to introduce yourself what if someone says I'm Mike I work at insurance company boring right yes that is boring I don't want to talk to you anymore Mike but what if Mike watches this and he says I'm Mike you know when people call up their insurance company and they find that one person who's amazing on the phone that's me that is a total transformation your takeaway today is to identify three things that you can change that would make you feel more confident write them down leave a comment stick them to your desk and start changing your behavior and watch that confidence followed and don't forget to share them in the comments below

Channel: I Will Teach You To Be Rich

Views: 59,694

Rating: 4.9262948 out of 5

Keywords: Ramit Sethi, confidence, fear, doubt, growth mindset, success, mastery, I Will Teach You To Be Rich

Id: OFRb3IXN0eo

Length: 6min 31sec (391 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 12 2017