My 3 Favorite Books For A Positive Mindset | Tips from Ramit Sethi

the comments below look at that thing tonight we got something good but we have something even better because I'm going to be talking about my three favorite books on positive mindset my next question for you is on a scale of one to ten how do you feel today this is a question I asked my team about a week after we all were in the middle of coronavirus and I asked them and on average that number had gone down too so I say on average my team usually rates about seven to eight numbers were five to six it was a very market difference how you guys feeling after a few weeks that number had gone back up and what I want to talk about tonight is a positive mindset specifically three books and what they have meant to me what I took away from them so we're going to talk about that we have a bunch of questions that came in via Instagram questions about how has positive mindset affected my income how do you do it if you have negative people around you so we're gonna talk about all those things prepare your questions or not I've already got amazing questions thanks to Cass Cass heard my rant yesterday about the horrible questions that the IWT community has been submitting Cass would you do to get these good questions tonight we asked like three hours ago to submit the questions so I think that helped and also via Instagram not the survey very proud Cass and also thankful all right so my first book that I would like to recommend that was awesome is a book called playing Big Bite armoire none of these authors know that I'm about to plug their book but I really love these books so I found out about this book by stumbling across an article on goop of all places okay now usually I don't read quack sites but this article was amazing and it was an excerpt from the book or a Q&A by the author I was like damn this good bought the book immediately as you recall I have something called row meets book buying rule if I see a book that even remotely looks interesting by never question it never hesitate never equivocate just buy and I finally got around to reading it and I loved it so first off a few things that stood out to me tarah does an amazing job at helping us identify the stories that we tell ourselves what are some of the stories that you tell yourself could it be I'm not good at making money I'm not a morning person I'm not the kind of person who can lose weight what else are some stories that we tell ourselves I can't earn more money I can't earn more I can't start a business I can't find love yep that's a really common one I'm not good at public speaking mm-hmm you're probably not if you say that but you can become good all right so like I I love this concept of narratives and the stories we tell ourselves I used to say I'm a skinny Indian guy and I realized in my mid-20s that was just a story I was telling myself and that really opened my eyes to all the things I could possibly change so she talks about that she really talks about the concept of playing small and I want to spend a second on this and then I'm gonna talk about how it's related to positive how many of us have played small at one point or another in our lives and how many of us maybe are playing small right now what do I mean by play small I mean that we are not going for truly what we want because what would people think if I fail we are telling ourselves I need a credential before I can do that I need to read more I need to figure it out how many people here doing that lots for playing small because if we actually articulate out loud what we want people might laugh we might not get it and worst of all we will come back and be the same place and what will people think so we play small and tarah just really profoundly illustrates this and she talks about you know I need to take another ten classes I need a PhD and I thought wow she really nailed that concept of playing small and of course the book is called playing big so it's really about being confident even if you don't necessarily have the skills yet it's saying this is what I want to achieve now let me make a plan to get it and I just love that concept one of the things she talks about a future version of yourself how many of us have ever thought about what we want ourselves to be like in ten years I didn't but I think it's a powerful concept and if you think what you know if you even spend the time right now to write down a half page of what are you what do you do what do you look like where do you live who comes to you for advice where do you eat dinner on a Friday night write that down and you might be surprised because often we have these lofty goals from I've run a marathon I've done this I donate to charity but then you ask yourself what am i doing today to possibly be moving towards that and she really has this beautiful concept of I think she calls it a future mentor I've asking yourself who do you want to be and then starting to work towards it play big is written for women but I found it immensely useful and I think that every one man or woman would read this and find it incredibly useful and also I recommended this cast to you mm-hmm can you talk about your experience with this book yeah I thought it was amazing and I read but I really like the part about the inner critic in the inner mentor and she says in the book not to like feel bad when your inner critic comes up but just to like recognize it and embrace it and like move on from it which I thought was really powerful cuz I think a lot of people just feel bad when it comes up those feelings come up so yeah I thought the book was awesome and then she actually has an online course that I enrolled in after which was great too a funny story about that I still remember you that was the first course I think you had ever taken yeah and you came to me like do you think I should join her course and I'm like yeah if you like her book get the course yeah and even like we didn't even talk about how much it cost it was just like yes if you find an author you like find a way to get everything they have yeah and I've done that with authors and mentors of mine where I found somebody who truly transformed my life and I got their courses I got all their other books I hired them to be a consultant but funny story about that is you had missed the deadline oh really I don't remember this yeah you missed the deadline and you were like kind of down cuz you had gotten really pumped up uh-huh and I don't know if I suggested it or you came up with the idea on your own either way you emailed her and said I just read your book I know I missed the deadline by a couple of days can I please get in I'll pay full price and I'll catch up uh-huh and she said okay oh wow and I still remember that and I think that was an amazing example of playing babe mhm because when you play big whether you're an entrepreneur a nine-to-five employee a parent whatever when you have something you want you find a way to get it yeah and to me that was an amazing example of you being resourceful play big and saying I'm not gonna let a little deadline stop me yeah I'm gonna find a way and this now we're gonna talk about how this all relates to positivity for book number one when I think about people who email me and they say like I can't afford your programs like what can I do I'm like find a way when I was in college and I didn't have much money there were conferences out there I was like I will I'll find a way to get there let me volunteer just so I can be in the room and meet people volunteer get creative nobody's gonna tell you how to do this no one's gonna turn over and say here's like ten thousand dollars worth of value for free but people love resourceful people now it doesn't mean you're entitled to anything but when I get emails and when I see my other friends who have businesses and people are like hey can you help me like I can't afford this or I'm gonna have time it's like the most successful people will find a way and books like this will show you the mindsets but most people are looking for tactics Ramin tell me the script to use to get in late I could give you all the scripts in the world I'll do that to get my programs and get my courses and they're all there but or even in the book but the larger point is how do you develop a mindset where you say I want something and I'm gonna find a way no barrier is gonna stop me I think Cassie did an amazing job with that first problem thank you oh and by the way everyone she so I'm on her mailing list you should sign up for it and she's hosting virtual workshop oh my god like over the past week so so if you have a issue where you want to become more confident or you've been playing small mm-hmm sign up mm-hmm right now I'd like to take a break to announce a couple of things first of all I'm not sponsored I'm not sponsored by Hot Tamales nor am i sponsored by anyone and I have told you there's a about how many brands are there in the world that I would be sponsored by maybe three yeah I can think of two of them one is a retail brand clothing one is a hotel brand o2r hotel brands one two three thirty oh but four put that back up not tamales let's discuss why Americans hate hot tamales and have horrible taste in candy what is it what do you guys like to eat Oh chocolate give me a Snickers disgusting the problem is these are so good I think Indian people all love these the problem is the carbs are like crazy so I basically eat four and that's it I don't know how many people know macros but it's 27 27 grams of carbs and there's 27 that's for 16 pieces that's a lot I could eat this whole bag in one cell but I'm not going to so why don't we learn today number what we've learned two very important things number one positive mindset tarah more thinking big number two I love Hot Tamales and there's too many carbs in these and Hot Tamales if you're inventing a low-carb version send me an email I read every email sponsorship number five oh I mean seriously if they offered to sponsor would I what I actually do it like okay by the way let me talk about my policy on sponsorships I I've gotten you know now that I'm an Instagram influencer and all this stupid stuff I get these horrible offers hey roomie post like 20 times on your Instagram stories three feed posts and we'll send you ten bags of popcorn I'm thinking what do you understand what's going on right now ten this is literally not a joke juice I have a juice company they're like post five times we'll give you a box of juice like do you understand what these programs that we build go for no they don't they're just you know they're BOTS so so that's an easy decision I've told cast cuz cast is like yo you know have you considered it I think cast you know the world of partnerships a lot better than I do I'm like I don't like this stuff it feels grimy I'd rather just create amazing programs and sell them to amazing students that's it so then then I got some come that was like come on an influencer holiday to a hotel I was like what Hotel them and I just decided to pass on it so what have we concluded Cass you're basically saying that I should get a partnership with a $3 bag of candy what does that say about your regard for my partnership abilities it means I'm zooming in on your book I will teach you to be rich with right tamales yeah all right I'm not doing a hot tamales partnership but I do like the canyon next book is open by Andre Agassi so I I really liked this book I really liked it and I did not expect to really like it I thought he was searingly honest and Andre Agassi the tennis player he talked about how he hated clay he hated it but he also talked about how he was programmed to win from childhood and I loved hearing about what he did to win and I loved hearing about success and excellence at the highest levels but I also loved hearing about loss there's a point in the book that I highlighted where he talks about when you lose the locker room is deathly silent and I love those little vignettes those little moments where you know what it's like at the very highest levels I've always liked that there was a there was another example where some university wanted Hillary Clinton to come and speak there and the Hillary Clinton's team sent a writer and all this writers like a list of requirements we need this food in the green room and all this stuff and they were like oh okay by the way like this is a university so can you give us your like student rate and and then her team replied in these emails that is her student and I was like that's crazy that's what happens at the highest levels of speaking so this andre agassi book what I really loved and what I've always loved is learning what the very best do what they go through what they experience how they think about winning and I remember a moment in the book where Andre Agassi talks about the person who strings his racquet he said basically at those levels the strings can be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars and so you you need to know that it's being done by the right person and needs to be a process in place and I don't know about you guys but I love that I've always loved even like superhero movies or spy movies where they're the best spy it just inspires me like what is the best in any field the best janitor the best entrepreneur I want to know how they think and so I found this book to be amazing and eye-opening and very candid when he talks about his personal life and his parents and things like that so opened by Andre Agassi great book third book on positive mindset shoe dog by phil knight founder of nike so what I love about this is three different stages the first small scrappy like they're handing out Nikes in Hollywood trying to get people to wear them and then get in a movie then scaling when things get big and then when things get really hard and this book and actually the book by the founder of Starbucks it's just a recurring series of them getting the kicked out of them just over and over and over again no matter what they do something bad happens then worse and worse and worse and they just keep coming back and I really love that it's almost midnight but I love that I love reading it it doesn't mean I have to be that maniacal but I do love knowing what it takes and how they think because no barrier is gonna stop them and if you read this and suddenly being late for a webinar or not being to figure out how to go to a conference that is such a trivial problem it's like ah I'll figure that in 10 seconds you know this guy has company almost stolen from him so I loved it by the way I want to tell you a story about Phil Knight that I I read in the Wall Street Journal many years ago so there's an article called Stanford mystery who's the old guy in the white 90's phil knight at this point 69 years old people start wondering who's this old guy in the back of this introductory creative writing seminar class at Stanford well it turns out phil knight had been struggling to write his book for 20 years so he went to talk to this professor at Stanford is a very famous English professor and he's like and I need some advice you know I I want to write this book I'm struggling so the professor said and I quote I suggested he starts somewhere at his level of ability this is a billionaire he goes you can come to my introductory class you got to do all the world so this anonymous older guy comes to the class sits there participates every day he's a bit like he doesn't really talk too much but he starts taking the classmates his classmates out for drinks in Palo Alto bars after class and he pays and then he which he doesn't tell his classmates he gets in his jet and flies back to Oregon okay pretty cool so I love this story why because shoo dog is an awesome book but it shows that even a billionaire is humble enough to go ask for help and to sit in a classroom and embrace the mind of a student that to me is one of the most amazing skill sets anyone can have the better you get at something the harder it is to put yourself back in the mind of a student because you're already good and you don't want to go back and be humbled and realize you suck but you do suck I'm telling you right now you suck and whatever amusing you're gonna try it you're horrible ramiz safety says you suck but if you have the mind of a child in the mind of a student you can become good so what could be more striking than a billionaire humbling himself enough to become just another student I just loved it I was inspired so I share these three books because I do believe you can change your mindset absolutely I've changed mine dramatically I think Cass you would say you've changed yours in just the last two three years I think these books can help I think a larger issue you know we can already tell who's going to be successful or who's not if people are saying um well I don't know that book has a couple of two star reviews I don't know ramita I trust trust you and you made me $70,000 last year but uh that's got a two star review so I think I'm gonna keep searching for the next 15 year give up it's never gonna work for you all right instead a positive mindset starts with the most simple of decisions should I get this book well this guy I like told me to get it get the book why are you debating the ten dollar purchase just get the book that's the mindset that gets you moving everyone else is sitting here agonizing over $3 questions or $10 questions you just get the book Oh should I join this program or not do it or if you can't afford it put on your wish list and six months from now you'll be able to afford it boom the point is start moving what do you think I'm doing here I could be sitting here oh what's gonna happen I don't know but so scary it is scary we know that so acknowledge reality make a plan and start moving that's why I'm here right now that's why you're here - okay that didn't sound very positive but that's me being positive Wow okay I got a few questions from people which are great questions thank you for these Wow what's the line between being positive and delusional this is a great question I think more people you're more at risk how do I say this you're more at risk of doing nothing than of being delusional so I would rather have you say you know what I can be good at that and then fail rather than say uh I don't know do I need to get a PhD before I start to make a hundred dollars online no no no no no no I would rather have you try something and failed and sit and do nothing I will say that there are some things you can do to check yourself so for example if you're starting a business you know one of the things we recommend is don't quit your job until you have a certain income coming in alright the other thing you could say is look I I've always wanted to be a painter and I'm gonna really like turn this into a business okay great how much do you need for this to be sustainable let's say fifty thousand dollars a year perfect so in six months what is a reasonable number for you to have okay look you know let's just pick a number let's say if we need 50k a year in six months we could say 25k but I'm just starting off so I'm gonna apply a little discount so let's say 15k if I have 15k that means that things are going well I've sold a few paintings and I can start to increase that number that'd be great perfect so now you know that you need whatever that is divided by six and so at three months you check in if you have 7,500 you're right on track if you have 5k you're fine if you have $100 you got a problem and you need to start changing your strategies and tactics then you take a candid look at the end of six months if you made $13,000 good you're pretty much in the in the range you did a great job you won but if you made three hundred and fifty dollars in six months and it's not working and so you've given yourself six months you've picked a number a KPI you've been a little flexible with yourself but the market will tell you if you're being delusional all right how do you retain the information you read in books so I do a couple of things I have different levels of books that I read some of them were just like fun books I don't take any notes I just read them cuz they're entertaining fiction although I read like two fiction books a year but just like interesting cool ones whatever the next ones are ones that I think could be interesting and I highlight certain things in them that I find interesting I rarely go back and read them they're just there if I ever get the urge I can the third-level are ones where I'm like wow there's really valuable information here so when I highlight them I'll then take all the highlights put them into a Google Doc and I'll comment them to people on my team or I'll send the doc to my friends things like that like I want action items to come out of that book that's a very high level book and the highest level would be a book that I read every single year and that would be a book like breakthrough advertising for copy which is so dense and rich that I discovered new things in it all the time some of Jay Abraham's books etc those books I love to read them over and over and every time I discover something new so that's how I do it you know there's lots of other ways you can keep a list of your biggest insides you can create flashcards but sometimes I'm just like pretty loose about it like I'm just gonna read a lot and absorb it and trust that when the time is right I will connect what I read to what I see in front of me oh and this is a question that I think would be helpful for me and the audience so what do you do if you don't like a book do you feel the pressure to finish it no I'm glad you brought that up why do you bring that up by the way because I went through this and I'm sure other people I've gone through so I've been reading since I was I don't know what age do kids have learned to read I don't know alright anyway so my mom would take us on Saturdays to the library and I would check twenty-five books and what are you doing summer nothing you read well we did we read books so I come back the next week and I'd get my stars there was some Pizza Hut scholastic challenge and they wouldn't believe me oh you read 25 books let me ask you a question I was like ask me anything little did I know that 25 or 30 years later I would be doing ask me anything Wow on Instagram so wow the world is really cosmically delivered anyway I've been reading for a long time so if you've been doing anything for a long time you build this skill right you playing violin you weightlifting whatever one thing that I know is that if a book is not good if it's not connecting with me I will skip a look at the table of contents I'll skip around and if I'm not finding value I'll give it 25 to 50 pages and then I'm out of there and for me that's relatively fast if if I were a slower reader it might be 20 pages why why do I think I do it because I'm abundant I'm abundant enough to know that I have an unlimited endless supply of books I also know that sometimes there are great books I'm just not in the mood I'm just not I just don't I'm not feeling reading this dense technical text fine I'll come back to it so a lot of times I'll open up my Kindle and I'll just scroll around till I feel that something is connecting with me and boom I'll read it so that's my hmm okay what effect has positive thinking had on your income a huge amount I can think of a specific example our company was going through some tough times a few years ago and had I not built the resilience through lots of little tests being positive going to conferences when they said no all this little stuff it would have been devastating okay we went through layoffs we went to revenue reduction and to know that there will that my future is bigger than my past to know that other people have gone through worse to know that there were people around me who would give me that was immensely helpful and remember this was at the time that it was so tough on myself I was actually having trouble sleeping I went to go see a doctor about it and it was purely due to the stress that I was under so I did have to learn how to manage that but I would also say that psychologically having that resilience and this just been strength that I have been cultivating for a long time and an amazing team really helped I've got let's see what questions do we have tonight gasps oh so I just realized that questions from earlier pop up in this question box yeah oh okay and keep going with your questions okay okay let me just talk about something very positive talk about your love sorry how many pop tamales do you think I think in one city Wow this is the worst feeling in it this is the worst pattern ever ever done on live episode if I was on the network they would be like this was your last show thanks for coming in we won't be seeing you again we'll send your check no need to come in again okay question do you prefer audio books or a book I prefer a physical book but I read on Kindle now because we live in New York and one day my dream of having a big library will be achieved you know I posted on Twitter yesterday are people listening to audiobooks less and I have suspected for a long time that the reason I find audiobooks a little more challenging is that I don't have a commute I work from home and yes indeed I got like thousands of responses the majority of people are like oh yeah I'm listening to audio way less cuz they're at home they're stuck at home so I think that you have to find something that fits into your life most people get fixated on what book should I buy or me what's the best marketing book I think the better question is how do I fit it into my life because you can buy 20 books or you can buy 50 books you can borrow them from the library too but where are you gonna fit them in your life do you wake up in the morning do you read them over coffee what about a good lunch break that is a more interesting question than the titles you can go just get all top five books in every category and you'll have a great start our most books you read recommended to you by your inner circle or D stumble on them both more like stumbling a bottom line because just like we travel where I read a lot of travel stuff I like books so I read like that goop article again I don't usually get my book recommendations from goop or anything for that matter but unless I want to be taken advantage of by people who don't know what they're talking about typically I don't know it's goop gonna sponsor benign someone tagging like they give a so but I find them you know I'll read an excerpt of a book on the Atlantic or New York Times or it'll come across on hacker news or read it I'm like oh that's an interesting idea I never thought of that by instantly and you know then I'll get to it when I get to it okay okay finito so we talked about books and we talked about positive mindset and then I started yelling at people did I talk about are we good are you guys feeling positive give a thumbs up I feel like everyone feels reprimanded Smith I'm a while I'm the happiest yeah I'm the happiest guy in this whole show because I ki seven hunting oh he's pretty cray in the chatroom what do I care look I got a fire still going I ate my hot tamales one way or another get these books just go buy them everybody will be happy read em don't read them that's my positive message for tonight now what else can you do to be positive well you can tag your friends although I probably wouldn't recommend you tag this episode because they'll never come back follow me follow me on YouTube do whatever you want I'll see you guys tomorrow night

Channel: I Will Teach You To Be Rich

Views: 5,014

Rating: 4.9649124 out of 5

Keywords: personal finance, personal finance 101, ramit sethi, ramit sethi fireside, ramit sethi I will teach you to be rich, ramit sethi interview, how to have a positive mindset, how to have a positive attitude, how to have a positive attitude in life, how to have a positive mental attitude

Id: -YC1EllrCoQ

Length: 32min 21sec (1941 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 14 2020