How to Depict the Beauty of Complementarity

so this issue of complementarity a lot of people think just an awful ugly horrible thing how do we yeah what's what I've tried to do I think in conversations with people even in my own process into you know embracing complementarity complementarianism when I came from a background where women are strong and Submission can receive is weakness I think as a believer seeing Christ in complementarianism gives me joy about complementarianism it's not that God has called me to submit to a man because I'm just this weak willed brittle backed woman but rather it's a way for me to mimic God it's a way for me to live a life of service to my husband live a life of service to my church live a life of service to my dart like submission is a good thing because even Christ did it he's God and he submitted to the Father so how can then I say oh I'm above that I think I think seeing Jesus in complementarianism has caused me to not see its ugliness but rather to see the benefits and the spiritual fruits that come from it yeah in 1st Corinthians 11 he's he's an example of both being ahead and having ahead of me which means he's an example for the men he's an example for women in example for leading he's an example for following and submitting now which is wonderful yeah this is such an important question I mean it is such a rich question and it's really when I struggled with you know I can't really talk about this question without you know you could sort of picture me just kickin against the walls of it because you know it just it didn't it did not rest easily on me I think like Jackie I too is I was raised to be a feminist when people would say to my momma what a pretty little girl is she going to marry a doctor my mother would get just outraged and say she's going to be a doctor she's not going to marry a doctor so from my earliest beginnings the idea that women were powerful and strong and I didn't want to give that up and then I realized that actually complementarity does not ask me to give that up with the first thing I had to really think about for me I mean this is just my journey I had to think about whether whether submission is a it whether it could create I an abuse culture because I came from a feminist tradition that said that and now as a Christian I had to think about well is is a woman a wife submission to her husband is that a sin you know I mean I really had to think of it and one of the things that I did was I went back to Genesis it's amazing how many things take us back to Genesis I thought well you know what if Adams headship came after the fall then we've got a problem and that I can I can be us I can continue on with my position that complementarity is dangerous but if if if submission came before the fall then it's a good it's a good thing God said everything was good and so there it is Eve submission to Adam evidently is before the fall in part because his sin was a sin his federal headship covered not just Eve but all of us and so I really had to stop and think about something and one of the things I thought about is a theory of aesthetics that's been very important to me important in my work as a professor just in my work as a person and it's this is the theory that what is true determines what is beautiful and ethical and that stopped me in my tracks because if what is true is that a wife submission to her husband is God's good gift then I needed to see beauty and I needed to see an aesthetic wisdom that came from that and that's for me the way this conversation rolled now you know praise God as you said before that everything you know everything that God does is right but it's also providentially right it is not arbitrary and so I'm grateful that my life experience could bear out that I am more effective I am more strong in my submission to my husband then I ever could have been kicking against the law of God although kick I did and hard it was if you abstract that the framework of submission and leadership out of the gospel out of the garden of Christ it is ugly mhm because I think fallen Minds can't be trusted with those kinds of contexts but it is it is because we see this in the life of Christ himself we are able to see it in a beautiful wholesome healthy way that it actually using these things to to bless the other person ok you know that the husband is loving his wife as Christ loved the church and I think it it's uniquely beautiful within a within the gospel shaped content context I don't think it can be beautiful and apart from that I think when the world tries to do it it becomes denigrating or abusive and it you know you can you get young side of it and if I could add to that part of why it's really beautiful in a gospel context is that in a gospel context we are members of a church because gospel driven people can be abusive they can take and fall in their sin but if you are a wife and you are you are in a godly marriage but your husband is sinning grievously against you your check and balance is your membership in a church because your pastor and your elders are there for you to help you both and in the world you just don't have that you don't have God's appointed Shepherd looking out for you dear wife trying to do the good thing yeah feel as if just the conversations I have the Twitter rants I see it seems as if I think culture and media has influenced people's view of what submission and headship really is I don't I don't think people have taken the time to really dig into the stream allowing the scriptures to define it because it's talked about when when you have it when I've had conversations with people the way they define submiss like being a maid or the way they define headship is dominant it's like that's not in the Bible that that's that's how you're perceiving it and so I think if you see that like man true biblical headship is servant leadership as God leads and serves us and true biblical submission is a willing glad submission to someone it's not that I'm not my husband's maid I'm his helper because I love him I am more than willing to help them even the Holy Spirit helps us it's it's we're not like the Trinity itself is is is is the same thing that God is calling us to be an image bearer of himself Trinitarian being so I mean I think I think it would be valuable for those who see them perceive ugliness to define is the ugliness I see being defined by culture or in Scripture yeah have those conversations I think it's helpful teacher kind of widen the angle a bit we talked a bit about leadership and Submission there's there's more to gender complementarity than that here and I think nothing of Keller has said at some point it's we can affirm that that each gender has a unique and non interchangeable glory than the other does not and actually this framework allows us to celebrate our differences as well as our commonalities attempted to see those things shine and be beautiful tonight actually we have mutual blessing right as single people and as married people because Genesis 1:26 says clearly that there are ethical and moral responsibilities to being born male and female and that is shocking news in our world and it's Ness is good news it's helpful news it's a it's a bomb of quiet in a world of racket and anger yeah but we can't bless each other unless we're different that's the one for where God is as why the fool up to be okay great thank you thank you thank you

Channel: The Gospel Coalition

Views: 69,869

Keywords: the gospel coalition, the gospel, gospel, coalition, pastors, pastor, minister, ministry, Christ, Christian, Christianity, church, churches, faith, reformed, reformation, bible, biblical, evangelical, Jesus, God, spiritual, spirit, Holy Spirit, preacher, preaching, teaching, rosaria butterfield, jackie hill perry, sam allberry, complementarian theology, marriage, love, romance, submission

Id: 15IS87Ad3HE

Length: 9min 5sec (545 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 23 2017