How to deal with toxic people... | Buddhism In English Q&A

welcome to yet another episode in in a guide q and a program so today we are going to discuss how to deal with toxic people so toxic people can be found everywhere in this society right sometimes toxic people can be found in our family right maybe they can be found in our neighborhood maybe we can find them as our friends so in one way or another we have to deal with these people and also we have that intention that we should not get hurt ourselves and also we should not hurt others right so we need to find a way to deal with these people so today we are going to discuss about that [Music] so first of all i will tell you a wonderful story that tells us how buddha dealt with a toxic person right so this is a famous and well-known story one day a man came to the buddha and he started yelling and insulting and he was he was cursing buddha right [Music] so do you know how buddha faced that situation he was smiling he didn't make any reaction throughout that conversation and throughout that situation he put on a smile a positive smile on his face and he was looking at that person who is was yelling at him very kindly right so he was very kind to that person now after some time that person stopped yelling right everything everything that he packed inside him was over he was he was finished [Music] then our great teacher supreme buddha asked a wonderful question from him right now it is totally different to the situation right it does not search for the situation supreme asked do you get visitors to your home does visitors visit to your home then that person was astonished and he was amazed and he said yes i get so many visitors to my home the supreme buddha kindly asked from that person do you treat them with foods and drinks then that person said yes i'm treating them then supreme buddha said [Music] what if they did not accept what you have treated what you have given so for whom those foods and drinks belongs to if they did not accept that those foods and drinks then that person laughed in front of the buddha and he said so if they did not accept my treat then it belongs to me i will eat them then our supreme buddha with a great and wonderful kind smile in his face he said same goes with this situation man you treated with you treated me with rude and harsh words you treated me with anger but i am a person who is not accepting anything that you have given to me i will never accept those rude and harsh words that you truly treated me [Music] right so if i do not accept anything that you have given then everything that you gave to me belongs to you then you should eat it right then he that person was amazed and his anger was cooled down then after supreme buddha preached the dhamma his teachings to him after that he became a follower of our great teacher supreme buddha now see how positively and how successfully our great teachers of prembuddha dealt with that toxic person now if we were in that situation what would be our reaction normally when people yelling at us we try to talk to them back we try to prove them wrong right we try to control them with our rude and harsh words supreme buddha said if you treat with anger to the people who is treating you with anger if you give the same thing that means you are sharing their food and eating right if you become angry that means you are sharing their uh sharing their treats remember whenever you are in such situations whenever you face toxic people whenever people around you are angry what you have to do the first thing that you have to do is put on a positive smile to your face never show your sad or angry face to them if you show that that means you are providing what they want because they are coming to you expecting to hurt you if you show them that you have been hurt you have been hurt hurt then you aren't successful you provide them what they wanted so never show your angry or sad face to them put on a smile be a positive person be a bigger person than him because when some person when one person becomes angry right he becomes mentally weak remember mentally weak people express their anger easily the reason why they are expressing expressing their anger is because they don't have a strong mentality so you need to be the bigger guy right to be the bigger guy you have to be positive you have to smile and you have to be motivated with virtues and morals okay be the best version of yourself don't try to talk to them back that is the first thing and also you have to listen to what they tell what they speak right set apart and leave behind the person don't care about the person care about what they say right sometimes they may be yelling at you because of a mistake that you they think that you have done but in reality sometimes you haven't done it so what you have to do you have to listen to that and understand what they say i give a big attention to what they say right so if they complain you about a mistake or something else then you have to think is that mistake prevails in my life right can is that mistake is inside my life have i done that mistake really right if you have done some mistake and and that is the if that is the reason that they are yelling at you then you have to correct your mistake but never show the face of anger or sadness [Music] okay then you have to correct it if you haven't done any mistake and still if they are complaining you then don't try to prove them wrong because each and every time you try to prove them wrong you they may be understanding it in a wrong way because when our mind gets deluded or when our mind is covered by anger normally an angry man shuts his eyes and ears and he opens his mouth right he cannot see anything he cannot listen to anything he cannot hear anything so what you have to do don't try to prove them wrong stay silent silence can give many answers to problems right so if you need to prove them wrong prove them wrong with your success not by not with your words right that is how we do it so you have to uh set apart the person and listen to what they say if you have done a mistake correct it if you haven't done a mistake leave it behind don't care about that so the best practice that you can do to generate and to have this skill is to practice the mind of loving kindness right if you love yourself you will never like to make yourself angry if you love yourself then you will have the opportunity to love others and if you love others you will never try to hurt those people with rude and angry words so practice loving kindness practice compassion right love compassion care these things can provide many answers to the problems that pop up in our life so you always need to be kind you always need to be humble and also remember being humble is not being weak you need to be positive right you need to have a good skill to handle these situations now this can be done by visualizing to yourself that how i'm going to face such a situation if you can visualize that a situation like that now and if you can if if you can imagine in your mind how i am going to face it right if you can see that you are having you are having a good smile on your face and you feel liz you are listening to those people and you are handling that situation very successfully then that visualization will help you to deal with in a real situation like that so practice that right that is how we deal with toxic people never provide what they want when they come to you they need the anger from you they need to hurt you so don't provide that if you did not provide it you will handle it successfully so i wish you all may all of you have that wonderful skill to deal with the toxic people successfully namabu the high terrorist [Music] you

Channel: Buddhism

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Keywords: buddhism in english, dhamma sermon in english, buddhism for you, Inner guide, meditation music, meditation in buddhism, meditation in buddhism sinhala, Shraddha TV English sermon, learn the buddhism, meditation, buddha's path, buddhism, buddhist, dalai lama, what is buddhism, what do buddhists believe, eightfold path, four noble truths, bodhisattva, nirvana, religion, peace, buddha, gautama, inner peace buddhism, Dhamma talk, Buddhism In English, toxic, toxic people, people

Id: bGOA7uNm22o

Length: 12min 41sec (761 seconds)

Published: Thu May 05 2022