How to Deal with Toxic, Jealous, Insecure Coworkers

he ambitious professionals it's Linda Rayner of Linda Rayner calm guiding you to a career and life you'll truly enjoy now if you are currently in a situation where you're dealing with jealous gossipy bad-mouthing and insecure co-workers then this video is for you I'm going to discuss with you why it's happening to you in the first place and what you can do about it to overcome it so stay tuned [Music] now as a career strategist I've had the honour of being able to help numerous corporate ambitious professionals just like you to land their dream job offers and if this is something that you're interested in working with me one-on-one I can give you details about that at the end of this video now one of the common questions that I get asked most often is how to deal with toxic co-workers who are insecure and who love to gossip and talk about you in the workplace in fact I get asked this question so often that it made me realize how prevalent this issue is and that that's the number one reason why people leave companies not because of the job itself but because of the people that they work with and because this topic is so important I want to be able to share my advice with you and as always I'm gonna be super transparent and it's likely advice that you haven't heard anywhere else so first of all let's address the question of why are these toxic co-workers targeting you if you are feeling singled out and picked on compared to everyone else in the office then there may be a variety of reasons for why that's happening either you're amazing and you're doing great and they're just simply jealous of you or you are drawing it to yourself and there is a difference trust me and I'll explain but let's talk about the first reason why they may be jealous of you and that is that you are a strong performer you do great at work you're well-liked by your managers and other co-workers but there happens to be this small group of toxic co-workers who are purely jealous of you let's talk about those if you happen to think that maybe they're actually just jealous of you then the best way to overcome this is to understand where that person that toxic individual is coming from from an emotional and mental standpoint so maybe before you came along maybe before you joined this team this departments this company they happen to be the superstar and then all of a sudden you along and you outperform them in a shorter period of time all of a sudden they feel that their value and Worth has decreased and they look at you as their target for who they want to feel jealous towards and who they want to show their dislike towards so to put it simply they feel threatened by your presence and like I said earlier the way to overcome this the antidote to all of this is for you to understand them understand where they're coming from because when you can understand that they're feeling threatened you can feel their sense of insecurity and so it almost makes you feel a bit of pity towards them you can realize that they don't have enough self love and self appreciation within themselves to say that it's okay that someone else came along and is doing a great job you have to remember this if someone is jealous of you because you happen to be a better performer than them or just more well-liked by others than they are for whatever reason if they happen to be jealous of you it's because it has everything to do with them and their insecurities and it has actually nothing to do with you so just to reiterate understanding is the key understanding that person understanding what's going on within them will help you to lessen the impact of their words and energy towards you and it's going to help you to be able to deal with them on a daily basis okay so that was reason number one but if that's not the case if you're not dealing with this feeling that people are jealous of you then there is another reason why you are being targeted by these toxic individuals and this is probably a reason that I'll be honest you don't want to hear but I'm just going to say it and that is that you are feeling negative towards your co-workers and they're feeling negative towards you because you already feel negative about yourself and what happens is that negative energy that's already within you is amplified now your external environment and it happens to be at work where what you are feeling on the inside is being reflected back to you by the people on the outside I'll explain this is a cold hard deep truth that I really want you to know about and to understand because I have seen it firsthand where the way someone feels about themselves and the energy that they project and the thoughts that they have in the beliefs that they hold on to directly impact the results that they are able to achieve in their everyday lives for example if you were looking for a better career looking for a new job and you wanted to be able to get that quickly it all does depend on not only your experience and skills and all that stuff but it also depends on how you feel about your abilities and how you feel about yourself and then how that's projected to others so let me ask you this over the last few years have you been holding on to any insecure unhappy low self-worth types of thoughts how do you actually feel about yourself on a daily basis this is a deep question that I want you to be completely honest with when you're answering for yourself because this will open you up to an understanding of potentially why you are currently being targeted by these toxic individuals at work so I go by a concept that I've lived by for years now and I honestly believe that it's it's the truth it's just how life works and that concept I've mentioned it before in other videos is called the world is your mirror what I mean by that is the world will project back on to you what you are currently already projecting from the inside out so if you're someone who has always felt that it's you against the world that life is full of potential enemies that you can't trust anyone except for yourself or if you felt that you have to always suppress your emotions you can't be completely honest and transparent otherwise that's a sign of weakness or maybe you've always felt that it's important to put others first and then you end up feeling as though you're a doormat now I know that me bringing up this topic and talking about it this way may make it sound as though I'm blaming you for why you're being treated badly at work and I want you to understand and be very clear about it right now that that is not what I'm doing I'm not blaming you but what I am doing is I'm bringing to your attention some potential areas within you that you may not have been aware of your entire life and that you may not have changed but now you have the opportunity to because what's gonna happen is that once you bring awareness to these negative deeply embedded beliefs that you potentially have within you that's going to shift the situation that you're dealing with that work you're no longer gonna feel like a target you're no longer gonna feel as though you have no control because you do have control and the only person you have control over is yourself and you have control over your beliefs you have control over how you feel about yourself and you have control over how you project yourself every single day so if you can shift these beliefs if you can look within yourself and dig deep and find areas where you do feel insecure and times where you do feel low confidence in times where you feel as though you're not projecting the best version of yourself if you can self reflect and be honest with yourself through that process then that's going to help you to bring awareness to what you can change and if you can change the way that you feel about yourself like I said it's going to change your entire situation with these toxic individuals at work so in essence what's happening to you is actually a blessing because now you can understand that if you've been feeling not so great about yourself because of what these naysayers have been saying about you it's partially because inside of you you've already held on to similar beliefs that they seem to be projecting onto you and that's your opportunity now to change it to shift it to eliminate these types of beliefs and to replace them with more self loving self appreciative and more grateful that you have towards yourself so enough explaining let's make it practical what can you do to shift these beliefs what I want you to start doing or what I suggest is that you find a quiet place find a time in your day where you have the opportunity to sit for 15 minutes 20 minutes half an hour an hour however long you have and to then ask yourself and be completely honest with yourself how do I feel about myself what are the thoughts and beliefs that I have about myself on a daily basis and just let your pen write what it needs to write on that piece of paper and see what comes up because there is a potential that not all the thoughts and beliefs that you have about yourself are fantastic and that's great because if they aren't fantastic if they aren't wonderful then there's your opportunity to shift them for example if you've been holding on to a deep-seated belief that tells you that you're just not good enough compared to others for whatever reason whatever good enough means then you want to ask yourself what does that mean and what do I actually feel about myself how do I actually feel when I feel that I'm not good enough but then once you've fully analyzed that then you want to be able to understand it understand where it came from who taught me to believe that I'm not good enough for example and then once you understand all of that then you're able to consciously shift that belief and it's not gonna be as though you're gonna say oh I'm not good enough but now I'm amazing you're not going to believe that if you're trying to switch from such a negative thought to such a drastic positive thought instead what you want to do is you want to ask yourself well what are the good qualities that I have about myself what are some traits that I have that I do feel positive towards myself so that's where you start and then that's where you build your confidence and that's where you also build more self-awareness and you might be wondering so what's going to happen with those toxic co-workers is this going to change the way they feel about me and the answer is yes you are going to notice a remarkable difference in the way that they treat you because what happens is that when you feel differently about yourself when you feel more positive about yourself you start to carry yourself differently you start to emit a different energy and these toxic individuals they look to feed off of low energy individuals and if you're someone who has high vibrating energy you're positive and you feel good about yourself they don't have much to latch on to and so you'll notice that they maybe will stop targeting you as much or they they'll just avoid you and ignore you and they no longer get what they're looking for which is a reaction out of you and that's because you've no longer allowed them to provoke you so that's the benefit of you becoming more self-aware and identifying those deeply embedded negative beliefs so there you have it I really hope that this advice that I'm sharing with you on how to deal with toxic co-workers or just toxic people in general is going to be helpful and to end it off I wanted to share with you an inspiring quote that I thought was really fitting a man or woman cannot be comfortable without his or her own approval by Mark Twain now if you happen to be on the hunt for a new job and you haven't had much success with getting interviews or passing the interviews or finding that amazing job offer that you deserve and you realize that you need more help than I have so many resources to help you I have my free resume mastery workshop which the link is in the description box down below I have my free interview strategy workshop which is brand new and you can have access to as well and I also have my one-on-one stand out get hired coaching program which if you realize that you want one-on-one guidance directly from me then feel free to head on over to my website fill in the application form and from there one of my team members will read your application they'll see if you're a match and from there reach out to you directly so if you like this video please give it a thumbs up please subscribe thank you so much I will see you in next video [Music] you [Music]

Channel: Linda Raynier

Views: 559,389

Keywords: how to deal with toxic people, how to deal with toxic coworkers, how to deal with difficult people, how to deal with jealous coworkers, toxic environment, jealous people

Id: GUw5lUajtpQ

Length: 14min 10sec (850 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 13 2020