HOW TO CHARM ANYONE | SOCIAL MAGNETISM

Karisma some say you either have it or you don't me personally I don't just believe you can build charisma I know you can't charisma gives you the ability to influence charm and attract those around you the neat thing about it is that it can actually be broken down into a few psychological traits and once mastered it can dramatically increase your influence and overall attractiveness we've all seen movies with George Clooney in them we know he's a good-looking guy and he's been on the cover of several well-known magazines something that you probably don't know about George is that he doesn't always get the girl but like a handful of other actors he has mastered the skill of charisma and you can clearly see it in every movie he does what is it about George that normal guys don't seem to have what makes him so charismatic Brad Pitt is another example if you've ever seen the Ocean's eleven movies maybe you wondered why these movies had such a powerful charming effect about them yes the story told through the movie was great also but the charming effect that you felt throughout the movie was caused by the combination of George Clooney and Brad Pitt together it is almost like any movie these guys cut turns into gold it's true that they are both above average in terms of physical appearances so they obviously have the halo effect going for them but what is it about these guys that makes them seem so charming personal charisma is a sophisticated set of social and emotional skills and it allows you to influence others on a deep emotional level once you have it it is something that sets you apart from ordinary people it is something that makes other people remember you in fact many people believe charisma has a divine origin because nobody ever taught them the art of charm you can think of charisma like a chair if the chair doesn't have all of the legs you can't sit in it charisma is like a perfect storm of several psychological traits and they must all work together if you want the ability to charm anyone you must be able to express your emotions to others charisma is associated with being emotionally energetic and in other words you wear your heart on your sleeves it's easy for a charming person to show emotions and make them known to others imagine someone you know who's charismatic and think about how they seem to light up any room they walk into this is emotional expressiveness and the opposite of this trait is someone who is too scared to show their emotions in face-to-face communication someone who shows the opposite of this trait might seem like some kind of a robot they tend to keep their emotions bottled up empathy is another part of charisma and it's the ability to read the emotional cues of others in other words you can feel the other person's pain George Clooney is perceived as a sensitive caring person but not to the point of being overly sensitive the ability to feel other people's pain allows you to connect with them on a deeper level and it's part of the art of being charming and charismatic person is not afraid to show their emotions but they're also masters at regulating and controlling their emotions imagine some guy is breaking out in McDonald's because they took too long to make his burger it's obvious that this man is not afraid to show his emotions but he is lacking in the charm Department because he doesn't know how to control and regulate them we've all had times when the fast-food worker messed up our order and we were so angry that we just wanted to throw the burger at them and leave somebody who has started to master the art of charm knows how to put on a poker face so to speak and they know how to hide their emotional states in other words a charismatic person knows how to always appear calm cool and collected despite the fact that he's not tall dark and handsome George Clooney is extremely charming and one of the reasons for this is social expressiveness what I mean by social expressiveness is the ability to engage others in conversations and social interactions a charming person might not be outgoing and extroverted from birth but they can assume these traits when they want to think about Tony Robbins in the way he captivates his audience with countless millions made from his shows he has totally mastered the art of public this man can work the room and speak to an audience of thousands but at the same time he engages with each person in the room on a meaningful level to be more charismatic you must improve your social skills and your ability to engage in conversations with others as you begin to master social interactions you'll start to feel as if you're above the conversations on a higher level and the ability to be charming will start to feel natural and automatic so what else is it that makes Jorge and Brad so charming what is it that makes charismatic people same almost as if they have some sort of superhuman or divine power when around others another piece to the puzzle of charisma is the ability to pick up on and accurately read the tiny details within every social interaction a charming person knows how to listen well and they have great knowledge of social norms and rules a charismatic person is tactful and poised and they have mastered the art of analyzing people during social situations the best way to develop social sensitivity is to spend more time in social interactions in my other videos I recommend turning social interactions into a game when you think about it as a game it takes the pressure off and most importantly it takes something that would normally be extremely scary and makes it harmless fun and exciting the more time you spend interacting with people the better you'll get at reading the tiny details that occur during these interactions and with enough experience you'll have another part of your charm Game Master social control is something that a lot of people won't talk about and it's incredibly important if you want the ability to charm anyone this crucial piece of the charm puzzle involves social role playing if you have a high level of social control you can feel comfortable in any social situation and you'll have no trouble becoming a part of the group when I say social role playing I mean the ability to walk in and take control of almost any social interaction imagine a group of your friends are sitting down at a table in the mall food court and have a conversation going social control is the ability to sit down and take control of the entire conversation when combined with the other traits social control is what makes people great readers personal charisma is like a juggling act because you must balance all of these traits for example think about the guy who didn't get his burger in time at McDonald this guy is obviously not afraid to show his emotions which is part of being charming but he's unbalanced because he has no control over them who do you think is going to get better results the guy who is screaming at the fast-food workers about how angry he is because they messed up his burger and he's going to be late for work or the guy who is also angry but knows how to regulate his emotions and manages to charm the workers the first guy will probably get a meeting with the police and the second guy will walk away with a free burger and leave everybody he interacted with feeling pleasantly delighted after all that's what charm is the ability to leave people feeling pleasantly delighted now that you know the psychological traits of a charming person it's time to learn how you can increase your personal charisma and master the ability to charm anyone the first step to increasing your charms was working on sending receiving reading and controlling emotions the next time you're feeling strong emotions reflect on how you communicated those emotions with the other person a charismatic person is able to convey emotions in a calm cool and collected way put simply you need to get better at communicating with others watch and interact with others to learn how to communicate their emotions other videos won't tell you this but one of the best ways to become more charismatic is to motivate yourself to learn more about social interactions and how they work by genuinely wanting to learn how social situations work and the psychology behind them you'll get better at reading people and once you get good at reading people during social interactions you'll find it much easier to charm them to gain the ability to charm anyone you must know how to behave social situations if you watch George Clooney and Brad Pitt closely in almost any movie you get the sense that they always know exactly what they're doing in fact when it comes to social interactions it's like they couldn't mess something up even if they tried knowing how to behave in social situations is called social control and it will play a major role in your ability to charm anyone social control is being careful with everything you say and do in social interactions and you should avoid getting argumented upset or angry a common myth about charismatic people is that they're fake or insincere the truth is that charisma actually allows you to connect with people in a more meaningful way it makes conversations more rewarding for everyone involved another common myth is that charismatic people use their skill to manipulate others and it's true that some people do this in fact I can think of a few people right off the top of my head that use their charisma to con people one of these individuals actually convinced me to buy a stolen car when I was younger but that's a story for another day there is nothing fake about authentic charisma because the skill is not used to cause any sort of harm to other people all social skills can be used for evil purposes and it's up to you to choose how you want to use them sure you can make like Bernie Madoff and steal over 64 billion dollars from people using your personal charisma or you can use it to build and enhance your personal relationships with others to master the ability to charm anyone there are few other psychological tricks that you can start using immediately first consider using the pratfall effect in social psychology the pratfall effect causes others to view you more attractively after you make or admit to a mistake a studies show that people connect better to people who make or admit their mistakes more than people who seem perfect all the time so if you make a mistake don't be afraid to admit it the final two pieces to the charisma puzzle are confidence and humbleness a famous quote once said humility is not thinking less of yourself it is thinking of yourself less a lot of people think being humble is being weak but it's quite the opposite when given a choice most people would rather be a round phone who is humble than someone who is arrogant in other words don't talk about how cool you are all the time and don't try to make yourself seem way more important than everyone else at the same time you must also be confident you can think of confidence like the gorilla glue that holds everything together without confidence in yourself you'll find it almost impossible to seem charming in social situations because your brain will be too busy doubting your abilities and over analyzing everything you do low self confidence and personal charisma never play well together so if you're lacking in the confidence Department that's okay just start improving it to charm anyone you must also have a sense of humor we all know that one guy who doesn't get any of the jokes especially the ones directed at him charismatic people have a sense of humor even if it's a weird one a famous quote once said charisma is not so much about getting people to like you as it is about getting people to like themselves when you're around one of my favorite movies is Zorro starring Antonio Banderas and while on your journey to mastering the ability to charm anyone I highly recommend watching this movie throughout the movie it's almost like a master of charm teaching an ordinary man or Zorro how to become more charming also be sure to check out the Ocean's eleven movies and watch how George and Brad interact with those around them let me just take a moment to say thank you so much for watching this video to the end and interacting with it because you are the main reason why this channel is closing in on nearly 50,000 subscribers in just under seven months every video you watch every like every comment helps the channel reach more people so in the end we can help one more person become far from average with that said I can't thank you enough and until next time thanks for watching

Channel: FarFromAverage

Views: 1,618,209

Rating: 4.865963 out of 5

Keywords: how to charm anyone, how to, flirting, charisma, dating, body language, seduction, tips, advice, how to be charismatic, how to be more likeable, how to be more charming, charm, how to be memorable, how to increase your influence, how to be charming and witty, how to be a charming man, relationships, psychology, george clooney, brad pitt

Id: sOxD7CP2k_o

Length: 12min 54sec (774 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 15 2017