How to become an expert in vulnerability | Rajiv Nathan | TEDxRushU

[Music] wasn't even started yet all right what if what we think we know about experts is incorrect what if our belief and faith and the expertise process is just wrong today I like the challenge we all think we know and present the argument that expertise does not actually come from being all-knowing and the basis for progress is vulnerability here's how I learned this I recently took a trip to Costa Rica as part of a travel community where the premise of the trip is that you don't know anyone when you leave and you meet everyone on site so I packed this big hiking bag and almost collapsed from the weight made it out to O'Hare Airport on one of our very lovely zero-degree January nights that we all came to know too well and I landed in Costa Rica the next day and that's where I met everyone else at airport pick'em they were all friendly and approachable just as I was expecting there was one guy who stood out in particular he was this jacked asian dude and I'm talking like perfect packs deltoids bearnaise biceps on biceps on biceps huge let's just call him Hulk and Hulk was wearing a tank top which let me know that he was huge he didn't just stand out for his physique though he was also he stood out because he was also clutching a very large bottle of jägermeister and that when I went to introduce myself I could almost anticipate what his response would be and it was very much as I was anticipating I said hi and he's like Oh bro I am so stoked for this trip dude I'm just gonna rip through some shots it's gonna be awesome I can't wait oh my god I have to deal with this meathead we throw our luggage onto the bus and we set out towards the ranch where he'd be staying for the next five days the rides a little bit bumpy because the roads aren't paved so well so I'm starting a little bit nauseous on top of that it's a little bit awkward because we don't all really know each other yet but I'm just staring out that window in the bus trying to soak in the scenery and enjoy this trip as best as I can and all of a sudden a scent makes its way towards my nose and I inhale and as I inhale the memory of all these bad drunken college nights dancing on tables and trying to hit on girls with sup comes rushing back to me it was the smell of Jagermeister and if you're familiar with what Jager smells like then you know it's that black licorice that you get a whiff and you want to vom it was hulking the seat behind me just running through shots of that bottle Oh God I have to deal with this drunken meathead we get to the ranch later that night and I throw my luggage in my room and I take out my journal and I write in it Hulk is so annoying god I hope he doesn't ruin this trip I hope I don't have to deal with him well it was five days 13 people and run a ranch isolated in the Costa Rican rainforest you do the math I was forced to deal with him it would turn out though that that was the best part see because I was forced to deal with him I was forced to interact with him and converse with him and in turn this allowed me to learn from him and learn about him and everything I had perceived about him was way off I mentioned he was Asian specifically it was Cambodian and through talking with him I found out that he was only in this country in the first place because years ago his parents escaped genocide in Cambodia fleeing to America and he knew all about Cambodia is history in world history he would just pepper into these different conversations almost like I casually dropped sports references and that's because I found out he had a master's degree in history here I thought he was all bran turns out he had a lot of brains as well and I wouldn't have learned that if I wasn't forced to deal with him if I had said to myself I could get to know him but I'm not gonna like it and those muscles that he's so proudly sported well those are the result of a spiritual awakening he had at about the age of 18 so he had grown up as the fat kid but around 18 he realized that in order to live a healthy fulfilling and confident life he had to make a serious change and that's when he found himself in the weight room now that was your motivation for wanting to work out wouldn't you want to show the fruits of your labor with the world is it any different than me sharing with my friends and family that I'd be doing this today I think not and I wouldn't have learned this if I wasn't forced to deal with him if I said to myself I could get to know him but I'm not gonna like it as for the Jager well his actual job is a train conductor on the Upper East Coast and the job is so demanding that he really never gets any time off this was his first vacation in about five years so each wanted to cut loose have some drinks and have fun why should I judge him I shouldn't and I wouldn't have learned that about myself and about him I wasn't forced to deal with him if I said said I could get to know him but I'm not gonna like him and as I learned all this about him I think on top of all that I found out that he was one of the most kind caring and genuine people you could ever meet something I would never expect just by looking at him and that's when it hit me that all of this was a result of being in a position of vulnerability I had to take a trip where I didn't know anyone to a country I'd never been to in order to have this forced interaction meet someone new write them off initially but learn all about them and when I thought about this I also it kind of hit me at the same time that this has happened before every major life event I have had has come back to an instance of being put in a position of vulnerability to either learn something about a situation a person or about myself back in high school I was deathly afraid of running the 400-meter racing track I just I didn't have the stamina to do it an entire lap without any brakes come on and then one day my sophomore year my coach forced me to run it well I ran the race I didn't do the best at it but I also fell in love with that race and three years later I ended up graduating with a school record in the four by 400 relay in fact one of my teammates I think is in the crowd right now what's up Dan and that friendship is strengthened by the fact that we were a team together and because I was forced to be in a position of vulnerability by running that race in the first place so I sat down to you know map out this talk and the words came to me the basis for progress is vulnerability but was I an anomaly or was this a larger pattern that transcends time and people the answer is yes it transcends time in people think back in history there was a young prince named Siddhartha who grew up in a life of royalty in his world was the palace grounds but then he ventured beyond the palace grounds and he saw the suffering of man and creatures around him and that caused him to set out on a spiritual quest the result of that quest is what we now call Buddhism Michael Jordan was cut from his junior varsity team and he could have said I could try out again next year but I'm not gonna make it Michael Jordan did try out the next year and I think we're all at least a little familiar with how that one turned out Michael Jordan created Space Jam the greatest movie of all time the thing is though we look at these people who we hold to these high standards the ones that we consider the experts in their fields or in their lives and we look at them and we we see the awards the honors the accolades the newspaper clippings in the titles we obsess over their titles and we think man look at them they're always doing it right they always know what to do but remember what I asked at the start what if our faith and belief in experts and the expertise process is actually wrong it's not that they always know except they always know that they don't know because success is born from the unknown and the basis for progress is vulnerability the basis for progress is vulnerability and that's all fine and good right but where does that leave us do we have to start a religion or win six NBA championships or more importantly team up with Bugs Bunny and defeat a team of space aliens absolutely not all we have to do is take seemingly comfortable situations flip the script on turn them on their head a little bit make them uncomfortable think about the moments you have had desires or aspirations to go out and do something and then you never did them because you fell back into comfort you protected yourself from vulnerability you thought to yourself I could do that and then you said oh but I'm not maybe you have an idea I'd like to start a business oh but I'm not an entrepreneur but I'm not really experienced in business but I'm not but I'm not or maybe even just socially you're out with friends and you think to yourself I should have go ask that person out but I'm not gonna know what to say but I'm not their type ooh but I'm not a dating expert and this but I'm not practice we keep doing it but I'm not and all it really does is it prevents us from ever doing anything it's comfortable we rather make take these situations and make a simple with the fundamental mindset shift gotta go from but I'm not - because I am I'd like to start a business because I am interested in developing a product that someone might want or need I'd like to ask that person out because I'm at least as good-looking as half the other people here when you think in terms of because I am you don't focus on the outcome but I'm not as entirely outcome focused right but I'm not an entrepreneur well you've become an entrepreneur after some trials and errors after you start a process you don't start being entrepreneur because I am is process focused and when you become process focused you develop progress and as you develop progress you start to set out on a path towards expertise and that brings us to right now let's have some fun you're all pretty comfortable in these seats I'm the one alone up here it was uncomfortable what I'm gonna do is place you guys a position of vulnerability when I say go I want you to turn to the person next to you introduce yourself real quick and tell them one desire or goal you have for the year one aspiration it could be something like traveling to a new country starting a business or something as simple as maybe losing weight or hosting a dinner party or organizing an event whatever your desire aspiration is I want you to voice it to that person what I want you to follow it with because I am for instance me personally I would like to be interviewed on Chicago public radio WBEZ because I am a strong communicator with powerful stories that's your turn you ready go [Music] [Music] all right let's let's bring it back up here it's kind of fun right see it's like it's probably a little bit uncomfortable at first isn't it to express to either someone you know or a complete stranger something you may have never voiced before but that's the point it's supposed to be uncomfortable but when you express that thing that that's burning inside you when you express that and then you follow it because I am you start to build a little bit of confidence then confidence leads towards progress and progress puts you towards expertise I remember but I'm not as outcome focused because I am this process and progress oriented in fact the president of Pixar was recently quoted as saying that start a slogan should be considered as starting points not as conclusions when you express that you get to share your desire with the world and the world cannot give you what it has unless you tell the world what you want on my last day in Costa Rica I saw someone holding a really fat yellow softball-sized lemon and I wanted to get a picture of the lemon tree because the name of my business is ideal weather so I have one of the ranch workers take me down to a lemon tree here's what she showed if you're struggling to see with the light those are green and like any sane person I was like well these are limes can I see some lemons please and she tells me actually these are lemons we have a lot of green lemons that grow in Costa Rica and that's when it hit me this was the perfect metaphor for my friend the Hulk I had gone in assuming one thing assuming he was just this muscle dude wasn't smart and was annoying but it took a position of vulnerability I went on that trip I had a forced interaction to learn that he was so much more and in fact I'll be having dinner with him next Monday night he's gonna have a fun time hearing about this talk just as with lemons I've always believed lemons to be yellow but it took one new conversation one new interaction to learn that sometimes lemons are green remember man's thoughts and actions only go so far as our willingness and ability to challenge them so the more you place yourself in vulnerability and discomfort the more you challenge and the more you grow to bring this whole thing full circle about ten days ago I thought I had a knockout TED talk but I placed myself in a position of vulnerability by practicing in front of friends and strangers and having them fire their critique at me because I am open to improvement and the result of that critique was a rewrite of the entire thing ten days ago and what I've told you today is vastly different and far better than what I would have said ten days ago and that's because the basis for progress is vulnerability thank you [Applause]

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 28,524

Keywords: TEDxTalks, English, Culture, tedx talks, Career/Life Development, Life, ted talks, tedx, United States, ted x, tedx talk, ted talk, ted

Id: i6LU_kUwySI

Length: 16min 37sec (997 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 21 2014