How To Be Popular As An Introvert

Keanu Reeves has become the Internet's crush whether he knows it or not and now you've been dubbed the Internet's boyfriend how do we feel about that Ivan what normally on the channel we cover extroverted celebrities who charm in larger obvious ways but what is amazing about Keanu aside from the fact that he's 54 and looks 34 is that he is massively popular in spite of his reclusive 'ti and more introverted nature so in this video we're going to explore why Keanu is so popular while you learn to exude incredible charisma as an introvert or even just someone who is quieter or a bit shy first off key on o often directs and redirects praise towards others when receiving awards he spends a tremendous amount of time talking about the contributions of the people around him I am NOT here without working with such talented artists and people Berwyn without all of what you did for me I would not be here so thank you I am forever grateful one reporter even jokes about how bad Keanu is at taking compliments to which he immediately launches into spreading the praise again now sometimes there's no one around to redirect praise towards so when a question arises that implies some sort of admirable trait Keano tends to deflect with humor like in this case what is your secret for always staying down-to-earth well I mean gravity to be clear there is no such thing as being too humble but sometimes low self-esteem can mask itself as humility and that makes it impossible for someone to sit in pride at their accomplishments as CS Lewis said true humility is not thinking less of yourself it is thinking of yourself less the most charismatic thing to do if you'd rather not be in the limelight for praise isn't to duck compliments entirely or to clam up when you're in that position instead give a heartfelt thank you show the complimentary that you appreciate their words and then redirect towards others that helped in that case it's not about lowering yourself instead it's about elevating others the second thing that you'll likely notice about Keanu is his zen-like presence like many introverts he speaks in quiet calming tones in Parabellum part of the that we've expanded is it's multiple people more multiple people sometimes this more calm type we'll find it hard to hold the attention of a high energy group the good news is that you can sometimes use this to your advantage without changing your style and you can do that by making the content of what you are saying mismatched that laid-back style and you do this for humorous effect so deliver a dramatic punchline in a really calm tone like this do your action as opposed to your stunt okay so I'll do some fight scenes and then John wick will get hit by a car and that's Jackson Speidel this calm attitude isn't going to exude charisma on its own though as we saw with sophie turner moments of punctuated enthusiasm are often incredibly captivating when coming from a more laid-back introverted individual a word or two in a louder tone can go a long way towards rehook in an audience that isn't paying full attention watch how Keanu does it but perhaps Kiana's most effective tool for making his calm demeanor charismatic instead of law flowery and one that you should definitely take are his enthusiastic hand motions when he's interested in the topic he's speaking about he just sticky lates like crazy he goes big he goes small and he sometimes rocks between the two one particular motion that is a favorite of Keanu is this little hand rub and he does this before going into a story that gives the impression that whatever's coming next is going to be really juicy it's a nice little trick to get people to listen to stories if you don't have that booming extroverted nature when you start now I have to say technically from a pure public speaking perspective not everything that Keanu does is ideal for instance check out this clip where Keanu speaks without looking Steven in the eye you know I worked with the second generation horse master Ted Griffith and his family and long periods of unsustained eye contact tend to break rapport when you're in conversation so I don't advise doing this purposely but it was actually this clip that unlocked one of the most interesting things I saw in Keanu as I look back over other interviews I saw that he sometimes goes into longer stretches without looking the interviewer in the eye and when he does so he usually looks down and to the right now I have to pause here to tell you a little bit about NLP according to NLP there are three primary modalities in which we represent the world in our own heads there's visual like when you see an image in your head audio hearing music and kinesthetic remembering the feel of the wind on your face for instance and people tend to prefer using one of these most of the time so when you're in a visual mode you may talk faster you're seeing pictures after all communicate and imagery and say things like I see your point rather than I hear you or I feel you when you're in an audio mode you tend to think in words you'll be more likely to engage in prolong conversation and will be more sensitive to loud or jarring noises but when you watch Keanu tell stories it's clear that he is demonstrating the more rare third modality kinesthetic he's experiencing the story through how it felt more than how it looked or how it sounded now it also matches the kinesthetic types in that he speaks more slowly gesticulates often and often words don't quite communicate what he wants to say which brings us back to the last indicator of Keanu's type and the one that I mentioned first his eyes according to NLP the area that your eyes dart to when you're thinking is indicative of the mode that you are currently in and down to the right is most commonly associated with you guessed it the kinesthetic modality now I bring all of this up for two main reasons first off because the high-level communicator can identify the style of the people around them and adjust their own to match that preferred style so paying attention to indicators is critical and if you're interested we can cover it in depth in another video but secondly Keano is so likeable partially because he embraces his kinesthetic nature which leads him to spending time doing what he loves he's passionate about motorcycles he loves to do his own stunts and even the feel of vinyl records is important to him there's so many things in life were losing a kind of materiality I have to call in your contact so if you're interested we can make a whole video on identifying people's primary modality but for the purpose of this video when you see that someone is heavily kinesthetic spend more one-on-one time with them while doing inactivity it's more effective and simply relying on conversation even if fewer words are being exchanged likewise if you're a kinesthetic type and you're looking to make more friends avoid going to dinners or cocktail parties or bars or clubs instead participate in groups that make some kind of activity the focal point around which socializing can occur now that's enough of a digression for now we've arrived at what I think is the most important thing that makes Keanu Keanu and that is his character I don't obviously know the guy but by all accounts from his colleagues he's a very generous person for instance he did this for the cast of The Matrix Reloaded he managed to secure 12 custom Harley Davidsons for each of the guys and kind of surprise the whole crew with that that may not impress you because Keanu does have a lot of money but what is certainly impressive is his generosity with his time his interactions with fans appear unrushed and he was the only person to stop on the side of the road and help Octavia Spencer when her car broke down he didn't know who she was he just decided to pull over and push her broken down car as other people sped past my car broke down at the middle of the crazy intersection at sunset and until Keanu Reeves oh I was gonna have him you know get in and I was gonna push it and he was like no no I'm gonna push you and I'm thinking oh he's gonna touch my car and that's not to mention all the other fun internet anecdotes about Keanu like the time that he hung out with a homeless guy or entertained passengers on a flight after they had to make an emergency landing and take a van to their destination through Bakersfield I think the reason that most people are not this open is not because they don't know how to be but because they're scared connecting with strangers especially those who want or need something from you can be scary but despite having more people that would love to absorb his time money and energy than almost anyone keanu has more compassion than almost anyone let's be real most people don't stop to help the person in the broken-down car or to hang out with the homeless and it's that willingness to give that makes him someone to admire even when his charisma or public speaking isn't pitch perfect so if you want to start developing character like this if you want to be more giving realize that Keanu is able to do this in large part because he has defined what doesn't matter he doesn't have any social media and where does he go to socialite parties nor does he seem to worry about stuff puppies bite his shoes in this next clip and rather than protect his fancy things he just goes with the flow I communicate alright we're good and you're eating my shoelace if you're interested in developing more of this kind of character in being more compassionate more generous and generally happier when life throws you curveballs you too will have to define what does not matter to you you can't prioritize everything the good news is that if you do decide to let go of caring about your name-brand stacked wardrobe or your follower count or your income relative to your peers you free up space for other things for the things that tend to make people truly happy your relationships the work that you are passionate about and giving back now if you do that you think of yourself less without thinking less of yourself and then you two may start dropping Zen gems like Keanu what do you think happens when we die Keanu Reaves I know that the ones who love us will miss us now as I was making this video I saw the PewDiePie also did one on Keanu and it ended like this so in the spirit of Keanu Reeves and making this video I wanted to donate all the profit that this video makes to the leukemia Research Foundation and reflecting on that and spending all week researching Tiana's generosity and kindness I was inspired to do something that I've been saving up for for a good while the plan was for this to be a birthday event in October but Keanu and then PewDiePie convinced me to not wait so in honor of Keanu generosity and to echo PewDiePie's donation we are going to be donating $100,000 to charity water and it would mean the world to us if you joined us in making a contribution as well now to be clear my donation is only possible due to you if you've watched our videos or joined charisma university you are the reason that charisma on command exists like he on who says we are not here at all without our fans and it is 100% thanks to all of you that over 3,000 people have their lives transformed by getting access to clean water charity waters entire mission is to get clean water to people who don't have access to it people who might be walking miles just to have drinking water for their day who are getting sick and even dying from contaminations in dirty water so to make a dent and to do something good Ben and I set up a campaign at Charity water.org slash charisma the first hundred thousand dollars is already in there and if you're feeling inspired by Keanu or PewDiePie or us or the people whose lives you will change please consider donating $30 gives one person access to clean water for roughly 10 years but truly any amount makes a difference and quite frankly caring enough to give anything is a sign that the world is in good hands again thank you I cannot believe that we have arrived at a point where a donation of this size is even fathomable for us I never thought this would be possible and we owe it all to you we're very excited to pay it forward I hope that you guys have enjoyed this video I'll see you in the next one you

Channel: Charisma on Command

Views: 2,574,398

Rating: 4.9529395 out of 5

Keywords: charisma on command, charismaoncommand, coc, charlie houpert, charisma, keanu reeves, keanu, keanureeves, keanu reeves puppies, john wick, keanu reeves cyberpunk, keanu reeves (celebrity), keanu reeves interview, charisma on command keanu reeves, charity water, charity, donating 100 000 dollars, pewdiepie, how to be popular as an introvert, how to socialize as an introvert, social skills for introverts

Id: wHHwE8Y-pqk

Length: 12min 31sec (751 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 24 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/MyUsername0_0]

I need this advice, as a natural introvert its exhausting being social. I've noticed that days where I'm tired or not feeling like socializing I go out still but it's pointless for me as I don't socialize. I need to work on how to make lasting impressions even when I'm not feeling 100%.

[u/UserNameTaken_2018]

Now, I too can be breathtaking!

[u/wirelezz]

I liked this video. However it did not start answering the question it presents: "Why is Keanu so popular". This video discusses way too much about hand gestures and zen talking.

As with seduction, we tend to focus on how to act, instead on who you are. So the video talks a LOT about how Keanu interacts with others. The outer game vs Inner game.

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The reason Keanu is so loved is because of who he is: the hollywood star who uses the subway, he donates to charity, he stops to help people (this was mentioned in the video) he is humble. In other words, Keanu is relatable to us. He is the personification of the ideal star who treats you like a brother. Not because he rubs his hands before he will say something juicy.

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So become a person of value.

[u/YoichiLD]

This video gave me even more thoughts to stumble over before talking.

[u/hanifh2]

good find. saved.

[u/stellarguymk]

I used to be painfully shy and introverted, but I've noticed myself doing these things more recently. I think the key is literally thinking about myself less and having a couple or three really important (to me) things to talk about.

[u/BreakTheWallsDown95]

Solid video. Charisma’s CharismaUniversity course is pretty great, I’m slowly going through all the modules and learning tremendously.