- Everyone does not have
to believe what I believe but I want everyone to
feel like they matter, they have purpose, they
have someone who loves them, will listen to them, care for them. And I actually think we could
do that on a grand scale. And I imagine communities
that can also do that before you know it, we can
have a lot less lonely people in the world. And that would be pretty awesome. (audience applauding) - Everybody, welcome to Impact Theory. You're here, my friends,
because you believe that human potential is nearly limitless,
but you know that having potential's not the same as actually doing something with it. So our goal with this show and
company is to introduce you to the people and ideas
that will help you actually execute on your dreams. All right, today's guest
is the chaplain for the Seattle Seahawks and leads
a mega church attended by over 10,000 people. He is one of the most
phenomenal public speakers I have ever seen, and
he's making so many waves that he's been interviewed
by everyone from Maria Shriver to The Today Show. Known as the Millennial
Preacher to The Stars, he counts Justin Bieber,
Russell Wilson, Kevin Durant, Tim Tebow, and top golfer
Bubba Watson as congregation members and close friends. And while I'm sure he hates
any title with "to the stars" in it, his impact in some
of the biggest athletes in the world led Fox Sports
to call him one of the most influential people
in the sports today, a pretty incredible title
for someone who doesn't play or even coach. But no matter what you call him, it's impossible to deny
that he's tapped in the youth culture in a
powerful way and captured the imagination of an
entirely new generation of people that had been moving away from organized religion in droves. With over one million social followers, 50,000 people listening
to his sermons online and churches in Seattle, Los
Angeles, and Guadalajara, it's easy to see that
he's touched a nerve. And having witnessed
him on stage first-hand, I can tell you right now that
he manages to bring together and electrify the most eclectic
group of people I have ever seen in one space from
rabbis to die-hard hipsters, celebrities, and everyone in between: the young, the old, the
well-dressed, the under-dressed, and the kid with a sequin trucker hat that simply read fuck. He welcomes everyone regardless
of faith and captivates them with stories with not only who they are but who they can becomes. A seventh generation pastor
who is radically inclusive and clearly one of the
greatest orders of our time. He's got insights, wisdom,
and a deep humility that transcend faith and denomination,
and make his message truly accessible to all. So please help me in
welcoming the New York Times best selling author who
is changing the phase of religion one Instagram
post at a time, Judah smith. (audience applauding) - How're you doing? So good. (indistinct talking) Good. - Thank you for being here. - What an intro. I wanna meet that guy. - You made that very easy,
very easy because I've seen you speak and I've seen you speak live. Now the great irony of all of this is is that a mutual friend of
ours who happens to be Jewish is the guy that took me to see you speak. - Yeah. - And he was saying that
regardless of faith, denomination, he was like, every time
I go see Judah speak, I feel better. Now that was such a really interesting. So I wanted to go, I wanted
to see it for myself, and I was captivated is the right word. And as somebody who at
least makes part of my living speaking, I was astonished. In fact, I had a moment like you had. You played, so you played basketball. - I did, I was a hooper. - And you played against Kid Tracy. - Tracy McGrady. - Okay, Tracy McGrady. And you said when you
saw him play, it made you wanna quit.
- I quit. I did quit. That's a true story. I did. - Seeing you speak made me wanna quit. No, no, no, I'm deadly serious. It was crazy.
- Thank you. - So before we get into
that, I know that we'll talk more about that later, but I
wanna start with Pete Caroll, the Seahawks, and leadership. So how'd you get that gig
and what is Coach Caroll-- - It's the greatest job I've ever had. I have to say that. And I don't know if that's
okay to say like if church members are watching, but
being like the chaplain for your favorite sports
team in the world, I still pinch myself out of that. - So you've said that Coach Caroll may be the greatest
leader you've ever seen, what makes him great? - There's nothing about Coach
Caroll that is disingenuine. I don't even know if it's in
his DNA to be disingenuine. He says what he means, follows
through on what he does, and cares so deeply. We'll have guys that will be
in workouts that aren't even on the team yet and coaches
there to affirm them and encourages them, and say hey, man, it's real honor to have you here. It's completely abnormal how
much he cares about people. Any room he walks in to
he makes an eye contact. The little things that
I think are big things, makes eye contact will make connections, shake your hand, hey, are you doing good? And when he asks are you doing good, he doesn't walk away, it's not rhetorical. Like when he says are you doing good, he waits for a response. And so I watch him like
a hawk, to be honest, no puns definitely intended. And with the Seahawks I've
just learned so much from him. I really respect him. I love his wife, his
family, his son, Nate, also leads on the team. And I just hope he's watching right now. I love you, Coach. (laughter) - For anybody that wants
to be a better leader, what are some principles that you think any great leader does? - Someone asked me one time, they said, when do you think you
became a good communicator? First of all, I love the question. I'm like, you're insinuiting
I'm a good communicator, thank you. And I said, I actually have an answer. I know exactly what had
happened which is weird. I'm definitely kind of an
abstract random person, so sometimes I don't
have concrete answers, but I had one. And it was when I cared more
about people than speaking or preaching. And when I walk through that
threshold and fell in love with people who trusted me to lead them or add value to them, I got lost. An all of the sudden the gift
that I had been working on for so long was free
to be what it truly is. And coach embodies, he really kinda lose, he's not thinking I'm gonna lead today, I'm gonna be a leader today. I think he's thinking I'm
gonna love these guys, I'm gonna encourage these
guys, I'm gonna build them up. And so I think
intentionality's so imperative, but as you develop your
gift and your ability and it grows, well, if you
fall in love with the people that give you the privilege
and honor to guide them and lead them, it never
ceases to amaze me, Tom. I'll be in a green room
looking out kind of the back of our, one of our buildings
and I see single moms in the rain in Seattle,
pulling, trying to find a parking spot to come to
church or come hear me speak and it's like, whoa, I really gotta love this
individual today to ensure that the effort they took
to get there pays off. So coach is, he really
cares about people first. - That's cool. And one thing that I like
about that assessment is also, and you've said this, that in
sports it's black and white, you either win or you lose. So how do you marry some of
the softer side of leadership with loving, leading with
intention, and the like but we need to win. And they're an extraordinary
team and have been in what? Two Superbowls in recent memory. So how as a leader do you, and they're in many ways correlates between what you've done with your church, which is now massive, how
do you continue to push that forward and make the church
bigger and more successful and marry that softer side? Like where does the drive and
just execution path come in? - The word accountability comes to mind. And I'm really on this
journey right now discovering what true accountability is
and that it's first of all it's steeped in ancient Scripture. And this idea of real relationship,
I don't know if there is such a thing apart from
accountability I am prone to because love, love, love is like my mantra because of what I believe
and I'm passionate about adding love and care and
concern and value to people that way that sometimes I
cannot keep people accountable. And so, like I read The
Advantage by Lencioni and he talked about one
of the last cowardice act of a leader is firing someone sometimes that you were never willing
to keep accountable. And kind of in my line
of work, so to speak, we just kinda love hug and
hey, if you don't come to work today, if you don't deliver,
if you don't produce, if you aren't good at your job, it's okay. God loves you, I love you. And that's sloppy, it's not
authentic, it's not genuine. And so what I have learned
from Russell, QB1, or coach is that keeping each other
accountable actually breeds intimacy, it breeds camaraderie,
and it's a beautiful thing. So I guess the only answer
I could give right now is I'm really leaning in to what does accountability look like. I don't think I'm good at it
and I wanna be good at it. I love to love people, but
part of loving people is saying hey, you need to follow through. And I think that's where coach
will love all the players but oh, my God, I mean,
if they don't deliver, if they don't make the catch,
if they don't run the route, if they don't make the block,
he's the first guy in there faced to say you are letting,
as he says, the team down and the family down. Pull your weight. And I think there's a beauty
to that that actually breeds security 'cause you're like
dad or the coach is gonna tell me the truth if I need
to show her some things up. - Wow, that is actually really amazing. And in business I have
found something similar to be true and it stung
a little when you said, 'cause I haven't read the
book that you mentioned. - Okay, yeah. - And when you talked about
that it's actually laziness to fire somebody that
you weren't holding them accountable for the whole thing. And I get that and have been
guilty of that in the past. So how can, if somebody
is rather than the coach or the player, how can they
embrace accountability? What are the things you do you said that you wanna be more accountable? What are things you do in your life to actually work towards that? - Not avoid conflict,
which is part of not only what this book speaks to,
but what I've experienced. Avoiding conflict minimizes
the depth of relationship that you're gonna experience, and of course, the excellence in which you can experience
progress and fulfillment and live your dreams. And so we are conditioned,
particularly, if I could speak to people in the faith community, work very conditioned to
just like love, love, love. It's all good and it gets very greasy and it's not authentic. So I think you actually address, hey, there needs to be some
conflict here and this is good. So this literally happened yesterday in one of our executive meetings, is two individuals in the
meeting, I was like, hey, you're not saying anything,
you just shut down. You are clearly, visibly
your body language is you are frustrated. You guys need to have a conflict
right now, and it's good so let's go. And sure enough this person was like, well, I feel like intimidated. And this person is like,
what are you talking about? It was six weeks ago,
and I'm like, here we go. And I stopped them for a second,
I said, now this is good. This is family, we're
gonna keep doing this. But before the emotion begins,
we've gotta set up like, okay, we're going to look for
conflict in this relationship, in this business, in this organization because it's going to be good for us and it's gonna keep us from being robots and show up to work where eventually, we despise where we work because nobody's genuine and honest. And we end up talking at the water cooler, about the person we should
be talking to face-to-face. So I think really leaning into conflict and now you're picking up
on where we are right now as an organization,
where I'm at as a leader is I've been avoiding conflict and I'm like making guys get into it and gals get into it
in a really healthy way in a safe environment. - Have you read Principles by Ray Dalio? - No. - Oh, dude, I think you would love it. So--
- Okay, I will. - Literally what you're describing is, is what he writes in
that book that need for saying the honest thing,
saying the hard things that ultimately though that's
the only kind of culture that's sustainable, that's scalable. And yeah, like really taking
the time to save the things that are obvious, but something about society
tells us not to say. Like when you see the
person is clearly pissed off and shut down, but
actually saying it out loud is pretty incredible. And I wanna take that
and talk about athletes, so calling out the obvious
saying that nobody talks about seems to be something inherent
in athletics that I love, which is the black and white
thing that you talked about, you either win or you lose, how can people bring that
notion into real life where it is so hazy? How can you get like a laser clarity? - I definitely think, recently,
I was hearing a speaker and he says, what do you want? And the room gets quiet, and he's like, most people don't say
what they want in life. Where they wanna go, who they wanna be. They take it as it comes, which is really disturbing
and sad, but it's true. Like friends, is we take
friendships as they come. We're just like, well,
I guess we kinda met and you like juice boxes
and I like juice boxes, so let's just hang out and like talk about Capri Sun or whatever. And it's like no, like I'm
gonna pursue people that, I mean, like you do. I feel like you challenge
me in that regard. Like you're pursuing people
that you wanna mine out the gold in them and learn from them, and I think we ought to be
more intentional and be honest what do I want, what kind
of friends do I want, what kind of life do I want, and then I think speak
that out, first of all. Like declare that. Be honest. Recently, I did an exercise
again back to our team and they said why do we exist? Judah, why do you exist? Why do we exist? Not the answer you think
you're supposed to give, but the answer like the
truth of what you want and why you exist. And creating a safe space with the people that you intentionally you
have chosen your life to go all right, we're gonna get
bare bones honest here. This is actually what I want in life. This is actually why exist. And then we've gotta like hold each other accountable to that. Like, bro, you can't wake
up at 11 p.m. every day if that's what you want. And I think that's why I'm a
big proponent of community. I don't think people can be
who they're supposed to be without community. And community doesn't
have to be 10,000 people. It can be five, it can be three. It can be the right people. Not just a bunch of people,
but the right people. It's been said, show me your friends, I'll show you your future. Like it's real. I can tell you where
you're going right now by the people you're hanging
out with on a consistent basis. - So that's one of the
questions that I get asked most in the world, which is
if you're the average of the five people you
spend the most time with, then how do I find those people? - How aggressive do you wanna be? I'm married to the woman
I'm married to today because I drove three hours
from Seattle to Portland. Didn't have a second thought about it. And by the way, at a moment's
notice, if she's like I got 10 minutes later today, I'm like I can get there in three hours. I'm gonna be there at your doorstep and I'm gonna keep bugging you. I have friends today,
if I could be so bold, and I am their friends because
they finally wore me down. And it was like, you know
what, we're gonna hang out because you're always around. And one of the teaching
steeped in ancient Scripture is abide in me and I'll abide in you. And my pastor, my mentor,
his name is Brian Houston, pastors of a Global Church. He doesn't have to text me or call me. I text him. I call him. I'm always where he's at. If he's in the States, he's usually in Australia,
if he's in the States, guess who's gonna be around him? I'm gonna be there. If he's speaking somewhere, I'm
gonna do my best to be there because I chose him. And eventually he's like,
all right, all right. He sounds like Bruce, the shark. He's like all right, mate, all right and we end up just being together. But I would say, man, get aggressive. And I feel like I can make an assumption that I think you're that way too. It's like, no, I'm gotta
get to know this person. I wanna be around this person. And you say, well, Judah,
they live across the world. I can't even meet, well then
download all their material. Get everything they have. Read it, devour it, study,
watch, and grow and learn. - Dude, so I'm not religious
at all, but what I love is that it's harder to be like
you are and to have grown like you've grown in
a religious community. In some ways, it's been
easier for me because I'm not beholden a certain set
of rules and guidelines. How on earth have you
built what you've built? People must be giving you like a hard time about the size of the
church, how visible you are that it is very easy to call you famous. When I went to see you speak
and we went backstage briefly and I won't mention any names you haven't already talked about publicly, but, dude, there were so
many famous people backstage. I was like, duh, what is happening? Like it was pure insanity. And how have you been
able to stay the course to be aggressive, to say what you want, to go after it, to build it and only include more and more people? Have you not alienated? Like when I, dude, honestly, I've never seen a more collective
group of people together. It's not just a bunch of hipster kids, like it was there were old people there, there was a rabbi. It was so crazy. So how do you balance the you guys wanna hold me to this standard, the traditional religious narrative, but this is what I want in the
world and still go after it? - Honestly, the only true answer
I can give is relationship and the power of relationship. I'm a curious person, so I
love listening to people. I love hearing your story. I'm a quick assimilator, so I love to just like,
whoa, I'm gonna take that. I'm gonna take that. I'm not a big reader, that's
my dirty little secret. And leaders are readers,
and readers are leaders so I'm failing, but I love to read people. I love to read people. I'll read people all day long. I love reading body language,
I love room dynamics, how people are feeling
because of who they are, how they look or their
background and culture. So I love that, and I feel
like that certainly helps us tell a story that hopefully
resonates with people. But big picture, I'm a seventh generation
speaker, communicator. My dad is my hero. I was given such a secure life. My dad was the most loving, caring person. Tom, every day of my life,
my dad said, people like you and they wanna hear what you have to say. People like you and they wanna
hear what you have to say. So I gotta be really honest, I
had a huge head start in life and I have to own that. - That's incredible, and
I definitely wanna talk about your dad in a minute,
but something you said in there I wanna go back to which is
you're really vulnerable. And seeing you up on stage and being so, like you never try to
make yourself look cool. And I mean, look, and I think you're probably
self-aware enough to know that that's, in some ways,
the ultimate form of cool, but you admit things that
you're struggling with and do it in a way that
makes that really accessible. Was that a choice? Like what's the power of vulnerability, I guess is my real question. - It's definitely steeped in our tradition and what's taught in Scripture. That's my ultimate inspiration. I also was taught at a very
young age that people relate to your weaknesses far
more than your strengths. And preachers, if I could be so bold, are the absolute worst at this. Our platforms are getting
higher and bigger. I think the trend ought
to be our platforms, it might not be the actual stage height, but you know what I mean metaphorically. They need to get smaller and
we need to recognize that, like I told a pastor
friend of my recently. I'm like you lead a church,
but you're not in it. Like you lead a community, but
you don't participate in it. You're just a pro-speaker
that shows up on Sundays, but you actually don't bleed with anybody. You actually don't weep with anybody. You don't share your
problems and challenges and weights and difficulties. It's like you and your wife
and you just kinda hunker down. When are you gonna be in the community? The real story is I was 13 when my dad started the
church I now pastor, so it's been my family. This is my community. I'm not speaking professionally to people, I'm talking to people who have raised me. Mt first job at the church
was cleaning toilets. I was a custodian listening
to Bishop T.D. Jakes, listening to Tony Robbins, listening to others learning and growing. And so I'm just gonna be that guy 'cause that's just really who I am. - Talk to me about that, the
learning and growing part. So you, and I don't wanna
make you uncomfortable by continuing to harpen this, but I'll tell you a quick
story from my own background. So I used to wanna be a stand-up comic. When I was a teenager,
that was my real pursuit. I was going hard for it. And I went and did an open mic, and the way that open mic nights work is it starts with a
really crowded audience and then established
comedians come through and they try out their stuffs
like a random Tuesday night, and so it's not like a
big audience or anything. There's about 300 people to start. After so many of these
famous comedians are gone, there's terrible material 'cause
they're just trying it out. There was literally, I don't
know, seven or eight of us, 15, something like that left. And me and my friend get up to leave and this manager comes
on and he goes, guys, the funniest man in America
is about to walk out on stage and you're gonna wanna stay for this. And so I grabbed my friend. I'm like, ah, what do we have to lose. Let's sit back down, we'll watch. And this guy comes out and he was like, everybody, Mitch Hedberg. And I'd never heard of Mitch
Hedberg ever in my life. And for those of you that
don't know Mitch Hedberg, probably the funniest
human being ever to live. And so at the end of that, I was like, yeah, I'm not doing stand-up comedy. Because in all seriousness,
to get that good, I would have had to dedicate myself to it in a way that I wasn't prepared to. Not that I couldn't get that good. Not that my belief system is that I could have gotten that good if I wanted to, but I just
looked at the amount of time that it would take to
become that extraordinary, and it was unbelievable. When I saw you on stage, I was thinking, how much time did it
take to get that good? Like, how do you get that good? - I mean, first of all, I would like to do this
interview with you every day because I really feel
like we need to do that. It's not for me, man, it's for you. Like I just need you to
encourage me like this. Yeah, so I don't feel like that co-host. Is that something we're
doing here, 'cause, you know. Well, my dad, I grew up watching my dad and he grew up watching his dad. I started doing this at nine years old just to audiences ranging
from 4,000 to 400. I'd get on the stage and dad would say, this is my son Judah Edward Smith. And he'd say, son, basically take it away and I would tell my story of
how I almost died three times before the age of one years old and that I believe that
my life had purpose, and then I'm here for a reason. It's not an accident. And so I have to own the fact that I got to start
speaking at nine years old and listen to who I think
is the most authentic man who's ever lived speak over 800 times. I guess to answer your question honestly, I have been doing this since
I was, over 30 years now since I was nine. - Wow. I mean, the classic tale, right? So if you know the
story of Amadeus Mozart, everybody uses him as
the example of somebody who was just born with
talent, then you realize, actually his father was a piano teacher who specialize in teaching children, and Mozart started
playing when he was two. So by the time he's 12, 13 he's already been
playing for 10 plus years and he practiced like a
fiend because he loved it. Then he'd begin to realize that there, that even someone like you
or someone like Mozart, it's like there's a lot
of hours of practice that go into that. So now, talking about your dad, the person that you watched 800 times, so one, what are some qualities that you've taken away from him? - Any room he walked into, he never, cliche, never knew a stranger, but like, my dad's value was, if there's someone in
this room that classically would be ignored because
they're simply a helper, or they're a worker, or
they're an assistant, all these horrific
categories we place on people to devalue them, even subconsciously, my dad raged against that. The first person he wanted
to talk to was the person that maybe wasn't even acknowledged. Hey, my name is Wendell. What's your name? What's your story? And so when you watch
that your whole life, that becomes a massive value. So my dad taught me from a young age, hey, we look for lonely people. So if you ask my 13,
11, and eight-year-old who are you guys? They would tell you we're Smiths. We're kind and encouraging,
and we look for lonely people. And so I adored that about my dad. I felt like it made us different. I felt like when we walked into a room when the Smiths show up,
you're gonna see a difference. - How did you handle his passing? - Really well until three months. He was gone. We did the funeral. 5,000 people showed up for his funeral, which is pretty radical and I don't know, tens of thousands watched online. And I cried. I wrote letters to my dad at
the funeral that I shared, and then I started to try to
lead the church that he left and doing the best I could. We had made the transition
right before he had passed and so I'm in it, I'm
it, I'm it, I'm in it. We have a board meeting. And my uncle is on the
board, so is my mom. It's not all family. And then other board members,
and they said, how are you? And I'm like, I guess I'm
the chairman of the board, but I'm like 30 and I'm like, ah. And then the waterworks came. And I'm like, I am not okay. I miss my dad. This sucks. I don't care about preaching and teaching. By the way, I'm out of all of my material. Like I feel like I preached
all the sermons I can. I feel trapped. I feel lonely. I feel all these things. And so, Chealse and I
went to our happy place, which is Palm Springs for a month and we spent time together. We cried, we laughed, we told stories, we prayed, we read, we walked, played golf and I came back with an
appreciation for my dad that was very healing. All of a sudden, I became grateful. All of a sudden, instead
of people would say, hey, sorry about your dad. Man, it sucks about your dad. Everything changed for me,
and I said, wait a minute. No, no I got the best dad for 60 years. Am I not the luckiest
man who's ever lived? How many people don't even have dads? Don't even have a father figure? Don't even have an uncle to call? I got the best most
secure man in the world for 60 years to raise me, oh, no, no, no I have
nothing to complain about. I have everything to be grateful about. And that gratitude and
that attitude of gratitude, which rhymes, has healed and changed me. - And so after that, what
do you tell people now if they're in that moment,
they haven't had that realization of gratitude, how
do you help them through that? - I definitely don't go
there straight out the gate. I think that can be come
across as a little crass and maybe a little insensitive. The first thing I say to be, I guess I'm just gonna tell you the truth. I'm about to lose probably
it could be today, it could be tomorrow. It's very soon. The only real grandfather I ever had, I'd never had a grandfather,
but this was my grandfather and I call him grandpa, so I went to see him. He's not hungry. He's 85, and so I'll probably have
to say goodbye to him within the next couple of days. There's no quick fix,
and I would oppose anyone who says there's a
quick fix for the heart. There's a quick fix for a broken heart. There's not. Time can be healer,
relationships can be healer, and memories can be healer. But it's real, man. And you gotta know there's
somebody watching right now who's going through something like that. And for me to sit here
and give you cliche, little curt answers to like
no, there's none of that. There's just brokenness,
and pain, and hurt and we need each other. And I needed to feel someone to hold me. I needed to feel someone hug me. If that's okay to say,
that's what I needed. And I cuddled with Chelsea this morning, my wife of 18 years because just I think about grandpa. So yeah, it's easy to
be strong on the stage and tell everybody like, yeah, man. Like everything is gonna work
out, but a lot of it isn't. And so we're gonna need
each other in those days to, like I don't know. Like I was gonna be a co-host and now I'm never gonna get invited back because I'm like breaking down. It's like, bro, you can't co-host the show if you're emotionally unstable. But it's a real thing, but I wouldn't have any other way, man. The pain is part of being alive. We're not living a Disney
cartoon, we're living real life, and the pain we feel,
it makes us more human. It makes us more alive. And I held my wife tighter this morning. I just did, man. I just did. Because I realized we're not
always going to be together the way we are right now. - Dude, that's incredible. So let's talk about your wife. You guys seem to have a
pretty incredible marriage. One filled with honesty. You guys seem like you're
honest with each other. You're certainly honest with the public. I've seen you guys talk about,
hey, every marriage is hard and so how do you guys deal with that? I've heard you talked about love languages and things like that. What are some of you guys, the
secrets to a strong marriage? - I have to give Chelsea
all the credit she deserves. I can already tell just
by meeting your wife you're a great man because I think a spouse
is a dead giveaway. Always a dead giveaway. I truly believe that we
can make each other better, and Chelsea has made me a
better human and a better man. I think developing fun
things to do together. She loves to go on walks. She wants to go on hikes. I hate hikes, so we compromise with walks. So we go and walk together, long talks, but this may sound really spiritual, but one of the most intimate things we do is we pray together. We pray together. And whatever you believe about
prayer, we pray together. And to hear her express to God
what's going on in her heart is so intimate, and by
the way, side note, sexy. Many prayer times lead to other times, which is my favorite. Are we gonna pray together? Sure. Like weird things pastors admit. That's so gross, but it's so true. You're like, what pastors like? Like yeah, prayer times lead to sex. Pretty awesome. I'm like that guy. But yeah, we do that. And you know what, we've
set rules of engagement. Not allowed to use the word divorce. You can't use it. It's a cheap shot, you can't do it. You can't say you always, you never. Can't use the word hate. You can't cuss with each other. We broke that rule a few
times, but rules of engagement. Things you can't do. I can't take shots at her
for things she can't change and can't control, and that
has helped us fight good. You gotta fight good. You gotta fight good,
and making up is awesome, but you gotta learn how to fight right. 'Cause I think you actually
need a good fight now again and you need to argue, and you need that conflict
to bring intimacy. So I don't move so far from
like perfect and awesome, we're gonna keep growing,
but Chelsea is really good at making sure we fight right. And so our fights
actually seem productive. We definitely got into it. We're going through TSA
yesterday on our way to LA because she's talking about
hoodies we made for this event for young people. We made 12. We wanted to be exclusive. And she's like, that is weird. Why did we do that? I'm like, babe, just stop. Let other people see. What did you say, you tell me to stop? I'm like, stay in your lane. I said stay in your lane. Who says that? Like she's like, did you
tell me stay in my lane? And then my son is like, roasted! I'm like, bro, you are
not in this conversation. Go through the metal detector right now. Keep them in there. Search him. But you know what's crazy, is by the time, and I know this sounds so
like we really mastered this, but by the time we got to
the end of the TSA line and we're picking up our bags
and putting our shoes back on, she's like, I'm so sorry. Will you forgive me? I'm like, yeah, I'm so sorry. I'm just tired. I don't know why I said that. I love you. Let's not do it. She's like, yeah, totally. 10 years ago, we would have
been in all-day thing probably. Like, I'm so annoyed at you. But then like, the older
you get, you're also like I only have so much
energy so I'm not gonna, like I wanna use this
energy not to fight all day. I wanna use it to do other really fun and potentially sexy things. - It's incredible. What do you teach your
kids about communication? - You can't say bored in our family. If you say you're bored, it
only means you're boring. There's no such, we don't believe in. So boring is against our belief system. If you're tired, get rest. Don't walk around and say you're tired. I think tired becomes something we talk ourselves into a lot. I'm tired. I'm so tired. I'm so tired. If you keep saying that,
you're gonna live a tired life. You don't wanna be married to that person. You don't wanna be
friends with that person. You don't wanna be led by that person who's constantly tired. So actually, the people we really admire are not tired people. They're actually energized people who love and have energy to give and value to give. So I'm trying to teach
our kids, hey, we don't, I think words are very formative. I think they're very powerful, and they create the culture
in which you live in. We don't say hate. We are very open and
honest with each other. So at the dinner table two
nights ago, we're very honest. Highs and lows. We talk about highs and lows. We say what needs to be said, not what we think should be said. So those are some kind of the
driving values that we have. We diabolically oppose cutting
people off in sentences. So that is a very big thing. If someone is talking at the dinner table, Grace interrupted Zion, we stop and go, you just interrupted your brother. That devalues him, that's not okay. Zion, you speak, Grace,
you wait your turn. Grace now is being a little cheeky. She's eight, and she's
the cutest little thing in the whole wide world I adore so now she's raising her
hand to make a point. And I'm like, okay, raising your hand while he's still talking
is still interrupting and it's a distraction. So at the top of my head, those are some of the guiding values we have in terms of communication
in words in how we engage. - I actually heard you say a quote. I'll at least paraphrase, but I think I'm gonna get
pretty close where you said, I don't want to live what I preach, I wanna preach what I live. What do you mean by that? - That's my dad. A quote from my dad. If you're not living it, don't
shout it from the rooftop 'cause here's, I'll pick on preachers. Preachers are classic for this. There is a discrepancy that begins to form and it happens very subtly,
and then it happens surely, and then ultimately, publicly and clearly. You start to say stuff you don't do. You start to tell people
to do stuff you don't do. And suddenly, you slip
into self-deception. And now, what preachers tell themselves, if I preach it, it's as good as doing it because if I'm helping
somebody else do it, I don't need to do it
because I help them do it, and who's losing? You. The preacher. And I don't wanna become that guy. I also think what resonates with people is when they can tell,
there's what I like to call wind behind your words, and the only thing that gives
you wind is the life you live. So if you're living this thing
and you get up and go, hey, let's actually learn about each other, care about one another,
listen to one another. If I don't care, if I'm not a learner, if I'm not listening, it's rhetoric. It's cliche. It's elevator music. It's white noise. We've heard that. It's pretense. But just yeah, just sharing with people what's really changed your life and what you're really living out, and your words will have a lot more power. - And so I believe that the
things that people move towards are gonna be their biggest goals. What are some goals you're
trying to move towards? I just can't imagine that
your church has gotten as big and thriving as it is without it having something
really big driving that. - Yeah. I do love targets. I've had a weird relationship with goals so I just change the word. So now my word is target and at somehow, I've got fresh
passion to set more targets. I think the world is
changing very, very fast. I think globalization
is real, it's upon us. I'm no longer from here,
I'm from the world. I'm a part of the world. I see the world. I represent the world. I am the world. Globalization is very fascinating
in relationship to faith, community, and movements and I truly believe that globalization has set us up for global communities. And my passion right now
is I can see in the future that churches and communities will have millions of people
engaging all over the world in different languages, maybe
even utilizing technology. So I'm really passionate. Obviously, social media has
proven that people wanna engage. I think social media and
technology has to lead to tactile. It has to get to tactile. And I think some of the innovators are even speaking to that right now. We need this. We need each other. I need to like hug you
and feel that embrace so I'm passionate because it really aligns with my passion in life which
is to help people feel loved. Everyone does not have to
believe what I believe, but I want everyone to
feel like they matter, they have purpose, they
have someone who loves them, will listen to them, care for them and I actually think we can
do that on a grand scale. And I imagine communities
that can also do that. Before you know it, we could have a lot less
lonely people in the world and that would be pretty awesome. - That's pretty incredible, man. How do you get to know Bieber? - I would say he was eight, nine years old and I spoke at a convention
in Toronto where he lived. And Pattie, his mom, brought him. He wasn't supposed to,
it's for young people and they heard me speak there. Pattie goes out to the
tape desk, the tape table, and buys tapes, that's how old I am, and would play the tapes every
night to put Justin to bed. So the first time we met, he goes, do you remember when we first met? And I go, no, I don't. I want to, but it was like
just a bunch of young people. And he's like, well, guess what, you put me to sleep every night. And I'm like, dude, that's not really what our preacher wants to hear. Like for real, it's not, but I just wanna say
Justin has changed my life. I have learned more from that young man than he will ever learn
from me in 10 lifetimes. His exposure to the
world, his experiences, his spiritual journey has, I mean this, dramatically changed me. I do not believe I would see the world or even talk the way I talk without him. He is my brother. I honor him. I respect him. I look up to him. I love him. And he is a genius,
and not just musically, so I'm honored to be his brother. - That's really interesting. And seeing how many people
in that sphere of celebrity have been drawn to you, it's
really, really interesting. What is it that you think,
'cause they're obviously, they're different slings
and arrows coming their way, what is it that draws them to you and your message specifically? - I think everybody deserves
a fair shake to grow in life and to be loved. And I think, and a lot of
people will disagree with this, I actually think people in the limelight don't get a fair shake most of the time. They are not treated in a way that would give them a fair shake. I'll give you an example. People will complain sometimes
like, wow, all the celebs get to sit on the front row. Wow, all the celebs get
a side VIP entrance. Absolutely. And do you know why? Because they deserve a
fair shake to be in a room to feel safe and to feel like
actually, oh, that's right, everybody else in the room already feels. No one walked into the
theater last night going, oh, man, I hope no one wants a photo. I hope no one wants to picture. I hope no one wants, right? Most people got to walk
in just like a human. So my passion is to provide
environments where my brothers, my friends, my sisters and
brothers that I love a lot get a fair shake to
actually experience that and get to be one of the guys. One of the guys. And so maybe that's a reason I don't know, but it's we get blasted for it, but I will not stop doing
that because we're doing it for a purpose that people
don't initially see. It's to actually ensure
that everyone in the room, no matter who you are, gets a fair shake. If you need signing because
you're hard of hearing and that's a challenge, we're gonna get a signer to help you. If you're in a wheelchair,
we're gonna get you. If you speak a different language, we're gonna try to find a translator. We want everyone in the
room to get a fair shake at hearing about the fact they're loved and that they belong here. - Oh, that's cool. I love that answer. So before I ask my last question, where can these guys find you online? - Well, Churchome 1H is
kind of our new name. We wanna be a home for humanity
where there's a family. Where there's a home is a
family is kind of our thing, so Churchome1h.org. And I think you can kinda
find information there. And my email is Judah@churchome.org. That's my real email, so you can email me. Or if I think it's a nice thing, you can email me,
Judah@churchome.org, and that's us. - Awesome. And my last question, what's the impact that you wanna have in the world? - I actually think we're
suffering from a lack of love on a grand scale, on an epic scale. It might be the greatest
epidemic in the world. Maybe it always has been. I think things, horrific
things like racism are symptomatic of the fact. We don't feel loved. We don't feel like we matter. We don't feel like we're valued and so we devalue each other,
and we fight, and we war. My passion is to love people
and to express that love that I believe ultimately comes from God. So that's my passion in life. - Awesome, man. Thank you so much for getting on the show. Incredible. (audience applauding) Guys, you know me. I'm not a religious dude. I did not bring him on here with agenda. I brought him on because my Jewish friend took me out to see a Christian pastor and said you've gotta see this guy. I don't know what it is about him, but every time I see
him, I just feel better. I went and saw it for myself, and the eclectic people
that he puts together is breathtaking in its
simplicity, in its beauty, and the way that he makes
everybody feel included. The insights, the deep wisdom,
the ability to read people, and the fact that he has
practiced an art so much that he can become a true
orchestrator of emotions to create such an unbelievable experience to feel more human, to feel more alive, it was absolutely breathtaking. It really was one of the
most incredible live events I've ever witnessed in my life. It was really, really special and that's why I wanted
to bring him on here so that you guys can get a taste of it. I'm telling you, it does
not matter what you believe. Somebody that wants to
make your life better that wants to make you feel loved, like that is all good in my book and that is something
that he does in spades. So I hope that you guys
will dive into his world regardless of what you believe. Take what makes sense, discard the rest, and I think you're gonna find that you take a whole hell of a lot. All right, if you guys haven't already, be sure to subscribe and until next time, my friends. Be legendary. Take care. (audience applauding) Judah, thank you, my man. Hey everybody, thank
you so much for watching and being a part of this community. If you haven't already,
be sure to subscribe. You're gonna get weekly videos
on building a growth mindset, cultivating grit and
unlocking your full potential.
