How To ATTRACT Your Dream Life | Neuroscientist Dr. Tara Swart Bieber

foreign believe it even though it hasn't happened yet so I don't love the statement fake it till you make it I don't like it either but I will like face it till you make it I like that too I would say um believe it until you are it you know that's kind of what neuroplasticity would say so with with neuroplasticity it's psychological work right but it's actually not it's actually physiological work and so I work with a lot of guys in financial services who you know emotional intelligence is a big thing that we need to work on and I've had you know these people who are very very successful genuinely be so frustrated I don't understand like what am I supposed to do people say I'm not nice to them you know um what what am I actually supposed to do so this is what I say to them imagine you imagine a field of grass and on day one you walk through the field and the grass is high and you know you're sort of flattening as you walk and then you walk there every day until you've trodden a little path into the grass and then you keep walking there until it becomes like a muddy path then you might lay some paving stones um and then you build a proper path that's what you're doing in your brain when you change any behavior and I remember when I learned Danish which was super hard yeah um and I you know I've mentioned to you that I prefer to eat healthily but I was literally taking like a can of Coke or like a bag of maltesers to the Danish lessons and it was 90 minutes and by about an hour I would feel so tired and so hungry exhausting exhausting yeah I'm learning Spanish right now and I'm trying to change my language around it being exhausting yeah and being hard yeah because I think the more I say that it's going to continue to reinforce that it's exhausting and challenging so I've been trying the last few months to say you know what this is a fun experience you know this is an experiment it's it's challenging but it's a good challenge and I'm learning every time it's hard for me and it's trying to add a positive reinforcement as opposed to is hard because I ha it's it has been challenging up until now yeah to learn Spanish fluently and I also think I have this huge expectation like I'm going to be able to speak like a native uh you know Mexican speaker but um and I think sometimes we forget how far we've come you know yeah acknowledging that is so important yeah can I give you a bit of inspiration give it to me so I did eight weeks weeks of lessons I then went to Denmark for some holidays and I came back and had a lesson and at some point she said okay great you know see we're done for now see you next week and I was like was that 90 minutes and so basically the 90 minutes have got I hadn't got hungry I hadn't got tired I'd got through the lesson and I realized I've gone past that Tipping Point of neuroplasticity you're at the point where you're digging for gold and you'd like to give up and you just have to get past that point I feel like I've been there for like a year but you know if you think about I'm genuinely sure this will help you going forward and please let me know if it does if you think about it like building that pathway building that brick wall like that then you sort of acknowledging that it's physical work sometimes takes away that frustration that you think you should just be getting it and you're not because I don't think you would blame yourself in the same way if it was like a sport no exactly right but it's like a physical workout yeah why is it seem like a physical workout when you're just thinking something and speaking and listen because it is physical work you're you're building a pathway in your brain you're not just thinking thinking doesn't happen without neuronal connections so you're You Know You're Building sign up you're connecting neurons through synapses your myelinating Pathways you know all their stuff um and what does that do to the body when you're doing that to the brain it's the same as doing a workout using up glucose yeah which makes you hungry or tired or whatever it might be and frustrated at points as well you know because because once you've made enough synapses and connections and maybe myelinated the pathway so there's three physiological aspects to neuroplasticity myelination is literally just making a pathway a faster faster pathway so for example we have myelinated Pathways to snatch our hand out of fire but we have non-myelinated Pathways for pain because if you immediately you know felt the pain you wouldn't be able to remove yourself from the danger and the most com what you're doing in your brain now with Spanish is you're connecting up neurons that already exist through synapses so you're making a new pathway for Spanish um judging by how hard you're finding it it's possible that you are in the memory centers of your brain actually inducing neurogenesis which is embryonic cells becoming fully formed neurons and then connecting up through synapses with established neurons and then maybe getting myelinated okay um what does that mean it's that's really hard work so in the adult brain so you know children can learn like five languages at the same time you know from a young age um and if you do have kids and you want to bring them up I want to definitely do that for sure yeah yeah so you have to have a different parent speaking a different language or a different you know a grandparent too interesting nanny or whatever so that they understand Daddy's English mummy Spanish interesting um so otherwise they muddle up the words and that can be that's interesting so yeah so kids can do that easily because they've got lots of embryonic neurons that you know in the first two years of life it's amazing they go from being completely helpless to walking talking um for us it's harder but it's possible right and neurogenesis which is literally embryonic cells becoming neurons may not be happening that much in the adult brain but the synaptic connection is happening a lot what's interesting I've never felt like I've had a good memory when it comes to books like things I'm really in school I think it's because school was so challenging and I always the belief was I was tested poorly and so it just reaffirmed that I wasn't good at it right um based on the way that that school was created for for us but in sports I could remember really well right so I could remember other things or if I'd meet someone and they told me some weird thing about them like I would remember this right and I could remember 10 years later something like that so when it was more physical and active I felt like I had an incredible muscle memory right and I felt like I had incredible wisdom but I didn't feel like I was smart I feel like I understood people but I couldn't remember something I read in a in a page two seconds ago yeah like I'd have to repeat reading something over and over again to be like what just happened what did I just read I couldn't comprehend words but I could connect with people and emotions and you know movement and things like that so I'm trying to figure out what's that way to learn Spanish through that way or anything new because I think one of the greatest Parts about life especially uh you know after childhood is like creating new adventures and not staying stuck in the same routine but having new experiences new adventures and learning new things I love that you like to learn something new every year I think that's a secret to keeping you young and Youthful and looking 31 you know thank you um so two things I'd like to raise about that one is that you've obviously done the work and become very successful but there are a lot of people who would be stuck in that I'm not smart and I was stuck in I'm not creative till I was 35 starting to give the numbers Away lyrics like two years ago so I was told at high school because I wasn't good at art that I wasn't creative and I completely believed that I wasn't creative I didn't think I could do anything but be a doctor for the rest of my life and through a series of events um you know which even probably I am not aware of the complexity of I woke up one morning and I thought I never chose to be a doctor my parents told me to be a doctor yeah I was told at school I was smart I was so smart that I didn't just do an MD I did a PhD as well and I said to myself that morning if I'm so effing smart what do I actually want to do with my life yeah um and so you know that was the start of my life and and in within a short period of that I realized I'm creative I you know I might not be able to do a good painting although I actually can now um so the belief you know also changed me I started doing more art and stuff as well but you know I created a business I created a new life I created a home I when I do my cooking I'm creative um I've even you know I mean there was a time that I looked in the mirror I had this narrative I'm not a writer I'm not an author because my PhD was so traumatic writing it was like really what the worst like thing in my life um and I looked in the mirror and I was like Tara you've got a best-selling award-winning book that's translated into 38 languages you are a writer I know it's crazy right um so so there's that whole narrative that even you and I have got things in our head which like I'm not smart I'm not creative so you know think about people that haven't had the opportunities that we've had or who don't know about neuroplasticity that's that's why it's you know my passion and my heart because I just believe that that's such a key to unlocking things for so many people yeah um and I think I have forgotten that the other thing I was going to say I said two things right so one was The Narrative about not believing that you were smart I think the other one you know was this sort of understanding neuroplasticity to to become things that you maybe think you are sure when I manifest something I move it to a separate section called manifested so that I'm actually seeing but you know I'm checking these things off because that makes me more likely to believe that I can tick up the bigger things that might take longer oh that's cool yeah so it's basically just reinforcing to your brain that good things happen that you can achieve the things that you wanted

Channel: Greatness Clips - Lewis Howes

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Id: 2bHl2ZJX-OI

Length: 10min 59sec (659 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 14 2022