How To 100% Orange Juice

greetings Travelers have you ever consumed a juice before I used to drink apple juice every morning with my breakfast when I was a small growing chair back in 1852 it helped with digestion and promoted good teeth brushing and flossing habits one day after my daily intake of highly concentrated sugar a change occurred in my cognition a shift of taste preference where in an instant the sacred nectar that I used to Supple upon tasted like nothing but disappointment the closest thing I will have to understanding what it feels like to be my parents and also why I now drink coffee juice making is a sacred craft passed down the generations there are at least as many varieties of juice as there are fruits in the universe but the most worship breakfast drink of all is of course 100 orange juice [Music] it's more socially acceptable to admit spending tens of thousands of dollars on a gachapon mobile game than saying that you played more than two minutes of a hundred percent orange juice ironic but also not because this game is the purest form of gachapon for real elitist Gatekeepers in Juice you cannot spend actual currency for in-game money and then gamble on getting better cards for the deck building aspect of the game instead you have to spend the most valuable resource of them all toxicity thus this game doesn't turn players into whales but rather into imperceivable Eldritch beings that no longer know what it means to experience life given that the ganchipan model is designed to entice players into gambling away their life savings having no Financial incentive attached to the mechanic seems meaningless but that is where you are wrong it incentivizes the worst thing known to mankind actually playing the game so like a model citizen I am here to make you download the game immediately when it's on sale and join the occult so that you too can be almost as mentally misshapen as I am 100 orange juice is 100 [ __ ] the winner of each round is predetermined and everything that happens in between is just the filler Arc isn't that what people say about Mario party it is and anyone who says that has never played a game of juice before Mario Party is a game designed to be easily processed by the minds of infants it wishes it could be in the same conversation as the [ __ ] of a hundred percent orange juice imagine if you will be in a subatomic particle and trying to defy the will of the universe that's what it's like to play a game of juice this experience helps to restore Faith because the only way to shift things in your favor is an actual Act of divine intervention a literal Act of God to have any chance of success the Mario Party comparison also falls short because there are no mini games to be played after every round unless you got the random fish of fish event and I [ __ ] love wasting time on this yet under the veil of random events and extreme chaos lies a system of unadulterated strategy that convinces you your decisions matter it is a pure board game card game experience if you are ready to struggle against Destiny like a true jrpg protagonist then I estimate that you might have about 10 percent of the willpower needed to become a juicer all the strategy is pointless though because the real reason why anyone is here is because of the distilled cuteness in every single Pixel on the screen look at these pngs that jiggle like gelatin and have an anime cat girl with big titties all the artwork is adorable and fills you with the same simple joy of looking at kittens I'm projecting but if you don't like looking at cute kitten pictures I don't like you the best way to think of the character designs in this game are adorable little hell spawns that torture you for a thousand years in one second no wonder this game is perfect for me to get yourself ready to start juicing we must start before launching the game itself I begin by adding two ounces of a nice dry gin to my mixing glass followed by an ounce of a cheap dry vermouth see how dry this liquid is I usually stir for about 45 seconds to dilute it down some more because that's how I like it I prepped this nice cool martini glass ahead of time and I'm just gonna go ahead and pour this bad boy in there and finish it off with a simple lemon twist just remember that this type of glass is designed to be set down and not continuously held because your hand will warm up the martini with that I now have my drink ready to go now make sure to set the game speed to ludicrous because anything slower doesn't satisfy my dopamine addicted brain but first you're gonna have to learn some terminology I know everyone loves expanding their vocabulary and using a thesaurus to sound agile first this is called a die this is a six-sided die meaning it can roll one of six possibilities conveniently it can roll numbers one through six You Now understand the core mechanism to interact with everything in a hundred percent orange juice that's enough for you to boot up the game and ignore single player because it's not real and get yourself into a match alright it's time for the real Basics the goal of juice is to reach Norma 6 you start at normal one to increase your Norma you perform a Norma check every time that you land on a home if you have enough stars or wins depending on your previous selection you then level up completing a Norma check and leveling it up will then play your character's theme song Until somebody else completes their Norma check of which all the theme songs are royalty free and way better than anyone would expect this means that you can mindlessly add them to the background of your YouTube videos without considering how it affects your delicately crafted and highly maintained monotonous mediocre tone my favorite song is Shari's why is it called Norma why are you asking questions ignoring exceptions everyone starts by needing 10 stars to hit Norma too in case it's not obvious the level up procedure does not make you cash anything in it merely checks to see if you have the required condition landing on a home will also always heal you for one HP there are four homes on the map one for each player and while they all behave the same your own home is special because you don't have to roll the exact amount of move it to land on it you can always choose to stop by home when you pass by thanks Mom and Dad this does mean that winning the game involves you landing on a home tile in order to hit your last Norma check it also means that usually someone wins the game by Rolling the exact value that they need to land on an opponent's home rather than the slow and arduous Journey that you took to try to get back to your own home remember it's all predetermined but how do you get stars or wins all players get Stars at the start of every chapter right before player one's turn by landing on yellow bonus tiles or by defeating enemies basic lame enemies can be fought by landing on red tiles and defeating them gives you some stars but also a win these are cute stupid battles until a seagull casually rolls a 7 attack value to remind you of your ever-present mortality however you can also attack players defeating them gives you two wins and half of their Stars even though people can steal your star cars through battle nobody can take your victories away from you trying to complete a Norma check through wins if you don't already have them secured is generally quite risky especially since when someone reaches Norma 4 basic enemy tiles are then replaced with a boss monster that is very annoying to kill and will most likely Farm a bunch of stars from players who are unskilled enough to roll on the tile how does juice-based PVP work when passing another player you can choose to engage in combat if you played dokapon Kingdom in the past I'm sorry that you have no friends but as a benefit it will not help you understand juice combat whatsoever there is no decision making as an attacker and the Challenger will always go first unless they are Sherry as a Defender though you will have to decide to either defend which will reduce the damage by their attack roll minus your defense role taking a minimum of one damage or you can try to evade where if you roll strictly greater than their attack value you take zero damage however if you fail to evade you will take all damage fully unmitigated and probably go straight to timeout a standard battle consists of one attack and one defense decision for each player this might seem like it's relatively straightforward until you consider the fact that there are over 60 characters with different modifiers to their dice rolls for all types of combat stats as well as different maximum HP Recovery thresholds and battle cards that can be added into the mix as well just remember that even with a negative modifier you cannot roll less than one with that you now understand the basic principles of combat the only things you should drill into your brain as a new player is that if your opponent rolls one attack you should almost always try to evade and if you have one HP left you should also only evade because defending at one HP is guaranteed to send you straight to the seat in the corner for 15 minutes the only last thing to explain about challenging another player is that you will stop all movement and land on the tile that they are currently standing on this is why it would be helpful if someone explained what all the different tiles do oh well I believe processing all that information is going to be rather difficult because of the insane game speed but I assure you that this is enough to still be woefully confused because green tiles let you draw cards because of course everyone chooses 10 cards to put into the community deck at the beginning of the game and all 40 of those cards plus eight blank hyper cards that turn into your character's specific hyper when drawn all get shuffled together every round of juice consists of many potentially different characters different cards different Maps different random events but playing more allows you to buy card packs to put better cards in the community deck for better experiences meaning that this isn't the party game it's actually a roguelike characters can hold up the three cards at a time to play a card you must be at least the required normal level to play it and also pay the associated star cost as common for new players to forget the star cost and accidentally spend too many stars so they miss their next Norma check you can also typically only play one card while on the map in one one card in battle the best cards to choose from depend on your character and the other characters that you're playing against the map that you're on in the general strategy but that's for when you're more experienced and realize that Dash is still a good card in most circumstances and many of the base game cards like pudding are still strong even with all the other dumb [ __ ] in this game my favorite card is banana some characters like QP dangerous require cards with putting a name to even function so ignore all the white noise and focus on the simple things in life what looks cute does the card look adorable put it in your deck do you like the way a character looks played them because remember the winner is predetermined anyways speaking of character selection there are several play styles to choose from Star collecting durdling bullying and some characters are even built around having the most potentially game breaking hypers in existence an attempt to win the whole game by all Inning on a single game-winning play other characters just have raw stat line is that they use to their advantage and others still have passive abilities that require becoming a lawyer to fully understand the ins and outs of with the insane amount of DLC characters you figure that some characters are pay to win which is only half true because Mark is one of the base game characters and has been one of the best since Juice released in 1945. hilariously most of the base game characters that aren't named Pete are surprisingly good and still have some of the strongest hyper effects in the entire game Kai literally has protagonist privilege that allows him to attack people who cannot retaliate so there's that and the fact that most the DLC characters that were overtuned on release have been nerfed several times over it would be impossible for me to go over every single character in this video and give you deep insight to the unique play Styles and strategies instead here is the cliff notes version because I assure you if you find the gameplay shallow the lore is anything but QP is the cute dog girl with the normal stats in the game in spite of this hyper mode is still one of the strongest hypers allowing you to cheaply boost your attack and have absolutely zero consequences if you throw away your life in battle forcing opponents to leverage all the risk with absolutely no reward this is similar to altai who wants to self-destruct by losing in combat good for the players who want to be the default character Mira is a female weapon's brain that is put into an originally male body who refers to themselves as we they are the ultimate ninja that can teleport around the map for highly intricate movement setups Arthur is the big tough bunny boy who sets up toy shops to extort sell cards to other players many is a sweet girl who slowly gets more Angry as she takes damage until you can finally Unleash Your Inner gamer rage at one player in particular and proceed to destroy every other living creature on the map instead having problems getting your super card just draw better natsumi holds a big sharp knife very carefully because she is a chef not to be confused with cook that gets bonus to stars for healing players this is different from cutico who can't heal herself at all and whose surgical procedure destroys everyone on the map who only has one HP left Heime Moonlight is for players who finally accept that there is no such thing as free will and let casual to Momo gets beat up all game until she finally eats her ice cream and casually becomes as one of the most powerful units in the game tomato turns into mimiu after being put in timeout and while they are both completely different characters mimio puts bombs into the draw pile to make card drawing particularly scary if the deck is starting to run low fernet is a tank that refuses to take damage but can summon a battalion of airships to Reign Hellfire on the entire map while doing a typical ojosama laugh this is of course different from her Noble version where you have to pay stars for the privilege of not doing damage to her saki is the cute girl in a raincoat who puts an unmarked landmine on the ground that obliterates all nearby Targets when somebody lands on him there is also so bunny Santa Claus merry Christmas and happy holidays everyone old man with cane my ghost writer and QA tester it will be 46 billion years before you can face me a brick wall good boy May Angel hand Devil Hand and Sora and Sora The Meta version this does make sense as Sora was forced to tirelessly fight in an endless war only because she displayed natural Talent after witnessing many Horrors and atrocities she then teamed up with Sham to form an idol group and spread joy around the world instead their special ability puts on an Idol concert in the middle of a match forcing everyone nearby to immediately empty their pockets for meaningless merchandise this fake in-game Idol group is not to be confused with the real Idols that voice specific characters why is the music getting so loud but my personal favorite character is Kaye not because she's good she's actually kind of bad because I wish I could be this happy all the time just rolling Dice and setting the world on fire [Music] [Music] and because I need to justify the painful amount of hours sunk into playing the fishing event to get this outfit and finally bullying Marie popo is considered to be a civic duty among juicers there are many more characters but that is all besides the point is this game good it's orange juice the only last tidbit I will offer you as I fade away is that while choosing a map setting the events to random is good and standard Behavior but I would recommend disabling home roulette backtracking and random warp because having all three of those at the same time will cause your game to last for about one and a half hours with all of this that's everything you need to know to get into some basic matches and ignore all of the alternative game modes congratulations on now being just as confused as everybody else who's currently playing the game juice is a game of pure flavor and absolute silliness that is based around characters that exhibit nothing but raw personality a game made by people who study the Janine Eva convention just to desecrate it proving yet again that cute characters is all it takes to make a video game even if a card or a character is stupid you can't help but feel the passion of the developers who put this project together and curse them for causing you to roll only one for the entire God damn match so play the game today and begin to suffer and somehow sink over a hundred hours into it in the span of five then buy all the DLC and all the additional games needed to get the bonus characters and wonder why you can no longer afford to heat your home the beauty of a hundred percent orange juice lies a hundred percent in its brutality its benevolence comes from treating everyone like [ __ ] bringing everyone closer together through mutual suffering and then Marie popo will steal your stars and win the [ __ ] game in one turn remember there's only one winner and three losers in every round so you have higher odds of making friends with each defeat now let's get out there and listen to the acceleration of siguri soundtrack as well foreign [Music]

Channel: Misshapen Chair

Views: 59,808

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Id: kKFro8ntD9c

Length: 18min 18sec (1098 seconds)

Published: Sat Nov 05 2022