(dramatic music) - Hey there, hello, it's me Cody and I will be your news captain. All aboard the News Cruise. Toot toot! Let's head out on this news adventure, set a course for news. Okay, so today, again,
I'm gonna talk to you about the COVID-19 pandemic. Hopefully by now, everyone
knows how serious it is. So I don't wanna spend the whole time getting you lathered up into a panic, which is coincidentally
my new shampoo brand, Cody's Panic Lather, for
when you need to wash away the virus while screaming
endlessly in the shower. (laughs) instead today, I want to talk
to you about two responses that we could have to this pandemic. First, is the response
favored by most doctors, epidemiologists and
other groups with a bias towards keeping people alive. Then I'll talk about another response. The one favored by Trump, rich ghouls, stock market fetishists and other groups with a
bias towards money printed with the blood of the innocence. Do we have a clip. - There's only one thing
better than owning a vault full of cold hard cash
and that's swimming in it. I love to dive around
in it like a porpoise. - Tragically, Scrooge
McDuck contracted COVID after rubbing all that
disgusting, germ-ridden money all over his body. He was also last spotted at CQUACK. You get it, it's like CPAC for ducks. And at CPAC you see, a
bunch of rich Republicans got exposed to COVID. Which is funny, because they
don't seem to be taking this very seriously at all. Like when Rand Paul, literally
went to the Senate's gym and swam in the pool while
awaiting his COVID test results, which were positive, risking the health of every other senator. Which is kind of a metaphor
for how they don't care about how their actions are
going to get a bunch of us regular Americans killed,
and that's not funny, sorry, it's not. I kinda ducked this up, huh? Eh, ducked? Ah-woo-hoo. Anyway, moving on. First, let's look at the
keep as many people alive as possible response. One of the worst things we could assume is that the situation
is hopeless, it's not. In fact, if we take measures now to reduce the amount of infections, we can save a huge number of lives. The Center for Infectious
Disease Research and Policy reports that an epidemiological
model found that if nothing is done, we
could be looking at 81% of the U.S. population
getting the disease, with over two million deaths. Now this is the worst case scenario, where we all sit on our
thumbs and do nothing. Actually, if we all just
sort of sat on our thumbs at home and did nothing it
would help tremendously. But what I mean is, if
we don't make any effort to control the spread of the virus, no social distancing, no shelter in place, no increase in protective gear and so on. Here's the good news, right now, 27 states have issued
shelter in place orders to slow the spread of the virus according to CovidActNow.org. What this means is that in these states, the rate of transmission
will be drastically lowered. Let's look at California for example. No reason, not because I live here, and I'm personally
freaking out or anything, there's no other reason. Here's what the difference looks like between business as usual
and the best case scenario of shutting down businesses,
working from home and shelter in place. That big red boner of death is the number of hospitalizations if we had done limited action. The black line represents
hospital capacity. As you can see, we would be
royally, epically turbo (beeps) if we had stuck our heads in the sand and pretended like nothing was wrong. But we didn't. You see that tiny slither of a green line, below the hospital capacity line, that's the best case
scenario of three months of shelter in place. Meaning we actually successfully
keep people at home, out of crowds, allow
people to work from home and shut down non-essential businesses. Even in the worst possible
projected scenario with shelter in place, assuming everything that
could go wrong does go wrong, the hospitalization rate
is still far far lower than if we don't shelter in place. We're not helpless, we can actually smash that horrible graph boner down. And that represents hundreds
of thousands of people being saved from hospitalization. And hundreds of thousands more people surviving in California alone. (dramatic music) Anyway, I know that shelter in place is a lot harder than it sounds, especially for three months. And I know for a lot of people
who work in essential jobs, they don't have the option
of working from home, that makes it even more
important for those of us who can social distance,
to take it seriously. To wash our hands, to
try to keep ourselves and our neighbors safe. And I also know, this is gonna
be a really difficult time financially, for a lot of
people who've been laid off. And I could go on a rant for oh, how, would you look at forever, about how we shouldn't make
people jump through hoops just to get unemployment insurance, and give people more than 1200 big ones to help them survive. And I think it's totally
fair to be concerned about your livelihood during this time. But surely, we can both take care of people's financial needs
while still not forcing people to go back to work before
it's safe to do so, right? I mean, we're the richest,
swolest, most big balled and massive ovaried country
in the (beeps) damn universe. We have enough firepower
to blow up the sun, we can afford to cover
workers for a few months to keep millions from dying, right? Yeah, yeah? - Ultimately the goal is
to ease the guidelines and open things up to very
large sections of our country as we near the end of our historic battle with the invisible enemy. Been going for a while,
but we'll win, we'll win. I said earlier today that I
hope we can do this by Easter, I think that would be a
great thing for our country, and we're all working very
hard to make that a reality. - Ooh right, the ghouls, I
forgot about the ghouls, and Dre. Anyway, Trump has been pushing for people to get back to work by Easter, because quote, "I just thought
it was a beautiful timeline." Which, I feel like maybe our timeline should be based on what
researchers are saying about what will actually save lives, and not what feels beautiful. But, I'm just some guy
who listens to doctors. But it's not just Trump touting this idea of sending people back to work
in just a couple of weeks, which again, is just a bit
shy of the three months we see in epidemiological models
that predict better outcomes. The Federalist also posted an article, claiming we should do
controlled voluntary infection. You know, like a controlled burned. Except instead of burning
brush, we're killing people. The Spectator USA ran an article titled, Herd immunity might still be crucial in the fight against coronavirus. With the curious subheader, if there was way to safely
grant two-thirds of a society COVID-19 immunity, the
pandemic would stop. And I agree, a thing
would work if that thing magically fixed the problem. Spoilers, there's no way to safely infect two-thirds of the
population with a disease with the mortality rate of at least 1%. You see, what herd
immunity actually means is, over two million dead, because again, if we let the infection run its course with little to no intervention, we could be looking at
anywhere from 70 to 80% of Americans infected, and even with an optimistic
death rate of only about 1%, which would be higher when
hospitals get overwhelmed. That means over two million will die, if we just allow for herd
immunity to happen to us. It's weird that a term
that typically refers to a group of animals that
are often led to slaughter feels so ominous, huh? Hmm. But hey, million of people dead is that so large a price
to pay for the economy. I mean... Don't worry economy, okay,
I'm willing to let millions of people die for you. In fact, I'd die for you!. - And you know, Tucker,
no one reached out to me, and said, as a senior citizen, are you willing to take
a chance on your survival in exchange for keeping the
America that all America loves for your children and grandchildren? And if that's the exchange I'm all-in. - I would die for you
economy, take my mortal flesh and absorb it into your sexy equations. You see, saving millions
of lives has a cost, money. And some of our brave leaders think, that is too steep a price to pay. - And again, the cure, it's
like, this cure is worse than the problem. Again, people, many people in my opinion, more people are going to die
if we allow this to continue, we have to go back to work, our people wanna go back to work. - Look, they're just concerned
about the real people here, businesses. Americans for Prosperity, that Charles Koch founded think tank, wants to get people back to work ASAP, no matter what those dumb
medical researchers say. Rather than blanket shutdowns,
the government should allow businesses to continue
to adapt and innovate, to produce the goods and
services Americans need, while continuing to do everything they can to protect the public health. Said the Chief Executive
of AFP, Emily Seidel. You see, they really really
care about public health. So much so, that in 2018, they lobbied the Trump Administration to give the CDC an extra one
billion dollars in funding to protect the public health. Oh, wait, no, I'm sorry,
what I meant to say is, they lobbied the Trump Administration to take away one billion
dollars in funding from the CDC. Because as we know, underfunding
the CDC turned out... Great. But look, they have a point, all right? People need money to live,
and if they can't work, they can't get a paycheck. I mean we can't just print
out trillions of dollars to help provide for
people for a few months while we shelter from a
deadly virus, that would be... Wait, we can print out
trillions of dollars, which we just did by buying
bonds in the private market which injects money into
the capital markets, which businesses can borrow from. Oh, and hey, we just gave
businesses 500 billion dollars, an extra, hey, here you go champ, buy yourself something nice money. Because they asked for it. So, could we give workers money to live for the next few months? Yes. Would it potentially
stall the economy a bit? Maybe. Would it save millions
of people from dying? According to doctors, yes. But is it worth it? I mean, millions of lives, some
changes to the economy. Millions of lives, some
changes to the economy. Hmm. - I'm in the danger zone, I would rather have my children stay home
and all of us who are over 50, go in and keep this
economy going, and working, even if we all get sick, I'd rather die than kill the country. - Well, the rich and powerful
are very bravely saying, they're willing to sacrifice
human lives to save our economy and by our economy of course I mean, their stocks and businesses. And by save the economy, I
mean, maybe temporarily spare stock markets with an uncertain outlook on the future of the economy, given that it'll probably be impacted by millions being sick or dead. But hey, choosing to
sacrifice your own life for the economy is very noble. I'm sure these wealthy people promoting this great sacrifice would be the first ones to offer up their own hospital beds, right? The first ones to take
over a nurse's shift at the hospital, right? Just gonna pretend to look at these notes. See, they're asking the tough
selfless questions like, can we use our money
to get a vaccine early? Wow! What! What! That doesn't sound like they're willing to put their lives on
the line for the economy. It's... It's almost as if they want everyone else to risk their lives to
keep their stocks up, while hoarding life saving
resources for themselves. That is a... That is a twist! In this exceedingly normal article titled, Can We Get a Vaccine Early? How the Rich Are
Preparing for Coronavirus. The wealthy discuss how
they are planning to use their stacks of cash to
construct money fortresses full of medicine and use any extra money to stuff in their ears,
so they don't have to hear the coughing of sick people outside. One veteran hedge fund
investor said, quote, "I don't feel concerned at the moment, "it's not near me right now. "If people in the
village have coronavirus, "I'd get out of here." His plan? He'll fly to his private cabin in Idaho, and seal himself off. Well, his family could
join him if they so choose. That becomes a personal
choice of theirs, he says. Mitchell Moss, Professor of
Urban Policy and Planning at NYU notes that this whole deadly epidemic is going to be devastating to
the marriages of the elites. Moss commented, "This is
going to destroy the marriages "of the rich, all these
husbands and wives who travel "will now have to spend time "with the person they're married to." Yeah, I hope all those
sick people laughing it up, while not coughing, who
are having a grand old time in our overflowing hospitals,
pause to check their privilege and to feel sorry for these rich people, whose marriages are now in jeopardy due to spending quality time together. While some wealthy people are
taking advantage of the panic to score cheap flights to
their chateaus in Italy. Others, like Gwyneth
Paltrow are more fearful. Flying en route to Paris in a
designer $99 Urban Air Mask. You see, she explains, she was
already in a pretend movie, "Contagion" where, for pretend, she got infected by a disease, so she definitely knows what it's like to go through an epidemic, pretendingly. - [Doctor] Let's get some help. - Beth, Beth. - [Doctor] Let's get a liner. - I wonder why she doesn't just drink some of her $60 detox juice from her $80 rose quartz
crystal-infused water bottle that she offers for sale
on her Goop website, huh? You'd think she'd have
faith in her own products to keep her healthy, you know? As a totally honest and very well-informed health (beeps) guru. (beeps) weird. Look guys, the super
rich are just like us, they have to worry about the epidemic too. That's why, they're
chartering private jets to flee the country. Getting in touch with
their healthcare providers. And selling stores out of
designer $35 hand sanitizer. It's not all bad though, Southern Jet, a private charter jet company, sent out a marketing email saying, "Avoid coronavirus by flying private. "Request a quote today." See, when life gives you
epidemons, make epidemicade. Now, if you're surprised by the panicked, Hunger Games villain
response of the wealthy, which let's be honest, you are not. Back in 2018 there was
an article warning us of how the super wealthy
intended to respond to the event. Doug Rushkoff, a lecturer, media theorist and writer on digital culture, wrote an article back in
2018, of his experience being invited to a resort
to deliver a keynotes speech to a bunch of investment bankers about the future of technology. First of all, Rushkoff
was surprised to learn his audience was just
five super wealthy guys. And instead of listening to
the speech he had prepared, they started peppering him with
questions about the future. They warmed him up with
questions about Bitcoin. And then got to their real concern, how to survive after The Event. Now, what is The Event? Well, The Event, according
to these wealthy guys is the dystopia that occurs
after the inevitable crisis. What Rushkoff writes was, their euphemism for the environmental
collapse, social unrest, nuclear explosion, unstoppable
virus, or Mr Robot hack that takes everything down. Now, were these powerful,
reasonable, moderate status quo loving gentleman worrying about how to bring all of
society back to normal? That is saving humans from
total societal collapse. Nah, they're worried about
saving their own skins by creating an army of shock
collar wearing slave goons. Rushkoff writes, they knew
armed guards would be required to protect their compounds
from the angry mobs. But how would they pay the
guards once money was worthless? What would stop the guards
from choosing their own leader? The billionaires considered
using special combination locks on the food supply that only they knew. Or making guards wear
disciplinary collars of some kind in return for their survival. Or maybe building robots to
serve as guards and workers, if that technology could
be developed in time. Yep, that's a... You know, I wish I could
say I was shocked to hear that the super wealthy
want to create an army of starved, enslaved,
or maybe robotic guards to protect them from the
angry mobs of the poor people that they'd screwed over. I wish I was surprised
to hear that the people who fight so hard against things like providing healthcare to all. Working on a green new deal
to save the environment. Or you know, generally
improving the lives of the many, actually do know that
their actions will someday destroy the world. And that their concern is not about guilt they'll feel over killing millions, but how to desperately cling
to their piles of riches even after society collapses. How to continue to suppress the masses, even when their money has
no value, by shock collars or food vaults, or robot armies. I wish I could say I was surprised to hear that these wealthy reasonable moderates, these elites who promise us, they're the rational
solution to our problems are actually just waiting
to become Immortan Joes, hoarding, oppressing and
brutalizing the common people until the bitter end, but I'm not, I'm not surprised. And I'm not surprised
that this article in 2018, has actually become a reality now. With rich people (beeps)
off on their private jets to their chateaus, wearing
their designer face masks. Chillingly, after meeting
with these wealthy ghouls, Rushkoff concluded, quote, "For them, the future of technology "is really about about
just one thing: escape." If you've wondered why the super wealthy seem so ambivalent about
things like Medicare for All, or saving our planet
from climate destruction. Urging us to not be so radical, urging patience and incremental change, while scolding us for not
accepting the status quo. If you're wondering why
they seem so cavalier about the fate of the planet, it's because they have an escape plan. They're standing next to
the only emergency exit in a burning building
that they set on fire, calling for us to calm
down and stop panicking, because all our pained screams
are giving them a migraine. And once they get out that door, they're locking it behind them because the smell of our burning flesh is giving them a tummy ache. Now, maybe I'm biased,
since I kind of don't want to live in a dystopia. But it seems like the real
extremist are not the ones asking for universal healthcare, or for workers to get sick leave, so they don't have to
risk death for money. Or you know, any changes
to our collision course with planetary ruin, but
maybe the real extremists are the people talking about
how to use food as currency, and make soldiers wear shock
collars after The Event. But here's the real kicker, it won't work. Sure, maybe they'll
continue to pump resources out of the planet until
it's a withered husk. Starve people of healthcare,
and work them to literal death. But here's the thing,
you rich (beeps) ghouls. Nature doesn't give a single
(beeps) about your net worth. Yes, your fancy air masks
and access to private doctors and planes and hermetically sealed orbs, will give you a leg up. Maybe you won't die as quickly as the rest of us poor slobs. But eventually, that little
virus is gonna get you. And unlike politicians,
it can't be bought off. And even if you manage
to buy your own private custom paint job respirators, your own private vaccines, if the rest of us get sick,
without our labor and our money how are you going to stay wealthy? How do you eat? How do you live on a shell of a planet? Who are you going to pay
to maintain your orchards and wipe your asses, if
you let us all die off. COVID-19 isn't gonna be
the end of humanity, no. But if you learn nothing from this, what happens when we
have the next pandemic? Or, climate change, or I don't know, the rate we're going, (beeps) aliens. Have you guys seen "Tiger King"? The aliens are already here, you guys. - Hey, Carole, it's a
voice from your past. - And here's the thing, rich people, it turns out, if you build your society on the backs of workers and common people, you actually won't have
that society anymore if they're gone. They're freaking out right
now because it turns out, their wealth means
nothing without the labor and money of regular people. So is their solution a
long term positive change based on science, on
compassion, and on logic to make sure that we setup our population to be safer, more well taken care of, so they can live healthy
lives and survive, and hey, maybe even be happier? Is it to make sure we have sick leave, so sick workers aren't forced to come to work and infect others? Is it to give us universal healthcare, so people receive treatment, so they won't die of preventable disease? Or is it to try to force
people back to work, hoping that they'll be able to squeeze out just a little bit more
labor before they die, even though this would cripple
the economy in the longterm, would kill millions and only
benefits a very short term, short sighted and ultimately
meaningless increase in stocks. - Think about how the world would be if you tried to quarantine everybody because of the generic type flu. Now, I'm not saying this
is the generic type flu, but maybe we'd be just better
off if we gave it to everybody and then in a month it would be over, because the mortality rate of
this probably isn't gonna be any different if we did it that way than the longterm picture. But the difference is we're wreaking havoc on global and domestic economy. - Gah, it's the latter
thing, got you, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool,
cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Okay, before I go, I wanna end
on a sorta of serious note, I know this whole thing's
been one long serious note. But here's the deal, all right? Let's get through this next section, it's gonna be sad and emotional, but afterwards I promise you, I'm gonna put Maggie my dog on video here and she's going to be adorable, okay? We'll get through this next bit together. Alright, I wanna talk
about what we need to learn from this pandemic. And it's illustrated
by a sickening tragedy. In Los Angeles, a 17-year
old kid died very suddenly, days after being healthy. He tested positive for COVID-19, he may have died from
complications of COVID-19. But he was taken off the list
of official coronavirus deaths because there were, according
to health officials, extenuating circumstances that pointed to an alternative diagnosis as well. But here's what we do know, he likely died because he
lacked health insurance. When he initially started showing symptoms of a serious illness, he was denied care at an urgent care center because
he didn't have insurance. As health investigators tried to determine whether he died due to COVID-19, due to complications of COVID-19, or an underlying illness or whatever. It's about time we asked,
does it really matter? He was 17-years old, previously healthy, denied treatment because he
didn't have health insurance and he died way too young. He could've been saved but because he didn't
have insurance he wasn't. Morally speaking, does it
matter whether it was COVID? Should we stop caring if
it wasn't due to COVID? No, of course not, but
right now some politicians are trying to make this distinction. - And with all due respect
to Medicare for All, you have a single payer system in Italy, it doesn't work there. It has nothing to do
with Medicare for All, that would not solve the problem at all. We can take care of that right now, by making sure that no one has
to pay for treatment, period, because of the crisis. No one has to pay for whatever
drugs are needed, period, because of the crisis. No one has to pay for hospitalization because of the crisis, period. That is an national emergency
and that's how it's handled. - Political leaders are resisting people who are pushing the idea
of Medicare for All, saying we need to respond
to the pandemic, sure. But it's a stretch to
demand Medicare for All, because it's unrelated to the disaster. That maybe we should aim to get treatment for everyone now for
COVID, but in the future, that's going too far. - As you've been seeing,
our healthcare system seems to be crumbling underneath this
crisis, there is not enough. There's not enough support
for the healthcare system. There's enough support
for the American people inside of the healthcare system. Are you now reconsidering your position when it comes to single payer healthcare. - Single payer will not solve that all, the thing that is needed is for example, we have a whole number of hospitals that are being so stretched
including rural hospitals, they're gonna need more financing, that doesn't come from
a single payer system, that comes from the federal
government stepping up and dealing with the
concerns that they have. - But this 17-year old's
story is sadly not unique. So many people die
because they're uninsured and don't get care. Why do their deaths only matter
if they're related to COVID. If someone dies of
COVID or if someone dies of a preventable disease because they don't have health insurance, they are equally tragic. We should always care. It's not hopeless, and maybe
that's why it's so frustrating, we can actually improve society, the situation isn't hopeless
and we can't act like it is, or allow politicians to act
like it's out of their hands. I know that this is, it's
very sad, and it's scary and it's infuriating, but
the answer is not to despair. You can grieve, you can
be angry, you can be sad, you can be anxious, but
please don't despair. We will actually get through
the coronavirus pandemic. And when we do, we need to
keep fighting for people, fighting for their right
to live healthy lives. And I think we'll be able to do it. And you know who else thinks so. Maggie does, yes, she does. Thank you, guys, for sticking with me through that tough section. As promised, here is
Maggie, who is a being of pure light and joy. Maggie, do you wanna do the news for us? Do you wanna do the news? Do some news? Say please. Speak. (Maggie barks) Do the news. Down. Rollover. Good girl, sit. What's that? (barks) You love our audience? (barks) You want to poop on a billionaire's lawn and inside of their mouth? (Maggie barks) Okay, cute. Good girl, bye. (dramatic music) Ah-woo! Hi, everybody, thank you
so much for watching, like and subscribe. We have a podcast called Even More News. We've got a Patreon. We've got it all, we've got dogs. We've got you and we've got each other. Ah-woo. Yes, I know.
Fuck Gwyneth Paltrow.
Is it just me, or is society turning against the rich and famous more than usual lately?
at 8:30 they show a governor talking about how he's more than willing to die for America and he used the phrase:
".. are you willing to take a chance on your survival in exchange for keeping the America that ALL AMERICA loves...."
There are so many things fucked up about that phrase, that i don't even know where to begin
edit: also at 9:05 your president says on national television that the cure is worse than the problem, not letting millions of you die is better than letting millions of you die, keep that in mind when it comes to voting time
"Hey there, hello, it's me, Charlie Kelly, and I will be your news captain."
I really hope something changes after all this is said and done.
aye. this guy was alright.
Cody’s showdy <3
Love literate Charlie!
Fire video my dude