Guys welcome in. Excited to have you. We're going to get right to the point. We've seen you guys on YouTube. We want to sign you to a Christian music record deal. We're gonna get you guys circulating on
Christian radio how's that sound huh? Yeah first of all, let me just say I love the
diversity, love what you guys are doing here it's really gonna connect, resonate
with our audience. Listen if you want Christian music radio
airplay we know the formula. It's real simple: dirt roads, trucks, multiple uses
of the word girl. Woah that's next page. Oh shoot that's
country music. Christian music song formula: three chords, simple rhymes, vague struggles. Boom, hit song. You ever been flipping through the dial and you come
across a song like that just that just sounds Christian. Christian chord charts
even easier: A D G. It's the Holy Trinity of Christian music. Lyric writing is even
easier you guys. Oh yeah you always got to start with a vague struggle alright, a
hard time. Geographical references: storm, valley, desert. You gotta throw in some
vague Christian terms and just connect them randomly, make it really predictable.
Watch this. Seek his face mercy, grace Feel his love blessed from, above. We could sell that to Casting Crowns or Sanctus Real right now. We were thinking about
writing more honest lyrics, stuff from the heart. Okay, John Mark McMillan. Who's that? Yeah exactly. You ever heard of the song How He Loves? The Tomlin version? The Crowder version. The MercyMe version. Oh or the Kari Jobe version. The Jeremy Camp version. The Passion version. Exactly! McMillan writes from the heart, no one's ever
heard of him. If it wasn't for that "sloppy wet kiss" line, he'd be at the Passion
Conference right now. We just like to be more vulnerable in our lyrics, you know,
talk about real issues. Okay like not reading the Bible enough? Like about
balancing work and family well? No like real issues like addiction. You can only
mention your struggles in an abstract type of way: drowning, sinking. "Rain rain
on my face", that's from the smash hit Flood. Ever heard of it? Waves crashing. I
don't know this is a big one: Oceans. Check mate. Basically all you need to know is: more
water references. Have you ever heard of "I am a friend of God, he calls me friend"? Boom! Dove Awards. family Christian bookstore. Want to be on
the poster? Sign the paper. Thank you. This says our band name is
Cross Trainers. Yeah uh we like your name but it didn't
really resonate with our audience. We changed it to Cross Tra–it's like a mainstream play on words, get it? It's uh hashtag relevant. Guys we have merch for you already you're gonna love it, okay. We got
t-shirts, we got coasters, we got a mug we've got a fedora. Also before we go
any further, you guys aren't voting for Hillary, right? Okay this says we have to
include "chains being gone", "laying down burdens" and "darkness to light" in every
song. Every song, yeah, we kinda at this point just kind of given up on reaching
non-Christians. So we put out a Christian album, then what? Uh you're gonna put out a Christmas album, live album, a worship album, and a greatest hits. Bazinga. That's a heck of a career if you ask me. And if anything goes wrong, one of you guys can join the Newsboys. In the industry, we call them the revolving
doors. All right, you know, actually, I don't think that thi–hold on. Wait hold on hear us out, okay. We'll get you guys in the Dove Awards. Uh I don't know, have you ever heard of Winter Jam? We'll get you a starring role in God's Not Dead 3
featuring the Kevin Sorbo. That's okay Wait. We'll let you remake
Good Good Father. Oh my gosh we love that song, yeah. Yeah okay here we go,
let's make this happen.
