- How does trauma experience in childhood affect us over our lifetimes? What toll does abuse, assault, and neglect have on our
minds and our bodies? And how do we get better? Let's take a closer look. (upbeat music) I'm Jonathan Decker, licensed therapist. We are all familiar with post-traumatic
stress disorder or PTSD as a consequence of living in war zones. It is expected that a quarter
of the soldiers who serve will develop serious
post-traumatic problems. We often associate PTSD
with military service, but the reality is, that
the majority of Americans will experience a violent crime at some time during their lives. And experience the same symptoms of panic, fear, hypervigilance, extreme anxiety, and difficulty functioning in daily life. 12 million women in the United States have been victims of rape, with more than half of those
being girls younger than 15. For many, the war begins at home. Each year, millions of
children in the United States are reported as victims of
child abuse and neglect. 1 million of these cases are
serious, incredible enough for child protective
services to take action. In other words, for every soldier who
serves in a war zone abroad, there are 10 children who are
endangered in their own homes. Childhood trauma is an unspoken
epidemic plaguing millions, with resulting symptoms
frequently misdiagnosed as mental illnesses, such
as depression, anxiety, bipolar, obsessive
compulsiveness, and ADHD. Childhood abuse often qualifies as complex post-traumatic
stress disorder or CPTSD. What's the difference? PTSD usually occurs after
a single traumatic event, while CPTSD occurs after
repeat, inescapable trauma. It's important to recognize
that chronic emotional abuse and neglect can be just as devastating as physical abuse and sexual molestation. Not being seen, not being known, and having nowhere to turn to feel safe is devastating at any age, but it is particularly
destructive for young children. Being able to feel safe with other people, may be the single most important
aspect of mental health. Safe connections are fundamental to having a meaningful life. Social support is not the same as merely being in the presence of others, the critical issue is reciprocity, that when we reach out,
they will reach back. There's no replacement for
being truly heard and seen by the people around us. Feeling that we are held in
someone else's mind and heart. For us to calm down,
self-sooth, heal, and grow, we need an inner feeling
of safety and acceptance. When we are seen and heard
by the important people in our lives that can make
us feel calm and safe. Conversely, being ignored or dismissed can precipitate rage
reactions or mental collapsed. Focused attunement with
another person can shift us out of disorganized and fearful states. Childhood abuse affects
every aspect of your life. If you suffered in this way, you may struggle to manage
your emotional responses or keep them within a typical range. This can look like a
wide range of emotions, including sadness,
anger, and irritability. You may struggle to focus and concentrate. You might experience challenges in getting along with yourself and others. Your moods and feelings may rapidly shift from one extreme to another, from temper tantrums
and panic to detachment, flatness, and dissociation. When you get upset,
which might happen often, you may struggle to calm yourself down or to describe what you were feeling. Having a biological system that keeps pumping out stress hormones to deal with real or imagined threats, leads to physical problems
such as sleep disruption, headaches, unexplained pain, over sensitivity to touch or sound. Being so agitated or shut down, keeps you from being able
to focus your attention and concentration. To relieve tension,
you may turn to rocking or self-harming activities like biting, cutting, burning, and hitting, pulling hair out, or picking
out your skin until it bleeds. Childhood trauma can lead to difficulties with language processing
and fine motor coordination. You may be spending all your
energy on staying in control. It is usually a struggle to pay attention to things like schoolwork that are not directly
relevant to survival. Being hyper, aroused, or
flooded with intense emotions makes you easily distracted. Being frequently ignored or abandoned leaves you clinging and needy, even with the people who have abused you. This is further perpetuated
by the fact that quite often you have internalized the trauma. Meaning you might feel
that it is your fault or you should have done more to stop it. Suicidal ideation can even creep in. Having been chronically mistreated, you struggled to not define yourself as defective and worthless. The combination of feeling
fundamentally despicable and overreacting to slight frustrations, may make it difficult to make friends. If you've experienced sexual abuse, you may suffer from a large range of profoundly negative effects, including challenges with
thinking clearly, depression, dissociative symptoms,
troubled sexual development, high rates of obesity,
and self-mutilation. Abuse victims often shut
down and become numb. If you are stuck in survival mode, your energies are focused on
fighting off unseen enemies, which leaves no room for
nurture, care and love. For us humans, it means
that as long as the mind is defending itself
against invisible assaults, our closest bonds are threatened, along with our ability to
imagine, plan, play, learn, and pay attention to other people's needs. In order to play and have intimate
relationships with our partners or nurture our children, the brain needs to turn
off its natural vigilance. Often, traumatized individuals
are too hypervigilant to enjoy the ordinary pleasures
that life has to offer, while others are too numb
to absorb new experiences, or to be alert to signs of real danger. Over time, the body
adjusts to chronic trauma. One of the consequences of
numbing is that teachers, friends and others are not likely to
notice that you are upset. Honestly, you may not
even register yourself. By numbing out, you no longer react to
distress the way you should. For example, by taking protective action. It seems better to feel
nothing than to feel hurt, anger, fear, and panic. It is especially challenging for traumatized people to discern when they are actually safe
and to be able to activate their defenses when they are in danger. This requires having experiences that can restore the
sense of physical safety. So, how do you heal? By developing resilience. Resilience is the capacity to
bounce back from adversity. We learn how to take our hardships and reframe them to be empowering
instead of victimizing. You may have suffered abuse and hardship, but you are a survivor. You understand the pain and fear and are better equipped to support others who are going through similar ordeals. You are an advocate. Your experiences can help others grow, and you can learn and heal from theirs. Giving yourself purpose, taking your pain and putting it to use, even if only to thrive yourself as the ultimate act of
taking back the power, this is how you heal. We must also learn how to manage our panic and anxiety symptoms when triggered. Self-soothing to regulate
our heart rate and breathing so that we can think
clearly and experience calm. We learn to assess our
current situation for safety, taking comfort when we are
safe, and taking proactive steps to improve our circumstances
and abilities when we are not. Of course, there is more than this, that goes into healing
from childhood trauma. And what this looks like moving forward, will be the topic of future videos, as well as our full
innate healing program. Now, I want to hear from you
down below in the comments, how does childhood trauma affect you? What do you do to cope? Or if you have questions for us about dealing with the
effects of childhood trauma, and moving forward in a healthy way, let us know in the comments below, and we'll gladly address them. If you enjoy what we're doing here, please hit the subscribe
button and the bell so that you get our new videos. here at Mended Light, we're invested in
helping you heal yourself so that your light can shine to the world, so that you can be the
happiest, best version of you. Things can get better. I'm Jonathan Decker, licensed therapist, and I'll see you next time. (upbeat music)
