How $30 Saved A͏s͏mongold From Arrest | Stream Highlights #23

there's a knock at the door guess who it is the police opened up i called this [ __ ] this is terrifying my mom somehow convinces the uh the police officers three of them kill you fast forward rewind back to 2004. halo 2 had just come out and my friend eric had come over to my house a couple of days later or a couple of days beforehand and he brought over in the most poetic way possible inside of his ritalin bottle his adhd medicine he had combined styrofoam and gasoline to make what he believed to be napalm he brought it over to my house and in his he actually had it in his ritalin bottle he brought it over to my house and he said let's burn some [ __ ] up and we ended up playing halo 2 all night so we never even burned anything up or did anything but he left it at my house two weeks passes eric is in art class there's a knock at the door [Music] guess who it is the police [Music] the police say uh yeah uh we need to see eric and the teacher is like oh whoa whatever for like this is very important ma'am we just need to see eric right now [Music] so eric gets pulled out of class and he gets brought down to the office and the teacher asks them basically or sorry the police ask him basically why are you making bombs and eric tries to explain that it's not really a bomb or anything like that and then guess who shows up the bomb squad so they drive eric back to his house and the bomb squad goes in eric's garage and they extract the ritalin bottle filled with gasoline with little floating particles of styrofoam floating on top of it just chilling they extract it from his garage and they tell eric yeah this shit's really [ __ ] cool but you can't do this anymore like apparently the bomb squad guys thought that eric was really cool like they were totally on board with him making the bomb i think that they were just happy that they didn't have to extract the real bomb so they basically go erica's removed from class and he thinks that my mom was the one that ratted him out now my mom grew up in the 60s you don't talk to the [ __ ] police my mom did not rat air account okay she is not a snitch and she's so much of not a snitch here's what happened five months later six months later eight months later we're out playing airsoft guns in in a junkyard guess who shows up guess who it is the police they come over to my mom's house and i'm in the yeah they're i'm in the [ __ ] the police are there again and so uh they asked my mom they're like uh do you know where your son is and she's like no and they basically explain that me eric jason uh tim lowell and i think alec was there too had all gotten arrested but everybody else had gotten arrested except me i didn't get arrested you know why because the guy that found me and caught me was one of the junkyard people and they don't pay them very well and i told them did i give them my airsoft gun that's worth 30 dollars by the way if he let me go and so i left i got let go and so i got the [ __ ] out of there i jumped over like a [ __ ] 20-foot fence that barbed wire on the top of it i swim with this very clearly there's a fence there's a tree next to it and i had to like climb onto the tree to like step over the barbed wire and then i finally get off of that and i come back home and i turn off all the lights i turn everything off and i come home and my mom's gone nobody's at the house my mom's never gone i'm like [ __ ] so my other friend logan comes over and i'm like dude like the police are actually after us because i i walk out i come out past the [ __ ] like there's a bunch of trees and [ __ ] right i come out past the trees and i look over and i can see tim's car but before i saw tim's car i saw the [ __ ] lights on the police car so i saw i saw three police cars all around tim's car like blocking it in and so i'm like okay we're going the other way now and so i went back i go to my house i turn off the lights i hide in my room you know i i you know attempt the blinds everything like that everything's good my mom comes home she says what the [ __ ] are you doing and i'm like just chilling and she's like well i just got back from the police station and they got uh they got eric they got lowell they got tim they got jason they got everybody why didn't they get you and i told her i'm like you know i got away and she was really [ __ ] mad but i know she's proud of me for that and so she goes over there and my mom somehow convinces the uh the police officers not to put them on not to arrest them my mom never told eric's mom about this she never told him she says that poor woman has been through enough she don't need to know about this this is too much it's too much [Music] it was a good [ __ ] time man this was like 2005 or something like that listen like i'm not i'm not gay but i just feel like a cut dick is more aesthetically pleasing to look at it just is it is like look this is what it looks like i called this [ __ ] like four months ago like i said this [ __ ] was gonna happen a long [ __ ] time ago this was going to happen 100 [ __ ] percent is that we were gonna have mid-raw ads and we were gonna just get we're gonna get this [ __ ] pushed on us and i [ __ ] said that and nobody wanted to believe me everybody wanted to be like oh no they wouldn't do that that'd be bad for the website i'm like do you think they give a [ __ ] do you think those [ __ ] limp dick executives at amazon even give a [ __ ] about the website they give a [ __ ] about one thing and that's money they don't care how they get it they don't care about the longevity they're gonna pump and dump this [ __ ] site until it's dead and that's all they care about so right now if i run a 30 sec if i run three minutes of ads if i run three minutes of ads i only get a half hour of ad free viewing from my viewers i know this because i i do it at the end of every stream and it tells me like how much time i have no ads [Music] three three minutes every 30 minutes that's 10 of the time is a [ __ ] ad that is ridiculous okay give me one one one minute uh just unplug it all right give me a second okay um deactivating and activating what the [ __ ] is this this is terrifying what the hell is go what is this did i oh yeah i'm already part of ventier covenant this is insane and it's going to take two weeks for me to change this that's how long it takes for you to change your covenants i'm actually just [ __ ] girls are known for being worst players right there is not many like girls pro flaggers imagine if nagura was also a a boy like she would just be like best player in the world to be honest she's already this good while being a female i mean he's not anything against females but do you guys think that women driving are like driving better connected being also like worst gamers genetically like this is not toxicity or anything against women but it's true that genetically they're worse players yeah like this is just a fact the the driving nagura actually plays like good you know i'm not i don't know do you think nobody's better yeah it's stupid that is listen workouts i mean have have we seen wargox trying to do the have we seen him try to do the nash guitar world quest let me see if i find a clip hmm okay all right you trolling me okay my brain is going fk does that finally dude listen like everybody's good at different things shut the [ __ ] up disgusting meat disgusting self-proclaimed healer officer has a girl that does only fans groovy bot dj during raid nights once wiped seamen off of girl's belly with a breath and ferry to ducks groovy bought dj during raid nights once wiped seamen off of girl's belly with a breath and ferry two ducks that story is probably one of the better things he's gotten out of classic look at that dude we're in the little box you like that is this what you wanted is this what you wanted from me is this what you're getting out of the stream i can't play move this around look at this i fit right in the box let me see i get oh is it is it about holding the door for a woman for the last time mrs fairfax elbows off the table the reason why you hold doors for women and let them walk first is so you can look at their ass whenever they walk by okay it's nothing about etiquette it's all about functional just uh you know making situations work for you i don't want to take a vacation it's safe all right it's safe okay okay all right uh that's just all right okay that's you guys should not have told me that [ __ ] was safe because that [ __ ] is not [ __ ] safe right he's like have you ever been so focused on a video game that like a girl or like you've seen like a really hot girl and you're like i don't have time for you like this isn't like this is like a waste of my time i don't even want to think about this you know like yeah it happens to me all the time like i remember one time like there was a yes yeah it's like this was like [ __ ] like eight or nine years ago a long time ago and i remember i was i just woke up and i you know i went in the bathroom i looked at my hair it's like damn there's not as much here as there was yesterday this is just starting at this point right and i walk up the stairs and i think to myself man dude it would be so cool to have a girlfriend and then i get up and i see my computer and i change my mind i think to myself you know what [ __ ] it i'm happy yeah that's what it was and i remember that one moment and i always think of that because it was like yeah i'd [ __ ] post not clarity is too real well no it's not just about that right i mean it's like after you jerk off right um it's like get this [ __ ] let's get this [ __ ] [ __ ] out of here right or like that's the first thing that some people think of and like yeah obviously that's one thing but i'm talking about a higher level of enlightenment that's beyond that it's beyond that it's like it's the acknowledgement that you don't need it it's like the day one here's the thing right here's how like the no fap stuff goes because one time my mom [ __ ] caught caught me looking at porn and i was so embarrassed about it i didn't jack off for a month so it is i was 11. and so here's the first day right the first day is pretty much normal you just try not to think about it the second day um the second day like different uh like a wood formation makes you think of like titties the third day you start thinking about like what it would be like to stick your dick in a banana peel the fourth day um like let's say you're playing legend of zelda on like suit on super super nintendo and zelda turns you on with all three of her pixel uh or pixel titties so that's pretty much what you go for right and then like the fifth day this is where it starts to this is where it starts to change the fifth day you actually think about something that's not that you think about like uh uh like like school or something you like your friends something like that then you go to day number six and you're like you know what what is the periodic table and you know day seven a week into it you think to yourself maybe i should continue stephen hawking's work and so the beginning is very hard it's terrible but you have to work for it and after you do that you'll be okay holy [ __ ] man [Music] what the [ __ ] dude what the [ __ ] dude bro this [ __ ] this is a this evil cat man hasn't washed his face at least a week has very clear skin very unsettling i have not showered in over a week and i feel great i'm building up my earth shield i am a shaman now and it's great sucking it well yeah i don't know like i think that like see here's the problem is i don't know if i've reached enlightenment or insanity that's the problem is like i don't know like am i crazy or am i enlightened and do i just understand like that's the that's a [ __ ] issue it's like if somebody could just [ __ ] come down god could come down and be like listen man you [ __ ] really gotta clean this [ __ ] up like this is [ __ ] this is embarrassing uh and like you know i'd be okay all right well then maybe i should do something different and so uh obviously you get solved with one and then you do all the stuff that i'm gonna be talking about in this video oh my god the other one and that gives you a feed of strength now the fear of strength is uh it doesn't matter uh it's a complete waste of time that's why i haven't done it but i don't i don't even know why you guys i don't know why you guys want me to do this like yeah i feel bad for you guys really this is it's scary that people want me to do this because i just i i didn't know the game was this boring i i feel almost bad for making this video for you guys oh no anyway the basilisks some of the basilisks don't actually drop their own oh [ __ ] and here we are how does that work who knows i figured i mentioned this to he's just wait so now i'm the loser as you guys see it's the top the top uh is that bruce i don't think so okay we're good all righty all right what is this here yeah i'm wearing blue underwear how do you know oh yeah cause the hole in the pant right yeah okay give me a minute hit me with the mount right now i just little kick him out kick out little pump remove little pump remove little pump uh don't be rude azman please the clip i'm not gonna look at your lip your your link man like yeah i'm not gonna look at it do it well i was gonna say clip and i put link together and then it turned into whip right um i do that a lot see one of these days one of those words is going to start with an n one of those times it's gonna start with an n and you guys would better have my [ __ ] back whenever it happens you clip this and there's going to be a time that it [ __ ] happens huh what this what the [ __ ] i don't even have war mode on though like why am i flagged for pvp i don't even understand uh well how does this even have oh [ __ ] oh come on man science says in the u.s you have 97 chance of living if you hit covet 19. all right how about this i'm going to give you a bowl it's going to have 100 m m's in it three of them kill you pic pick one up you gonna you wanna pick one out you wanna pick out an eminem here this is a one percent mount this is a one percent mount this is a one percent mount uh this is a one percent mount one percent happen a lot [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Asmongold TV

Views: 318,223

Keywords: asmongold, asmongold reacts, asmongold wow, daily dose of asmongold, asmongold twitch, asmongold highlights, asmongold youtube, world of warcraft, asmongold moments, asmongold best, asmongold funny, catdany, asmongold tv, asmongold channel, asmongold arrested, asmongold story, asmongold almost arrested, how asmongold almost got arrested, xQcOW Stream Highlights, xQc Stream Highlights, Asmongold Stream Highlights, Stream Highlights

Id: P7w1VjCX8mA

Length: 20min 7sec (1207 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 18 2020