HoneyDew Podcast #186 | Bobby Lee

la jolla california i'll be at the la jolla comedy store august 5th through the 7th philadelphia pennsylvania i'll be there august 18th through the 20th austin texas i will be there september 2nd through the third get your tickets for those shows and all shows on my website at ryanzigler.com the honeydew with ryan zickler [Applause] welcome back to the honeydew y'all we're over here doing it in the night pants studios i'm ryan sickler ryan sickler.com ryan sickler on all social media and again i want to say thank you thank you for watching the show subscribing to this show for supporting this show you're legitimately changing my life and it i couldn't be more thankful for real so if you are watching hit hit subscribe on youtube it's free it's a free way to help the show all right and if you got to have more you got to check out the patreon it's called the honeydew with y'all i highlight the lowlights with you all and their stories like you've never heard in your life i promise you that it's five bucks a month if you sign up for a year you get over a month free and you're getting the honey do a day early ad free at no additional cost all right if you or someone you know has that story that has to be heard please submit it to honeydewpodcast gmail.com alright i'll be in la jolla august 5th through 7th philadelphia august 18th through the 20th in austin september 2nd and 3rd that's labor day weekend so get your tickets to that and all shows at ryansickler.com now that's all the biz you guys know what we do here we highlight the low lights i always say these are the stories behind the storytellers and i am very excited to finally have this guest first time here on the honeydew y'all please we've worked bobby lee yeah welcome to the how do you do bobby bro i did your thing other one the crab crab you did the craft feast yeah so it's not like it's not my first time on the honeydew it is but okay which i said that's right that's fine but can i ask you a question sure do you like this melon oh no the the green melon is that what the is that what honeydew is that's what honeydew is the whole point of it very quickly because i've said it a lot but i do want to you don't have to get into it if you can tell me off screen no off screen or off we're in a movie yeah um i was eating at a diner one night and they had that fruit cup there and i ate everything in the fruit cup except for the honeydew including the red grapes which i don't i like green grapes but i ate red grapes over the honeydew yeah and when i got up and i walked out i saw honeydew scattered on all the tables and i just thought man that's a perfectly good fruit that most of us just [ __ ] off we'll pass yeah and then it dawned on me that in life i am that i'm a perfectly good person that's been thrown away and tossed away again and again and again it's funny so i wanted to lean into the [ __ ] show because instead of everyone's highlights look at my life i'm on a yacht i'm onto this like i want to know when you weren't on a [ __ ] yacht right when you were on your knees right so what i'm saying is is that what i'm i wasn't saying anything but my point is is that my point is is this is i know that i know you and you say a lot of things like so-and-so didn't give me you know respect back then or he ignored me or this because i i have the same thing i have a list of people i'm gonna get revenge on right but don't you think a lot of that is in our minds i think a lot no i i well yes because we do think it it's in our minds however it's happened you can't deny it everyone sure everyone's gets disrespected and [ __ ] on all the time yeah but i don't i don't hol so here's the thing i told you before we were talking i don't harbor ill feelings i use it as fuel to move forward yeah you know what i mean like go ahead but also most of the people that big time to me and i they've all turned out to be [ __ ] shows you know what i mean like yeah the one thing that's been how old are you now i'm 49 we're the same age it's been 50. it's one of the lessons that's taken me longest to learn in life and i still slip up here and there is that most things take care of themselves i don't have to jump in and say this and do that but let me just have a point though so i was at keegan's keegan keys birthday party and ron howard was there i'm a big ron howard fan [ __ ] yeah right and so i was like telling kalyla i was like i gotta say something right she's like don't just ignore it right and so he was at the buffet and i love apollo as apos i said i love apollo right he just kind of walked away with a thing yeah he kind of just walked away with thing right and i got about 30 and he was gone but he was gone right my point is is that he number one he probably didn't hear it right number two probably gets it all the time right so it's like normally i would be like i'm going to take that person i'm going to get revenge and run over but right right but at the end of the day he probably didn't hear it and you know it's a party he's got other people right no what that's what he knows is that but i know that dudes come up to me and go i've heard like bobby lee's an [ __ ] and they go why because oh well he's you know i said i've met him three times and you know i mean he doesn't remember me or whatever like that but it's like something that i'm not really privy to or i'm aware of my point is is that in life right you know maybe it's a lot of it just lives in our head yeah well i did shows with you and knew you for well over a decade and then when i got to work with you individually yeah on the comedy jam you were like who are you and but that's what yeah but but i don't really remember that but also i didn't take it personally because i know that is how it is some people are they're they're everyone's got the look just because we're we're co-workers at the end of the day if you strip away what we do because what we do i do believe is magical and it's [ __ ] awesome yeah but at the end of the day if you just classify it as a job okay we're just co-workers all of us are co-workers that's true you know so you've got some of these guys we're in a big corporation that's it with a lot of people that working there that's right yeah i got to know everybody nope so or not you'll know them hey hey jan yeah hey whatever how's this how's that but you know outside of that you don't text talk hang out but so brian simpson you know him mm-hmm i remember a time where for a couple years i never even looked at the dude right i go is that a homeless black man in my head right and then all of a sudden like i could see him rise you see him rise right and i it's nothing that i'm i'm not going out of my way to do it i just would find myself in conversations with him and just being i'd see him perform i go god this guy's really good and over the years and then like he was in austin we were doing some festival i don't know whatever moon moon tower and he was sitting there outside of the hotel it was like six in the morning he had just partied and he just got i had already slept and he didn't look good so i kind of walked up to i rubbed his back and i go you know hey you should get some sleep by giving advice and you think so i go yeah you you look weird you know what i mean and i was i was concerned for him right but the whole time in my head it's like i've been ignoring this guy i ignored this guy for years right so it's just like i've been analyzing that in my head like what is that about the human condition when you see somebody rise to your level and then all of a sudden you change but i don't like that about myself but is that is that what we are i don't know i try to treat everybody the same from the get-go because you never know who's gonna rise yeah yeah you know what i mean yeah but also i think this you know what let me focus for one second would please plug and promote everything you would like to do right now all your shows why why now cause i always do it at the top and i do want to do that because i'm here for the comedian wow instead of people who wait two hours yeah plug it now and then everybody's like can i do it in like 10 minutes you can do whatever the [ __ ] you want i want you to know what we're doing you know that's another thing i don't want to change about myself when people tell me to do something i won't do it but i want to change that about myself i'm going to ask you so ask me to do another absolutely no i will will you please i will and i will i will all right so um yeah i got nothing no no i have uh you know i'm on two podcasts tiger belly and um bad friends with andrew centino and then um in august i guess i'm in a show called reservation dog second season and um i mean i have a bunch of other things but they're not coming out yet so yeah that's good good all right yeah um so what let's talk about what well you tell me if we're allowed to talk about it yeah when i saw you said uh because i had said i've never met kalila i love her i want to say this okay ten years ago when i met her on tinder my career was in the [ __ ] like like i was literally about to get let go of my agency and i wasn't bringing up any income i wasn't getting any auditions i would sporadically over the years maybe we'll book a pilot or something right but it was like nothing really intended to work out for me and i you know i would see other people rise and i was literally at a point where i was like you know what i gotta change something about how i view my business and and and not to make it like my number one thing you know because you know when you make your business your number one thing it's just a lot of pain that goes along with that right and life is not about that so i you know decided to pour my attention into a relationship and i met kalila at the perfect time and um you know in many ways she's the love of my life i um she reinvented my career um we started tiger belly with nothing we just bought equipment from guitar center and we just started doing it this was about eight nine years ago and um and it grew you know it grew and it helped other aspects of my business and now like you know i'm selling show i have a couple of shows i sold and you know i'm i'm in i have a pretty big movie i'm coming you know i mean just things are happening and i really equate that to um you know the dedication of kalila in me her investment in me and my investment in her and um she is the love of my life and i love her dearly and um she changed me in so many different ways that being said um we broke up yeah yeah yeah yeah and this is the first time you know i don't know if this is we'll hold this episode until you hold it right now we'll not swallow it yeah yeah because i really would like to meet her i saw her for 10 seconds at christina's party yeah and you as well you came in bowed to me and bounced and then i was like what about i was dressed like i was from the 80s yeah yeah i don't know what it was it was dark is that a magical gnome and uh um and i would love to have her on here too yeah but uh i did not know you you guys broke up no one knows this is the first time i've talked about it well we'll hold this episode yeah this literally is the first time i've talked about it on a podcast um hopefully my other one would have aired by now that people kind of know but um it was a long difficult decision between us and um we still live together that's what you said they were still living sleep on the same bed we still laugh and giggle and um we're going to the philippines soon because we're working on a project together um yeah i mean nothing's really changed outside of the fact that we're not you know um a comm in a committed relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend um that might change i don't know i mean but right now we're we feel good i mean i can only speak for myself you know i mean i feel pretty good about it um it's painful it's hard i mean when you're in a relationship with someone that you love that hard for 10 years 10 years yeah but a lot of things that went on you know um and you know people follow the internet you know and follow my story you know a lot went on in the last year but it's you know honestly it was mostly my fault and i'll tell you why um a couple years ago maybe three years ago before the pandemic um i could see myself out of the relationship in terms of like giving her what she needs you know women they need cuddles they need attention they need intimacy they need all that and i was not giving her anything i was just playing video games and like watching porn all day you know what i mean and she would say every day she would cry and be like what about me what's going on and i'd just be like i'm just not i don't know i'm going through something i would make some some sort of excuse you know and um in the last two or three years we had sex maybe twice what yeah and she would always want and i just for some reason i think getting so you're saying you're not just watching porn you're jerking off you're self-satisfying yours no i want you for the cinematography what the [ __ ] are you talking about oh you said what yeah yeah yeah but you're self-satisfying everything the video games the comedy the porn and she's like what about me yeah and i would have three times in two to two years yeah wow you know you you reflect at your behavior and what caused all this and um she's getting a lot of things on the internet you know i mean and i have to play i have to take 95 of the blame really i think you know i really believe that um i mean i'm with you that's good everything is getting more expensive including rent prices are skyrocketing all over the country and buying a home might feel scary right now but it could be your most stable option i highly recommend checking out the how to buy a home podcast host david cedoni is an industry expert with years of experience who is devoted to helping first-time home 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listen to the how to buy home podcast today find how to buy a home on youtube and wherever you listen to podcasts the hot summer months are here and we need to be proactive about keeping our bodies fueled and hydrated one stick of liquid iv and 16 ounces of water hydrates you two times faster and more efficiently than water alone listen i love liquid iv i'm taking that every single day we have it here at the studio i'm giving it out it shows all right i'm giving it to anybody i know that asks tom segura security got some what's up marcus what i like most about liquid iv is how easy it is to take along with you no matter where you are you just drop it in and you're good to go it really is that easy and one stick of liquid iv hydration multiplier and 16 ounces of water hydrates faster and more efficiently than water alone it contains five essential vitamins it's got b3 b5 b6 b12 and vitamin c with three times the electrolytes of traditional sports drinks it's made with premium 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you know so i you know it's life and um [Music] from now on i'm just not i'm i'm i think i'm unfuckable [Laughter] because you know i i've never gotten an idea and i've never gotten a dm you said this to me you've never gotten a dm i mean girls that's what i'm saying i i've had girls that just send uh just titties like hey here's some titties thought you could start your day off with them to do this yeah so i love them to do that yeah i've never gotten a shoulder blade or a finger or nothing from a woman but it's fine but i told you once you say you're single and you say that you're opening the floodgates you're gonna get some titties i don't think so because i've asked for titties before that's why you didn't get them they're gonna yeah they're gonna yeah yeah yeah and um yeah yeah i've gotten dicks i believe yeah yeah yeah i don't like decks yeah but you know honestly i don't it's funny i um i i have no i have i don't want to see anybody that's what i want so you're in a you're at a point where you're not or you don't feel you can make things right in this relationship right now yet you also don't want to go meet someone no it's not about that i don't literally don't want it i have no interest in compromising in listening even in like being a government and pretending you know i mean i have no interest in that you mean i i i have no interest of like what about you you know i don't care you know yeah yeah you know i don't care you know i mean and it's like um because i i have no interest of like you know uh hey let's go have dinner but you know what i i you know i'm cutting out meat so let's go to let's go to veggie grill right i'm going to mortons i'm just going to start dating you dude yeah i'm going to martin's you have fun at veggie grill i have no compromi i have no room in my life to go i'll go there right you know um with me it's like you get this is what you get with me all right and this is every ask any girlfriend i've ever had right is you'll get some financial security in the sense of like you know i i always pay for the meal i mean if you want to go to tulum we'll go to tulum right um if you want but it's like you know one time this one girl was a dj i dated a girl that was a dj like an amateur and she's like i'm djing in a club you know i mean downtown or a little tokyo i go have fun like if she wanted me to go i just have no interest and that's the women don't like that no they don't like yeah though you know if they were like djing with steve aoki you know what i mean i think i'll go that you know what i mean but it's like i'll go one time i'll go one time yeah i'll go one time right but then it's like you're there and then you know i mean you're like and then you gotta lie like you're good i don't know what good is as a dj yeah i don't know you're lying you're like you were really good when you did the two things it was so good you know but like i don't wanna i i'm lying you know i mean and it's like um here's another thing though what that i want to say is is that like i'm also very good at supporting what you do like for instance right let's say you're a girl all right and you're like you know i like um you know i like going into the mountains and i like going to the rivers and i like panning for gold okay that's your hobby like your great grandfather was a gold panda 49er yeah 49 is that what they call yeah 49er right and i'd be and she and if you were my girlfriend you said i'm going to go to colorado i don't know where they do it you know do they do in colorado i don't know if anyone does it anymore i'm going to go to the mountains of columbine i don't know is that a thing yeah i don't know i'm going to the mountains of columbine because that's the only thing i know about colorado because of the shooting yeah yeah so i'm gonna go to the mountains of columbine or and i'm gonna go paying for gold for a month i'd be like do you need money to go yeah i'll give you the money right you go right just don't [ __ ] anybody else right and i'm completely for that right but if i play more than two hours of video games it's a problem do you understand what i'm saying yeah so you're independently codependent what does that mean meaning you like alone time you like to be by yourself go over there do whatever you want to do be loyal have fun yeah enjoy it hell here's some money i'll support it but i'm gonna stay right the [ __ ] here and do my thing yeah you know uh you like to be starfield is going to come out in about eight months i think you know i mean is this the movie no it's a bethesda video game right and they did fallout and skyrim right and i know that when you know when starfield comes out i'm going to be playing that thing 16 hours a day baby are you really oh that's a thing yeah i don't give a [ __ ] i'm playing it 16 hours a day and i don't want to be in a relationship where they're like you know we're going to go to the park you know and i want to do that yeah you know i mean i think 50 and i was like i don't want to do it and i i'm sorry if you want to go to the park with your friends i'm all for it yeah i mean and if you want to go to mace maestros in between video games and get a steak dinner let's do it i'm your guy yeah and that two in the morning you want to come over and you want to give me a hand job let's do it a hand job whatever it is i'll eat your vagina you know what i mean i'll eat a vagina you know what i mean whatever you want you know what i mean and i'll do it good i'll do the best of my ability i'll do the best of my ability right so this is so that's why i know from now on right i feel like i'm just gonna be alone okay so that's what i was gonna say so you've accepted that there is no human woman out there that's going to say yes to that proposal you just gave and you're you're okay with that and you you don't blame them one bit yeah you don't bla let me blame what well i'm saying if they if someone if you said look i'm gonna be playing this game for 16 hours a day and they were like hey no thanks you're like i get it yeah no no no harm no no but here's the thing though here's my thing okay is if i wasn't making money right that's one thing right but i'd go on the road if i book a movie or tv show i do that i show up on time i know my lines i know the character you know what i mean i sold a couple of shows one with theo vaughn at fox right you know we're i'm gonna get the showrunner for that i'm you know i mean and i'm going to go into the writer's room and try to figure this out right and me and theo came up with the idea so i i created creatively i do all the things i need to do to make money and to to be productive in that way right if i was a guy that was just smoking weed all day and doing that that's one thing right but i'm not i'm not a loser right it's just that i don't want to go to veggie grill and you know i mean i don't well this sounds like video games is your golf that's what i'm saying dude yeah how long do you play golf for i don't golf but i know those guys are out there like six seven eight hours and [ __ ] yeah right and for some reason golf seems that's okay because if you're outdoors you know man you're with your buddies right but it's like spending more money than you are on those video games right right lessons clothes clubs balls tease all of them yeah so you know um that's where i'm at i'm also 50 and also can i just be honest with you great bobby thanks but i'm a kind of chubbier old korean man now in the market i don't know here's the thing here's what it is i have yeah i mean i have alpha man alpha male eyes that's the thing right like i think god intended me for to be with like a four foot seven vietnamese girl named ning ning right or whatever oh whatever you're right yeah like you know i think that's what god intended but i have alpha man of alpha male eyes like you know all those dudes you know i mean the comedy store that you know or in the comedy right they're machismo i have their eyes when it comes to like attractive women right clyde is very attractive right so it's like i just feel like with this new approach you know i mean and with my alpha male eyes i'm just gonna be alone and i'm okay with that are you no but i wouldn't have to be because it's like are you okay with it for a minute at what point at what point do you think it's going to be difficult too because she's in your the same home what point do you think you'll start longing for that affection or or i don't think so no no do you not enjoy it let's be honest can we be honest for a second please what i've realized because i've analyzed every relationship i've ever been in right in the first two years you know i mean you're into it right because you're you're getting to know the person you know um [Music] the mystery of it all like when i first saw kalila naked i cried did you oh yeah i whimpered and i looked the heavens and i said thank you lord there is a god you know what i mean this is like winning a million-dollar lottery i appreciate it you know you know so in the beginning it's always that right and if you get to know the person everything's a mystery right but after about three or four years right the mystery goes away right and it becomes more of a friendship and a compromise and you have to start you know and life happens right people get sick you know i mean things happen you get old you know i mean and it's like it begins to fall apart you know and it's like i just why is that right and i just think that it might the type of guy that likes the mystery of it and the chase and then once i have it you mean does that all go away and what i found over the years is it does for me so i have to figure out how how i don't want that to happen again right and so on how do you bobby lee get over that hump that's what you need to figure out they break apart and i i want to meet somebody where it just doesn't look i get it i've never had a successful relationship uh it's always either me or them you know yeah i'm i'm look i'm not easy you know i'm set in my ways i'm i'm 49 i'm 50. so also i say this all the time as comedians what we do is a very selfish thing it's a solo sport it's not it's not improv it's not a a a ensemble it's not a [ __ ] it's a solo sport when you're up there you're up there by your [ __ ] self we don't see each other unless we're on the same show in town outside of that we're seeing each other maybe in an airport here and there it's a selfish and not in a negative way but that's what selfish is it's all about me and this is my thing that i'm doing so i get it also as a comedian how exactly how you feel with like i'm good on [ __ ] veggie grill you know yeah yeah yeah yeah i get it yeah it's a selfish thing here's another added element to my situation is is that you know my intentions with kalila is we're continuing to do tiger belly indefinitely well i mean that's very mature too because why kill [ __ ] something that's no we work great together and we also have other things that we're producing and things that we're doing and um she's my best friend and so that's another thing it's like i have that with her you know i mean and so i can't see a world where i i have no interest you know i mean um but every once in a while i would love to see a titty you know let's just a random titty on dm you know i mean but that's it you know i mean i don't know maybe i'll change my tune you know i mean this is fresh for me and people change but um you know with all that said you know i i have no interest i um you know i want to focus on you know internal um things in terms of just getting better as a human being you know i you know i also just let the internet affect me you know yeah i mean you've gone through a lot of [ __ ] yeah especially for someone who has um the issues you talk about openly to have to go through that amount of stress and anxiety the last couple months it's been it's been terrible it's been crazy yeah it's been terrible yeah yeah there's a lot of things going on that people aren't even privy to that um i'm not willing to talk about right but um yeah there are a lot of things that are going on and um i just you know i just as a human being i buckled you know i'm you know and i have to change and and so that's what well i'd like to say this um you can say you buckled i don't think you buckled you bent a little bit but when i saw you in the green room the second time the first time i called i lent you my support i gave you a hug and i did say that the word the words mastermind and bobby lee should never be back to back anyway so that's how i knew all that was [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah but the next time i saw you in the in the green room you were like i'm [ __ ] bobby lee and i was like goddamn right you are you're bobby [ __ ] lee yeah i forget you know what does that mean even like you know it's so funny i know but everything to you that's what the [ __ ] who the [ __ ] do you think you're talking to yeah it's a strange thing because it's like you know you you know we go to the grocery store we're human beings right we we have the same problems as everyone else i'm just i'm a human being living on this planet and i um you know i never think about really who i am or what i do right every once in a while a kid will come up to me and go nosotros papaya or they'll say i'm a bad friend or whatever it might be and it feels great or i loved you on this you know i mean and that feels good but at the end of the day it's like you know you forget about i don't know it's a combination between being in because that you know i i struggle between being an egomaniac and the king and a peasant right like sometimes i i feel like i'm the king look at who me look at me and then there's a lot of times and this could fluctuate during the day where i feel like i'm a piece of [ __ ] i'm a loser and you know you know you go into whatever that is you know i mean and i just want to get to a point where i'm just who i am and just in the middle somewhere you know i mean that's really essentially where i want to be you know but yeah i am so when i told you that i'm bobby lee it was because i had spent that for two three weeks going i'm a loser you know i mean i'm a piece because i read things online and and stuff and i just you know that day i saw you i was just like you know no [ __ ] it i'm bobby lee you know i mean so it's like um but i do want to find the middle killer set i had a pretty good set yeah but you know i want to be in the middle you know don't you want to be in the middle yeah yeah yeah i mean look let me ask you this thing because you mentioned outside we were going to get coffee you mentioned rehab so what happened to how long ago was rehab and and what what actually made you finally say all right i'm going to do it the deaths of um bob saget and louis anderson yeah yeah it was weird i um i was using like you know i went to mexico with santino to do the cancun [ __ ] santino yeah santino the cancun um just for laughs thing and i was totally just i just i had a vomit beard like you know i had poo on my fingers i was [ __ ] up were you drinking yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean i pull my fingers and vomit beers you know i mean i was just walking out just you know days you know what i mean and i had a bunch of drugs on me it was really bad and um is that the first time and how how many years you used a couple years you know what i mean but um i had already been doing it for a couple months but it was like now getting out of hand where it was like 24 hours a day and this and that yep and um then i then bob saget and died and then louis anderson died and then i started coughing up blood whoa yeah i started coughing up chunks of like blood and i would send it to kala and then go am i what the [ __ ] can't breathe from drink just from the drinking no from um i smoking cigarettes and so much weed you know what i mean and they were like balls of red chunks of things and i in a napkin and i and then i just started thinking i just convinced myself that i had lung cancer you know jesus christ i'm next cuz i i also have i'm ocd so i was like everything happens in threes and i'm the third one oh my god i became obsessed with it right and then i convinced myself i couldn't breathe i would have these panic attacks and i would be also drunk or high or a combination between both things and i just became imprisoned in in my own mind you know and i started doing prayers you know i mean like please i don't want to die i don't want to die i have too much to do and i um i asked kalila book me into a rehab and that's i went that's essentially all it was you know i um it was the worst psychological one you know i could probably last another year or two you know after that but it was um [Music] yeah you know you're also when you turn 50 and you're acting like that you know in and then people not not that bob saget and louie anderson are my age there are a couple of generations probably a generation or two above me you know i mean but these are two people that i knew i wasn't as close to bob but he was very nice to me but louie i used to open for and stuff and i just thought um yeah i just have too much to do you know and i'm old and i have to change i can't do this anymore you know i mean your body just kind of goes whoa what i think that's what it was i think my body was going we can't do the [ __ ] that you were doing when you were 17. right you know and so um after i got out of the two i went to two places after i got out after a month you know i and i lost was in a month yeah i lost i had a movie that had got booked with zoe dashnell it was a pretty good movie that when i was in rehab i lost because i was in rehab oh man i lost a tv show you know i lost things you know i mean and when i got out i'm like you know i i just equated all that stuff to be like a result of doing that kind of behavior and so i'm doing everything i can just not to get back there again you know um i want to do the next chapter of my life which i feel like is my final chapter you know i don't know how many chapters i have but you know but for the rest of my life i wanna you know i wanna do it the best way i can in a healthy way it's interesting um i when i worked for uh oprah yeah you worked for oprah i did i worked for oprah winfrey yeah there's only one bro i don't know i don't know for william wait you were for oprah winfrey yeah right here in l.a when she started her network own the oprah winfrey network yeah i was uh you ever talked to her i met her one time yeah twice i met her um i went and um um i was a producer on her shoots and stuff and they were doing shows so i got to meet her get all their guests and [ __ ] but i was very early in um setting up her network out here and at the time there was this thing they they called a shift it would have happens in your life and it sounds like you're going through one right now you're shedding a lot of old relationships that you've had for some time and it seems like this shift is coming and i don't think it's necessarily just because you're 50. i think there's this time in your life where certain things fall out the way they fall out and you're in a shift and you're shedding some people and things and maybe you keep them in your life in a certain way go ahead bobby lee what i want to say though too is that directly to the people out there you know what i mean what i want to say to the people out there is that is i don't have a problem with brendan schaub right or callon or these guys you know i mean i've known brian callan for 20 over 20 years you know i mean we're from the same show i mean he was on mad tv before me but we're a part of that family right so it's like i've been to brian's house you know i mean i've hung out with those guys many many times right i was just setting a boundary for myself because they were saying crazy things that had nothing to do with right you are a unique mashup of all your favorite things and there's a multitude of ways to express yourself celebrate all that you are and explore who you can be with customizable prescription glasses from pear eyewear look when i first got these i was like i don't know how these are gonna look let me test it out they're awesome all right they've got so many different colors so many different styles the prescriptions are on point then you just boom snap these little magnetic pieces right over you look from the side you can't tell i'm telling you i'm very um critical and i love these things all right pair eyewears base frame and magnetic top frame combination makes it easy to switch up your style base frames start at just 60 bucks including prescription lenses there are hundreds of top frame designs to match whichever base frame you 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18 and over and it ships right to your door anywhere in the u.s so whether you're looking for a new buzz or a chill way to enjoy an old favorite dag grass will leave you in a euphoric mood listen i'm telling you i know some of the stuff out there is high octane gives people panic attacks and all that this that grass is great i've even had their mom grass too it's fantastic all right right now dadgrass is offering my listeners 20 off your first order when you go to dadgrass.com honeydew go to dadgrass.com honeydew for 20 off your first order that's dadgrass.com honeydew now let's get back to the do so it's like i'm not in a war with them you know i just told them don't you know normally these guys i would let people talk to me in that way right because in comedy obviously you know that there are people that are not like you like you and i think are more similar in terms of like our sensibilities you know i mean we're a little sensitive no very yeah very sensitive and we're um you know little soft creatures right and there are other people that are like a more dominant alpha-e right and so it's like i usually just absorb that [ __ ] but i'm like because of the shift that you're talking about i just basically said hey man don't talk to me like that because i didn't do anything right and um we're done why can't i do that as a human being you can that's what i'm saying to another human being so that's all that happened but people online are like saying like it's a war or there's a there's a division there is no division right i'm just a guy that says i don't want to be talked to in that way i didn't do anything right it was just out of left field it was just it was very traumatic and i don't need to take that yeah my producer kirsten is on the [ __ ] she's got her finger on the pulse of everything podcasting and she was telling me all the stuff that was going on so i watched i watched your episodes and i've talked to other comedians about it as well and you've been pretty open and honest about everything out there yeah so i don't blame you one bit we were at a wedding together and i um you know he was getting coffee and i walked up to him and go what'd you get oh you guys i got a ice cr what are you gonna get you know i mean i go i'm gonna get a double espresso you know i'm not that him and i ever gonna get back to this place but it's like i i feel like there's you know well that was like a work function you were performing yeah i'm trying to figure it out you know i mean i'm i'm trying to figure it out but um boundaries are not allowing that anymore yeah i don't allow it you know but um that's all it is you know i mean it was like um i did i never had a problem with those guys i love those guys in fact one of my most viral things when it comes to podcasting is on fighter than kid it's like still out there you know i mean it's a very funny bit and um you know we worked well together at one point it's just it just got out of hand you know and um i don't know man it was i wish it never happened but and did that affect my relationship with yeah you know it's it did i mean a lot of that stuff affected it it kind of um put more fuel on something that you know i mean that didn't need more fuel right now and um that was already having problems yeah and also i i you know i don't know if i think maybe a year from now maybe i don't know i mean maybe i'll realize that kawhila's the one for me and i'll we'll get back i don't know who knows what will happen but foreign's like she's still gonna be right next to you on the bed yeah yeah and we're i'm i sleep we sleep great and we communicate and um there's a lot of crying and a lot of um growing up that we're doing you know and it's you know really it's tough but um like i said man um i don't know what's gonna happen i i know also that's another thing it's like i don't give a [ __ ] i'm not you know i don't want to live in the results of anything you know it's like i'm not a fortune teller you know i can't foresee i could die in a year i don't know what's gonna happen right but it's like the most important thing is obviously the moment and um the here and now and i just need to l live in this space you know because for my whole life i've never lived here i've never lived in the moment everything was like what is it you know how come this guy got that and how how can i get that and what if this happens and that it's just like not living you know i mean you're reacting to things that didn't happen right you're reacting to the things that happened in the past right and it's like it's no way to live and i can't that's what the emdr therapy did that's what i'm doing yeah that works the way it is you had trauma yeah so i i it's so funny because i do it too i dr drew recommended it i started talking to him about it and he's like have you ever done it and i said no he goes you would know if you have it's not talk therapy so i went and um i had been fine as far as anxiety and things so or so i thought and then my daughter almost got hit by a car and man did i come unhinged i got scared to fly i got scared of heights just fear fear fear and i couldn't shake it the flights you know i'm like oh every bump and i used to [ __ ] love taking off on the runway i felt like a [ __ ] rock star yeah and um i knew i needed to beat it because we fly [ __ ] everywhere so i went to emdr and i started working on that i mean i sleep on flights now yeah it works yeah it works your daughter almost getting run over was the traumatic event that was the [ __ ] thing that was made i was laughing like uh like my trauma just been laying in a hammock like oop here's my there's my call yeah and here it comes you know yeah and it had been there all these years it just wasn't triggered by anything and that fear triggered it and man did it show up in ways that i had never experienced before yeah there's a lot of incidences that happened to me as a kid that i've worked on with the mdr and it just it's i'm not you might have it fully processed at all but it's there any you're comfortable talking about oh yeah i mean the one the main one that i i processed this you know my brother and i used to i'm just not funny you know it's a funny there's a comedy podcast right this is not funny i'm doing just fine he's not funny at all though man all right anyway so my brother and i we lived in minnesota right and um edina minnesota and um dover drive that street we lived on and um my brother and i shared a room and i i don't know how i was maybe eight or nine my brother was six and i remember distinctly remember two three in the morning being awoken to my mom being in my room she turned the lights on and she opened her mouth and her mouth was bleeding her tooth was missing right and then she was saying in korean help me um my dad's coming in right because my dad had punched her in the face right and then i remember my brother and i and my mom barricading the door holy [ __ ] yeah because my dad was coming and i yeah he was drunk you know saying all kinds of say and i just remember the fear of that right and um he opens the door we get i mean you know he got in and i don't remember what happened afterwards right but i just remember distinctly doing that you know what i mean you can still see your mom with that tooth knocked out oh yeah and she was just in town because she did the uh bad friends live oh yeah andrew right and her the tooth that's missing she has an artificial tooth there really but it's like it stained a little bit right so it always reminds me of it you know what i mean but i've done emdr on that incident right and there's a lot of instances like that in my childhood right and what that does is like you know now as an adult you know um you walk into every room i i don't walk into a restaurant or a comedy club like everyone else you know i walk in and i look at everything first i look at the permit where it's safe you mean where the exits are right all that stuff right and i you know i just look at life in a different kind of way in an end in a cautious way you know and that's all stems from you know how i was raised and the experiences that i have you know and i don't want to live like that either right so i've i've done there's a lot of and my mom used to be very violent to me too so there's some instances with that but it's like um it's funny my therapist says that like um if i didn't find comedy i would be one of those guys you know i mean that you know i could have been you know i mean a transient kind of a guy you know i mean um if i didn't get sober early on in my life i got sober when i was 17. there's a lot of choices that i made the two things was getting sober and also um starting to do stand up at 23 that saved me you know i mean because you know i was able to find something that you know i used as a defense mechanism which is comedy and humor and um because i was sober too that i could walk through fear you know what i mean a little easier because back then or still in aaa you know you have this higher power thing so i would you know the third step is to turn it over right so it's like what's that mean turn it over to god so let god you know have basically faith jesus take the wheel yeah but not jesus you know yeah yeah so it would be like when i was 23 when i 23 and i started doing stand-up i was so scared but i would do that i go i'm just going to turn it over and then i'm going to um just dive in you know what i mean because um you know i want a big life i've always wanted a big life and as a kid living in the circumstances that i did you know i i always dreamed of something different and better for myself you know and um so luckily i found comedy i mean luckily if i lived in korea dude i'd be a [ __ ] i'd be carrying rice i mean i'll get back and forth from between funniest rice carrots making everyone loud right i put the rice on my nose or i was snort right yeah i would do things yeah you know what i'm saying right right i would do tricks you know what i mean yeah yeah yeah but you're like i you know i would be having some ridiculous job like that right but like so luckily you know in america you know i mean there are other options thank god for podcasting like this is a thing changed my life it changed my life too you know so it's like um what i love about this podcasting and i love this is what i love about it is you know back in the 90s you'd come to la when did when did you move to la uh the second time 97 right so when you come here so back then with 97 were you doing stand-up then no i did improv first and then stand up afterwards right but when you came here you're like all right do you there was like a blueprint on how to make it i mean i had a loose direction i just knew i needed to get on stage right and that's why i figured it out from there like i never once considered agent manager none of that oh really not in the very beginning the first thing was like let me find places that was an important thing that you needed so you would you know a lot of comics would hang out and they'd be like who's your age are you sad you don't mean all those things and then you would go you would contemplate them how do i get a sad car you know what i mean and then they would go you have to take acting classes so you'd be in a meissner technique class i mean spend all your money right on like doing repetitions or whatever right because you there was a blueprint and then there was gatekeepers like if these casting directors didn't like you you're [ __ ] or if these agents didn't like you you're [ __ ] right or if this network said what you're you're funny but we like these 10 people right so right so it those were it and if they didn't like you you're [ __ ] out of luck right but what the internet did was it you it bypassed that it did not only did it do that it also proved us right i knew i'm not saying i'm funnier than anyone else but i'm saying i know i'm funny enough to make a living at this and be successful at it and you're not giving me a chance and these [ __ ] people and these things let us go right over that [ __ ] wall or under it or around through it yeah and prove ourselves not only right it's a big [ __ ] you back to everybody else like look you're just holding us back for nothing yeah why because i look like an ex-boyfriend you don't like you know what i mean it's that dumb sometimes yeah it's that [ __ ] dumb yeah yeah there is no structure to this there's no like do this for four years you do this another two years you're this and then you're a doctor you know a lawyer and you're a judge none of that yeah none of that yeah so so saturday i did a tiger barely live we're at the ace hotel theater in downtown sold it out um 1600 seats we did a game show on stage right and it was all tiger belly fans you know i mean we did a we did a q a for vips earlier and i got really emotional people got really emotional they were talking about why they love our podcast and this and that anyway during the show you know packed it was killed i mean it was like people stan it was insane right but my asians showed up my agents not asians asians the asians showed up to asians asians were there too right but like my agents showed up and they're you know they're wearing their suits and they're in the back and they're like looking around and they're mean and they're and eight years ago i called them and i said can you help me with this podcast they go well now we we do you know i mean you do that on your own right and you know i feel bad because you know they don't get a cut of anything you know men right and they're you know i think i don't know we're trying to figure it out right there ain't no figuring it out i know we are which i am trying to figure it out don't you figure it out i'm trying to figure it out to see what they can do because i do love them just let me finish let me finish what i'm saying all right let me finish what i'm saying because it's my alpha all right matt my agent right he's been my agent since the 90s right so it's like there is a relationship there but you know a long time ago when i asked for help then they go we do bigger things podcasts are right at the time they were like what are your numbers like we had just started so i go a hundred dollars i don't know you know i made 50 downloads right like no no no right so they didn't help they go you just do that on your own so i did right and now you know it's a thing right and now they'll want a piece of it right so it was just kind of a cool it was kind of not a [ __ ] you but it was more of a this is what i did this is what you could have helped with right and you didn't so now if you want something go get you the mega deal that's what i got off of that that's what i said take this [ __ ] spaceship that i just took out the pluto and take us to another [ __ ] universe [ __ ] right and then you can have it that's what i i had i had him an agent tell me the same thing he's he laughed and said come back when you're making real money and i said that's exactly when i'm not coming back i know that's exactly what i said to them i asked the same i asked my manager i'm like look man if you can help me between this is between the crab feast and the honeydew yeah if you can help me man we can do this and he just wasn't he couldn't and i'm like i got it then i got to do this right yeah then i got to do this on my own i know and i wouldn't have it any other [ __ ] way yeah i know i mean but don't you think that it would have been nice to get help yeah yeah yeah of course it would but in in the in hindsight i'm glad i did it yeah i've learned so much yeah more through doing all of this not just about podcasting stuff but we've had producers do shady [ __ ] and turnover you learn a lot about people you know yeah i just want to say i do my agency i'm not saying you don't thank you you don't even need to say that i wanna though go ahead yeah i i'm i love that you said nothing wrong yeah no i do love it i came so now they got to do something with it yeah so what we said was it's funny because we went there and you know it's a huge build you know the billion you know they have steven spielberg and all these huge names right radiohead or whatever right so that's what they represent right and we're in this beautiful conference room and it was flattering for them to go you know i mean like we want to help you know i mean and it's cool but you can't help but think you know i mean wow you know what i mean where were you where would i i mean yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but i do love them and you know i don't you know thank you for everything [Laughter] so it's weird you know yeah i've been watching you put your foot in your mouth lately yeah i saw the emily [ __ ] on the comedy story dude because i didn't see that first i saw your apology first in person you're like oh my god i saw that and then i saw the clip and i was like okay i want to tell emily this guy i just want to say the reason why i said that emily books for me i know and i love my love i love her my sushi honestly i love her and i have to say this okay then she knows you do by the way deeply and not only that is is that the reason why i did that right so let's say for your audience i was on the comedy store podcast and i lied and i basically said yeah i don't get spots either that much you know i mean i think they only give me spots on a loyalty is what i said right and then i looked in the through the window and emily was in the room right and i go i'm kidding right but the reason why i said it in the first place is so that johnny could feel better because he's not getting he's not getting spots so i just wanted him to feel better and that's what i did to to soothe him i honestly that's what it was you know me because at the end of the day i what i do get spots every time i call in you know what i mean yeah you're there all right so then i felt like a weasel i got more spots than anyone else so i felt like a [ __ ] weasel i felt like a weasel you know what i mean yeah yeah yeah but um i i want to say to emily you know i mean i'll do anything you know that's what you know that's it yeah i apologize you know i'm a [ __ ] weasel am i a weasel no all right so what's up i want to know what's next for you then you're just going to take some time how to let me ask you this forget this how do you heal how do you move on when the person's literally under your roof in the bed next to you how do you move there's no healing there's no healing no because you said you were heartbroken you said those things we're both heartbroken about it so how do you unbreak your heart but over there what was that yeah what's what soothes us is that we have a deep she's the love of my life i believe that and i i know that doesn't mean it needs to be intimate i know i know i love her more than i i can't she's like i'll tell you how i feel about her i feel about her like i feel about my brother you know i mean in terms of like like i'm gonna know this person if she ever needed anything you know i mean i would give her a lung right like that's how i feel about her you know um she's my best friend and um i also love our relationship on our podcast and we work so well together it's such a good yin yang you know it is and it's interesting that you know i'm just sitting here thinking about it now and you guys as a couple your child has been tiger belly yeah you've built that from like you said 50 [ __ ] downloads everybody starts at one download yeah we all started at one yeah and you've built that together and look at it now yeah [ __ ] thriving it's thriving yeah yeah so to to have to pivot in your relationship from this um romantic boyfriend girlfriend couple and to this professional couple and still maintain i think it's pretty impressive i know you're you're still newly into it but well no i mean because if you look at i think the real i think you look at like i don't know what chris pratt and anna faris's relationship is it but it doesn't seem like they're divorced i know i know they're both remarried but i feel like i feel like it's there's some maybe some hostility or ugliness in that relationship right right and i don't ever want to be like that with kalila right so i i i look at other hollywood or like you know two people because you know kalila and i we're you know we're not a regular relationship our relationship is out in the public we're in the public eye right and it puts a different dynamic on the relationship you know i mean and so it's like because we're in the public eye and i i don't want to get resentful i don't want the relationship to sour and and have these deep resentments and this and that so we're mindfully doing it in a healthy way so that we can still have our love all right and still have a business and still continue in that way you know i mean and i and i i think we're doing it if i i you know we talk every night and i you know we about how we feel and what's going on and there's a lot of sadness like i said well that's why i was asking about healing you said there were tears and things yeah i i mean i don't know i mean we're in the process of it i mean i don't know have you ever done that have you ever broken up with someone that you lived with and then stayed with living with them yeah but i've never been in a relationship like this nothing like this i mean every relationship i've ever had was two years and i was out like clockwork like to the day that's what you said yeah yeah yeah and this has been a completely different thing although all my relationships with previous girlfriends have been really great and i love them all you know i mean but you know i you know the only one that i really kind of talk to that's around is sarah highland you know i mean not from modern family but the they're highly yeah yeah but sarah hyland does our podcast she did the live she's very close with kalila you know and um you know yeah i but you know sarah and i didn't see each other after our relationship for years and then it's she got married to somebody jen rosenstein who's a beautiful talented woman and um you know now they're a part of our family you know but um i don't want to do that with clyla i want to keep going and i want to you know i want to see her every day and i want to um we also have seven animals bro damn yeah a lot of atoms yeah yeah we have seven animals that we got during our relationship you know and how do you split them apart right it's it's like having children i love every single one of them yeah i mean deeply yeah you know i mean so it's a it's a hard thing man bud we're figuring it out is that an hour yeah bro that went good huh great did you like it i loved it i wanted to say thank you very much for coming on and talking about that i know it's not easy it's fresh and all but before i get you out of here i want to ask you now after what we've talked about going back to what you know about yourself and everything you've said what advice would you give your 16 year old self there's a lot man um my 16 year old i would say all those things that you think are gonna fix you [Music] you know i mean these goals and aspirations and all these things that if only this happens or this i promise you number one you will get those things and number two you won't feel any different right so get happy now you know because it's and i used to never believe that i mean even as a kid you would hear a great advice people would say you know you know it nothing money or all these it won't fix you and you would go [ __ ] no it will you trust me i'm so stressed out right now you have no idea i don't know how i'm going to eat yeah and those things do alleviate right all these other issues and i'm telling you right now there is really no difference in terms of how i feel you know i mean so it's like i have to do it now you know what i mean and also at 16 i would say like you're gonna get [ __ ] you you'll get it you'll get it you know because i was like hate it you will you'll see a vagina one day right you know i would because if i told my 16 year old son he would cry because at 16 i thought because in high school then no one looked at me i was like a you know a korean kid in an all-white school and not that they were racist or anything like that but i just was not that didn't make you exotic no no no because if i was like if i look like a bts you know i mean a tall kind of a good looking maybe right but i was like small too you know i mean and kind of like wire you know you know yeah you know the wiry and eccentric i guess you know i mean and it's like yeah no i i thought i was gonna be you know i mean an insult or whatever right but i want to look at my 16 years one day you'll see very good ones [Laughter] i love you too bud um promote whatever you like again so bad friends tiger belly and that's pretty much it all right well thank you for coming on everybody and thank you guys as well as always ryan sickler.com ryan sickler on all social media we'll talk to you all next week [Music] [Applause] [Music] you

Channel: Ryan Sickler

Views: 437,579

Keywords: Ryan Sickler, The HoneyDew, HoneyDew, honeydew podcast, Your Mom's House, YMH, Tom Segura, comedy, stand up comedy, stand-up comedy, comedy videos

Id: rSwE4mVnFT8

Length: 67min 56sec (4076 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 19 2022