HOME! Enlightening Our Families With Iman - Shaykh Hasan Ali

bismillah ar-rahman rahim al hamdu lillahi rabbil alameen o Serato sallim ala nabina muhammad o allah and he was a good 9 all the billahi min ash-shaytani r-rajim bismillahi r-rahmani r-rahim la hoya moroccan in a way how come to my energy and Semiramis in raw so doc allahu Nazim dear respected brothers and sisters festus aromatic muhammad allahi wa kitto brothers sisters we come to a day in age that the time is moving very fast and things are taking over us and things are changing very rapidly it took perhaps maybe a hundred years for the age of the camera and photography to establish yourself it took about 30 40 years for the TV to establish yourself it took about 20 years for the satellite era to establish itself it took only probably about 5 to 10 years for the internet to establish self it took perhaps one or two years for the smartphone to establish itself and now today as we speak is probably taking I know it has been created before but with the latest hype is probably going to take a few months for Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies to probably take over the way we pay for things now what I'm trying to highlight from this is that times are moving very fast and sometimes we are lacking behind the basics of what we need to move in such a time with our children our children are equipped with and they we have to we have to stop pretending that our children should have become like us so a lot of the times you will hear parents be moaning and saying that when we were small we never used to do this when we were small we never used to that just forget it Sedona a little bit Lana said he said I would add do come Liz a man in idealism Anna come out come out Ali said that your children are for an age or an era that is different from your era okay and we have to understand this this is the reality they are the children of the internet and they are the children of the smartphone age you cannot hide that fact when we were small we never had all it is fine but our parents would have said to us that they never saw us they never had VCRs they never had satellite dishes then I have never had many other things so we have to understand that we are now with these children and that's a fact and that's a reality bemoaning is not going to change anything so what is it that we have to do I'm going to tell you shockingly that already we've got the the crimes that are being being committed through the smartphone in the last few years has increased from something which was about two to three percent to twenty five to thirty percent what we're now talking about is that the police are dealing with a lot more crime through smartphones than they are with you know what they used to do before right what we also seeing is a massive shift in the way we are communicating with one another yesterday it was it was really you know important for us to have the BT telecom and you know the weekend that was free and the evenings that were free and our uncles and aunts were on there you know from from five or six o'clock or seven o'clock all there till the evening today parents are on their phones literally from the morning till the evening now there is good in this and there is bad in this where there is bad in this is when if we can actually have our own schedule for us as parents and if you kind of schedule in the home and if you don't have rules in place then we will lose ourselves first then our children next and please don't think that our children are going to be lost before us now we lose ourselves first I will tell you right now if you have a rule in your house that you're not going to allow any technologies or let's just say their pads and the phones and the you know let's say smartphones and other things whatever they might be might be TV YouTube because these days even TV has been redefined it's no longer a TV on a wall it's the TV in your pocket it's a TV on your smartphone on your pads and so on so forth so TV has been redefined what it is and we're all in one way watching something or not so I'm going to tell you first is there's a rule that needs to be established which is if you can do this wouldn't be very good Monday to Friday there is no reason why you need to engage yourself in any forms of technology for the house except for homework Monday to Friday there is no reason there is absolutely no reason to for these children to actually play on you know through technology now you're going to tell me that it's a bit harsh that as well no I've established this in my house and I will tell you that it's worked for many years for us and what you do is you replace the time for games with something that the family played together so in my house for example I've got a table tennis of God foosball I've got a pool table I've got you know many board games because it's really nice to actually interact with the children as opposed to being in an individual environment way you've got a pack you've got a joystick in your hand or control in your hand and all you're doing is looking at the screen even if you're playing a multiplayer game you're still isolated to the people that you're playing with even in the same room you're isolated because you don't actually be looking at them if you have a set time table of homework to be done first and then after that you know you have a little bit of games whatever it is and then they go to bed alhamdulillah now in that time Salah is a pillar that should never get compromised I'm telling you that we're living in a time line a lot of parents will pay 25 to 35 pounds tuition for their for their children for math science GCSEs you know whatever preparation it is but you know the the the mosque gets the bad end of the stick okay so if there's a book Islamic book dice to be charged and it's like Yale Law why is that Islamic book being charged for you know why you charge with Islam should be free Islam should be free my friend that Imam also has a home to go to and he's got bills to pay as well you know just for a quick thing what I said to one parent to get their mind over this I said this book is only four pounds and they said four pounds four pounds is a lot - I said okay it's just the same price as a kebab roll the kebab rolls gonna go in your system within within you know maybe 16 hours it's gonna be out okay but this book will give you a new child a lifetime's worth of islamic education so we need to change the mentality now when it comes to actual you know when it when it comes to tuition they will give that but take take a hold of this investment is going in you know yeah you know the eleven plus exams investment is going to GCS is nestled to get your children in the best colleges best university which is good alhamdulillah very good however if you're doing that and at the same time you're you waking them up every morning i will tell you they said let me let me do a quick thick quick thing who generally monday to friday general right now in this whole monday to friday generally you get your kids up on time you get them to school on time if you do that marshall are please put your hands up come on guys you need standard don't don't send the kids to school like hey guys I'm asking you put your hands up high if you get these kids to school on time Nile Allah is good okay that's good that's that's almost all of you now tell me this which parents make sure that when you're getting your kids ready for school on time you make sure every morning that they've also got time for woohoo and fudger within the time of Raja put your hands up now there you go there you go there's about a third of you or half of you that put your hands up compared to the first law that put the hands up this is the reality if you're starting your morning and fudge ad which is third from Allah is not is not you know is something that can get compromised but the schooling time can never get compromised so what Allah has said is is there are certain people yes the hoon I mean an ass while is stuff unum in Allah they they have fear of people there were people but they don't have the fear and awareness of Allah Azza WA JAL and that's not what a large Alto listed to be like like that's the morning let me ask you the second thing which is the night before you know some people have a problem getting of a father even whether it's youngsters or elders and the thing to ask is not why you're having a problem getting up its what time are you going to bed that is the key question if you have gone to bed the previous night before 11 o'clock perhaps 10 o'clock not only have you given your body time to recover not only does your liver get a very good recovery not only do you get good sleep the best part of the night's sleep you will get is between about 10 o'clock and 12 locking it in in the night or perhaps till one o'clock you will also feel refreshed in the morning you will wake up naturally for Tahajjud and you will wake up in the morning and you'll be ready for the day okay now early memories that I've got I want to share with you and I'm sure you've had a grandmother a grandfather or perhaps a father mother who had this and I'm going to share this with you because these were my memories I had a grandmother who when I was young when I was really young she used to sit on the masala she had a whole masala in her little room she had okay she had the heater not right next to her she would sit at the end of the day on a masala she had something called of Aviva okay now before you guys throw me with the bitter and yella Shehu of the fire Allah whatever you wanna call it because in Musa he Muslim certain Sahaba had his and his wasn't the Koran his it was any portion of reading they had and even Rasul Allah son mentioned in a hadith he said Manama and his be he whosoever has fallen asleep and was unable to finish their the collection of recitation in the night then they're able to do it before the whole of the next day there's a sign he hadith in Muslim anyway a collection of reading this grandmother had and she would make sure every night for about two hours she was on the muscle and she used to read it okay she used to rock she used to read it and then she would finish you know and you know those days they probably kissed kiss it as well place it that's what I remember she's to kiss it and she do her touch me he's put it aside and then it was for her she had a little bit of little bit of chat with my mother and I should go to sleep and she'll be offered two hundred my early memories of my father is he would wake me up for him this was when I was about 12 years old he breakthrough for him and he would wake me up and about 5:30 and I would hear him crying after tahajud taking every son's name his daughter's name which is my sister and he would make du'a oh allah make my this sundaes make not that sundaes and he would like to be crying for half an hour office tahajud non-stop every morning i so remember this now these are my memories okay alhamdulillah my memories of my father of my grandmother I'm asking you are we living in age where our children they go to bed but their memory is that I saw my mother on her phone the last thing I saw my father on his pad or one of his computer the last thing okay then our children wake up in the morning and they see the mother asleep with her father asleep or they know that they're getting up but there's no sort of you know deed hardly except for the Salah that is done like what rasool ullah sallallahu some said cannot predict because you can do different forms of Salah you couldn't do a salah that you believe is your last prayer or you can do a Salah which you believe is just the tick-box and you're getting out of the way and I will tell you children know when you enjoy your Salah and children know when you don't enjoy your Salah they really know this they know what your values are if your values are GCS is they know that mum and dad they want me to get my GCSEs more than the hips that they put me through and I know some of us have put our children in halves but they have calculated that they know that as long as I do five Jews lives then it's okay and after that even if I don't keep up with it then they're not going to be so bothered but I better get my you know GCSE he's done I better get my you know a levels too to what my parents were otherwise I'm you know I'm not gonna have a good life all right according to my parents right they know the values they've already measured the values what is it that our children have seen from us that is something to do with the value system and because when I studied psychology I did an MA in psychology one of the things we studied is the parents expectations have a massive effect on the children's expectations they've done tests on parents and have dozen tests on teachers and where parents have got a high expectation their children end up having higher than normal expectations and where parents have lower spectators in any field for their children that children also have a low expectation and this test has been proved again and again from 1968 it's been done again and again and the same results have come back okay now I want to say to you what are our values if I have values of Deen become this and I want to give you a quick summary the value of Deen is all go and get your salad done right if it's just that and the child is doing the Salah but but they don't they never see me do a Salah with who shoe they never see me enjoying my Salah then guarantee the child would go up down up down up down and finish the Salah if I don't do mine now I feel at home if I don't do my sunan at home guaranteed my children would not do Sinan if the mother is wearing a hijab on and off guaranteed that the daughter will be at best on and off with hijab at worst no hijab at all if the father is actually using foul language in the house whenever he gets angry then the children have already put that in the system as bullets to be used next time they get angry and when you start telling the children hey you know you know Moscow get a leg illa you know you start saying well you - good luck you forward then you got to understand that they learnt it from somewhere they learnt it from us and they take these things and when I study psychology there's a whole social behavior system that many psychologists have put down as the children will look they'll see they'll copy there will be a carbon copy of what they've seen that's all it's really not their fault I have seen alhamdulillah houses and it's not just just you know how I've set in my house I've seen many houses where salat time never shifts they must drop everything there and then for Salah now if that's the case I'll hamdulillah you put a massive pillar of the Deen in your house and it's the place it's in his place is good for the parents as well as the children to have the salon never shifting from its place no delays no compromises salah tom has come just drop it and get your salad on satan aroma of the Elana would dismiss his governors if they went slack in their Salah why because he said once you largos many other things will go out of the way and if you look I've seen this in a few cases where a woman's hijab has become loose she used to be very careful how she used to hide her hair whenever she came out and over time over perhaps five to ten years time this mother I saw her and her hijab became slightly loose when I spoke to her family I found out the first thing that shifted in the house was her Salam so what would normally happen is you compromised on your normal feel you then compromised on you soon on so you miss them more and more then you compromise on delaying your fault this is a systemic thing that the Shaitaan takes anybody through so you delay your fault then you start missing your father so sometimes you miss the further it starts with father a lot because you're you know you've slept too late last night you waking up too late this morning and next morning so what happens is father gets shifted first and then Asia begins so you get too tired sometimes for Asia you give priority to things that are not supposed to be a priority and the priority element is a very important thing for the entire family homework time homework okay Imam Shafi rahim allah said this he put it straight he said if you have everything all over the place during the day then you're not going to be able to achieve everything but if you put it categorically in its place then you will be able to get it done Imam Shafi rahim allah had a system where between acid and maghrib he would revise ten thousand a hadith whether he actually recited all of them or he just went over them in his mind he used to go over ten thousand a hadith between author and Muslim if you look at rasulullah sallallahu time is 24 hours you will find that there's a daily system that you had I want to say when kids come home the system should be first you know eat together okay eat together the table talk to one another next what you do is get their homework let them do the homework after that have some time for a bit of Dean here of Dean it only takes five to ten minutes I will ask any family here please get a book called riyad salihin it's a book widely available as a good translation from Darussalam get that book and in the house five to ten minutes never more than five never more than ten minutes and no less than five minutes you sit as a family at seven o clock or something whatever time it is everyone's together open the book let everybody read whatever hadith there is and just read the hadith and just carry on with reading the hadith where you don't understand the hadith put a little marker there come to your local masjid talk to the imam and understand what that hadith was but most a hadith in there are self-explanatory they're quite easy five to ten minutes hadith you've got half solid build Jumeirah so if as a as a father if you're not going to them out to the Masjid and you want to get the discipline inside your house then please have Salah in the House bill Gemara EBU jamar Mayu Stedman our Father Rahim you know what he said he said normally there's a whole debate about family planning but he said in this country this is a 70 year old share that said this to me who was from Pakistan who led his whole life in Pakistan but when he came to this country he saw that he saw the situation and said this he said Hasan he said I believe family planning should be proud of Britain and I said why he said because it's not because of poverty it's not because the people can't afford to have children no he said for one reason simply that we're living in houses that are that will are locked with us and our future Drance if we don't have family planning we will be living with one parent or two parents at their best in a house where Tara BIA was originally done by an entire clan okay entire clans used to deter biet grandfather was there you know uncle was there auntie's with a he said in this country it's such that when the father's outside working is only the mother when the mother and father both have to go out to work it's nobody's a nanny or its you know sending them to one house to another house till they come out from work and he said if people have children and they're not able to just keep in the ministry strata means for me if people don't have you know if people have children and they're not able to have proper Family Planning and they're not able to do the Tobia then he said there is a very clear pathway that their children could go towards cofilin towards disbelief and we've already seen this okay I'm gonna ask you brothers and sisters a very big thing you have to do for your children is sin them to a very good mocked up system okay a mother-daughter system mocked up system whatever you wanna call call it and I wanna I want you to do this you're gonna ask me well which one's a very good mocked up system it's a very simple thing if you want to find out the best school best mothers are best boarding school best local masjid mothers are it's a very simple way to find out don't just go out look for the adverts don't look out for you know who's sending all the kids somewhere no that's not the way to look out for it the way to look out for it is you go to the matter what the madrasah okay and you go at 7 o'clock or you go at the end whenever it is weekend weekday whatever it is when the parents are coming out just go and say salaam to one other parents say how many children have you got in here how many children have you had in here look for the family members that have had their kids in non Moktar for five to ten years or who have graduated from that then ask him a question how was your experience how is your child easy pregnancy allah has he found that the Dean is is enriched inside his soul in his body and so on and if they tell you the stories gather the stories from the local masjid all the mattresses and based on what you hear from the parents after school that's your best way to know what the mother say is doing right don't follow any other advices so and this is the best way to find out like if you want to go to hajj don't just go to the HUD sites now find out someone who went to hajj this year and ask them what would your experience tell us and if you find multiple people telling you that the experience was good with one place al hamdulillah just go with that little column go with that so good marked up system is really important and please I would say these madara's well you've got only three to four hours are not enough in my view if you've got a mother set in the week that's cost seven hours six hours minimum I would say if not seven hours in the week of time that is a good sufficient time if they've got their you know if they've got their things together right if they've got the whole educational system right however once the mocked up system is there our duty is not over my brothers I'm telling you this I've really just got about three minutes left I'm telling you this in my house or hamdulillah my children have to say all the doors allowed you come in the house they allow me as a local mall Maharaja bismillah alladhina not now Allah hero Bennett or Akana he's become a normal thing when we leave the house when when they have food when they finish food when they wake up and they go to sleep all these drawers are there then when I'm taking my child to school early in the morning he has to say his morning draws okay especially color all these drawers in the morning Allah Aman terrible al-ilah and the Holub Thani that hold hua saying Allah may miss a lucrative hit dunya or akhirah that doir and otherwise that rasool ullah sallallahu used to say in the morning he better say them loudly it's in his system it's in his system say the gods apart from that till our and Kira are are two separate things in your Matta madrasah that the teacher is concerned about the Kira don't be a parent whose goal is to finish the Quran from begin to end the Spira Halawa is a continuous recitation that continues throughout the ages with my children with the children that I teach they have made it very clear to the parents that till our care are two different things your child will never finish his Quran with me ever from beginning to end no matter even if he's with me for 12 years that's Kira I will listen to that with hedge weed very slowly but your child at when he's learned to read I will tell him to finish his Quran several times at home and he will not have he will not have a reason to leave the madrasah because he's finished the Quran that must be a partner every day get the tea lava inside the children that you know go away come to you till our there's a page two pages wherever they can do till our is part of life now weekend comes very briefing in one minute we can come to what do you do you have your system with homeworks and other activities and have the windows for them to play with shifts of not more than one and a half to two hours at any one time and if they play their games they've got the games of the console games and other things that they really want to do or they want to watch something they do that but everything must be controlled I will have to say to you look I've done this test again and again I'm not gonna do the test right now one third of parents only one-third of parents who give a smartphone chip to their children have a shared passcode two-thirds of parents have no shared passcode with their 11 year old Lu 10 year old I've done this starts over and over again and it's always come at the same result I'm gonna ask you those of you 66% sitting here who haven't shared the passcode with their youngsters who I don't care up to six in fact in my house I've told my thirteen-year-old he's not getting a smartphone til he's beyond 16 I'll decide what day after 16 I give him his phone okay all his friends in school have got a smartphone but I haven't given but I've explained it nicely to him we've been you know i-i've had to spend a lot of time with him if you're there you're spending time you're playing other games with him you know he's Marshall is very good at table tennis he beats me I have to say that right yeah I beat him in pool right we're probably equal in foosball we have other games I'm you have a laugh so you know the time is filled with other things but he doesn't have a smartphone the day he gets it I'm gonna have his passcode to it right now I've got the passcode to his laptop it's not because I'm spying not because I'm making you know a life difficult is simply because he's too young to know how to navigate himself through life we've given him in dependency we don't go and spy on him but now and again something comes up that he's joined the social network through his pad something and then we have a nice read with him there's no need of scolding him no need of telling our just talk nicely as long as it's honest with us hamdulillah you can take the kids to that dessert my Freddie

Channel: Faith Inspire

Views: 8,507

Rating: 4.9322033 out of 5

Keywords: English Tafseer, Quranic Healing, ELM, Shafiur Rahman, Meadows of paradise, Faith Inspire, Shaykh Hasan Ali

Id: efj2PnmVb8c

Length: 25min 58sec (1558 seconds)

Published: Sun Dec 17 2017