Herschel Walker Flashes Fake Police Badge & BTS Joins South Korean Military | The Daily Show

the FDA has announced that there is a nationwide shortage of Adderall so if you don't have a genuine need for it please save it for anyone who has a legitimate prescription and if you do have a prescription now is the time to sell it at school kids captain make that money in international news the Superstar K-pop band BTS has announced that its members will soon begin reporting for mandatory service in the South Korean military yeah which is great news for South Korea well because their army is basically Unstoppable now there's no army in the world who's gonna be stupid enough to take a shot everyone's a fan enemy soldiers are going to be like ah I just got stabbed by gin this is the last and best day of my life in Tech news Kanye West announced today that he is going to buy the right-wing social media platform parlor because quotes he wants to make sure we have the right to freely express ourselves and thank God because I've been waiting to hear Kanye's unfiltered thoughts on things like you just never get to hear that you guys ever hear of anything else to say so shy so shy all right let's move on to some of the biggest stories of the day starting as we so often do with Donald Trump and I know I know I know when Trump is in the news it's usually because he was caught doing more crimes but this time it's also because of that the man loves to cry what can I say so let's find out about his latest one in our ongoing segment America's most tremendously wanted [Music] foreign you may remember that after he left the White House Trump created his own social media app called Truth social which is basically just Twitter but for white supremacists and before you say wait aren't the white supremacists already on Twitter yes but on true social they're verified now believe it or not believe it or not there might also be a dark side to truth social a whistleblower is now accusing former president Trump's social media company of violating Federal Securities laws will Wilkerson is a former executive at Trump media and Technology Group which launched the truth social platform he tells the Washington Post that Trump's company tried to raise Capital by making fraudulent misrepresentations about its finances the SEC is now investigating the co-founder told the Washington Post the former president asked one executive to relinquish his shares in the company to former first lady Melania Trump and had him removed from the board of directors when he refused what Donald Trump's social media platform was reportedly engaged in Shady Financial gimmicks how it's called Truth social I don't know what to believe anymore oh [Applause] you know one of the most interesting allegations is that he tried to bully one of his board members into giving his shares to Melania which is just so romantic yeah ladies find you a man who will commit Securities fraud for you are you kidding [Applause] you have to admit the shares in truth social are a weird gift you know it almost sounds like Trump didn't remember until the last minute he was just like of course I remembered your birthday Melania I got you I I got true social shares surprise surprise totally love it certainly love it and also the tie I'm wearing the funny thing is truth social is such a failure of a company that she probably didn't even want the shares you know it's almost like when your kids give you that that gift but it's just like a piece of macaroni art for your birthday you know she was probably just like oh so cute you think this is worth something thank you Donna now just to be clear just to be clear though I am totally on Trump's side in the story yeah yeah it's the year 2022. if you go into business with Donald Trump and you are surprised that you got scammed that's on you what were you thinking well I know the last guy that Trump worked with almost got hanged by an angry mob but I think I'm going to turn out fine I I don't know what could go wrong everyone could go wrong but let's move on from Donald Trump to this year's hot new Mini Trump Herschel Walker Georgia Senate candidates and closed captioning's worst nightmare there are a lot of controversies swirling around Walker his attack on absentee parents despite being one his opposition to abortion despite allegedly paying for one his attempt to become a senator despite not knowing how many states America has and in his first debate over the weekend Walker tried to clear up one controversy with a little prop comedy at a debate Friday night Herschel Walker responded to accusations that he has pretended to be a police officer by flashing what appeared to be a fake badge respond to that and you know what's so funny I am with minute police officers in a new interview the former football star says the badge is real he says he got it from the sheriff of Johnson County Georgia Walker clarified it's an honorary badge the national Sheriff's Association said an honorary badge quote is for the trophy case why make the decision not true you know I don't know what's crazy in the story the fact that this man lied about being in law enforcement or the fact that he pulled out a fake badge during a debate during a debate all the fact that the sheriff's Association said that his badge is just an honorary one he said no they're wrong they're totally wrong that's like it almost makes me wonder how many people has Herschel Walker arrested huh is there someone locked up in his basement right now who's just like is this a real present there's a foosball table in here he's like it's an honorary prison foreign does he treat every symbolic object like this like people say I'm an absentee father but if that were true why would I have this world's best dad mug huh not okay Dad not a good dad world's best dad that's official in fact I have seven of these mugs to prove it and some I haven't even received yet you know the saddest part of the story is that there are people who are going to believe that Herschel Walker was in law enforcement because he pulled out this badge this is something I've learned in America if people see it they believe it it's the same way there were people who believed that Trump actually did step away from his company just because he posed next to a stack of empty folders yeah and you're like he's lying people like why would he be lying he's standing next to empty folders would he stand next to them if it wasn't true are you next to empty folders no you're not but it's honorary like Taylor Swift for instance got an honorary doctorate from NYU this year but you don't see her in the operating room like welp killed another one huh all right let's get lunch or try again later yes maybe I'll try brains next time instead of hearts I will say the one upside of this whole story though is there is some good news because this means that Georgia voters don't even need to elect Herschel Walker senator they can just give him a certificate that says honorary senator he won't know the difference he won't know but let's move on to some criminal justice news right now a right-wing militia member named Paul Bella is on trial for hatching a plot back in 2020 to kidnap the governor of Michigan which means every day the jurors have to look at a man accused of an evil heinous crime just imagine that every day staring into those eyes are you turned on no because apparently someone was well a juror has been dismissed from The Trial of three men in connection with the 2020 plot to kidnap Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer she was dismissed by the judge on Friday after attorneys accused her of flirting with one of the defendants now the flirtatious Behavior was described as non-verbal communication in the form of eye contact and smiles between the juror and defendant Paul Bellar while the prosecutor originally pointed out the conduct several others including bellar's attorney stated that they had seen interactions between the two the judge dismissed the juror out of an abundance of caution God damn first of all congrats to this woman for finding a new way to get out of jury duty huh truly an inspiration for us all but I have to say I have to say I'm I'm kind of sad that they kicked off the case think of think of how great it would have been when they read the verdict we the jury sentenced the defendant to life with me [Applause] I guess the real lesson here is that bad boys stay winning this guy is literally on trial for trying to kidnap the governor huh and he's still getting love it's always like this every famous criminal has all these groupies are like is there a necessarial killer oh there was but you chopped her into little pieces so you're single now but I would like to know how this happened how did this happen because when you report for jury duty in America they make you watch a video that expressly tells you what you should and shouldn't do foreign while performing this sacred civic duty it is important to avoid doing the following things reading about the case in the news going like this to the defendant going like this to the defendants going like this to the defendants [Applause] thank you for your service and please don't try to smash everyone watches that video how did that happen all right finally Let's uh let's talk about the latest news in Russia's war with Ukraine if you've been following the war you know that almost everybody has been helping Ukraine fight off the world's worst Botox customer America is sending weapons the EU is sending financial assistance England is sending prince Andrew not your help they just want to get rid of him but it may surprise you to know who has been giving Ukraine their internet service and how close it recently came to going away Elon Musk reversing course the billionaire now says his SpaceX company will continue to fund Ukraine's critical satellite service spacex's starlink internet service has been a vital source of communication for the Ukrainian military during its war with Russia the reversal coming after exclusive CNN reporting that SpaceX sent a letter to the Pentagon warning that it may stop funding the service unless the U.S military kicks in tens of millions of dollars each month musk tweeting this weekend the hell with it even though starlink is still losing money and other companies are getting billions of taxpayer money we'll just keep funding the Ukraine government for free you know Elon Musk is the only person who can do a good thing but in the bitchiest way possible you know I was just like yes I'll just keep helping Ukraine for free tell Elon Musk how to use his money but I will tell you this Elon this is not how you get remembered as an inspiring figure in history all right you're doing a good thing but then you're saying it like that can you imagine if Martin Luther King Jr had this attitude when he was trying to do his good I have a dream I guess because I don't see nobody else having a dream so I guess it's on me I gotta sleep 20 hours a day because these asses don't want to come up with dreams of Their Own people be like Martin you want to go to the club but I can't I gotta go home to sleep cause I gotta have a dream that's some but I guess I gotta do it anyway it wouldn't be the same can I tell you what I think happened here what I think happened here is Elon Musk saw an opportunity to be the good guy and make a lot of money give the ukrainians internet but then over time have the American government step in and pick up the tab yeah but because they said no now he's stuck he is keep losing money or be the who cut off Ukraine's internet and I know some people think Elon is evil but he's not cable company evil come on and I actually get elon's frustration because think about it think about it weapons manufacturers aren't donating missiles to Ukraine the U.S government is paying them so Elon is going well why shouldn't I get paid and also like everyone else I'm sure Elon didn't expect the war to go on for this long you know it's sort of like when you hold the door open for someone right but then other people keep walking through the door so you're holding the door for 20 minutes and finally you let go and then it slams some old lady in the face he's like ah you broke my nose and then your boss runs up he's like you're fired and you're like I don't even work here he's like not with that attitude you don't and now you're an and you're unemployed just because you were trying to be nice all right that's it for the headlines but before we go to a quick break let's check in on the stock market with our finance expert Michael Costa everybody good to see you Michael yeah Monday markets what is happening in the market today I'm crushing it I mean I am crushing it like a 19 year old me used to crush Adderall pills getting ready for the big party I wasn't invited to all right so I also got a hot tip for you okay I got hot tip now the big financial news today is that Albertsons has been acquired by Kroger and if this deal goes through it'll become the second biggest grocery chain in America right after Walmart okay but before we get to that I want to talk to you about that that flirting juror you know in Michigan yeah yeah everyone says she's for I mean that's not flirting you know she's just being nice people people in New York think someone's flirting just because they haven't pushed you down the stairs okay she's just being Midwest nice I'm from Michigan okay I know about I all right was she doing this you know thank you what do you do what do you do you see how good I am at I okay Costa gets the girls eyes wet all right which which technically is crying but it's a very it's a moist eye look Kroger let's get to Kroger Kroger bought Albertsons for 24.6 billion all right now that's before you factor in any coupons they may have had but look this big jump right here this is not when Kroger actually acquired Albertsons and my expert opinion this is when Albertsons implemented self-checkout okay now this saved them a lot of labor costs and that's why the value shot up but what all grocery stores don't realize is that self-checkout it's really just inviting us to steal isn't it you know and it takes people some time to figure that out but when they do it hurts profits and that's what you start to see right here I mean self checkout what I got to know what type of mushroom this is now I don't know how about I just steal it okay Trevor I had a bushel of carrots okay and it's not coming up and it's not coming up and then it's like what's the produce number I don't know the produce number so now I'm spelling it out on the keypad carrots k-a-r-r-o-t-s and it's still not coming up it's just easier if I steal it okay I used to work at a grocery store I I did I was in charge of stocking the orange juice but I got fired I I couldn't concentrate actually I threw a cantaloupe at an old lady I thought she was stealing so but look look everybody look this Supermarket merger it's great news everyone's worried about the price of groceries but now there's going to be less competition and a giant Corporation will have more power than ever to decide the price of food and I'm sure they're going to do the right thing speaking of doing the right thing musk with the internet in Ukraine I love that he's helping Ukraine this is so cool everyone's helping out the U.S is sending weapons Europe is sending money Trevor I assume Africa is sending some of your child soldiers or oh stop stop I can make that joke I have an honorary African bad all right yeah seriously yeah that's not even what the African badge looks like just do the market okay I got a hot tip I got a hot tip if here's my hot tip if you work at a grocery store and you throw a cantaloupe at an old lady you have to be a hundred percent certain that she was stealing all right now back to you Trevor my fellow African Michael talks to everybody [Music]

Channel: The Daily Show

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Keywords: the daily show, trevor noah, daily show with trevor noah, the daily show episodes, comedy central, comedians, comedian, funny video, comedy videos, funny clips, noah trevor, trevor noah latest episode, daily show, trevor, news, politics, herschel walker, donald trump, trump, thrush social, elon musk, elon, kanye west, spacex, parler, ukraine, police, fake, senate, georgia, adderall, BTS, fda, military

Id: YikMbBSPY1w

Length: 17min 42sec (1062 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 18 2022