Heroin Addict On How The Drug Ruins Lives | Minutes With | @LADbible TV

i woke up once and my world was never ever the same and that's when i realized that i was physically and mentally addicted to it [Music] let's go through the first time you took carol yeah it was in 1997 and yeah i met up with someone i knew i'm not going to say a friend you know like an associate a substance that i guess straight away was heroin was put on the foil and i was showing how to smoke that it numbed me to the point of i felt totally totally content i reckon it's sort of going back to being in the mother's womb i should think where nothing bothers you nothing phases you nothing worries you everything is just easy blissful you're almost invincible you start chasing that buzz again you want that feeling and i would say that i didn't run out of heroin at all for the first four months and then after about four yeah between four and five months i woke up once and my world was never ever the same and that's when i realized that i was physically and mentally addicted to it from the moment you awake to the moment you go to sleep you are thinking about scoring the next bit of heroin you're then also thinking where is the money coming from after that i've nicked washing machines that have been outside when you've seen the people get them off the lorries on the little trolleys i've walked off with one of those before i've gone in and just grabbed armfuls of designer clothes designer handbags anything basically you know because i knew different people fences they're called um that could they would buy anything that i got anything at all i served nine prison sentences either for drive mode disqualified or for shoplifting i went through some nasty nasty rattles in there in there when you're sort of detoxing because back then they didn't give you anything to help you sort of come off the most they'd give you was an aspirin and that's not going to do anything if you can imagine your intestines and your bones feeling like they are on fire one minute and then being frozen the next you've got horrible sweat you're being sick you get diarrhea you cannot keep still you've got the twitches your mind is just trying to switch off you can't sleep it's just the worst feeling the worst experience i've ever gone through that's when you start thinking i am not in control of this and then because i wasn't properly clean when i came out within an hour i was taking heroin again i now weigh anything between 14 to 14 and a half stone going back then my lowest was just under 8 stone because you don't eat food you're not staying hydrated i don't know really how the body functions just running on that about 2006 i decided that that being a heroin addict was always going to be my life you just go along with it rather than beating yourself up because you you want to get clean and you can't you throw your hands oh well this is my life you know i'll do this and i'll just carry on in 2008 i was involved in a robbery i was robbed and i thought i'd been punched three times in the back and i'd been um stabbed i remember laying down in the dirt and i could taste ash and dirt on my tongue and out of all the years that had gone past before when i didn't care because i mean i've overdosed many times at that moment something was just in me that this life was so very precious and there was more to life i was hospitalized for that it was a hard time but from that point i never ever have touched any illicit drugs since then all i can liken it to is if you get a computer and you reset it to factory settings so you wipe off everything that there is in there and you've got a blank space to work with that's what it was like for me you know i didn't know what tastes i like i didn't know what smells i liked i didn't know what i liked i didn't know what genre of music i didn't know anything you are literally reset to factory settings and that was an incredibly tough time as well and even now almost 12 years on you know i might get a smell of something or i'll hear a piece of music and and it's like it rekindles a memory that had almost been erased when we haven't got security in our life and we're missing something anybody could become an addict in september of this year i will be 12 years clean from heroin which is massive because my addiction was 11 years long so i'd have been clean longer now than what i had the addiction an addiction is a negative if you say addiction it's always seen as a negative whereas on the flip side of that you can have a passion which is the same drive but if you say a passion it becomes a positive since turning my life around i've become a multiply published author i'm a qualified nutritionist i'm a passionate advocate for animal rights and veganism and i also join on an animal sanctuary i've been one of the lucky ones i've been through all of that abused my body to such an extent i'm still here and i've got no regrets about what i've done who i am what i do now because to have regrets we cannot change it so you have to embrace the good and the bad in your life and just cherish this life you

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Id: ckA80P0uAfk

Length: 7min 20sec (440 seconds)

Published: Sun Sep 27 2020