He Said She Said - Pastors David & Nicole Crank

so does who has a smartphone say me and even if not your online I want you to say me get your phone out this is one message where we want you on your phone go ahead and open up your texting app we're gonna have you text us basically and when it says who are you gonna text you're gonna text would you put up that lower third four is pretty pleased with the information on where to text so they can see this in the room and online so text to who text 99,000 and the very first line the thing you're gonna text to us is he-said she-said all one word and as soon as you text that it's gonna send you back a text you're gonna click on that link and then you can start asking us relationship questions as some people have already done this some people already don't we've gotten some already about being single about being married about what you fight about about being insecure here's the cool thing we are not gonna out you because we don't actually see your name in your issue it text to somebody else no the text goes to somebody else they cut out all the information they might even change the shes Dickies and the he's - she's so we're not even sure and we might flip it back again so you're completely anonymous right but if the person next to you sees that your texting that's a whole different so you can ask about blended families you can ask about kids you can ask about when to have kids you can ask about money what have you been if you were thinking you know I wish I could sit down with Pastor Dave Nicole and talk about relationships what would you ask go ahead and start sending that right now so here's the deal we got some people because they knew about this already so we got some people that and we're doing this all weekend by the way yeah so we're answer different questions all the time it's just can you speak into the importance of praying with each other or for each other and how do you to pray together as a couple and I think I'll start with that number one you know I think it's great if you pray together but most of time I'll pray alone Nicole prays alone we pray together a little bit like we'll pray for a moment over a prayer of agreement the Bible says where any two of you on earth as touching anything would ask the Father in the name of Jesus he'd give it to you so we do that but a lot of times our private prayer Tom I just get uncomfortable praying with her she gets probably got a couple probably because you know first of all how many know you got to repent for all the dumb stuff you did your wife you can't totally be honest in prayer with your praying with somebody yeah we do you know if we're believing God for a house or a car or a healing or or maybe there's somebody close to us who's sick or has a need then he'll be like Nicole we got a pray or I'll grab him and say we got to pray together we might get a text that somebody's got an urgent need so we'll pray the prayer of agreement so prayer of agreement that's Matthew 18 18 and 19 and that is where we come together actually go ahead and turn in your Bible or look it up on your phone while but while you're after if you've sent your text already go ahead and pull up Matthew 18 18 and 19 on your phone and be praying for our multimedia people because speaking of the prayer of agreement they did not they don't know what scriptures were getting ready to tell you because we're in a conversation well thank you honey Wow ding ding ding they know somebody just get some points was that Bhatkar water it's real water we don't drink but however we could pray and turn it into wine perhaps it says I say to you whatever you forbid and declare to be improper Dunlop on earth well that's the amplified let me go with the King James verily I say to you whatever you say shall be bound on earth shall be bound in heaven whatever you say shall be loosed on earth shall be loosed in heaven again if I say to you that any two of you shall agree now that other person that doesn't have to be your spouse doesn't have to be your husband it can be your grandma it can be your best friend it can be your I connect group if you don't have an i connect group go sign up for you one getting growth tract but it can be a friend but if whatever two of you pray on earth touching anything that they shall ask it shall be done for them by My Father which is in heaven so I remember we used to write up contracts and agreements back in the day I think one of the first ones we did was about a car yeah so we take that scripture and we actually make a contract out say we're we've had trouble before sell analysis and so we would like write it out you know whatever it's the father named Jesus give it to us and we'd say we're gonna sell this particular house on this particular date for this particular amount of money and we'd sign it Jesus gives us the power of authority because it says whatever we declare and forbid here he declares them for bid there so we'd sign our own names and then we'd sign the name of Jesus and we date that contract and then we do what the word says because when you are never the Bible says how can two walk together except they be agreed that's why it's important that you don't marry a project come on somebody ought to say man - that right there I'm gonna get him safe probably not I'm gonna get her say probably not there's gal vation and then there's salvation come on somebody so I've seen guys get saved go to church act right but they weren't right so if you really are wanting to marry the right person so you don't have that 50% ratio 50% of all marriages in a divorce by the way besides that 20% on top of those second marriages they fail as well because it's not grounded on the word so one of the things me and Nicole still do to this day we will not fight and we have intense times of fellowship for a moment but then we get right back in and we'll say you know what question that just came in and said who should apologize first in an argument especially when I know I'm not wrong I know he has a lot of practice and apologizing when he's not wrong so I'm gonna let him take this question yeah well I will answer that but first I want to say that what the Bible said about said the servant of Lord must not strive so if me and Nicole get out of the will of God and we're fighting with each other the Bible says don't let the Sun go down on your wrath in other words don't go to bed mad if you go to bed mad you're probably not gonna wake up glad and the enemy keeps working all night and it'll stop the harvest that you need so for us it takes about a quarter of a million dollars a week to run this ministry so it doesn't take me but about two days to get back in love with Nicole because I know we're gonna go broke and I don't want to go broke I don't want to run our lives so I don't want the give place to the devil because the Bible says when you give place to the devil he comes to do what to steal to kill and destroy so immediately the best polit and this works because your prayers are hindered when you get in strife but also is just a better way to live so I'll just go to Nicole say hey you know what I was mean earlier I was too sharp I was too upset and then she speaks into my life she told me are some stuff a couple times today she calms me down because I'm a choleric if you haven't been to growth track you should and you kind of figure out who you are so she'll tell me how you down there whatnot and that helps because when I was younger I'd get mad like who are you my mother no you don't know a wise person receives counsel come on raise your hand even if you don't agree with this is the Bible so that's one of the things the longer that you're married you get to know somebody better so you should be better at being married we are better at being married now than we were 10 years ago and we were better ten years ago than we were 10 years before that because we've been married 20 else you see that she been doing 20 come on so give it up for Nicole little maybe 20 years so I remember back way back at the beginning I remember one time we were dating there was one fight it kind of erupted it was dumb and like we almost stopped dating like right then yeah and we made it through that and we still reference that time and whenever we disagree it's like we don't want that anymore so we've learned so if you're dating how many people right now if you're single say me raise your hands so you can spot each other you might want to look around single I wanted to know who it is keep your hand up thank you make sure you go to coffee or a hot cocoa after service yeah what guys in here single and has a job that's my next question cuz I'm the dad of a lot of these girls out here okay but that's the one thing I can encourage you to do like faster if we had done this faster and I think it would have been better for us is to really work on getting to know the other person because it's easy to figure out what ticks people off but it's harder to figure out what makes people tick and we like to press the hot buttons when when somebody makes us mad oh well really you're gonna bring up the fact that I'm nine feet tall well let's just talk about your insufficiencies right now and we just come back right but it even says in the Bible do not return railing for railing and that is so hard but 20 years in you start figuring out it's a lot easier to bite your tongue than to worry about divorce or figure out you know okay I just took three oops down into a hole and I don't know how long it's gonna take me to fill that hole back up so really one thing I can hurt you to do is really work on getting to know your person better cuz I know we do the love languages so one of the things we do in growth track is the personality profiles so you learn about you but if you haven't done a love language I connect which is the book right here even if you don't do it you need to read it it'll change it for real I'm not over promising it'll change your life it changes even the way I think about things because what is your love language well I kind of like physical touch after 10 o'clock baby you like touch before 10 o'clock mom just saying really if you have littles in the room yeah this is a grown-up message as a grownup top some of these questions are technically sexting as I'm reading so now might be a really great time to introduce your littles to faith kids unless you want to have conversations after but anyway the love languages you can't fill up somebody else's love tank the way you want to be loved that was a big thing for me to learn because I'm not words of affirmation I'm acts of service and so I would go around a lot of times half ticked off at David you look after Duff right now that's my resting face I would go around so many times half ticked off at him because he wouldn't help and that was my love language was would you please just help me I have so much to do I'm working so hard and you're sitting on the couch and I didn't feel it and yet I would gripe at him instead of filling up his love tank by saying thank you for helping it's so important to me you do such a good job loading the dishwasher you kill Jim drag on I think the Scriptures do I want to go to is Mark 3 verse 24 it says if a kingdom divided against itself that Kingdom cannot stand if a house is divided against itself the house cannot stand and if a house is divided split into factions and rebellion against itself that house will not be able to laughs so I think that what she's saying here just telling Lots up with that that you can't be divided among you know amongst yourself just be very communication in the name of the game just like second ago she said hey you kind of look like you're ticked off right now I didn't realize that now I started smiling because I mean let's look at a ticked-off guy right so you look happy so that's a communication is everything how you communicate especially when you're younger and it depends on the person's personality again it's a five level language when you find out the temperament like my dad was a choleric that was the main thing I think I'm cleric but I'm real hot sanguine as well so that means I can get stuff done I can make something happen I can lead an organization but I'll be like hey we're gonna change the world but first where did I put my car keys because I don't know but my dad was like choleric cleric and those guys are the kind of dudes that are like you can't tell them anything and so you have to be know that about yourself if you're a cleric you got to go hang on before I speak I'm gonna calm down instead of learning how to communicate that's the name of the game and we've talked about in previous stuff you can look up on YouTube as well communication sex and money we had a love for INSERM in about why during the love for we've done balancing your marriage we've done a lot because we know that marriage is so important we also know that you finding the right person is so important and then also being the right person because you don't I think sometimes we just pick people for the wrong reason you're like oh he looks good but is he good or she looks good and you got to make sure that the person sure you got to be attracted to them but at the same time beauty is only skin-deep probably you know but ugly is to the bone somebody that's not good so that'll just divide somebody said in here a second ago you know if I've got it if we've got it we're in a dating relationship and things get difficult we're actually thinking about counseling in a relationship before we get married you know if you need counseling now you're gonna need a divorce attorney later because what you don't like about a person before you're married you're gonna hate about them after you are married like if the fact that they I feel like she's throwing a little dig at me right now I'm just telling you just another slightly annoys you after 20 years of that you're gonna be like well you choked if I give you a whole sandwich in one bite so you just have to know you know you want to look for that person who you feel completes you who you feel draws the best out of you so if you're in counseling in a dating relationship they're probably supposed to be your friend you're not supposed to spend that much time together that you get on each other's nerves and just think about it whatever time you're getting to spend together right now you're getting ready to spend a bunch more time together and if that scares you and makes you sweat just take a step back and relax and the other part it might be timing you know maybe the timing in your relationship right now is just there's too much going on with school or work or life or kids and it's got you too much on edge so you're not comfortable being the real you just yet maybe once life calms down or you get into a new season of God or they get into a new season of God maybe in a year or two you won't get better I don't think you see a lot of times I see people they're like oh my gosh I gotta get married you know I was married and got divorced and now you know my biological clock is ticking I don't know what I'm gonna do you know I'm 19 I had chill but then the same thing happened I'd say that just to get the reaction but the fact is people that think hey you know I've got to get married now or you know I've got to do this now if I don't I'll never have kids God's got more than one way of bringing a family into your life I mean we celebrated Christmas yesterday with Austin if you follow us on Instagram you'll see I'm hugging him and loving him he wasn't my son I didn't get in till I was seven but it doesn't make it any less real the love that I have for him the love he has for me so God's got more than one way I mean I don't know why you had to like change baby diapers and go through the terrible twos but the Lord loved me and gave me him when that was all done come on somebody and so we embrace each other so blended families a important part of that aspect as well well and who in here has kids and loved their kids say a nice strong amen it's half of them who in here haves kids and loves their kids and can attest to the fact that kids never made your marriage easier so if you're worried about having kids or if we hear this sometimes well we're having trouble in the marriage so what we're gonna do is have a baby oh come on somebody get a puppy you you can always put that bad boy on Craigslist come on somebody but a kid you're stuck with this dude if you are slightly miffed at your man don't get on the labor table because you will want to kill him what did you do to me and why did you do this to me and then you go through an entire year of not sleeping so you're at your worst for a year so if the relationship isn't solid kids are what you add to the relationship after you're rock solid in the best point of your relationship if your relationship is shaky at all press pause on that because there's there's one thing that I'm thankful of is see David's just a better man than I am I hope so because you're not a man person I am because I had a son and he's had to deal with my son's biological father and he's done a great job he made him his friend he didn't make him an enemy he did his best to make him comfortable he did his best to give him compliments when Austin was around instead of you know putting down the other guy he did his best especially in front of Austin's dad to build up the other guy and David was married before and he didn't have any kids and I just say bless God because I'd probably gone to jail for assault I mean I just don't know how I would have handled that or if I would have handled it well and I think a lot of times God doesn't give you what you know you're not he knows you're not gonna be good at and I think too though that was the weird spot sometimes you know what we're doing right now is not necessarily breaking down bible scriptures we could give you a load of those and certainly can but what the Bible says his wisdom is the principal thing so I know it was weird sometimes because Austin it had to be weird for him because he would call me Papa when his dad went around and then it was dad would come around he would call me Dave and we never really talked about it but I would notice the switch and when he first did it I'm like oh okay but I had to get over that real quick cuz it's like what 20 years ago or whatever nineteen years ago and then as that went on I finally ended up telling him I said hey listen cuz I thought he might be uncomfortable because I could sense it so I would just always communicated with them and I said Austin listen I understand you're the you have the coolest life in the world you've got a dad that's unbelievable I know nothing about sports your dad is the sports expert okay I can teach you how to flip houses I can teach you how to do this and then the other but you're so blessed you have two dads I mean you got two great dads so of course I love when you call me papa it's know I love you when your mama calls me Big Daddy but that when he comes around you can just call me Dave and that broke the ice so when he would see me we didn't after that conversation was over cuz there was this awkward conversation gee I always felt uncomfortable disciplining him as well or at least that's what I blamed it on you feel uncomfortable disciplining your daughter too yeah so I guess that doesn't hold up well I'm a softy I talk big but my bites not dead being aggressive hey they have a question about sex okay little make Ashton happy I figured that I was we were kissing today for a minute we kicked the dog cuz he's right there and so the dogs like really like really kiss him for a second she's like really guys I'm right here like we got a privacy fence of this puppy so we'll just make it really so but they used a lot better word they said intimacy how do you maintain intimacy with your spouse on a spiritual level which I'm not really sure what that means after having children but intimacy to most men means sex and I will you have to be married for 20 years I will just tell you men are happier when they have sex men amen this is your time boys don't look at your wife later if you want her to know just say it come on it's time to communicate say yeah trust me that's the way guys are though yet understand people also sometimes guys feel weird or women make guys feel weird sometimes about sex God made men want to have relational intimacy with women and the reason why because he knew to have you here how many y'all glad you're born right now but if it hadn't been the most fun thing in the world your dad would have never done it he never took out the trash he never did much you guys don't do that but God made it incredible so that God's would want to read recreates procreate so that's part of the reason why it's in there so never feel weird about that also on the intimacy side of things I think I understand what the lady's saying is like I think on the spiritual intimacy is that it is sometimes women I've noticed something there's Christian women can drive men away if gasps typically aren't as spiritual as women okay they're more that my dad always told me this he said women will always be more spiritually sensitive than men because they're just that way girls are more sensitive guys are not sensitive in fact a lot of marriage problems stemmed from girls trying to make guys too sensitive I wish he just thought like me I wish he just understood me well then he would be your girlfriend and it would be weird this is a man come on somebody ought to go you got a man and we're gonna work on him being more sensitive that's what we're saying right now but you cannot expect him to be a girl so if so keeping that balance so sometimes I think people women sometimes put too much pressure on guys spiritually like you're supposed to be the spiritual head of this house why don't you pray why don't you do this and that drives him away and now especially with pornography back in the day you had yet to pay for porn and water was free but now it's in Reverse so I'm seeing the enemy come in and ruin intimacy which intimacy really if you break it down this into me see so now the woman won't allow you to see what's in her heart and you're wondering why and it might be that you're offended or he's a fitted and that's why the Bible said a brother offended is hardly to be won in a walled city so you got to get those fences down and say you know what I forgive you you're a guy that's what it is Nicole forgives me all the time just for being a guy she's like you're a guy it's just the way you think that's a guy that's what you think I mean when we first got married she came over to my house I owned a house and she came over and my cabinets looked clean my countertops look clean but if you move she went to move the sugar and it was like it wouldn't come off the counter I clean that kitchen right then they on pause so again guys and girls think differently so and that intimacy thing I think we hopefully we answered them well in men you know the average couple spends four minutes a day alone in some type of meaningful conversation or affection and affection to a guy and affection to a girl or two different things and I'm trying to think of the right eight letter word to use in place of this one but guys to women the best precursor there's a good word the best precursor to a time of intimacy is affection if you want to get her interested in sex because sex the guy is like eating so my girlfriend's I mean really they want to do it every single day or they think they're gonna die the guys look so scared I mean just be vocal hi and listen keep going I lower your Sam but I want to pause here communicate before you get married have you been married before I see guys all the time I prenuptials and you'll see some of these rich guys marrying younger girls which is totally you know that's whatever I put there that's one of the cause pet peeves but I see it up prenuptials they talk about you know what is the relationship going to be so I think it's very important right up front if you don't like sex tell the guy I really don't like sex and then you know he might say hey I don't either or but when we understand yes you can see our relationship is really open we're this way with our kids do we talk about all this stuff cuz if you don't think your kids know about sex or hear about sex they're hearing it for the school okay so they need to if you hear from school you'll be a fool if you hear from church that'll change their life they'll get proper balance if they hear it here in front of you so we talked about all that well and that's one reason we purpose kiss in front of our kids is because we want a model for them that a good healthy relationship now we don't walk around in front of our kids naked or anything weird you know that was WOW I'm not sitting straight across from Ashton tomorrow because I'm seeing Harlan well you know we don't we don't sit and put her tongues down each other's throats in front of our kids but it's healthy for our kids to know that mom and dad love each other it's healthy for them to know that we're comfortable with each other it's healthy for them to grow up knowing that parents are supposed to have a physical relationship and then we communicate to her you know this is what a marriage relationship looks like this kind of relationship can't happen correctly outside of marriage if you have a relationship outside of marriage you actually mess your marriage up because you bring most of the time we don't get it right how many of you are not married to the person that you dated at fifteen raise your hand so we we go through several people as we're finding that right mate and if we slept with every one of them we would be bringing a ton of soul ties into the relationship now you know I was married before I had an Austin I was married before I got to David I had my fair share of baggage bring coming into the relationship he was married before he had his fair share of baggage coming into the relationship but with God everybody say with God so we started dating and on her very first date he went to kiss me and I said hold up bucko I just want to let you know I am celibate and I am gonna be celibate until I get married most of what when you want to get married we were married by the way but I just I just told him right up front I said if you took me out tonight cuz you thought this is how I paid for dinner you're confused and I'm sorry if I misled you and I just want to make that obvious for you right now and so I set it up because I didn't want to screw this relationship up I saw something in him that I wanted to pursue and and he was a godly man and he was after God so that's something that I wanted to keep right so in order to get my chances with him really good I had to make sure that I like kept myself cool and and we we were out with other people and we didn't set ourselves up to be alone and we put these hedges in place in our relationship so that I could actually get it right one time in a row come on give it up for Jesus in his word there are club cautions 3 verse 19 it says married men Colossians 3:19 they may or may not have this married men be affectionate toward your wives and do not treat them harshly so Paul said be affectionate toward your wife I forgot isn't affectionate while you're dating don't expect it when you're mating so be affectionate the guys just like make sure it got smart I tell my daughter this I told my daughters of the house I told drave this when she was thinking about marrying Daniel I told Morgan this what she's thinking about marrying out guys Billy I said hey what here's the way this rolls if you want Billy to cook make him cook now if you want Billy to vacuum the house Billy's vacuuming the house now I tell that to my daughter if you want some day when you go to get married if the guy's rude he's gonna amp that up 10 times so how is he gonna be affectionate towards you when he's unaffectionate now I don't really think that that it's important to open a door for the girl when you're dating I think it's important to open a girl the door for the girl 20 years later when you're still dating her because if you're ravished with your bride if you're in love with your wife then automatically those walls go down so then when you need what it is she said you needed earlier well then you've actually got money in the bank because if not women feel devalue they feel like that's the only thing you want for me and so for them it's totally different wiring than a guy I think I might have sent a picture I don't know I mean out of but I had a guide to a woman's logic I puts in a picture and and what men understand about women they may put it up there so there it is so there's so women are wired different than men are and so until the gossip most most of relationship books 98 percent of books that are that are read about relationship are read by women 98 percent because men don't really put much thought into it my dad never read about a book about relationship therefore I only saw what was modeled in his relationship and just because somebody's been married for 20 years or 50 years doesn't mean that they know how to be married they might have been told to do you know growing up that you know you go to hell for it for that they might have thought it would ruin their relationship for that there was a million reasons why but if you're gonna do life together church is the place that you get it so you can get information and get wisdom so you can enjoy your life because we only have so many Christmases left I don't know how many you've got left but make sure you're with the people that you love and make sure you love the people that you're with come on somebody ought to say Manna Dey be affectionate and we're about at a time but here's a great question that just came in how is it possible to be honest with my significant other as I promised to be when I know the answer that they want is gonna hurt them or upset them and my if somebody asked me that question over coffee I would encourage that person to be honest the first three rules of public relations which was one of the things I majored in in college was tell it all tell it fast and tell the truth those are some of our early conversations were about our history Austin and Morgan when they first started they real-time hashtag real talk they asked all the hard questions before they officially started dating what's your history who have you been with how long were you with why'd you break up with who have you been physical with they asked all the hard questions right away because the longer you tote this around it's a secret and now you're afraid that the secret is gonna get out and the crazy thing is secrets have a way of getting out so it's a lot better just I mean it the Bible says to tell the truth in love you know we have no idea what the question is if it's about a indiscretion or about your past or you know they might be saying hey should I go get my hair line filled in or I should I get one of my curbs made different and you are passionate about the yes but don't know how to break it to them tell the truth in love but tell the truth because what will happen is something will pop up on Facebook or a friend will have a conversation and now they're gonna feel like you weren't honest with them and they're gonna feel like you can't trust them so I would just encourage you but I'm a person I hate to be lied to so I probably you might have a little different view but my thing is tell it all tell it fast if you tell it all there's nothing left to tell there's nothing left for them to find out tell it fast don't give all the gory details tell what needs to be told and tell the truth that way nothing else is ever gonna crop up you know I think too that when people realize that you're on the same side they that changes everything when you're sometimes a girl marry a guy think I'm gonna change him the gas thinking I'm never gonna change and you got this going forever so I think the best way really it's really going back to when you go through growth track connect with God you start talking to God and the Holy Spirit will tell you all the time he's just tell me don't don't do that you're talking too much you were rude you need to change that anybody in here ever just wake up some days you don't know why you're mad you're just mad I want to see here or like I'm just a man and so I ask you what's wrong you like I don't know I just woke up man I'm mad have you ever been going through the day and you were happy but then something set you off and now you're mad so now you go home and you're mad at work but now you go home to the people that you love and you're mad at them you wouldn't been at work cuz you're like I'm a professional at work but I'd go home and that's where I just grunt I'm articulate on the stage but when I get home I know you need to communicate and when you communicate with love realize that you're on the same side it also makes you better corporately because you know and we do this with our families as we kind of wrap this up as I said I think when it and this is why you got to marry the right person and then right now you might be sitting here today man I wish to God my significant other could hear this they're not a christ-follower one some of you that are not married no that's a problem don't make that mistake somebody said up here you know other person wants to go to the other church if you filled your called here and you feel like this is your church or you know I don't know where they're from but if you feel like that's where God called you then if you're what you compromise to keep you'll lose so some people say I'm gonna just go to his church so he's Catholic he's Baptist Presbyterian let's say if I was what I am when they call married me and that's when our real talks were happening I said hey I'm not a horse I'm a zebra so I look like a horse but I'm not really a horse in other words I am a zebra you can't change my stripes so I'm not really doing what I'm called to do right now but some day I'm gonna do this and I told her what we were gonna do and by god we did it but at the time I wasn't doing what I'm doing now which is really kind of cool cuz we built together so I don't have to worry so many of my friends are successful like I wonder if she's marrying me because of because I live you know I didn't marry her because of it she didn't marry me because of we just did it together and that's fun but knowing that the person is really for you and they love God and they're called to the church because a church is not some place that you go because well this is close to home as a dumbest reason in the world that's like marrying somebody because she went to your school okay there's a big big thing called the Internet okay so you can get people globally around the world so you can't find the Church of your choice you go where the Lord calls you to go and they either come with you or they don't and if you start compromising now you'll compromise later so you got to be real about all that stuff so when our family talks and we do that and I want to encourage you to do that one if your husband or wife doesn't come here you just keep doing right because it's right and eventually they will be the Bible says they will be won over by your good behavior so you know I know some people here that they've prayed for years for their husband to get saved and he didn't show any signs of changing and then one day he just did because he kept testing her to see if she really was going to stay true to what God's called called her to be or him to be so do that then back to if in an ideal situation like ours all our family is together and we talk about everything so we're so open sometimes even in meetings like our executive team was meeting the other and so he got our teams in Florida people are on Scots and somebody had something to say that's not a family remember and they had something that they had said that that bugged them or something about side decision I had made they had said that to Austin and some other people so Austin so knows that I'm so open to correction that he said oh so what so tell tell PD what you said and the person said I don't think it's the time or the place and so I knew that the person was really nervous so I just used it right away did I made sure that this wasn't happening that resting face that I get sometimes you know your annual review is coming up soon but no it's not so I make sure your body language is down no no let's just say it I want everybody to know they could say anything anytime and what they had to say was really very try it wasn't a big deal at all I said help me I'm sorry that's not what I wanted cuz I never want to be a leader and you never want to be a dad and you never want to be a boss you never want to be a person who knows it all you want to be alert at all and so having your hands down saying hey talk to me I need to know then here's what it does it doesn't make people disrespect you it makes people respect you and then the culture in your home and the culture corporately is one that everybody's open because everybody respects each other nobody was dead he can't be like I've seen this with preachers some there's a preacher I'm thinking up right now that his family like totally Punk's him on social media no Mike I would kill you guys just so you know I'd kill you anybody had parents that almost whipped you for something some other kid did if you ever did let me show you what I would do if you talk to me like so so it's just but my whole family it's never a problem like I just can't believe that because we all honor each other well respect each other are we perfect no do we get mad at each other do we get angry yeah but Austin a couple days ago we had a some kind of meeting going before a meeting we have a lot of those and Austin said hey I don't see it your way here's what Papa Papa and I didn't get sometimes I'll say hey you know I'm totally wrong there or I'll say hey here's the reason why we got to do that because there has to be as we close ahead the house okay so that's reason why you got to be right with the Lord as the head of the house you can't be like hey yeah I'm the head of this house well you're not praying you're not going to church you're not tithing you're mean so if to be the head you have to qualify as the head which is to love your wife as God loved the church and God died for the church and you won't do the dishes for your wife I knew we'd get quite there but I'm gonna that's it so we have to we earn that right to be the head okay and then being the head is not something like I'm the head of this house most of guys that say that I'm pretty stupid first of all you never ever want to say that anyways just unwise I always make jokes like you know I'm the head of our house but Nicole's the neck okay so you never want to be that kind of person because you're not trying to be the head you're not trying you just do what you do and your family will follow you as you honor the Lord and then as you and the devil comes just remember the temptation is for you not to go to church I don't know I mean we have 2,400 seats in there no no that's probably less than 500 people here we're 2,000 people at well they were here at Christmas but that's why their lives are jacked up they see us and they go all my life screwed up we're getting ready to give them for us go to church I'll see you next year our money's messed up were jacked up can you please pray for me when's the last time you went to church last Easter okay no we can't pray for you obviously I'm joking we do pray for them we pray I please give them a brain and make you said your word God that you forsake the assembling of yourself together when the evil day does represent in the house of God one day then spend a thousand elsewhere thought you said if any man lack wisdom okay I sense that right now God you would give it to them liberally so I pray prayer scripturally just to slap you upside the head so don't if you don't go to church you won't grow okay so you got to go to church and then you grow in church that's why the Bible says for me and my house we will serve the Lord somebody ought to give gob pray that went fast and I know we're over but I just want to spend Saturday night if I need two minutes raise your hand two minutes it's Saturday night that's on Sunday we're gonna be running like 26 minutes it's why you guys come hard but since he brought up submission and men being the head of the house sometimes there's a woman that can feel like a pill to swallow and sometimes that pill feels like one of those vitamins that you're like you want me to swallow would because who does not like being told what to do right so nobody really likes being told what to do and that's the first thing that jumps to a woman's mind is you want me to submit like what I have to do everything he tells me to do and that isn't what submission means but submission isn't submitting until you have to truly submit well what is submitting it's doing what you do not want to do with the attitude as if it was your idea to do in the first place and so it it doesn't boil down to that that often but a marriage relationship isn't 99 and 1 it's 51 and 49 but it's that 1 percent of the time when ladies it's our job to trust the head of our house and know that he's leading us the right way and I'd say probably as often as maybe once a week but we work together and live together and when you work together in living together it's like dog years of marriage we've been married 20 years but it's like 140 because it's probably at least once a week that he said well that's what I want to do so that's the way it's going and I know the course has been set it's clear sometimes he says I want to pause there and say if you're a dingbat and you've done dumb move after dumb move after so when she said hey this is what I want to do it's not like this is what I want to do and I'm gonna do it and I'm gonna spend all our money or put us in bankruptcy or put us at financial risk for our kids or make an unhealthy decision or or start dating a woman or you know I'm gonna have that cute secretary anyway stupid so you have to so you earn it see what I'm saying guys you earn it see what I'm saying girls you earn it so it's it's easier the more track records you have so leading this organization we've you know not bragging but we've done a great job made a lot of right decisions so when we're doing that we have some equity said okay I feel like we're supposed to chart I started Church in Florida everybody went for it I said I feel like God's telling us to start a church in the first enforcement area it's gonna cost us a lot of money it's gonna be this that and the other but nobody was scared everybody knew hey this is the way he feels like the Lord's leading us and be able to say you miss it okay obviously we're way over on top as a woman that can be hard a hard thing to really just reconcile in your mind is when you're single your word is the final authority so you know in a place Ecclesiastes 3 it says there's a time for someone at a time for even there's a time to be single enjoy that time but here's one really cool thing about David because I told you Jose something is strong maybe even once a week as well that's the decision I made so that's the way we're going sometimes he says it nice sometimes he says it's strong but the Bible also says submit yourselves one to another right and that's where the 5149 if he makes a decision he allows me to speak into it so it's it's rare and I know I said once a week but we probably make a thousand decisions a week so one out of a thousand decision is the trump card out and say I think we need to go this way and actually he has to probably tell me three different times in 3 nice ways that I've probably missed before he pulls that I always try to lead not by saying this the way we're going even with the employees I don't say Adrienne works for me drew works for me I say when I introduce um I go hey drew is one of the guys I work with see what I'm saying you always want to make people this will make you a better leader I don't say hey this way I try to make it other people's idea and then I also capitulate all the time I'll ask her to dance in a voice text and I said I but for us I'm getting ready to leave in voice text before I hit Send on this just see if I'm too hard because I knew I was mad I knew that it was erroneous information and I knew that it was stupid I shouldn't be dealing with this but I also knew that the devil tries to get me aggravated said before a preach so I said hey Dan out of that and I said hey is that okay and she said what did you say so I hit sin but you never want to be that person who's out of control that makes sense guys I don't know way over I know but it's Saturday night trust me these people don't care that's why they come on Saturday night because it's a buck Wow how many all got time for another I got one that's important okay Nicole I want you to answer this one probably how do you rebuild trust after a spouse has an affair that's it that's a big one that's a fair question I went through so I went through rebuilding trust several times in my last marriage and every time it was broken but that's not the way it works out all the time there is actually somebody on staff who has shared their testimony on television on the big screens they were married they got divorced he had had a child with another person out of wedlock they are married again and they've been married again I don't know for like eight years or something like that and they're really happy and they actually this this other child that has now been brought beautifully into their family I was talking to this person the other day and they told me I don't I actually don't know what we would do if we didn't have this child in our family this child brings us so much joy so you can go back into the relationship it is possible to forgive and I can't say forget because it's always somewhere in your memory but it is possible to truly forgive and to not forget but release and one of the things I noticed that people have done successfully is they've always held themselves really accountable so like hey here's my phone anytime you want to look at it look at it I don't have two phones I don't have any phones I got one phone none of my devices have anything on it that she can't check my kids I'm talking my daughter in love she checks my phone everybody checks my phone it's just an uneven suspicion why I'm just not nervous so just don't be nervous just be like hey whatever I said I'm sad because we've seen stuff politically recently come out it's just she never you know at the end of the day most the time you don't get by with stuff it's better just to come out with it then she said tell it tell it tell it fast boom so there so in a relationship hold yourself accountable and then if you are the person who was betrayed the enemy always tries to bring that out so Nicole's always advised people I've noticed over the years when some of them take him right now but couple and she's like honest I'm nothing I can forgive him and so now I don't want to have relationship with him then she said that's the biggest way to get in trouble so if you have been with an unfaithful spouse and they are repentant which is not you want to get back with them because you like the house which is not you want to get back with them because you don't want to get a job which is not you want to get back with them because you don't know how to explain it to the kids and that you you're pretty sure they're gonna remain unfaithful if you true if that person is repentant they're sorry they got themselves in a bad way the best way to make sure somebody does not cheat on you today you know what that is have sex with them before they leave the house that's what she told the lady I remember when she told this to one lady one time and I can see a lot of people don't agree with this but you got wrong information because you're getting it from the world so I mean right now we have offers by NBC ABC CBS and Fox for a ungodly amount of money to do this right here every day one hour a day every day on all those networks in fact they just resigned yesterday they were harassing us talking to the business because what's working what was working for for our constituency it really doesn't work is just a word Jerry Springer dr. Phil nothing against those guys with Jerry maybe but a lot of insurance if you ever get an invitation to go on there don't okay but these these programs they're giving you worldly philosophy and worldly advice and so you're here in the world more than you're here in the word so what Nicole gave was the word and the word says when a brother offends you if they do a 490 times a day forgive them as your father has forgiven you so if you forgive them and you do what she said to do that woman came back she said oh my gosh I never had any more trouble out of having years and years later he was just on the straight in there we actually went out to eat with him and I said how you guys doing he's like oh my god I'm exhausted man I don't know what I just know I went to the right church I tell you that yeah that's what he was saying and I mean guys again don't say I don't want guys to feel bad for needing to have sex don't feel bad you got to communicate I will tell her I'll be like hey you get busy you get tired and I hate to ask this sometimes I've been too tired to have sex but I knew I needed to have sex and she was patient with me while I tried to have sex we won't have time for that this is what happens when you guys pushed me to go 17 minutes over I start saying jump on Saturday night then I lay in bed tonight thinking about why did I say that Saturday night I don't know what your deal is but we'll communicate because sometimes you need a half time she said sometimes you need to have something I've got up and had a drink of water she's like hey you know do what you got to do what's wrong god no but this keeps people healthy right this keeps relationships and that's the thing I don't get embarrassed talking about this stuff because if we can share something you know of course rated PG at worse but if we can share something that keeps somebody else from going through the pain of divorce have it have it all happy you don't have the conversation see each other now you have the conversation to somebody else because the next person has all the same problems maybe different problems at least she knows my deal at least I know her deal right I mean by the way as we're closing relationship as we're speaking of right now only gets better when you know each other I'd say you know we all say something she'll be like something I don't know I don't even know what conversation Megan now but just different stuff she'd be like hey you know that girl over there yeah that girl see that girl my guess pretty she's pretty in she you don't want a lot cuz in you ruin your reputation you're like no I don't think so just tell ya that did see her she was pretty she goes just so you know she's probably she doesn't know what I know that girl she it take 20 years to get somebody to know what I know you know what I know like I know I know you know I'm just here to tell you the longer you know somebody the longer you know somebody got the mic drew I'm the only how many y'all enjoying this so far we don't feel like you need to go raise your hand if you need to go to the bathroom no I'm seasoned I know why he needs to go he's got ideas so I guess known him alone we probably should go though we really do need to go let's stand out let's pray obviously uh tomorrow pray to God we can do this in 28 minutes because I think this is really helping people I mean I'm glad you go to a church that can help you in all these areas and let's just pray right now for every marriage that's here let's just go ahead I think y'all grabbing hands let's do it anyway just kind of go across the aisles even then hold each other's hands for a minute you online as well number one know this that God loves you that the Lord can restore anything he sure can chances are if you jump from this relationship to another you'll be surprised there too it's better just to stay and work on it and to love each other with the love of the Lord and then make sure you know if you're just worried by now I gotta hurry up get married if it's God today it's God tomorrow so you don't have to be in a hurry to have kids you don't see me to hurt you God will give you everything he said no good thing would he withhold of them that walk uprightly is right you gotta just pray right now for every man every woman every boy every girl every child that goes to faith church this weekend but they're hearing information that will make them have more wisdom to make right choices so that the divorce rate will not be the same at our church God we're free from divorce because we walk in love and it's hard to get a divorce when you're walking in love God we forgive everybody we even forgive ourselves some of you you just almost despise yourself because you you done that thing and you're holding it against you and you can't love other people if you don't love yourself so you have to forgive you say this with me say dear Heavenly Father I'll forgive everybody of everything they've ever done to me I release them right now I forgive them count it not a wrong done no big deal you've forgiven me it's a big debt so I forgive everyone else of all these little debts and while I'm at it I forgive myself I'm no longer going to continue making myself pay for a moment in time a bad decision the rest of my life friend is going to be the best of my life because I'm blessed I'm favored I'm anointed I'm qualified I'm led by the power the presence of God I decree and declare right now that good things are happening to me I'm meeting all the right people making all the right decisions in Jesus name and everyone said hey man give the Lord a hand as you check out this testimony

Channel: Crank Ministries

Views: 26,713

Rating: 4.7647057 out of 5

Keywords: David Crank, Nicole Crank, Pastor David, Pastor Nicole, Faith Church, faithchurch.com, St. Louis Church, West Palm Beach church, Best church in Missouri, Best church in Florida, marriage, dating, single, divorced, separated, cheating spouse, godly sex, forgiveness

Id: jTEDGbJXzU8

Length: 52min 26sec (3146 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 19 2017