Have a New Kid by Friday [TUESDAY] Disarming the Dude (or Dudette) with the 'Tude

it's Tuesday hey ready for session two of our five-day plan of have a new kid by Friday you know if your kids sporting attitude this is a session designed just for you I'm telling you you can turn that kid around in no time at all whether they're a professional eye roller or door slam or or just always got that wonderful word whatever this session is designed for you so enjoy Tuesday and remember Friday is just around the corner oh and by the way you're gonna see some little vignettes any resemblance to you are your kids in these little vignettes is thoroughly gorge it down hey kiddo Oh mom really are you like on a roll or something chicken again heat chicken gosh I wonder what we're gonna have for tomorrow night mom you have to take me to Miranda's we're gonna study we're not going to Miranda's Oh what does that even mean we're not going to Miranda's do you like not even realize that it's Tuesday I always go to Miranda's on Tuesday duh we're not going to Miranda's because I don't appreciate the way you talked to me tonight at dinner it's great hi Miranda it's me I guess I'm not coming over tonight it's so stupid no my mom she said that she didn't like the way I talked to her at dinner or something I don't know and then she's totally freaked out she wasn't just like ballistic it's probably not even safe to have her drive just get pulled over like fifty thousand trillion times so dumb you know it sucks whatever oh no I gotta go I'm getting another call okay bye [Applause] [Music] it's Tuesday just seemed like Tuesday to you it may not be Tuesday but it's Tuesday trust me and have a new kid by Friday this session I call disarming the dude or dudette with a toot so if your kids sporting a tude of one kind or another how do you disarm that okay and we talk about attitude behavior and character and of course the toughest of those is character again I just think that's so important to understand that this gets back to the life you live now not many people know this but the one thing I never wanted to be in life was a Christian I mean I avoided Christians like the plague my mother god bless her she dragged me to church as a kid I heard all those Bible stories and all that but I wanted no part of Christianity I thought Christians were the geekiest people known to mankind and she had a plaque she put on my wall my bedroom and I was embarrassed by it I hated it and it said only one life will soon be past only what's done for Christ will last now I'm 68 years old if you're curious I mean I'm near death and I just repeated that didn't I and sometimes as a parent you know you do things that aren't popular sometimes you do things with your kids that you think are never gonna pay off they paid off what I remember best about my mom is coming down in the morning and there she'd be reading her Bible or she'd have her head hung over in prayer I mean this this was a woman who loved God and see and she prayed for her her boy you know God always uses what very imperfect ordinary people to change people's lives I got in college I on probation with a 12 unit load eat out a c-minus average which is proof of the Living God when you think about it but long story short I went I became a janitor in a hospital met my wife to be mrs. uppington in the men's restroom of that Hospital I mean you talk about a life that should have gone a different direction and when she asked me after about three months of dating and I smoked Salem cigarettes I mean as a punk I was just a pop I had a cap front tooth and Warner chip through it you know so I had a big spot in the middle out of looker I always said women have the Sabine look inside rather than us men but you know sandy as a kid prayed to God for a man of character and God gave her a character sometimes God throws you a curveball but you know what when she asked me would you like to go to church with me I remember thinking oh no she's one of them I mean what do you say what do you say this chick though wants you to go to church you say oh I'd love to go to church I was lying through my teeth I don't want to go to church I remember senator Church thinking no chicks worth this then she wanted me to come at night why would you go to church at night you already been there in the morning you didn't do it right and but see my life changed but this pastor is talking about the guy who knew who Jesus Christ was in his head didn't know who was in his heart I'm just telling and everything had happened that night was supernatural I mean my life did a 180 but look at that mother of mine and look at the faith that she had in God look at the prayer that she gave for her kid and I'm so thankful she got to live to see some of the things that her little baby cub of the three lehman cubs did in life and so see that's why I say this character thing kids just don't fall in line and have character that has to be honed by fire sometimes and kids go through some things but you're steady you know you you're the captain or co-captain of the good ship family and you're gonna go through some rough seas and there's times you're gonna throw that life preserver out there but you have to have a port O'Call and here's my question do you know where you're going do you know where you're going do you know where your families do you have this this synergy where mom and dad are on the same page where we're going and I'll tell you kids are gonna they're gonna buck it they're not always gonna like it you know we heard the one girl say well I can't come over time I know what's going on my mom she's freaking out over something like who I talk whatever I mean you can have those moments that's part of what being a parent is really all about but there's three simple strategies that will help you through all this and this is sort of the bread and butter of having a new kid by Friday number one is let the reality of the situation become the teacher to the child now there's all kinds of problems I could pull up it give us an example to let reality be the teacher but I think of this woman some some people you deal with in life are just hard to forget and this woman made an appointment to see me okay so she comes in or we're talk and then yeah you want to know you know is the guy that's gonna work with this family or this person what are you here for a lady wants my son all right what's problem Lisa oh he doesn't eat maybe he doesn't he doesn't eat anything oh no he's pizza french fries without salt hamburgers with ketchup only no cheese and chicken McNuggets health food health food I said lady that's why you're here I mean seeing me cost a few bucks okay and I said lady you could have called the office my assistant could have told you what to do on that one I said but as long as you're here let's go through it okay I don't give me a meal you know he hates she says well he hates spaghetti and or Italian I said well can you fix spaghetti tonight and she said yeah I'd have to get some ground beef but yeah that's an easy meal yeah I said well just do one thing different should what's that I said don't call him for dinner don't set a place setting for him now you got imagine this okay the kid walks in to dinner no one's called him the two younger children are wolfing down their spaghetti with mom and dad and he walks in with she said this mystified look on his face yeah what's going on here and she looked up to the table said honey nothing's going our we're having dinner Oh where's mine well honey we're having spaghetti tonight now listen to what she says and you know how you hate spaghetti curveball she said the kid turned around and went over and looked at the spaghetti on the stove and then moved over there the meatballs and sauce work took a whiff with his nose turned looked at his mom and said mom I think I could eat that spaghetti serve yourself honey and the problema you know I'm saying I mean the ship is leaving when you get overly concerned with what goes in your kids mouth or what comes out the other end for that matter we got eating we got going potty and sleeping okay those are battlegrounds for parents you know you got a kid that keeps coming out of bed at night a young kid hold the door just hold the door give your husband something to do and let them hold the door but here's the kicker don't say a word and speaking of kicker I Got News for you there's three and four year olds a little kick a door pretty hard and not to say a word when a kid's kicking a door takes tremendous what discipline and willpower okay so you hold the door after a while that kid will settle down now when it when he or she settles down and not until there's not a peep out of him do you open that door slowly why do I say slowly because they're curled up behind it with their blanky you know I mean Ocana you know honey I'll leave it or open but you need to stay in bed leave the nightlight on - but you're gonna stay in bed I call that parental poker and you have to understand as a parent you got four aces you just need to play them I can make you stay in bet that that's not a problem so letting reality be the teacher the reality of the situation I mean let me ask your personal question this goes back to going potty I hope you don't mind answering it but it's personal how many of you today right here in our audience have gone potty now is there any parent here that was given an mm for going you see the kind of stuff we come up with I mean we laugh but this is where parents come up with my kid went party I'm giving them a hmmm all its gonna do is you know give them high cholesterol and plug his vein someday it's crazy what we do in the name of parenting and so much of this stuff is trial and error you're walking through the house you look down the hallway your little 19 month old son is sitting on the big potty not the little one you bought at Walmart the little plastic one the big one what do you do I mean you're made and you walk over you look down there and there's a little four and a half inch or floating in the toilet well what do you say John John come here see what your son has just done John what's the newspaper goes over goes oh hey good going everybody now here's my question what is the 19 month old thinking oh they're big on that big and see kids know and they'll use those things to sort of beat you over the head with and parents read so many things into appropriate behavior here's a little guy he's uh let's make him eleven months old he's walking along a built-in bookcase in your home okay and he just walking along with the help of the bookcase and he goes plunk and a book falls punk book number two's on the ground right number three and you're looking am saying honey don't do that no no now parents overuse the word no by Tomic kids to their mother death - no okay you're much better with a little ankle-biter like that if they're doing something you don't want to do pick them up and just divert them to something else now this kid who continues to do it why is he doing it well because he's willfully disobedient I'll tell you that dr. Lehmann let me tell you a thing or two kids today are willfully disobedient timeout you're wrong this is a kid who's engaging in developmentally appropriate behavior don't read into things that aren't he's not he's not being defiant okay he's doing things that eleven month old children like to do it's called cause and effect you could hand this kid $5,000 vases one at a time crash they just like the cause and effect it's that part of their life where they're you know understanding and discovering the world around them so you have to temper you know you have to know there's a difference when a four-year-old defiantly looks you in the eye and you ask them to do something and he says no that's defiance that's something you want to be on top of because you are be what the authority in the family okay and that's a god-given responsibility that each of us have as moms and dads how about this one learn to respond right and react I gave you let reality be the teacher learn to respond read and react most of us react that's what we do we get mad we get angry I mean how many times across America or Canada does the milk spill does the orange juice topple does the gym hit the floor or the syrup and what happens if those points in life Oh didn't I just tell you be careful what is wrong with you anyway you are gonna end up just like your Uncle Roger do you remember your Uncle Roger you know I mean at that point we don't need a berating we don't need an anger thing out of you what we need is a rag when you think about it because the Christian home needs to be a place where kids learn that failures are part of life we get the rag pick it up and life goes on okay you don't make a mountain out of a molehill it's as simple as that so again these things tend to work there you are you live in a two-bedroom apartment it's a Saturday morning you're having breakfast with your little nine-year-old son he looks up at you and he says mommy I want a pony a pony she's got a deep voice a pony that's the stupidest thing I ever heard of I'm telling if a bird had your brain he'd fly sideways what is wrong with you a pony now you're the adult do you think you could learn to respond instead of react same situation that little nine-year-old looks up at you says mommy I want a pony a pony Wow can you imagine having your own pony can you imagine in the morning riding down to school on your pony going by all the kids at the bus stop on your pony coming down to school tying that little pony up outside bell rings at lunchtime all the kids go to cafeteria not you you got a check on your pony and the old kid says yeah but we live in an apartment we can't have a pony kennel figure it out you know hey I'm gonna years ago said grant and fantasy which you can't in reality I always loved that granting fantasy but you can't in reality Oh wouldn't that be great or your 17 year old sister you know I'm gonna get a Corvette well seasons of me your grades better improve over real good but if you're gonna get a Corvette you know parent do you think you could say Wow Corvette Wow are you talking about like an old classic of 58 with the double lights or the 61 and a 64 classic are you talking about a new one I mean talk parents say my kids don't talk to me talk your kid brings up something it's a beautiful opportunity to talk whatever they want to talk to talk to him about just keep that dialogue going on and part of this is is defining for yourself what's a molehill what's a mountain No we have five kids Kevin he writes ads for TV he's I mean he's done so many different things but at age 15 I'll never forget the moment because he came to the dinner table and he announced you know men and boys announce things like a husband you know meets his sales quota at work and he comes home any announces you know this concludes the male responsibility for the Hawaiian trip the woman takes care of the other minor details of the trip well you know teenies voices same way look Kevin comes to the dinner table one night he just blurts out I mean no preface to it just flat-out he says I'm gonna get an earring well I wish you could have seen mrs. uppington my wife freaked out and every time Kevin looked away she's lookin at me like I said something glib like you know pass the green beans I mean I wouldn't go in there and after dinner I'm telling you and my wife is mild gentle spirited lady she's in my face Kevin Leman why didn't you say something I do not want him to get an earring you do not let him get in here I want you to talk with him tonight about no earring I did something really outrageous I went and got an earring and I showed up with a dinner table yeah and I knew he'd see it he's Wolfen down his dinner he doesn't notice it I had to do one of these things where I did this stretch over here so he could see the little glimmer in the ear and all of a sudden he looked at it his eyes narrowed he looked at me and he said you look absolutely ridiculous I said really I said your mom well friends he was 15 he just turned 33 I don't think we're gonna see an earring I don't think it's gonna happen see that's a molehill who cares I would pay more attention to your kids heart and I'd like you to ask yourself these questions what what is your attitude toward your kids what kind of attitude comes across I you Miss know-it-all or mr. know-it-all if you are they're gonna battle you what does your behavior avail about your attitude I mean do yourself a little gut check I think we if you want to be a good parent you got to understand that sometimes we come across the wrong way what changes do you need to make in your behavior now again once you get into this study guide and you're seeing ok I want the new kid by Friday is you've already discovered you need to be a new you by Friday for the kids to in fact turn their behavior around and then what kind of character you want to be known for and how do you get there you know I always make the statement the kids are always looking up there taking emotional notes spiritual notes and how we live our lives it's just simple kind of stuff I'll keep that in mind as you go through this Tuesday session the character is the one you just don't push a bunch of buttons you just don't let reality be the teacher with character you are who you are and don't think your kids don't know the difference between who you say you are and who you really are you

Channel: Godstrong Daily

Views: 9,063

Rating: 4.8933334 out of 5

Keywords: parenting, christian parenting, help, baby, kids, youth group, children, behaving

Id: eJ9Ka2kwfog

Length: 22min 24sec (1344 seconds)

Published: Thu May 31 2018