Change Your Child's Attitude 1/5 - Kevin Leman

well you've seen him on CBS's the Early Show Live with Regis and Kelly and CNN's American morning he served as a contributing family psychologist to Good Morning America and now he's with us on our full circle Canadian couch dr. Kevin Leman thank you for joining us good morning I think this ought to be a five day program do you know just the ladies shirt but look at his socks okay lobsters you take a look at good up there I don't know Thanks yeah they strike on cars actually I usually wear pink socks with this oh you're slipping you know but that's okay we like the stripes what's going to be with you anyway yeah we are so happy to have you okay now dr. Lehman your book title alone is enough to raise more than just a few eyebrows so before we get into our discussion we wanted to see how Canadians react to your claim that you can have a new kid by Friday so we sent our son for our summer intern Jacqueline hubby to the streets of Toronto to find out what they thought I'll put a mask on and get my attic and gear here we go all right probably I don't think it's possible I think it takes a lot more than a week to change a child's behavior because you have to change your own too so that's hard to change your own behavior in a week as I mean I think behaviors are ingrained in kids and with a three-year-old like mine I I think you know we work at things and I we I obviously see lots of improvement over time but a week no I'd say no way no I don't think you could do it no they've got between them however many years of being themselves and us as being parents too you know I mean no be hard oh right I really believe that Yeah right so you're gonna undo you know years and years of not only your child's own programming but your or your programming your parents programming and their parents programming in a couple of days brilliant why didn't I think of that yeah that last that last guy I love that last guy he reminds me of uh there was a book review on have a new kid by Friday that started out and by the way the book is number one on Amazon which means that there's seven million books on Amazon is number one for a good but you know the truth of matter is this review starts off yeah have a new kid by Friday yeah and lose 40 pounds by Wednesday and then the guy goes on to say but Lehman delivers in spades in this delightfully practical book and the reality is that I told the publisher I said you know it doesn't really take five days I mean you could do it in two days we could call this book have a new kid by Wednesday because it really takes about 48 hours if you use the principles are in this book to get little Fletcher's attention to make a little Buford do a 180 it doesn't have to take forever what we heard in those interviews are oh no well this is the way kids are two-year-olds misbehave the terrible twos and all that kind of stuff I had a kid at I over to our house one day he was probably four and his mother his mother was visiting my wife and this kid comes over and he kicks me and the mom looks at me and says boys will be boys you know we use we give excuses in labels and I'm just telling if you want to change behavior in a kid it's really possible you just have to do things differently now there was a letter to you that was written in your book and she says to you you know what dr. Lehman no wimps allowed in your strategy oh yeah and as I was reading I mean some of these things and you'll be sharing about your strategy and principles they're hard look I was sitting there going what parent could do these do these kinds of things and he's like you realize your lips are shining SHINee lips I love these girl show come on over here up there so like good I'm attracted to shiny I've said yeah but I learned a lot in this and you're scaring her off so I'd like you to talk about your liman strategy cuz I think that's well pretty amazing it's you know that the book is framed out on Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday and then fun day and fun day is where you kick back and put into practice the principles that you've chosen to use and zero in on the area that you want to zero in on in terms of your kids behavior character issues whatever it might be but we start off with Monday with something really simple and it's simply the principle of say at once turn your back walk away now that's pretty simple stuff on top of that I add just for fun let's stop asking kids questions now every parent think about that for just a second how difficult would it be not to ask your kids questions well dr. Raymond um I disagree with you there I think it's very important to ask your child questions like honey how was your day at school today okay fine how was your day at school today honey Oh fine yeah what you do in school today nothing nothing teenager where you been how what you do nothing you want to ask questions go ahead you want to see a change in behavior and you want your kids and start talking to you about what's going on their life stop asking questions and kids will come up to you and say things like um is there anything okay life's wonderful walk away and watch what happens they usually follow you so I start to book off with a real life a four year old who wants to stop for a treat on the way home from preschool he's four years old and four-year-olds know every McDonald's every Tim Hortons within sight okay they love those little Timmy bits and so he wants to stop her tree and mommy says very matter-of-factly honey no mommy has to go home I have some stuff have to do at home we have to go home now he throws a major temper tantrum okay now he tops it off with I hate you now for you grandparents that are watching us I mean can you imagine a four year old or four year old saying to their parent I hate you they say it they say it today the question is what do you do do you change his name to Isaac and try to kill him on the Queen eat uh not a good idea and what this mom does is she comes into her home when she gets home she takes the little guy out of his car seat and goes in the house and gets busy now she hasn't yelled at him she hasn't admonished him she hadn't said one word to him now kids are creatures of habit every day after school he's got chocolate chip cookies and milk waiting for we makes a couple runs through the kitchen not a cookie in sight well what does he do he goes and seeks out his mom mommy mommy mommy wasn't hurt chocolate chip cookies very matter-of-factly mom says we're not having chocolate chip cookies today honey she turns her back and walks away now here's a critical point for every parent to think about what is it four-year-old do cry carry on throw fit it's one possibility what else try to raid the cupboard try to go find himself a cookie comes comes after mom but mom follows the mom follows the mom because now you've thrown him a curveball mommy mommy mommy I understand we always have chocolate chip cookies after school now with a little attitude mom says I told you we're not having chocolate chip cookies today young man she turns her back again walks away now now he's like a quarterback on a Sunday afternoon he's freaking out mommy I was that in the red before dude I don't know and now finally his hearts open his ears are finally open now a lovable little sucker

Channel: 100huntley

Views: 64,988

Rating: 4.7351918 out of 5

Keywords: discussion, fullcircle, family, 100, huntley, street, 100huntley, christian, 8087, new, kid, child, friday, children, attitude, kevin, leman

Id: ZO6f_yCOadA

Length: 8min 14sec (494 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 26 2009