Harry Styles being a literal comedian

if you weren't a music artist what do you think he would be a virgin special little boy this one's from my mum how did you come up with this idea um i wish i could take complete credit uh so i will why did you choose to have no featured artist on the album i don't know getting some great stuff here i hope you're recording you said you're feeling cute oh sorry she learned english on instagram she's been feeling jose sexy as hell so to say oh yeah have my dudes tried this oh oh you don't have to demonstrate it have you tried have you tried have you tried my dudes have you tried this have you tried it i've never really done a show like this before as i'm sure most people who come and do this haven't it just feels like you're in the way of you working so i apologize uh but you know it's tuesday it's tuesday right yeah it's tuesday i don't have a real job so cheers but what if i have baby and my butt stops being juicy then it would go back to how it was before like really fit and toned she had like a little basketball butt this is the last uh song we're gonna play it's called adore you uh it's about a fish and uh how are you having a good time got a couple of beers in what are those what are those [Applause] vodka straight no i mean straight vodka not are you straight it's vodka straight no okay yesterday a lovely show it's a bit fun in it [Applause] good put that down i love the stones i even love your later stuff when you went solo solo uh why would anyone in a successful bang go solo that is insane the entire show you've been sat down right on your wonderful wonderful ass [Applause] how much longer does this go on forever how much longer is it okay we have someone who's sleeping how old are you she's almost which usually i would find very offensive and she's young this guy is gonna try his best not to think of susan and the kids this christmas what's your name odella all of you are saying the same thing there's twenty-five [Applause] oh how long have you guys been together six weeks first season i was like i'm not judging them what is your name cara cara cara yeah i'm english i have an accent cara [Applause] you got married five years after your first kiss that's a very nice gesture who made the first move you did what happened talk us through it we were watching the movie elf you're watching the movie elf okay nothing i can get will ferrell to really get you in the mood harry you have a runny nose a runny nose you do have a runny nose you know if someone was to say the top five things of the job then i don't think the money is is in that list you've stayed very grounded haven't you thank you how because they haven't paid me yet that's right obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously are you stood on a chair [Music] he's nine feet tall wow this guy is one of the biggest dudes i've ever seen i'm sorry it's always the crowd goes like this the girl behind you is like jesus you know even though better is not head doesn't mean she's not around she's in heaven smoking bloods harry this is a good impression of someone from long island i have a son his name is ishmael he never calls me anymore sarah jones yes where did you find her sarah jones um sarah john well it really it's sarah's band i'm just the front man of sarah's band [Applause] what are we doing [Applause] why just swallow it why are you like [Applause] oh my god stop stop to spare or to swallow that is the question the next song i'm gonna play for you is what what you saying i can't hear you i'm working leave me alone i don't know i hope this isn't surprising if you're pregnant yes do you know what you're having do you want to know i don't know the baby's like no staying here thank you though i've got like 15 minutes left back to the seats please back to the seats there you go okay thank you doesn't do well for my narcissism when people leave words what happens now is i'm gonna do a song i'm gonna go off we're gonna pretend i've gone home now i'm gonna come back and usually i will be gone for about 90 seconds the narcissist in me will stand backstage chat scream [Music] that's the narcissist in me okay don't worry he's alive and well he's just asleep so where are you going oh he's getting a drink all right as you all know i'm a boy thank you i was somewhere i went somewhere else there i went somewhere else emotionally i wasn't even in the car anymore you weren't here it was just me crying performing it sometimes does it yeah i find it quite emotional do you find it emotional because of them like in like a cool way did you just say in a cool like a quarter like a chill makes me cry in a cool way told me didn't it sorry get out of my kitchen well harry's mixing that rather slowly just to tell you what else i'm not feeling fabulous you just got married you just got married what are your names kimmy amy and jay sean jay dave [Applause] how long have you been married three weeks three weeks all right chat make some noise for chad are you guys from buffalo where are you from [Applause] three hours away amy and chad are from anywhere within a three-hour radius chad has a very american name chad very manly what do you do chad what do you mean what do you do chad i can't even do something manly give it up for chat amy and chad chatter name i love chad thanks buddy in the world i've said it too many times you're the glue that holds this operation together ted i want to thank you these two people right here can i can i just show you them tammy and mark if you would show yourselves put your hands in the air tammy this is i'm going to tell you a story because one time i'm not entirely sure when but one time in 1988 they had sex born from this intimacy was one of my best friends now in the world i still get so nervous talking to girls mates join the club i just can't go over and talk to her it's just i don't know how what's your what's your protocol for i throw things at him you throw things up hey we did this thing with him where we just read out some of the mad stories that have been in the papers about him over the years this could be fun and uh we're just trying to read your expression there will be a camera very close on your face as i read these out okay set your face for this one i really want to see this one okay okay here we go you had a sexual relationship with barack obama wait you're wavering aren't you legally not allowed to say do you want to see a picture of him done it hurts just deserves to be the bookies favorite everything about you is positive you're a leader energy apart from my drugs test they're all negative [Music] actually proper isn't your bob my ass is on the line where are you from could be wrong but i think she's from austria last you were here uh i don't if you remember it we crammed your head down into a union jack cake yeah i appreciate that did it take a while to get like the food coloring off your face well the thing was it was an ice cream cake and it was solid so it actually really hurt my nose oh sorry yeah yeah how do you tell this story why do you i don't know if you remember but uh when you when you smash my face into an ice cream cone you know i know after would it be great to all interviews that have one word yes you just did it thank you so much there's a sentence i never thought i would say it's a song that i wrote a few years ago and i gave it to this is alex everybody says [Music] reveals std worries after koala bear incident who wants to tell us what this story is about i made a joke about it somewhere there's me looking very scared about holding that there yeah he's already gone and he weed on me and it's they pass it that way and yeah his face says [ __ ] i've got chlamydia what was it like working together so you've been obviously on a very very intimate set uh the themes are very have you kind of formed like a brotherly bond you look like you're about to hold hands very close i think um i think the thing was explore obviously the relationship between the two characters and how uh the ten what's your favorite female name can't say chelsea it wasn't so what would you say has inspired the style of music for your first release my god your mum thinks she's on jules island she was putting on like a bit of a posh accent she's trying to get rid of your four gig um excuse me um what do you think has inspired your chest you don't talk like that what does she talk like oh it seems on the table if i tell my sister with any of the boys in the background coming out no no way they were like there's the truth absolutely not happening right i've been on the road i see what happened scary out there everyone says this thing [Applause] have you ever been there with a teenage girl who love you and then her mother hits on you know what sometimes they sometimes they almost like push them out the way yeah there's been a couple where the where the mums have been like oh my daughter loves you and then you look at the door and she's like it's open [Applause] big big big big big mistake huge respect [Applause] is hello i'm on the phone oh hello hello hi karen caron your daughter no i won't do that it's a friday everybody make some noise and you'll never know never have i ever made out with someone double my age all right what is this game never have i ever hooked up with a fan i think mine's broken

Channel: harry's gay vodka

Views: 1,204,107

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Id: 6rdDBNnX62I

Length: 21min 11sec (1271 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 10 2020