HARLEQUINS: ALL THEATRES ARE THEATRES OF WAR | Warhammer 40k Lore

[Music] welcome everyone to another episode of the adeptus ridiculous podcast my name is dk diamantes my co-host shai is bricky he's going to be teaching us all about the most ridiculous aspects of this crazy wild warhammer 40k universe but before he does if you enjoyed today's podcast consider heading over and supporting us on patreon.com slash adeptus ridiculous where you can get access to our discord you can get some really nice hd posters there is a there's a pretty nice uh insectoid female of the tyranids that's just pretty chef's kiss if you ask me um shall put it up on the screen you can see it yourself but yeah patreon.com slash adept is ridiculous if you want access to stuff like that and yeah um bricky where where can our lovely viewers find some lovely merch maybe a couple dice even a couple dice that's not even just one dice that's two dice there could be three dice in there you don't know how many dices that you're getting except for the fact that you do because it says on the site but if you want to get this ridiculous dice and merchandising go over to orcade.com link in the description if you buy dice as well as an article of adobe ridiculous clothing you will get 15 off your order until the end of january which is not much left you have only a couple days by the next episode that will be gone also don't forget to read twice did king rain it's very very very good so far for february book club but i don't want to get too uh hefty on that because we actually have a sponsor today but this sponsor is a little bit more topical today's episode is sponsored by mini war gaming which if you are a warhammer fan have probably heard of at some point they're kind of like the og or the first really big battle report group pretty much on youtube they actually launched their own miniature lime also known as the ravaged star or armies of the veil campaign it's actual physical minis no stls for now and they are shipping fully worldwide tons of inspirations were brought in like mortal kombat vikings obviously 40k thor bit of the witcher in there and you can use the minis as a ton of proxies for different games d and d is a big one 40k of course is a big one that would be the one for me because there's a lot of great chaos stuff that i'd like to sub in for some of my night lords necromunda even like fallout and star wars honestly they're all original scopes they have their own lore they have their own names it's its own thing it's one of those types of deals where if you want to use it for a gw game like warhammer that's just subbing it in it's not meant to be a entire replacement because you know copyright duh oh sure sure uh so if you'd like to check out their stuff because we will be getting some ourselves go ahead and check out the description again it is the ravaged star armies of the veil touched by mini war gaming go ahead check out the description give it a looksie and uh i think yeah that's that's that thank you again mwg i'm pretty sure we'll be having one of you on the podcast at some point soon where you can uh where you can show your stuff more because that's what i would do that's a pretty cool name ravage star ravaged star touched by the veil kind of has like a the warp has like alright dk my man my friends my mom my my lad my man in the room my elephant in the jungle wow my name they call me fat my low hanging fruit ah well sure my my my associates my friend uh my uh my associate yeah my platonic business partner you gonna hit me with a quote is this is this the part where i [ __ ] up a quote real bad it's time for the quote oh boy i've only gotten like one out of six i'm not hitting very well my percentage is not great dude that's going to be my my record on lvo oh i forgot to mention uh any of our viewers any of our viewers if you are going to lvo the warhammer tournament i will be there you can say hello if you like and all that stuff um just you know if i'm in the middle of a game like make it quick just be like hey nice to meet you the next picture you're so famous no shut up dk sign my boobs i don't want to i don't want to take time for my opponent's game i'll see you you say you're a craft world fan i will kick you in the balls oh unless unless you are of course a woman in that case i'll kick you in the balls nice well done way to be inclusive uh lvo las vegas open yeah okay cool cool cool is it scott pilgrim where he's like kick her in the balls i don't know i haven't seen scott pilgrim versus the world in like a decade it's been a while yeah it's been a hot minute anyway quote commissar a worm i'm 36 taran years tomorrow 20 years in the guard plucked directly from cadia itself praise upon its name the god emperor saw fit test me against the horrors of his holy domain i've dealt with the green skins where their numbers blocked out the dirt the unholy spawn of those undying machines and phantom pain shoots through my arm despite it being one of those little critters lunch nothing in this galaxy phases me anymore or at least so i thought but let me tell you kamisar emperor call me a liar if i don't love myself some damn good klussy [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Laughter] okay and yes and yes the entire quote i made up no wow no kidding really yeah oh really how i i thought it was canon that uh the guardsman loved his klusi i you know i uh do you know what our topic is today dk i have no idea tyranids i don't know are you [ __ ] kidding me dk no i'm not it's true it's tyranids try it how can you not know this it's it's klusi is a it's a meme isn't it don't we know about that clown oh oh dk you're the clown here oh well whatever dk you're the [ __ ] clown at least i didn't unironically use the term classy it was yeah fair i said it yeah fair so what are we actually doing today we're doing harlequins uh yeah i get it i get your memes now i i get your memes now maybe if you are actually funny i would have gotten it the first time holy [ __ ] that's harsh that's that's a little wrong that's a little hard damn it turns out the only joke here is me oh my god we're doing harlequins we're doing harlequins i'm excited about that though the eldar race we haven't talked about because the inari don't count because it's like three people and one of them is is a hoe oh rough yes rough that's but yes we're talking a rough mcgruff scoob he like looks like scoob we're gonna go fight the harlequin we're gonna fight the harlot like scoob is that a gun i need to go ultra instinct scoob you know so the harlequins um they are of course the other version of the eldar that we know we didn't craft world uh we have discussed uh oh there's a picture of them killing ultramarines oh nice now i'm invested in this episode now you care harlequins are the final the final one now uh of the eldari they're known as also the rilatan or reliaton it's like the eldar lexicon name for them uh but the harlequins particularly are the keepers of the black library and they are servants of the eldar's laughing god known as there is literally no way to properly pronounce this isn't it or or some people call like sega rock or i don't know something like that it's yeah i call i call it kegger rock um just because that's how i pronounce it but yeah we laughing we have keckarack yeah top kekarak i always like that one um but they're the servants of the laughing god keepers of the black library and to them there is truly no distinction between art and war like war is art and art can be war they see it as one in the same they like it's not like the jukari where they commit war through like spectacles like in the the olympic arenas whatever they are like the witch cults and stuff this is the idea that like no it's not they're not just doing war in like an artistic style they believe war is art and so that's why they dress the way they are they are they are performers they are performers in war in fact the basic harlequin troop choice as in like basic infantry person is known as a player okay because they are a player in the in you know in the in the play don't hate the player hate the game right i do hate the game towels are coming out soon and i'm going to hate the game more oh yeah those are railguns eh it should be real fun uh when the eldar way back when in the great fall turn their back on their gods the gods themselves could do nothing about it like each of their gods were kind of it's like kind of the idea of like losing your faith so to speak and because they lost their faith the eldar gods kind of lost their power so like the the glow of of the uh debauchery that the eldar were growing up to certain gods like kane kind of raged in anger the um smithvaul the smith kind of stopped well i think smithing uh isha who's in nergal's uh come jar like wept an ocean of tears and even uh what was the name ursulion ursion the creator because they always call themselves the ursirai yeah [ __ ] eldar um looked like in this powerless feeling right only keggerock didn't give a [ __ ] he just kind of looked at them and started laughing his ass off he's like oh you [ __ ] morons ah you idiots oh darwinism is coming for you well he is the laughing god so i mean it makes sense that he would look at it and laugh keg rock is a weird thing though cause he's the laughing god but he's the eldar's laughing god so you kind of have to assume what the eldar find funny oh it's probably super depraved and [ __ ] up it's a comet like he's like a laughing god but he's like a horror god at the same time yeah at least i would i kind of think of him like that where the things that the eldar find humorous the jests the jokes that they pull um yeah he's like pretty repulsive and pretty gross because it's the eldar and they're all about excess and if chances are the stuff that kegrak finds funny is probably stuff that we find absolutely [ __ ] repulsive yeah i can imagine keg rock thinking like oh um my my troop tripped and fell and he hit his funny-looking head on this [ __ ] uh stone pylon that felon crushed five orphans yeah he probably would find that funny that kind of like it's i'm using examples that may or may not be true but i've always kind of seen him because kegarock is not known well he's weird and and mysterious so that's kind of the point but as a laughing god i always just assume it's the eldar's laughing god and that changes it all yeah um i go with you on that that sounds reasonable so when slaanesh was originally birthed and it opened its enormous mouth to suck in all the souls of the eldar it also consumed their gods um most of their gods except for a couple i think isha is in nergal's jar so not her for example and yeah i think kate i think kane is around because they have the avatar of kane but uh keggerock took their followers away before slaanesh's arrival somehow and was able to don't know how it just somehow he took him away and it's just they were safe it's it's a little it's bizarre it's very bizarre because as we know the first people who left before the fall were the exodites and they have laser dinosaurs um then next were the drukari who just hid in the web way the entire time anyway and uh used the psychic defenses the web boy had and last were the craft worlds who created their giant arcs and flew away um however not some fled their doom and the idea we don't necessarily know how but the the worshippers of the laughing god took with them the quote-unquote see seeds of kagerock's vengeance and would now find the bloody purpose in fighting the chaos to come if there is an example of this or how i can't find it okay i don't know how much is supposed to be explained um it says that uh here the eldari myth says that when slash fought with cain the laughing god escaped into the web way and hid amongst its myriad tunnels i guess kind of like how the yucari hid in kamurock yeah and the tales suggest that he remains there still unassailable laughing at the chaos gods as he hatches bitter plans for revenge so i guess he hid through the labyrinth of the web way um i guess he took some followers with him but at the same time the drukari kind of have like a pinky finger on them by slinhesh so i'm assuming that maybe they were so deep in the web way that they just didn't get hit yeah and then that's i guess i i vaguely remember in a previous episode doesn't kegerak stop uh harlequin souls from going to slaanesh like he just kind of grabs them before they can do that or like he steals souls from uh uh slaanesh's cookie jar or something yeah he takes them back i think he actually like not necessarily barters but fights slinesh there it's like slush gets the soul and he's like ah rock paper scissors for me doofus like rock paper scissors that is pretty great just just just kangaroo and slinesh both like getting ready for a [ __ ] rock paper scissors match you know i'm imagining both of them doing that but for some reason my mind immediately goes to some cringy ass [ __ ] jojo pose where they're both like hyper buff like with their hand with like a rock in their hand like ready to [ __ ] go what a weird dude duel disc dual discs yeah they're cool they they pull out their yu-gi-oh cards it's time to do do and they do well for harlequin souls except all the is just like a honking sound from a clown nose [Applause] because they're harlequins i get it look at you you funny guy oh i'm funny now i've ever redeemed myself oh no i was being sarcastic oh all right well you know what go go step on legos wow that's harsh so harlequins uh would want you to step on legos now now immediately they'd think that was pretty funny actually so he always thinks it's funny he does not think we are funny we're too low-brow yeah but the harlequins wage a never-ending war against the service of chaos for their laughing god they're actually a nomadic race um so they actually don't have any particular place they stick around they travel in these big war bands known as masks m-a-s-q-u-e okay and these warbands are comprised of things called troops t-r-o-u-p-e-s troops i was about to say they sound like they're a traveling troupe of entertainers exactly and they're led by a troop master so these masks are they they have they're actually i mean they use the word veil a little too much if i'm being totally honest um but they have the the mask of dance without end the mask of the dreaming shadow the frozen stars the leering moons the midnight sorrow the reaper's mirth the the silent shroud and shadows mirage the soaring spite and veiled path winter sun and laughing circus damn those names yeah weeping dawn morning mist but morning with a you know the midst of morning oh so funny clowns hey even though they're really more like they're more like demon jesters of her being totally honest they're more sisters than they are clowns their aesthetic makes me think way more of like demon jesters yeah yeah they even have a guy called a death jester which is the dude that shy just posted oh what a badass he kind of looks like a subtle version of maughan raw the phoenix lord actually the same weapon like him yeah yeah it looks very similar the the skeleton motif if maugen raw had a trench coat he would look like that well they both are eldar so i guess that kind of makes sense yeah but one's a phoenix lord and one's a a death jester yeah a dead chester that sounds horrifying like that's that's little kids nightmares like you thought you were afraid of clowns hey take a look at our death gesture so the harlequins strike very fast and they retreat sometimes faster with all like this martial skill and this this dance of war right sometimes they're kind of like silent protectors sometimes entire systems or even like sub-species may have survived an entire demonic incursion but they'll never know the harlequins did it because they would pop out of the web way just in a blink of an eye hop out murder a bunch of demons in this ballet and then just retreat back in the web hmm so they're very like so the harlequins are more specifically looking to to [ __ ] up chaos they're here i'm here to kill chaos i'm here to kill chaos is that kind of their stick that's entirely their shtick i mean they'll kill other things they gotta so if you were say uh a normal human outpost on a backwater planet where the imperium would never come to help you and say you got invaded by demons if the harlequins got wind of it would they show up kill the demons and basically leave the humans to survive or would they just kill everything um it depends on what their seers tell them don't forget eldar of a bunch of witches and people that tell the future and [ __ ] they have their far sides right with the binoculars um yeah oh that's dumb you're dumb well that's that's the that's the main picture they're far seers sorry farseers yeah yeah stupid [ __ ] eldar farseers they train their whole lives when all i need is a pair of binoculars yep yep that's the meme that's the maybe love my guard hate my eldar not racist just don't like them just don't like them yep simpson bullets sounds super dope i'm actually they they sound really cool oh they get way cooler um so nice uh so the harlequins are performers also in a practical sense they travel to the other exodite worlds jukari craft worlds and um sorry craft worlds and kamarag itself the exodites craft worlds and uh the jakari to perform in fact they kind of do it as this idea of like this glue that holds them all together they perform the dance and the plays of the fall itself and the concept is that to kind of remind everyone what happened and keep the semblance of like unity between the species like hey we're different but let's remember where we came from and let's remember the real enemy here oh ah that's that's actually really cool um that they kind of act like the the glue between all of the very separate distant factions of the eldar yeah because because obviously craftworld and drewkari probably aren't big fans of each other uh exodites are off doing i guess prehistoric [ __ ] with their laser dinosaurs but it's kind of cool that they go to all of them and and perform uh little plays about what happened to them and maybe not to be excessive as excessive as they were before because you know slaanesh yeah and in fact when war is bad enough those harlequins can be called upon for aid in temporary alliances with their other eldar cousins often in fact in fact very often the harlequins are so confusing and creepy and weird that trying to backstab them is just a great way to get a knife in your throat oh yes and i think very bad idea i think the only person who has ever attempted to backstab the harlequins is as drabel vect supreme overlord of comrades if anyone would try it it would be vect it would be vect i don't know if he succeeded or not i i don't i don't know with vex who goddamn knows but um actually though that being said more ever since the great rift which is the uh term for abaddon cracking katie and breaking open the ayah terror ever since the great rift more and more eldar are just straight up disappearing into the webway actually joining the harlequins the harlequins numbers are currently growing and the eldar themselves the craft world dracari and so on kind of want to know why why is everyone leaving to go to the eldar sorry everyone leave all the eldar leaving to go to the harlequins because it sounds like a much better deal well and this is where [ __ ] actually gets really interesting so do you know what the black library truly is besides what gw uses to sell books which is actually a pretty intelligent branding idea um i really i i was actually gonna ask you that like uh in the beginning when you said they were the keepers of the black library i was like what the [ __ ] is that other than a place where i wasted 40 bucks on a book that was already on audible because people told me it was already out not bitter about it just saying um yeah i have no idea what the black library actually is other than i'm assuming a spooky library that has a bunch of creepy tomes in it that talk about eldar stuff you sound bitter about it shut up no i just said i wasn't bitter about it oh you're right you weren't pretty bad sorry i actually was a silly joke no yeah what a silly joke king rock would have laughed um so the black the black library is like a craft world so to speak i use that term very loosely a big arc basically but it is entirely within the web way in order to get to the black library you basically need to stare into madness itself you need to navigate the mind crushing labyrinth that is the web way it is nigh impossible to map out the web way properly and it is triply impossible to find the damn black library twists and turns and and imagine dark souls but every wall is invisible but you're not even playing the right game you're trying to find the black library and you're playing dark souls one and every wall is is a damn invisible wall and the game turns off periodically but guess what the black library's in dark souls three like you don't even boy it's [ __ ] impossible to get through there unless you're a harlequin where it's assumed that every harlequin knows how to get to the black library okay um inside the black library is all of the eldar's collective knowledge all of it even the souls and minds of people kept in like a weird stasis so that if you were to let them out if you could handle their mental whatever you could know what they knew everything and we're talking everything the true nature of the katan and star gods the actual answer to how the chaos gods got birthed whoa all that knowledge in the universe is stored here that is a pretty significant uh site then um damn this is everything has a human ever been to the black library because it's got to be nigh impossible for a human to somehow get there yes they have yeah a couple actually okay um did they say anything no so if any there have been a couple inquisitors and a notable sister of battle that have gone into the black library under the guise and caution of the harlequins themselves okay so they kind of shepherd them into the black library and allow them to either learn of something or uh leave with a piece of information or or whatever so that to take back to the imperium in order to kind of assist the eldar in their fight against chaos example there is a sister of battle known as ephraial stern uh who is the number one proponent of protein and gains all right so she's she's she should buff a [ __ ] cool good good good to hear uh damn it damn it shy i was getting to the uh getting to the aruman park god damn it damn it shy you spoiled him hey snake kills dumbledore [Music] oh my god i'm so disappointed what i cannot win i cannot believe she [ __ ] oh oh my god spoiled spoiled she spoiled it in chat for me uh everyone so um efrail stern is known as the heretical saint because she's like she's like a psycher but she's not how does that work i don't know i think she's a psycher but in game she doesn't play as a psycher she's like has like old i don't know i think she's supposed to be a psyche that's what she looks like she's dope as [ __ ] oh she is dope and [ __ ] she looks like a psycher but the idea is that psychers are hayden in the sisters right um though she actually has a model and this guy is uh name is kaganelle he is her harlequin bodyguard so when you actually play sisters of battle you run the two of them together that link doesn't work that you put in chat oh [ __ ] i want to see what he looks like i want to see what they there we go oh okay oh harlequin without a mask all right ooh that's a very cool model with all the little uh sort of digitized squares under him that's very cool oh i like that a lot very web way like now in emperor text-to-speech she's in it for a very short period of time and they decide to draw her incredibly buff damn damn she looks great holy snap so when when in the in the emperor text to speech series kegger rock is actually a pretty common character and um the idea is that he's just keeping the light black library and she busts out and she's like [ __ ] alien where's my protein i require nourishment how you if you want to reach peak performance like me and he this xenos food isn't working so that's the uh that's that's half the meme you'll hear about ephrail stern but got it gts reference but her and a large majority of other inquisitors that have gone into the black library are under the guidance of the harlequins telling them to go here and there and nowhere else because you know they have some information they want to bring back to the imperium to help deal with chaos right however the other thing and we'll get to our man at some point shine is that at the heart of the black library at the dead center there is a silver lit vault and in there is a tone and on that tome has the writings of keg rock himself and it's been sealed shut since the fall of the eldar covered in chains of light now ow it says uh and i quote from the wiki here a fallen sorcerer seeks the lore of the library a king stirs in his court of death and silence preparing to rise once more within madness's eye the champion of the ruinous powers prepares to seize a realm long denied as the signs have come to pass so the bands of light about the tome have flickered and died so with each of these things happening a strand of light has removed been removed okay and now now the tome is finally open ever since the fall of cadia and the great rift the tome is now open and inside of it is doge van dyer's wiki feed page you [ __ ] knew it was it was coming the whole time dk it was coming the whole time it's 400 pages of feet it's all [ __ ] feet dk i hate it here good oh man do i hate it here oh boy that's no that's not actually let down but yeah a bit of a lecture [Music] dude that's that's like the holy grail it's holy grail yeah it's the holy ghost all of his edited works in there look at this tone when they're like i can kill chaos i'm going to never leave the library like i need i need to also review these feet picks for science [ __ ] plays limb biscuit on phone walks away [Laughter] [ __ ] wasn't legit biscuit on his phone anyway and that get in that in that meme was it not limb biscuit no everybody thinks it's limbus but it's not what is it i don't know it's just some in-house square enix band oh it sounds like limp biscuit it does it is it's reminiscent of olympus but it's [ __ ] not i would know chester's voice batman i'm a dork i listen to linkin park every day on the way home from school cause i was a lonely nerd wait i thought linkin park was chester what's i thought lim biscuit was what oh well right now you're right i got him what the [ __ ] dk let biscuit mixed up never mind how did you get linky to park and liv's biscuit messed up because we started half an hour earlier and i haven't slept enough and i got the l names mixed up okay the only person taking an l here is you also fred durst way more cringe than whoever was uh on that track in the meme fred durst is extremely cringe oh yeah anyway continuing anyway so now that it's home is finally open and the feet picks have been expunged the harlequin shadow sears reads something known as the final act and this final act is a galaxy spanning event a performance a galaxy spanning performance and it's written by keggerock in light and shadow to trick slaanesh into not destroying the eldar race but in fact saving them it is a a great jest a great joke written by keggerock himself damn and by doing so such a big deal like that's huge it will make it so that slinesh will no longer be able to steal their souls and in fact it will save their race from extinction that is the final act and that's why people are joining the harlequins in mass because the final act is infuriatingly vague because of course it is of course um but the harlequins would rather try and face destruction even if they have a slight hope of doing so oh yeah that i i would absolutely believe that like eldar from every group whether your craftworld world dracari or exodite would would hear about this thing opening and be like oh yeah i'm joined the harlequin because like we could potentially [ __ ] over slanesh and save our entire race like that's way more important than our petty squabbles with like xeno scum or the doopy ass humans like of of course you'd want to join the harlequin carla quinn's and try and like make the final act happen it saves your goddamn race and it [ __ ] over slanesh who every eldar hates cause duh i love how you say um uh the uh xenos and derpy ass humans as if they are aren't also zeno's tail dart oh well i guess that's true i guess eldar would see humans of uh but besides that uh there is the person the the fallen sorcerer speaks the law of the library is indeed arumand armin's biggest goal is to get into the black library i think there's a couple reasons why but i think he wants to undo the curse to the thousand suns that i was making mainly feet picks he can't get really picks because it's all just dust yeah all is dust so you can't have you know feet picks it's just like i tried to take feed pics but it's just a pile of dust but um yeah i was gonna say ahriman wanted to go to the black library it seems like he'd want to do it to make everybody not dust anymore and reverse the curse um because i think magnus is pretty [ __ ] pissed that he did it in the first place um so i would imagine yeah he'd want to find a reverse the curse spell or something in there but of course as a servant of zeach the harlequins want him gone gone gone i bet they want nothing to do with that [ __ ] yeah so naturally they uh he actually i think he got in i think he was actually able to get into the library but he was forced out by the harlequins shortly after damn how did he get in he found his way damn are you armin armin's got a big [ __ ] brain man that that man's got the biggest brain out there agreed i i know that i know he's a he's a hella psycher i just damn he just forked his way through the web way i'm just like yeah i found the black library no big deal uh i mean no not not no big deal he's been trying to do this for a [ __ ] while it's just he's been he's busy ryan it's kind of crazy that he actually did it with yeah with how absolutely impossible it sounds to find the black library without the aid of the harlequins that he did it in his lifetime well well he's not dust anyway that he did it in his lifetime is kind of impressive uh iron man got big brain yeah apparently he's megamind make a mind megamoi i've never actually seen that movie but i know the memes sort of it's actually really good yeah okay yeah um but besides that that's kind of where the harlequins are at the current moment uh preparing for their final act to deal with slaanesh and also gaining numbers and going around killing people and all that stuff but let's talk a little bit about the harlequin troops themselves and their war gear so well so like in the beginning i remember the first uh the harlequin players the uh a troop a singular troop is a natural like a the classic harlequin you know the normal thing you know in them uh a shadow seer is a harlequin psycher who are entirely centered around fear and confusion who use the manipulation of the mind as their weapon uh like they basically turn the enemy's six senses or five senses i guess they could create six times they feel like it uh against them they they will blind their eyes driving the mad uh gal like gouging massive wounds of like ptsd in their brains they're also like reading themselves in veils of illusion and trickery and mastery um they got some really good abilities on the tabletop they got like some strange like hallucinogenic grenades which are kind of crazy uh but they they do stuff like they reduce the range of your weapons which is very bizarre like they they get like pulled out they got some weird [ __ ] on tabletop it's pretty dope they look really cool too with the they've got kind of like uh uh almost a cobra commander vibe going on with sort of the uh the the mirrored mask and the and the shroud um sort of like a jester cobra commander deal and i kind of love it i i kind of like the way the uh i kind of like the way they look oh that is a really dope mini too that they have damn they're really cool yeah i wouldn't like to paint them but yeah oh god all the checkerboard [ __ ] that and it has to be perfect it has to be perfect checkerboard right yeah they don't they don't do golf checkerboards do uh do people just stencil that [ __ ] on normally with like an airbrush i was gonna say that's gotta be like just the easiest way to do it just get yourself a really precise stencil lay that [ __ ] on and just there's uh there's also the death gesture i told you about earlier uh the death gestures are also known as death heads are actually one of the few units in the harlequins that use a heavy heavy weapon okay because they're so damaging right yeah they want to be fast and they want to move fast they decide they're normally not using heavy weapons death gestures do they have slime called the shrieker cannon okay and a shrieker cannon uh is a trademark weapon of them as they can only as death gestures can only create and maintain them and instead of firing like a hail of projectiles like a shuriken can it fires one shot but the shot is has a virulent asym that causes the victim's blood vessels themselves to expand violently which will cause their body to create a small explosion that shower the other rest of their squad with pieces of their companion hence the name shrieker cannon making them shriek and freak the [ __ ] out holy [ __ ] that's that's dark yeah that shrieker cannon is dark are we sure that maugen raw isn't one it wasn't at one point one of these death gestures because they look so similar aside from his armor i are we sure that i don't know anything about the craft worldly boys okay because it's just the similarities seem so very apparent that i don't like anyway sorry go ahead keep keep going with the the the units well whenever we do end up doing a phoenix lords episode you know now the uh they're actually a little bit odd these these death gestures they stand apart from their harlequins where they play death in the mask and thus basically they walk aloof quote unquote from their brother like literally quote from their brother room they before really daring stunts and escape escapology the idea of like dicing with death is their fond of saying okay um they're a little cruel kind of a little comrade comrade kind of people where often they they like making funnies where they wait for an entire squad to think they're safe in a bunker and they fire one shot through like the door of the bunker and have a guy explode in the bunker and then just muffly in the background you hear ah screaming and they think they're like funny that's so [ __ ] up that's so [ __ ] up uh in their insane their kind of morbid amusement they've been known to dress up unconscious foes in the charred skin and bone of their fallen comrades oh they have a they arranged the bodies in funny positions oh that's so [ __ ] up that's funny oh no i don't they're weird i don't i don't like the whole desecration of the dead thing that's uh that's not nice but it's funny it's hot it's it's funny hahas sir it could be worse you could be caught by a knight lord or well yeah i guess or or any chaos factor or jakari in general yeah you could be a sofa you could be a sexual sofa for all of eternity so the other one and probably the coolest one in my opinion is something known as a solitaire a solitaire a solitaire like think of the game solitaire yeah yeah yeah i assume they work alone they do they roam the universe alone for most of their life occasionally joining a mask for a single performance or battle if they they fancy it um they they look a little different between their coat and their uh particular like devilish looking helmet um i think solitaires look by far the coolest out of all the harlequins um the thing is is that the solitaires are unlike other harlequins their souls are actually doomed to be devoured by slaanesh oh really unless the laughing god decides to i don't i don't [ __ ] know eldar [ __ ] eldar [ __ ] um no unless unless the laughing god deems it to intercede and try to stop it personally um but often the solitaire because of this distance themselves from other members of their troop or well uh when they're with a troop and is considered very bad luck to exchange words with a solitaire right um they never show okay go ahead go ahead no no no no no dk you go oh thank you sir thank you uh i i was gonna say so the reason that they are solitaire is because they're doomed and they don't really want to converse with the people that are not doomed and their soul isn't necessarily gonna go to slaanesh so they feel like uh they're they're they're more distant than their brothers and obviously um nobody wants to talk with them because they're doomed they don't want to get like the taint of slaanesh on them or something it's a superstition yeah it's uh they wanna it's considered a curse if you speak with them um in fact but they actually act a lot like blanks in a weird way i was about to ask you if they're like eldar blanks if they're like harlequin blanks see i don't know anything about eldar blanks because it's a it's a genetic defect based on the humans but if i read the the eggs right here it literally says psychers of every race even other eldar are known to be very depressed in the presence of a solitaire the mental landscape of assault hair is obviously disturbing to them psychic attacks on solitaires will almost always fall short and weapons which attack the enemy's mind such as the nero disruptor will simply have no effect they sound like eldar blanks they sound like eldar blanks that's exactly what they sound like shai also said they're doomed because they play the role of slaanesh herself in the play yeah once again i was about to get to that but so not but [ __ ] shy spoiled it again i was literally about to read that sentence does should i have your have your notes or something apparently she has my script that's the second time shai has blown a big reveal yes they are the only ones who can play the role of slaanesh in the plays they are the only ones allowed to that makes sense because i i assume nobody else would want to do it because superstition like slaanesh is the worst we all hate slinash none of us want our souls to go to slindash so why not get the doomed [ __ ] to do it because they're going to slash anyway so yeah i mean yeah i'm sure i'm sure there's a superstition that goes along with it as well like oh yeah you don't want to play as smash because you know um so uh that's and of course they have their different kinds of vehicles they have sky weaver star weavers and void reavers which are all just variants of the uh kind of drewcari vehicles a little bit they look like this oh yeah like the the skiffs the skiffs they have their own skiffs um as for their actual gear they have something called a hollow suit that's what they wear instead of thick armor plates they use a psychically advanced body suit which transforms the harlequins into a dazzling blur which is kind of the reason why they paint themselves the way they do it is a hollow field that turns them that completely removes their silhouette and it makes them into like a fractal light storm when they move they are a blur of prismatic color oh sick so they're nearly as hell they're nearly impossible to hit because they're just they're moving like an entity of of color of rainbow moving out at a time because you just can't see the [ __ ] oh that sounds so sick it's really really dope so that's what that's why they have the the checker uh board stuff it's to help it's to add more to it it's to to help with it oh that's so [ __ ] dope uh their mask themself is like known as an agathe uh a g-a-i-t-h a gaith it is uh or also known as a false face it is a small holographic device actually worn like a mask and it projects demonic visages and scenes of death onto the mask and it even has a short range psychic amplifier to increase the enemy's sensitivity to fear and death some of the masks like dread masks will often have the enemies worst fears displayed on the mask when they find the out through their mask's ability they have the rictus mask which is an aura of death masks of fear it's to project some of the most horrifying things to the person while they are currently in combat uh this is this is definitely that's so smart this is definitely like a like a yeah it's definitely like an oni yokai kind of thing here with the with the mask of of adjusting faces what's that old um that old [ __ ] like three mask horror story thing where they like that has like a smiling mask an angry mask and like a sad mask and like oh [ __ ] i don't know specifically for some reason uh ashura comes to mind but i don't think that's what it is uh i know i forget exactly yeah you know you know what i mean yeah i know the imagery you're talking about yeah they also have something called a flip belt which is a anti-gravity generator keyed to the mental command the wearer which makes them basically able to jump and fly over anything that isn't a skyscraper it basically is just like gravity never heard of it that's very handy it's very handy especially since they're already so goddamn quick if they can just turn off gravity for a little bit and just jump aside that's damn okay okay okay try says it's a wwe title built and it is if you notice on there on their waist it literally is a belt like on that picture you see up there you know how i know it's not a wwe title belt it isn't horribly designed that's how i know it's not a title belt from wwe have you seen those gaudy-ass pieces of [ __ ] that they make these it's terrible it was me slaanesh it was me all along it was slash that hit them with the car by god by god it was actually it's cake you mentioned keg rack behind the wheel it was me austin it's for the car it was me all along yep okay okay um now some of their weapons though are [ __ ] nuts so there's a couple of their armor is like their weapons have got to be nuts well for example they have slang called like the star bola which is three plasma charges at the end of a mesh weave of cords and once it uh it's heard in the scything arc tangling its target before its plasma charges explode with the fury of a dying sun whoa whoa they have a supernova weapon i mean it's more like the the heat of the grenades are really hot you know not like actually well you said it was like a dying star that's a [ __ ] supernatural theory of the stuff whatever oh okay fine still that's pretty [ __ ] wild they have fusion pistols which are uh cause the molecules of a target to hyper vibrate generate so much heat that their target bursts into flames before suddenly liquefying and then evaporating into gas form oh my god jesus christ that is oh my god that's a hell of a pistol holy [ __ ] the uh mistave is a shadow seer weapon and it channels their mental force to crush armor plates and shatter bones but against living victims a glancing blow will cause scrambles of receptions giving them contradictory illusions and reducing sight to a slow motion blur oh wow it's a barber pole pretty much yeah it's a little barber pool it's it's a peppermint stick now one of the nuttiest ones i'd say is the harlequins kiss the harlequins kiss is the most iconic weapon sometimes also just called the sting it is super horrifying is a sharpened tube attached to the forearm and it can be punched into the enemy's flesh where high tensile monofilament wires contained within the weapon uncoil and reduce the target's insides to a gory soup in the single harp oh god so they stab you with it and it goes like and then you your entire insides just mush oh wow that literally it's it's literally a blender oh my god it just blends your insides huh and you just oh god that uh that sounds really really painful um oh oh god so it's just it's just like these metal wires that come out and just start blending inside you essentially it's it's literally like imagine um imagine you left a fire hose on but imagine that with about like 2 000 tiny little molecular sized metal wires oh god it's awful it's awful it's awful awfully there's already there's also a couple of relics called the enigmas of the black library there's the mask of secrets which is a people who look upon the mask see distorted reflections of their own faults and failings the slightest doubt or regret twisted into a horrific swarm of phantasms that scream and wail as they claw the psyche of the victim those who wear the mask of secrets fear nothing while the mask remains upon their face yet it is said in the long run they must pay a terrible price for this temporary boon i i would imagine there is a you'd have to pay a hefty price because that sounds pretty op in even the slightest doubt is reflected in yeah i love the idea that their masks reflect the uh the their opponent's worst fears that's that's really cool yeah it's a lot very it like you know yeah so dope i'm loving the harlequins by the way i i mean i don't really have a whole lot else to talk about i was about to end the episode but yay artifacts but hey yes i mean i mean sure all right here's the crescendo the masterwork shuriken pistol first bestowed upon the true match of the veiled path it was a gift gifted by the wonder of the webway who members of the mass claimed was none other than the laughing god himself when the pistol's trigger is pulled micro distortion engines engage in its housing uh the effect is to step the crescendo's wielder slightly ahead of time accelerating the weapon and wielder alike and allowing an impossible volley of firepower to be unleashed whoa so that gun literally is like a a timey whimey [ __ ] and yeah speeds you for wow that's uh that's pretty [ __ ] great it's a tidy whimey [ __ ] it's timey whiny [ __ ] it sends you into the future and impossible hail of bullets i'm assuming that's why it's called a crescendo uh this um they have the neurodisruptor beams of energy that uh burn away tissue instantly but if they get if they get hit by it they have no sign of injury except for their sudden immediate violent convulsions as they tumble to the floor and start seizing up oh god okay yeah there's some [ __ ] the harlequins are wild oh my god i mean even if they didn't have the final act that could like save all of the eldar from slaanesh i would still if i was an eldar i'd still want to join because they are [ __ ] dope they're badass dude all these crazy weapons all their crazy armor anti-grav belt uh a dope ass mask that uh um portrays your victim's fear on it and you got that wild suit that turns you into a just a blister of colors yo the harlequins are dope yeah it's it's really cool man i the harlequins have a really dope aesthetic they've got some really dope stuff it just sucks that they have a grand total of about nine models and that's it oh why do they only have nine models is it just because gw doesn't like money because the like from everything i've seen so far like the harlequins should be selling like hotcakes so well okay so for one harlequins are an incredibly weird uh like army they play very bizarre and honestly they're not very fun to fight uh because they're fun to play as but the idea is that they [ __ ] with you they don't play by your rules they have their own rules and while doesn't make them more power or anything it does make them very like annoying at times because it's their schtick which i guess is more accurate but whatever um but they have like the shadows here the troop master the death jester the solitaire and then the vehicles and the regular troops and that is all they have for data sheets damn in fact they have zero named characters except for one his name is pigeonel and you take him with sisters because it's the ephrail stern one damn well that's unfortunate they're not even getting a codex in the next um thing they're being worked into the eldar codex with craft worlds oh boy that's do you foresee them ever getting their own shtick and like because like are they or maybe are they really does do do warhammer fans really like the harlequins and is there any chance that because there's so many harlequin fans that in the future lots of harlequin [ __ ] or is it just like nah they're just gonna forever be a side note there is a lot of the harlequins are probably one of if not the least played army in the game uh due into fact because of how hard they are to paint how weird they are to play and how few minis there are but harlequin fans are big fans of harlequins um i'm assuming that maybe they're putting them all together in the book because maybe the craft worlds and harlequins are getting a little bit together to start doing the final act a bit more um but that is wishful thinking and we'll see when the codex actually comes out okay besides that besides that that's all i got for you uh harlequins uh we i'm sure i'm saving some of the masks for a separate episode we could talk about specific harlequin masks later but for now uh that's that we're uh we're we're done for today we're done for today that is good we're done i i dare say i am now a fan of the harlequins have i done it have i made you an eldar fan you have made me specifically a fan of the eldar harlequins they sound [ __ ] dope i've literally loved everything about them i love how you i love how you were like don't push your luck kid [Laughter] there was literally there was nothing about this episode that i was like damn harlequins are cool damn that harlequin thing is cool oh [ __ ] this other harlequin thing is really cool too i dare say i'm a harlequin fan now well all right we made a harlequin fan out of dk episode complete straight strength returning morale uh good wow well said just wait a minute you actually like all you actually like most eldar you liked your car you did the dinosaur once i think i do actually no i made you a girl i made you an eldar fan i think you did no well the exercises are super cool because they're just fine and [ __ ] dinosaurs the dracario we both agree that there's drewkari are really cool with all their factions [ __ ] i don't remember if i like the craft world or not i hate you well [ __ ] you i hate you why sorry you were the chosen one you you you're the one that gave me all the cool lore about them you're about to destroy the craft worlds not joining them ah you know what [ __ ] you the only named harlequin you have is from my army get [ __ ] on [ __ ] i don't care the everything else they have is really cool yeah it is pretty cool give me that harlequin kiss give me that it is my opinion it's the imperium who is evil then you are lost anyway uh close we won't recite all of uh oh my god you're such a [ __ ] do the outro let us go home classy [Music] oh

Channel: Adeptus Ridiculous

Views: 225,812

Keywords: warhammer, wh40k, warhammer 40000, grimdark, tabletop, comedy, games workshop, lore, 40k lore, adeptus ridiculous, eldar, warhammer eldar, Cegorach

Id: sIVK0G_F18g

Length: 62min 52sec (3772 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 26 2022