*DEATH METAL STARTS HELL YEAAAAAAAAAAAH* *Machiavellian laughter* It's me It's me *coughing* *coughing* *starts to die* *his life flashes right before his eyes* *his life flashes right before his eyes* *rip pewds* Poodiepie: the greatest gamer on YouTube. I have the most subscribers which means I have the most SKILL! *Weird accent* Aaah, oh this game is a little hard ! *Weird accent* Aaah, oh this game is so little hard ! Ooooh, booohooo, *Oh booohooo. Boeoheohoehhooo It's just like-a Dark Souls. I asked you to challenge me for real. I ask you "Hey give me a real game, It's just like a dog. So I asked you to challenge me for real. I asked you : Give me a real challenge." "Give me a real challenge" * high pitched voice* hey pewdiepie you should play i wanna be the guy, its a really hard game, its just like dark souls. * high pitched voice* hey pewdiepie you should play i wanna be the guy, its a really hard game, its just like dark souls. HEADPHONE WARNING!!!!!!
*Loud Megaman music* Aaaaaaaaaah... AHHHH *looks at headphones* Jesus Christ
Jesus Christ Jesus Christ *Game squeals* I wanna to be the guy, the movie, the game. Want to be the guy the movie the game, so you jump with shift what the fuck are these controls ? So, you jump with "Shift". What the f*ck are these controls? I must be able to shoot then. Okay I can. Okay, okay fine. OH, The game is hard, they say. OO- *dies the first try* Whatever zero deaths, let's do that again. HeeeeEEeeyY WOAH OKAY HERE WE GO *mocking voice* Oh, The game is so hard. OH. *mocking voice*The game is so hard. Oh Oh, wow, look how hard that game was. Wow, look how hard that game was Easy trap -- anyone can see through that sh*t. Get the f*** away from me, trap. Alright, next level--*failure #3* Zero deaths!! This is the easiest game I've ever played in my life. I just have to stand here. Oh, wow. Oh wow that is Super hard That is SUPER hard. That's, like, straight up impossible. Alright, I wonder what the next one is going to do. *DISAPPOINTED* Oh, I gotta run Oh, wow, this-- OooOH. What the f*ck was that? Shut up, what the f*ck? How the hell am I gonna be able to do that? Ooo, that one touched my nip ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I like it. Do it again please. Come back! I love you, I LOVE YOU, please stay with me I wanna-- Oh sh*t. Missed me b*tch. This is not hard. This is memorizing a series of patterns, which is child's play anyone can do this. Anyone. Give me a challenge that requires skill with these magical fingers, okay, give me that f*ck you What the f*ck am I doing wrong there? It just hits me anyway, what the f*ck am I supposed to do? My God, this is so f*cking boring. I have to wait for this shit every f*cking time. Oh, wait, I can't swear because the video will get demonetized. I mean-- no! This is--go!! GO Jump over there. You didn't jump!! You mOROn! Gogogogogogogogogo You didn't jump what the f*ck is wrong with you?! I get it now I get it. I got it before I started. I just wanted to pretend that I'm bad just so you feel bad about yourself. Just so you feel like oh, maybe he's not that good. I'm f*cking good. Okay watch this; first time I've ever played this game. I bet you had to watch tutorials to play this game. *High-pitched* Oh wow! I beat darksouls on my third try! Yeah, did you look online people playing it on YouTube Yeah, did you look online people playing it on YouTube because then it doesn't fucking count YOU didn't jump oh wait because then it doesn't f*cking count. DIDN'T JUMP.... oh wait, He can double jump... oooooh *pewdipie discover how to play* oOH
*pewdipie discover how to play* Oh, i see, you can play with EZ mode. Fine Fine, 'cuz i am the guy! Double jump, more like bitch jump Alright, look at this Why it's not coming now? no skill how am I supposed to make it all the way?!? how oh my God this game is so dumb to play and be Absolutely loved that's offensive there every other game in the world You don't have to think not played a zelda game before they straight up. Oh my God that's so offensive Go go go go Hit me How do I get there? 'right, how do I get there? I just walk down I dump what happened to double jumping huh, what happened to double jumping huh does it count as a jump Did you walk off idiocy this game is STAHPID STAHPID game you stupid Did you walk off idiocy this game is stupid stupid game you stupid ! I mean it's barely scratch your surfaces I mean this.. "thing" oh, I get it. I get it now ! I get it now, lookatme lookatme lookatme *cue weebanese* Okay, look and then we go back. Oh *boring censored content* This is the first stage So I'm free to walk here now, but as soon as I hit a certain point... The "thing" activates... there. So I'm free to walk here now, but as soon as I hit a certain point *Genius* How am I supposed to make that jump how how am I suppose to make that HAW jumP *no skill again* How is that even physically possible? It's way, too... There must be a way with these, these brown things in the back that must be a way with them. There's some secret to them. Oh I know I got it. I got it before you got it shush you shush you I got it*alright we get it* I got it. Okay. I don't need you to tell me oh*high pitched voice* PEWDIEPIE WHAT YOU NEED TO DO *frustrated people* OH pewdipie, what u need to do is...It's so Obvious. It's so obvious, pewdie It's so Obvious. It's so obvious PEWDIE *high-pitched's pewds voice again* OOOOOOOOH *dying whale noise* OHHHH No, no, no no no no, look at that *A genius is born* *censored content* GENIUS! SO SMARD! you see that *censored* So smart you see that shit *frustrated people* OH I beated... it was really easy ! Okay Okay, can we move on now easy this game is easy you see how we haven't hit the save yet. OH God Okay, can we move on now easy this game is easy you see how we haven't hit the save yet. OH God There is gonna be a trap here by the same *Censored* You not on my *censored content* watch You not on my fucking watch Got it got it. Oh wow these spikes fell down ! Oh, what is this? We're gonna shoot up. Oh Got it got it. Oh wow this spike fell down. Oh, what is this? We're gonna shoot up. Oh Wow, oh, what did the apples go into attack me n- *what* LOL Oooh wow, let me guess the water makes me survive You don't die in water great now what the fuck do i do then? You don't die in water great, now what the *censored content* do I do then ? *exasperated pewds* There best not be two apples in that spike if there's two apples in this spike this guy is not gonna be happy That best not be two apples in that spike if there's two apples in that spike this guy is not gonna be happy u bad Ok, we got it WHOOW Ok, those apples can NOT be trusted They're going to shoot VERTICALLY *shows up horizontally* aah? aah? *genius* That's right Ok, you can't shoot the apples, but that's fine mother fucker
*sorry censored content again* *sorry censored content again* Since when does apple kill anything since when does apple will kill anything Shut up appl es tuck ! What I say Shut up apples duck what I say Is anyone ever died from an apple? A child died in 1921. The cause of her death was a stomach ache after eating green apples, so yes! We need to trigger this apple. This game is about triggering apples Look at the pure gaming skill, okay. Look. Oh, wow the apples. See? I'm one step ahead Look at the pure gaming skill, okay. Look. Oh, wow the apples .see I'm one step ahead I've thoght that they'll go vertically, but no they did not. (is pewdz related to science?) Oh, god, that apple i don't trust for 1 second great. greeeeeaaaaaat Just what I wanted ! Alright, let's take it easy Take it easy. Let's take it easy. We can do this oh *Creepy ''aaah''* aaaaaaaaaaaah hah *boom* Shut up you have to trigger all the apples then the to comet won't come Shut up you have to trigger all the apples then the to comet won't come it's an old trick my Grandpa told me all about it. Hey pewds. If there's ever a comet, trigger all the apples. Grandpa told me all about it. Hey poods. If there's ever a comet, trigger all the apples I I know were you thinking '' oh pewdipie giving up now''. You can't do it. I could do anything I want Know were you thinking oh pewdiepie is giving up now. You can't do it. I could do anything. I want *Long Censorship* *swear words* AAH you can't make that jump Not today comet . ALRIGHT Fine coming you win this round. Not today comet . ALRIGHT Fine coming you win this round.*High pitched voice* the game *High pitched voice*
"ooh the game is hard, because you have to learn how the game works" "I looked it up online" "But that's fine because I'm good at game" come on comet. Come on comet come on comet But that's fine because I'm good at deep come on comet. Come on coming come on come it Don't you want to live forever? *swearing* *censored* comet *swearing still* Okay, so we got to trigger these two apples by jumping to them as close as humanly pahssible Okay, so we got to trigger these two apples by jumping to them as close as humanly pahssible Not today not today apples not today not any *swearing* day because I am the apple Master of disaster. Oh comet. Oh comet because I am the apple Master of disaster. Oh comet. Oh comet Oh, oh no, not that comet anything Oh, oh no, not that comet anything It *censored* following you are you kidding me ?! What the hell It *censored* following you are you kidding me ?! What the hell Not today, Mr. Apples. I'm Gonna Trigger this one too I don't have time for you and your *swearing* Oh my Lord, okay here it comes, Mr.Comet, please My Lord, okay here it comes, Mr.Comet, please OH NO ! No... NOOO !! Nej (Swedish for No) Nej (Swedish for No) AAah It's getting on It's getting on *Focused pewds* Oh jesus *Hardcore gaming activated* I like that when u die :) NNNNNNEEEEEEEEJJJJJJJ *back to pewds's voice* AAAAH SO CLOSE ! ZERO DEATH! *rip mic* Come on come on. Come on. Come on. Oh OH SO CLOSE ! ZERO DEATH! Come on come on. Come on. Oh Oh, this game is so hard. Oh, it keeps FOLLOWING ME. IT KEEPS FOLLOWING ME This game is so hard. Oh, it keeps following me. It keeps following me WHYYY *desesparated voice* WHYYYYYY Why do u do this ? why ?? D: -*incoherent mumbling* AH,THAH *censored content*. Just sit here. You can't touch me here you can't oh *censored content* Just stay here ! You can't touch me oh aaah haha! haha! *finally* Bye, oh, oh *facepalms* oh no ! You can't change the... ???? Leave me alone ! Leave me alone !!! leave me alone byeeee byE Okay, all right. Let's take it really nice and *censored content* easy I can shoot Can I jump on link ? Can I jump a link? I I can't jump here. Okay? I'm safe here. Oh my God. Okay, okay. Let's go in this *swearing* Save, shut up about your sword old man. Thank you oh my god aaah my Gah Oh my god. Oh my, *japanese GAH* What is this game? That's so easy.Now i'm playing it Oh my God*squeak*, what is this game? That's so easy now. I'm playing it Gimme the swo- *censored content* The game called me a retard *censored content* You can't... I'm ending this episode here, but this is not over this is just the beginning, apples *creepy laught* You think you can beat me? The best *censored content* player in the world? Leave a like, if you want part 2 squad Fam Jujitsu... out
