guy in vrchat talks about losing his wife

what is this avatar supposed to be oh it's a cool spot he was like he was like the mascot for 7 up back in the 90s someone in the 97 hey let's put sunglasses on the red spot on seven up i have a weird affinity for him because for like nostalgic reasons so oh my god squad is just like blasting these hermit crabs away because i had such an affinity for a cool spot my wife got me like i made like promotional figures and like toys of school spot and there's one specific one that's very um cool it's it's much higher quality than what you'd expect and um she surprised me with it for uh one of my birthdays a few years ago so i'm actually well i'm talking to you guys it's sitting next to my monitor so i'm staring at it while i'm cool this thing is all like ridiculous this obsession if there's anyone out there who loves cool spot as much as you i hope i hope that group finds you do you drink a lot of seven up no i actually hates that i don't like it um i had like because of the covet stuff my job has been all remote which is kind of good um but also kind of bad because that means i'm kind of stuck at home with all this stuff going on but so yeah i mean sorry if i kind of go out of order for things oh no problem um of like explaining a story that's okay but i actually met her um when we were like in our mid teens on like deviantart online david r used to have like uh like forums and like chat rooms and stuff and i had like a small circle of friends there and keep in mind this is like you know more early internet so they're not not everyone is on the internet yet you know so they usually have smaller uh circle of people but i like met her and we became like instantly super best friends and we used to like send each other messages about how what we're thinking what's going on in our lives like we would send each other these like you know artsy fartsy like write-ups of like what we're thinking and what we're dreaming about because she was dealing with some stuff emotionally with her family and i had my stuff going so we would just kind of find an escape and she would talk up to me about what she was dreaming about or this sounds like kind of like we were like you know we were on drugs or something but no we would talk about like textures and like i'll be like visualize art and you know that kind of stuff we used to watch movies over skype like we would both get a movie and then we would like press play at the same time and watch it together and um would introduce each other to the different movies when i became friends with her and then it got more to the fact that we were like you know long distance dating i really wanted to make my life all about just getting to her and um and i did i like moved um a few years after we were like online dating i don't know what the term you want to use is we were very very very inseparable eventually like moved together we got married uh so we were together technically i guess for like 12 years um overall i i want to say two and a half weeks ago uh she uh she passed away so uh yeah that's what i've been dealing with it's a really strange thing um unfortunately a lot of my friends aren't where i live now because we moved from like a state to a different state like two years ago and most of my friends are in the other state or they're over or they're overseas or something and no one can come and be with me i guess there's no other way to say it other than instant heart and like there is an investigation in terms of um you know like uh postmodern kind of stuff currently it's unknown like currently it's basically like a weird accent like in the sense that nobody knows what happened like it could have been something undiagnosed so it wasn't like something suspicious that happened that that's the investigation yeah i know it was just like one one day she's there that night and the other night in the morning she's not you know i like found her and um and you know i just called the cops and all that stuff happened and you know they kind of looked around the house and you know they took her and like a day later or a day or two later they said that they couldn't find anything wrong so they would have to further test what were those first moments like you know um you kind of you know how in the movies they show when something like that happens it's like a bomb goes off and you kind of like can't hear anything you kind of can't make sense of stuff and you kind of just go on this weird autopilot kind of thing your brain kind of puts you in the zone and that's exactly what happened like i when it happened i kind of just left my body and i couldn't um think of anything i couldn't like you know people were talking to me like the cops were talking to me all these things were happening and i kind of like blanked out i kind of don't remember a lot of it and comes back you know i remember things that happened that day or whatever because her and i had a very intense like emotionally dependent i would say like relationship like could have been because we both kind of had like our issues and we kind of depended on on each other for that and um when we were kids she um used to call us like conjoined twins we had this whole romantic idea i guess that we were like you know we were like conjoined twins it kind of felt like that like um a part of you has you know just vanished and it makes no sense to your brain have you ever been this alone before um yeah before i met her because you share your kind of life with someone for that long and you kind of create your own world which we did we kind of bubbled ourselves in our own world so you kind of feel like uh you created a world and now you're the only person in that world as a witness or something um were you able to have a funeral for her with all of the social distancing um there is kind of like a ceremony land but we're not sure i don't know how that's going to pan out um it's also not something she really cared about or wanted so it's more so for the people who want to do it so i'm not that that's not really a big deal i guess right now because again because of all the covet stuff happening and all that stuff so it's like a weird situation it's very hard to know what to do with my life now in the sense of like everything was tied to her these days i feel like i kind of just do things on auto i kind of feel like a shell that's the best way to describe it because my entire life was tied to her and we were very close and um we thought we were going to do everything together and we got all these plans and like we were very like i said emotionally codependent we both loved art and like um movies and all these things it's um you know like one of the losses isn't just losing her it's also losing our world or like our life together it's kind of hard to explain i guess but you just kind of have this um world that you create you know so i feel like i'm left alone with that world it's a weird feeling when you're that kind of mentally connected to someone and your kind of brain is trained to always for them to always be there and to be should be emotionally like a part of you that's kind of how i feel right now in the sense that like i've lost like this literal part of me of my like kind of soul or something how i want to phrase it days sometimes are very quick they go by really fast and sometimes days are really really slow i i definitely go through phases of missing her a lot and kind of like not my brain doesn't want to admit it um that she's gone my brain doesn't want to say that you know like i keep having dreams where she's okay and i wake up and of course she's not there what is the point in doing anything now is what i questioned myself because everything that we did together was kind of like we were kind of just starting our lives so now it's kind of like what do i do without her there like what do i do you know anything i do from now on she's not gonna be there for it you know like um and that's like a really hard feeling um to like come to come to terms yeah i think this is the worst thing that could one of the worst things that could ever happen to someone on this level um you know like i i would wish this would never happen to anyone ever you know it does awful um you know like um it's also you know i don't know yeah it's just very awful i would not want this to happen to him anything she collected was like very meaningful to her she had a whole story about why she had it you know i kind of feel like a responsibility to those things because she would want me to have them and care about them but it's also this concept that i'm gonna have those things kind of forever and it's also might be like a burden to uh kind of emotionally deal with that whenever i see those things but i'm hoping in the future i can just remember them more positively right now it like hurts too much to see those things there's also an element of the times that you do feel better you kind of feel guilty about it because there's a part of you that's like you're not allowed to feel better because this is just so awful aside from that i kind of just have to sit around for now and see how i feel am i gonna move what's gonna happen so it is kind of like a one day at a time thing she like dealt with a lot of her own like phobias and anxieties and you know things like that but she always like put those aside to like help me and be there for me and take care of me if you talk to any of her friends they all remember her as like she would just drop anything to help you even if she hardly knew you she could have met you yesterday and she would just help you so anytime i get sad there's a part of my brain that expects to go to her for comfort that's been a very hard thing to deal with i'm usually very conservative person in the sense of talking about things and um this talking on vr chat about these kind of things is very out of character for me but i wanted to do it because i feel like i don't want what we had to kind of die with me it feels good to talk about it as opposed to i could just simply not talk to anyone and kind of just shut myself off and just die eventually and you know but i think that would be fair and um and she always wanted me to be more open if you could tell everyone in the world one thing what would it be uh it just sounds super corny but no matter how much you love someone you could easily just lose them one day so you really have to make sure your priorities are like straight and that you really make sure that every day is like doing something to like love that person you

Channel: Syrmor

Views: 608,889

Keywords: vr, syrmor, vrchat, virtual reality, vrchat stories, people in vrchat, guy in vrchat, girl in vrchat, anime

Id: 6HFvjtnPU28

Length: 9min 56sec (596 seconds)

Published: Mon May 18 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/EnderWin]

I think you should introduce him to the other guy with a similar case. I think it'd be more comforting for him that way.

[u/boomer343]

I would like to see a follow up with this guy in the future.