Growing Up With Strict Parents [Part 2] (r/AskReddit)

what's a dead giveaway that someone has been raised in a strict household they don't laugh at their mistakes or they got teased for being sensitive to criticism so now they are quick to point out there flaws all the time before anyone else can and then they laugh it up so everyone knows they have a sense of humor a lot of people here are saying things like anxiety and sheepish mess but I've found a lot of people from strict households just become better liars and often are incredibly defiant if they feel you're telling them to do something they will fight it tooth and nail my sister at 27 will refuse to do the simplest of things if I don't ask politely just become better liars and often are incredibly defiant yes I became a better and better liar over time I could easily lighter my mom's face and get away with it because when you're not allowed to do simple harmless things you learn to just do what you want anyway and take extreme measures to not be caught self-criticism and compliance at least that's true in my case and I was raised in a strict household until my parents separated I tend to be perfectionistic about my behavior I don't like to make any mistakes at all and get very angry at myself if I do make any mistakes I tend to follow rules be inhibited and accommodating and I fail to rebel against Authority but I do rebel against my peers and prefer not to fit in I've always thought of these as being markers of a strict household if you were raised in a household that prioritize behavior and doing things right then you tend to treat yourself the same way as an adult oh also I'm only really comfortable in situations where I know my role and I know the rules so I'm very comfortable in formal situations such as work but very uncomfortable in informal situations such as work parties or any other social event where I don't have a clear role really because I don't feel like I know the rules for socializing of course that's because there aren't any rules you're just supposed to be a person there's no objective or direction to it but I'm very uncomfortable with there being no rules give Emmy rules oddly I'm comfortable on dates again I feel like I know what my Rolle is somehow I know what's happening and what kinds of expectations there may be so I tend to be very confident when dating but fortunately I do not see dates as authority figures I see them as peers so I won't be compliant it's kind of uncomfortable with how much I relate to your post especially the part about needing a role to play and being so used to structure to the point of not being comfortable in informal casual settings I come from a strict household and I am very sneaky and I have become very good at making up white lies but I am also constantly apologizing for everything and I am very jumpy I'm actually so mad at how good I've become at lying I value honesty and all of that sort of stuff but lying just comes so easily I've also got the reputation of a trustworthy guy and I've been told I have an honest face I feel like such a goddamn fraud sometimes my friends used to make fun of me for getting up at 8:00 a.m. on Saturday to deep clean my apartment I hadn't lived with my folks for about five years mid to this day Saturday morning is time for chores and the consequences for missing chores is just something I cannot comprehend I've been told multiple times that I'm the cleanest bachelor that anyone has ever met fear of being rejected wants others know your true bad nature always feeling like you are not good enough if yourself worth growing up is entirely dependent on your ability to conform to a particular set of rules and live up to an unrealistic or unhealthy standard it is very easy to feel like you are fundamentally a bad person when you no longer follow those rules it thus is difficult to develop your own person and feel confident in your own skin and be sure your honest self to other people when you feel like that self is fundamentally bad and expects rejection sounds like me I only recently started to get over that when I was a kid I used to pray to God to let me stop being a bad person low self-esteem constantly concerned with how others perceive you like more than the normal amount hard to quantify constant apologies avoids confrontation to the point where they may lie your clock what clocker that one wasn't me you didn't see me do that or actively seeks a confrontation to get it over with I broke your clock so sorry man I'll pay you back as soon as bla bla bla there's no middle ground just an extreme lack of ability as an adult to make decisions because they were never allowed to make any oh I was allowed to make decisions except it usually meant guess what we have already decided or else I would hear an entire lecture of why it was bad and why I should feel bad about it fear of authoritative voices and people I know people who are genuinely anxious not because of abuse but fear of disappointing others when I hear my parents call my name I can feel my blood pressure spiked personally I'm afraid to help with any household chores when I'm of someone else's house like doing the dishes after dinner because I might do them wrong and then the host would be upset with me anything which I need to do whether it's schoolwork work for my job or something that needs doing around the house I'll try to do when no one is around or where no one can see I know the person will like the finished products but if they see me working on it they might get upset that I'm not doing it the right way for me this extends to when someone is teaching me something I want them to show me how they do it exactly and then leave me to it alone if I'm being watched I will get things wrong especially when learning something they are questioning their decisions often mostly to themselves a couple friends have pointed out that I became a fairly good liar after my mom left and my dad suddenly decided he was going to be overly strict I had to cover for my sister to her last landlord and our friend that lived with us was absolutely baffled by the ease with which I came up with lies and delivered them to his face I hate lying and I do avoid it as much as possible but I'm terrified of confrontation especially with older men as my dad was terrifying when he was angry so if I can get around it with a lion no one gets hurt I may choose to being jumpy people always laugh when I jump as they say something loudly and unexpectedly but the origins of that aren't really that funny even hearing someone stop to raise their voice not even starting to yell can easily send me into fight-or-flight mode because my father is prone to sudden violent outbursts of anger my heart rate goes up every time I hear someone unlocking the front door of the apartment I live in for me it's the garage door heart always sinks for a sec they normally show a bit more respect to not offend anyone usually more worried about what other people may think asking for permission to do just about everything they apologize excessively they're always the first person to leave when hanging out and their parents always chaperoned at school functions in high school I still get nervous whenever I watch TV at my parents house as a teenager I had stopped watching TV altogether for fear of my dad walking in the room and asking what is this and is it about God or I don't like this this isn't good turn it off basically any TV show post 1970 was off limits three things from my own childhood that I'm constantly working on obedience everything will be done and done perfectly ask them to jump and they won't question how high they will just jump as hard and as high as they can and pray that it is to your liking reserved they are quiet unless they are being spoken to they will not speak unless they were specifically invited they won't show up to a party or group explosive anger it takes a lot to make them show their anger but when they do it is highly explosive in violence generally towards objects this is learned from the parent check check check crap they can't yell because loudness has been frightened out of them from a very young age took a drama class with one girl and we all had to practice yelling she couldn't do it like physically couldn't do it and broke down in tears trying and the teacher just took her asylum said wow honey someone did this to you do you know that I had a similar thing I take classical singing lessons my teacher and I was struggling to get me to use all the voice I can muster not just keeping it to him moderate polite level at one point he said to me I know that when you were a little girl you were taught to be quiet to not make a fuss to not take up space you need to unlearn that now on the flip side I was raised in a somewhat strict religious household and sometimes see normal secular family behavior as wildly permissive you were allowed to go anywhere alone with your girlfriend when you were a teenager Roe what do you mean you just decided you didn't want to go to church when you were 16 your parents didn't force you to go you could pick out all your own clothes and your mom lets you dye your hair I once had my dad completely lose his crap when he walked in on my new boyfriend at the time half laying on my bed like we were sitting on the edge and then lay down and our legs were still dangling off the side and we were a three feet apart otherwise I was twenty fricking 1 years old Arkan summit Lars at the drop of the Hat if they sense they might be in trouble comes from kids with strict parents getting really good at planning out complex stories and lies to cover their tracks when they decide to stray outside of the strict household rules can I go to the bathroom what a freak do you think this is prison ha ha it's down the hall to the left wincing entirely too much while reading these posts they are genuinely in shock and awe when they witness normal affectionate displays of parenting or sad I get sad even when watching normal families on movies TV etc they really worry about curfews in my town rural Ohio when we were in high school the local police would pull us over for no reason other than curfew checks if they saw someone out driving at 11 p.m. who look too young they were getting stopped also they were super strict about the rules regarding how many passengers you can have at sixteen strokes 17 the police were bonus strict parents being really uptight at other people's houses not disrupting or moving anything even if it means not having a place to sit worrying about where to place things like jacket or a glass not asking for anything making sure your friend asked and double-checked with their parent that it was okay for them to have you over lack of confidence strict parents damaged a child's concept of self-worth and confidence even when these children grow up they depend on others around them for opinion and can't make decisions on their own I am one of these people this thread is making me tear up so many realizations are hitting me about my upbringing why I am Who I am and why I act certain ways if they come to your house and ask for a drink they won't accept grab something from the fridge as an option one does not simply open another's fridge pretty sure that's just an overall thing only if I know someone well or it's a party will I just open a fridge I've found that's having a total disconnect from others or understanding of a lot of basic things hearing friends talk about their childhoods now I find it extremely odd they did so much together as families they got along with their siblings went on many trips got to do what they want get what they want it makes me nervous when talking to people cause they ask about my childhood and when I explained it I see nothing wrong but they get this look on their face like they're at a funeral or something it's just harder making connections to people cause you can guess yourself a lot and are constantly afraid of disappointing others most of the time it's when I meet people who weren't allowed to watch The Simpsons or Family Guy growing up perhaps immediate obedience in regards to authority figures this excludes questioning and/or outwardly defying authority from time to time and feeling anxious when visiting a friend's home or the home of a stranger where you don't already know the rules and whatnot I know for me personally mostly as a child I was amazed that so many of my friends were raised in households with looser rules than the one in which I was raised for instance many of my childhood friends walked around the house with their shoes on which I could not believe and when I would offer to help with the after supper the shoes as I was taught the parents would smile and shake their heads and tell me that it wasn't necessary in that I could go play this is me and I hate it I love my friend to death but I'm so god damned awkward when I'm at her apartment and it makes me feel like complete crap my parents strictness with me has made it so I've never even felt comfortable in my own home and unfortunately contributes to my discomfort around people I love it's a nightmare really not wanting to disappoint others I get so nervous I'm doing something wrong all the time also if your parents are immigrants you tend to relate to other people with immigrant parents because they all want to have doctors lawyers and such as children African parents man mine weren't even the worst they're great to be honest especially compared to my friends if they're sneaky never expresses emotion bottles em up I would know I am one of those kids one time someone told me to stop saying sorry so much and my response was I'm sorry they complain about getting an A there was this one kid who usually got a for maths he raged when he got today crap that was me I remember coming home once with a 19.5 on xx great in mouth my dad scolded me because I didn't get 20 out of 20 surprise when parents stand up for their kids no matter what they do I still don't understand how people can tell their parents everything about their life I'm at the point where I don't even tell them the good things that happen I don't know a lot of TV shows and actors from when I was growing up I basically lived under a rock greats even of its high it's not good enough nothing is ever good enough if it's good then you did your job if it's not everyone is going to know you are a fraud raised in a very strict household telltale sign I rarely smile fun is one of those words I barely use I don't find the joy in much of anything I do and the kicker as I don't cur I was raised in Spanish household where my father had the last say and my mother made the rules be in a dark home work immediately you get home misbehave when I got grounded I got put in the extra bedroom with four white walls and a bed I could not leave except to go to school or the bathroom the only thing I could do to get away was play baseball up until I graduated high school but because we moved to a different state I had no clue where I wanted to go to college I had my life set when I lived in Florida finished my senior year as an amazing player I have trophies and medals and carp to prove it with no future me as a human now I have a horrible attitude I can't hold a job relationships are difficult I hate you I promise I'm a loner and have zero friends cause I pushed them all away at some point it's hard but I don't care it'll just get beyond it if they were not allowed to watch Forrest Gump because it had drugs and sex in it personally I thought that Forrest Gump was a more tame movie compared to others that are bad for kids to watch not being able to say no because of fear shame and guilt the expectation to perform often makes the choice for them and it makes it so hard to say no currently in a strict household I'm not allowed to do that we'll get in trouble I can't go because of my parents you're allowed to do that sorry I got grounded that's too late I have to be back for curfew formally from a strict household oh I wasn't allowed to do that I never tried that before about something very common I don't know that very famous actor never heard of it I never stayed up that late I wasn't allowed to watch MTV growing up while I didn't allow myself to watch MTV growing up after they stopped playing music this is the goodest flyboy he will bring you ten years of happiness in exchange for a like on this video I hope you enjoyed the video if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people [Music]

Channel: UE Stories

Views: 47,127

Keywords: #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh, strict, parent, parenting, education, household

Id: F2V9mPfVKXo

Length: 17min 27sec (1047 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 19 2019