Graham Norton Funniest Moments (20)

somebody took a picture of the two of you there you are you know what's interesting every picture that I saw of that day didn't have the other side of Meryl her husband was sitting on the other side of her it's like every photographer got the memo don't you take this [ __ ] [Laughter] feeling the cold there the jet-set it's freezing outside I'm you know I'm trying to get it I'm not a big jazz fan but I have to over New York so you have to work and what's going from acting into music is one thing but then Michael music was your first love was it not yeah yep you couldn't really classify it as a band there was only two of us so you know he was his name was Michael - so Michael and Michael that's right yeah did you have a name I'm obviously Mike didn't actually we never got around to getting a name I think Sargasso Sea was something that I was [Laughter] looking a bit through the Atlas it was a heavy metal band so Sargasso seems quite apt yeah we didn't heavy metal yeah so unlike what you guys see in the future Michael play like a heavy metal stars we've been trying I've been putting out there did you do gigs we did one gig in Dingle I it was it was chloroquine oh yes they love heavy bear yeah well it was a pub - it was we were supposed to be busking with electric guitars and it's always raining in Ireland so that was kind of it didn't really work we convinced the pub to let us come in at lunchtime and play heavy metal could you just turn it down a bit just playing unplugged [Applause] this idea of kind of mothers and daughters and we wondered if there were any single girls in our audience who hadn't had good advice from their mothers about romantic affairs and we came across a little called Caroline now where's Caroline well there is Caroline hello now how old were you when this happened about 10 about 10 so you went to your mother and you asked her about say yes all right and she told me that it's babies are formed when a man and woman give you to their tight hug and is a tickly feeling in the woman's pregnant people try to tickle you you might get pretty R you're your top celebrity agony aunt so what we what we do is we show you a selection of single men and myself and Sarah could maybe choose an appropriate one for you you game for that yes okay now X we've got a pool of men backstage now I know you're married but would you like to join them in you could try out just a chat up line on the man no yeah Carolyn okay you see you've got you go out there and join join our pool of men we'll see you in a minute ed and that Caroline you want to join us at our on our lovely bar [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] basically if we don't like the man you don't have to look at them sound with whatever okay okay do you buy would you have any are you looking for anything in particular rich handsome you look at rich and handsome a job a good tickler oh well I don't so first man please [Applause] I'm sorry I'm so sorry - an off-speed you know any anyone who's a thief by any chance someone's a sort of stars and put me in your eyes [Applause] and you like to touch my shirt for me it's out there how does that feel like boyfriend's here [Applause] okay what's your name my name is David David David job I do have a part-time job I'm student I'm one of those [Music] [Applause] we're not having much luck oh no it would all have you nothing he didn't like a tick no he didn't he didn't know would your own mother of better would you think your own mother would have better taste do you think she'd have liked any of these men no she wouldn't a writer should we ask her cuz your mother's here here she is you can see them the sound of any of them no what's your name me me me yes so it's for Caroline your name Tony my name's Jonathan I'm 35 I'm from Essex rich rich possibly boomer this is Caroline okay put a little laughter dude but I do I'm a restaurant manager restaurant it's not a modern Mediterranean this Troy is it Pizza Express it's a little bit better than Pizza Express yes are you single I'm single yes I'll go ticking the boxes boy you were at you're depending off you go you have very good though he was like accent yes ed will be coming out shortly nice so and but now what it may see ed is now and taking them out the back to change his microphone pack right so when ed does come up let him do a bit of chassis rice okay and then I might say something all those real chemistry between you and then I just get a bit physical with him didn't touch him no not that physical kissing cookies hair just being appropriate with it because and Ed doesn't know this Maeve isn't the only mother whose real environment [Applause] what's what's your name Edward J this is Jim so Jill I'm gonna make him hide in this cupboard and then yeah when you hear a big kerfuffle as Caroline becomes a total sloth with yourself hubris act surprised they and will put them in there okay lovely okay now when open them again there'll be a white tiger the Saudis change direction [Applause] booby trap do you have chaplains oh really you know you're married now I know yeah you work what might you say uh Jeff watch the Graham Norton Show they've already bonded okay I'm sensing your chemistry [Applause] you you would be a very good superior because we've got a picture of Jack as an adorable superhero [Laughter] believe the pink Power Ranger that is the kid that would get killed first in The Hunger Games did you have to like down steps and things on a horse um yeah we pretty much do everything I do all my own stunts so yeah it was hard but I want to I want to make something so families quite a family yeah yeah you spent Emily wouldn't went down steps along you spend a lot of time in Vegas 50 I bet yeah I'm out there but you go down the steps on the horse my horse needs another horse in front of it to follow somebody else on top of it again I'm not doing nothing I'm not signaling for it to do anything crazy no because at Michael Fassbender what's up in Jane Eyre you had a war yeah you would have very bad behavior on Jane Eyre yeah Prince was the horse yeah so what would happen well he used to get quite aroused when whenever I got in his back dan the horse handler had to get on it and sort of you know contra more give him a little trot so he'd sort of slap off his retracted back in and then it was good to go okay okay I'll put it off that's annoying too all right so you'll hear Queen Victoria when she starts speaking then on you go with your keri hilson argument that you had with Anna okay so roll it there how dare you talk across me as if I were a child well Kerry Olson is genuinely attractive though I do like her you thought that I was a woman to be petted and passed over and ignored how do you think your woman bought you got the issue anyways no I and I will tell you again you are my husband here and that is all that's not the argument I am your queen and I am telling you to stay my name is Larry nor ever [Applause] Michael Jackson and Prince together he had for one time we had a show in in Vegas and Michael Jackson called hey what's Michael yeah so I heard you guys are doing a show tonight yeah we go on at nine o'clock Oh rats I got to put the kids to sleep so I was like well I'm performing with Prince later on at 12:00 so anyways Michael came to see me rock with Prince and it was at a met it was a magnificent night to see it was me Chris Tucker and in watching me Chris Tucker Michael Jackson watching Prince rockland sage so to make a long story short print steps off the stage and plays the bass in Michael Jackson's face it rips the freaking face and ten different pieces deliver them make a longer story shorter Michael Jackson leaves and goes home and says leave me an ass of breakfast so I go to his house with breakfast knock on the door first words he says when I was Prince playing the bass in my face [Laughter] no no Prince he's just being nice you know no Prince he's always been a meanie but bless their hearts they're so passionate and rather confusingly fifty turned force yeah yeah you decided turn 40 you thought I'm gonna do a magazine cover yeah yes I wasn't gonna be fat no audio no I don't want to do that you know cuz I just finished shooting with the South Pole film with Jake Gyllenhaal and Forest Whitaker and I was like cuddly for that one nice and soft I was playing for motor why they were playing professional fighters so it didn't make sense for me to be all you know ripped up and I gave myself the excuse to go get in shape after the magazine you chose to appear on was Muscle & Fitness [Applause] out there are so many four-year-olds watching this home it's over well recently in April April 2nd online and I almost a god we didn't make this picture okay I think we googled Michael Fassbender and birthday and I swear to god this is the picture that came up [Applause] you as a little boy jack it does seem you were slightly up did you have any normal clothes you just seemed to dress up all the time asked me for one photograph of me as a power ranger and I gave her my mother's email address [Laughter] [Applause] dating and some of the disaster Dave had now you are three women of the world truly so I'm hoping you can help some of our audience through their pain I'm guessing none of them have achieved Alex Payne here but let's see what dating disasters they've had so um now Who am I going to go to Annette and I know Annette excused I'm going in there excuse me excuse me sorry sorry seems like excused I'm sorry hello well I went on this horrible date with this guy I hadn't been on a date for about four years and it was the first time and I asked him out and he said you know yeah because I thought I'll take a risk and he looks so sweet I'm at University and then we went to this horrible cinema in the film was awful and there was this payment problem and then at the end he'd hadn't realized it was a date so I said I'm going as friends and I said oh so you know how was this date and then he was like oh you know it was okay and then he tried to kiss me and it kind of went and it was just kind of horrible I went home kind of feeling sweaty and disgusting and did you be doing again serious [Applause] are you here as friends this is December December he was a much better second date then the first on it's good they're easily pleased have you had sex yet yes yes is he very good look at you and your shiny top I met up with this guy I miss our first date and he was really close I didn't mean look at him when I saw him I can't be arsed to go slidin where to go and we're walking down the road and everyone kept staring at him and I thought oh you must be really good-looking bothered to look a bit weird so I looked up and I really had this really thick foundation on his face always one shiny oh um I met this guy for about ten minutes in a bomb ten minutes at a bar the date No and my friends convinced me to go on a date with him fishel date which started really well on a cocktail bar lovely yeah and we we moved on to a Latino bar in Kings Cross where he got hideously drunk on a picture of gin and tonic and made me dance with a load of random old men really old men which is mortifying and I convinced him that I wanted to leave and he got in a rickshaw yeah back into Leicester Square eventually got in a taxi to go home when I got home was telling my housemates what a nightmare the night had been and I realized my wallet was missing and he phoned me the neck cover today I love the mornings when he phoned me the next day to ask if I'd realized that my wallet was missing and he had admitted that he'd taken it so I'd have to see him again so did you see him again no I canceled my cards and you want you finished pirating at me it's on the way now oh yeah I mean it doesn't come out till like May of 2017 or something do you know who's gonna be really excited to see that good girl young Captain Jack at the end there why [Applause] did you have any regular clothes that's my granny's ran down as well I made my granny in grand I come as sailors and my granddad looks like he's in a John Paul Gautier [Applause] your latest one is phenomenal this this is a picture of Johnny Depp as Donald Trump did you already do a Donald Trump impression no no no no and I had no idea if I could or not I still don't but I I mean this you know Adam McKay who I admire greatly and who's one of the funniest humans alive we had a meeting we're sitting there talking he said how would you like to put how would you like to do a feature film in four days and I was like that and then he said how would you like to play Donald Trump and I loved that idea I didn't care if I knew if I was capable or not you know I wanted to try so yeah so I I did my bit as Donald Trump you don't want to be Donald Trump because the way he speaks is very specific yeah are you telling all the Mexicans to get off set I told them to build me that wall I want a sensational wall fabulous wall I don't remember what the question was but doesn't matter because I'm not going to answer anyway [Applause] well if I got you to do something because there isn't a hook on thee okay so hope no one's all I will be take right straight a little bit so basically I think now what it is it's a right choose a rod I don't know what thing well do you have a favorite no I'm not doing it okay that's that's just Oh gasp they're also you have the lion in front of you wait wait could you have any accuracy I don't even know if I can do it has been a long time yes I'm absolutely accurate okay so if I grab Keynes symbol from this right if I grab this right put this down here now this looks really hard I think it looks very hard because it is right but a man's South to do who gave us the raw did it did it yeah but he's a fly fisherman I'm just setting you that challenge I'm an actor oh hang on I'm just getting ready that wasn't it because it's scared of I get caught in the like oh I see well I the only electric users again that would be bad okay [Music] [Applause] that because obviously there are lots of fans love you but you've had fans proposed to you oh did you say yes I was doing a show in Lake Tahoe and I was singing a song let's do it let's fall in love you know bees do it dumb and those do it and it was tall men do it and even little men do it and I found out just before the show that there was a table of little men in Dwarfs and I said oh god I can't what am I gonna do about this song and this comedian said when in doubt just look at the people and say the line with a smile you know and I did and I said even little people do [Music] the two chiefs you know waited for me you know wanted to eat me I thought they were gonna kill me you know they took me by event said would you like to have a day we like to take you for a drink so they we walk through the casino like this and we sat down in the in the bar room and then once said you know if I fall in love with you and the other one said I saw it first [Applause] the stereotype is of course people think damn Shirley bass fans it's just a basically a bunch of gay men whooping instrument but it's all sorts and there's all sorts in tonight so I'm going to talk to some of them see the lengths they've gone to in the love of you okay so so where am I I've got a bruno grill Oh Bruno grill oh is that the real name oh hello hello Bruno grill oh hello hi where are you from from New York I flew in this morning just to see [Applause] now are you saying I'm leaving tomorrow I got to work on Saturday unless Shirley wants me to stay all weekend downstair show me around London tree barking wrong Shirley I brought good champagne for Shirley Bassey and I brought you enjoying that champagne on to backstage yes [Applause] yeah you thought dressing up bite me enough the stakes are high champagne flights a shiny jacket I'm sorry Dame Shirley I like it very low stakes it was Jonathan key hello [Laughter] [Applause] today to say I should be here because I believed I was probably your shortest worldwide fan talking that really was quite funny on the way here today at Waterloo station a couple of hours ago I saw a short lady in front of me about 400 yards and I guess she was about four inches shorter than me I was gonna hijack a bus and run a road I would like to say danger nee that I've been a fan of yours for many many years since my early teens I enjoy life to the full and I admire your courage your dynamism most of all as well your sense of humor and your wonderful talent and those gifts that you have you've communicated to me and it's been a great inspiration in my life Thank You Dame Shirley and you look fabulous tonight [Applause] you have there gorgeous

Channel: Denise F

Views: 334,887

Keywords: Graham Norton Funniest Moments (21), graham norton funny moments, graham norton funniest guests, graham norton compilation, denise f graham norton, the graham norton show full episodes, grahm norton 2017, Graham Norton Funniest Moments (20)

Id: LEyU6qOAzQg

Length: 30min 30sec (1830 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 25 2017