Godly Dating & Boundaries

[Music] hey y'all i'm evie i'm everett and we have a really really good video prepared for y'all yes yes um this is the first video in our godly dating uh series it's called godly dating and boundaries this is pretty much our version of godly dating and like the the steps into um into a really successful relationship uh all of the steps that we took of um up into marriage uh so yeah we better learned a few things yeah so we want to share a little bit of with y'all yeah so let's get into it number one okay number one do not i repeat do not go into a relationship with the wrong or lustful intentions because if you ain't if you ain't dating to get married then what you what are you dating for that is so that is so true babe if you don't set the expectation now on why you've been going into the relationship while you even dating then you're gonna find yourself dating most but people which causes unnecessary stress and drama and the next thing you know you know you caught up and you're starting all over and that's real selfish it's it's extremely selfish to date somebody date multiple people like where they do that at why would you date multiple people um that hurts people a lot um i know specifically for me in my past relationships i've had somebody to do that to me and it's like when you get in that situation it's just not good because you lose you lose a really good man or you lose a really good woman because you out here playing with other people all because you have the wrong intentions i know the world probably tells you that it's okay and that's what tv and movies tell me most definitely music that's what they um that's what they promote i get it you know so um if if you want a godly relationship you want a godly date that's what this is for and that's what you need to do you need the most definitely go into it um with the right intentions don't go into a relationship with lustful negative or unclean intentions make sure that your intentions are right um so that god can bless you that is so true so true which brings us our next point number two number two set expectations right right and you want to set those expectations within yourself yes uh going into any relationship you should have to sit um what's another word maybe um godly standards yeah godliness moral standards you have to have those moral standards on your on the inside but yeah identify red flags yeah from when you dating somebody yeah of course if you don't have no standards it's very difficult to see if anybody else is throwing red flags yeah because everything just seems normal you might overlook a few things because you don't have the moral standards that moral compass on the inside of you working yeah so you want to you know set those standards those expectations do they go to church you know do they talk about god yeah when you're talking about a testimony that you may have can they recuperate that they have yeah you know i'm saying do they that's a red flag to me yeah it is to me too i've been there yeah me too she had a little testimony you know what i'm saying and uh she just didn't have nothing to say after she was like word child i've been with a man that didn't know nothing about no testimony i was like you ain't got nothing to say god ain't been good you know all the time and you know that in your conversation like you know when you're talking to another believer if you're dating a believer because like you just know like in your conversation you can feel you can tell because then they'll be like man well god let me tell you what god did for me yet just the other day i was you know and then they go into that story about it right and just quick side note that they ain't uh you know a believer and stuff like that you should be wasting your time anyway baby the bible talk but don't be unequally yoked yeah you know what i'm saying you know you gotta you keep it moving uh now of course if you most definitely dating for the right reasons if you set those expectations within yourself and the person that you're dating is checking all those check marks off you know what i'm saying to continue to the next step i probably say set a few boundaries yes it's number three set oh my god now you got it baby you say wait but set boundaries set boundaries babe what kind of boundaries are we talking about uh we talking about like you know you know what i mean like don't be coming over my house don't ask to come over my house don't ask to do nothing don't actually bring me to dinner um don't ask for no no not no late night damn children well yeah eventually after our boundaries and holidays oh yeah in the beginning the no don't be asking to kiss me don't be asking don't touch me but that's why you gotta be today's time for real cause if you give people an inch there take them out you know the same absolutely right but the boundaries that i can i can second that though because i stopped taking females to dinner yes in today's time dayton is crazy out here yeah females and dudes man they just you know it's it's a little different out here so i only went to lunch and brunch in the daytime i said i need the sun to be up i need to go for the other one you can see sam can find me you know what i'm saying i don't need and because it got crazy i'm telling you yeah only lunch and brunch if you really want to know a person you just and it's strictly for conversation if you want to get to know somebody you need conversation yeah you and honestly i stopped taking people to like to movies and stuff like that because you can't even talk inside the movie so why are you going to the movies let's go out and get something to eat you know what i'm saying i don't go to bars you don't stand with them you know what i'm saying like why are we drinking and getting drunk i'm trying to get to know you yeah you know because if like i said i'll go back to number one what is the expectation yeah if i'm trying to get you out of your intention and have sex with you then yeah i'll take you to a bar yeah if i don't care who you are or nothing like that my intention's bad and all i want is one thing and then i want to talk to you no more right yeah those are horrible intentions right so set those boundaries off top i think number four one of the strongest uh boundaries two set which is probably gonna be that's another thing yeah see biggest sex yeah take it off the table but if you see that yeah there's no you see the table ain't no sex on it take it off not even not not even a little bit right don't even put yourself in that situation like don't even don't even think about it like in a in a godly in a godly um relationship when you're like godly courting a person or uh courting or or dating just dating a person right sex should not should not at all be on the table should not have it should not be a priority no at all when it's on the table and it's already in the works y'all start sending like sex text messages and stuff like i'm not saying that all of that stuff like it's not bound to happen but i'm saying if it does happen and if it keeps happening then you know going back to number one that the intentions in this whole relationship your intentions and his intentions are wrong it might be tainted no doubt sex just changes everything everything you know sex if you have sex without marriage man it's just those red flags you thought you saw you stop seeing and now the devil is deceiving you now this person i cheated on you i don't know how many times and you are right with it and now this person is is with multiple people not really texting you it just it's too much and then you keep going back why because you had sex with this person so don't even don't even put yourself in a position going back to what when we were talking about setting the the boundaries and expectations don't put yourself in the predicament where y'all are at dinner late at night and he want to walk you to your car next thing you know he don't walk you to your house next thing you know he don't walk you to your room right don't even do that because you know and you knew women know men too but women y'all know that if a man is doing all of that you know what he wanna do all that walking that brother must've got nikes on all that right i promise what you know you know and that's the reason why you have to be the one to protect your intentions protect your expectations for the relationship you have to be the one to do that because you can't always expect for that person to respect your boundaries or or your morals the way that you do right because um even the you know men are the aggressor in most cases yeah i get it number four do not have sex take sex completely off the table if you've already done it repent and just ask god to turn y'all away from that because when you get married when this is if you know that this is a person that you really love when you get married you can have all the sex you want just to be just being honest you have all the sex you want you ain't got to repent for it you're doing it the right way like it's just so much easier and that's the reason why god wanted us to do it in marriage that is a gift from god and when you do it the right way beautiful things happen but if you're doing it the wrong way you got diseases you got to think about you got spiritual demons that you got to think about it's just so much that you have to think about when you do it the wrong way so just let that let sex be a prize don't let it be something um like christmas just passed don't let it be that present that you already done seen right you know let that let it be a present that you see that morning that you can unwrap when it's actually time for you to unwrap the gift right yeah that was good so the sex got a lot built into it so we we're just that's a whole nother video i think actually i think we need to do um a video about sex in this series strictly about that that'd be good yeah that'd be good so number five all right well no if you make it to number five if you make it to number five you are looking to upgrade your relationship yes congratulations praying and fasting y'all yes if you're looking to get that upgrade if you make it to number five right if you make it to number five and you're looking for an upgrade then i think that's the next thing in the dating room that you need to do uh praying with a person uh praying with your future fiancee husband future wife or whatever the case is uh that will be most different key yes that's key and then of course you start praying together man i know it sounds cliche but it's real a family that craves together stays together that's that's real stuff there it really opens the door for god to stand in front of you guys and you pray together praying and fasting you know the bible speaks about praying to fasting normally those who always go together yeah they didn't go together man because uh fasting and praying and fasting kinda go off the uh the last thing that we talk about like the sex and stuff like that man fasting actually helps you um that's what helps gain your flesh to get your flesh under control that's what helped us right that's what helped us right that's what helped us like like on a whole nother level and this man is the one that really he really impressed me he really impressed me because i had never been with a man that um i've never been with a man that was like yeah we ain't doing this we fasting today um because you're looking too good what else we supposed to do so we fasted and we fasted a few times so that we wouldn't have sex right fast and uh does like i said do a lot you know you really can gain uh control over your flesh you know there's a phrase that i always like to say uh a man that can defeat himself is a thousand times better than a man that couldn't defeat a thousand men in battle yeah that's uh i don't know why that is so true that's that's 100 true right the biggest enemy that you have man is yourself yeah you know what i'm saying like that's it don't blame the devil man the devil's just there to tempt you at the end of the day you make these decisions you made the choice that is all y'all you made the choice yes now you always got a choice the devil can't make you do anything facts so you you make these decisions so if you're sitting up in some mess right now take five steps back and see how you got there yeah it's 20 21 baby so you got a choice to do better yeah amen and it's never too late like we're talking about like things that work for us and stuff but if you find yourself in a situation like i know couples might be watching or girlfriends boyfriends whatever if you find yourself in a situation where you've already like kind of fallen short to your flesh that is okay that it's all right like don't beat yourself up about it um repent and true repentance is is what they are turning away from it um walking away running away from it um and knowing first you have this what is it like the abcs of salvation first you admit then you believe and then you confess it so confess the things that um you've done uh whether to that person like i i don't like that we did this this is not something that i believe in or this is something that i believe is not right and try your best to turn away from it god will give you the strength if you pray for it absolutely um yeah that's 100 true and just doing that and voicing your opinion to them you know confessing that you didn't like that yeah that actually helps you build the expectation it helps you build man it helps you uh build those boundaries as well because uh your significant other don't you know they don't if you never say that you didn't like it then they gone they're gonna try to do it again over and over and over try to get them on board if this is a person that you really can see yourself married yeah uh you're gonna do it right you most definitely you gotta turn away and um because like you said you can't have sex after you're married and just be patient just learn to be patient like you don't have to do anything right now especially if it's not gonna benefit you but for i don't know like a few minutes like it's not it's not even worth it it's not worth the agony it's not worth the the guilt it's not it's just not worth it so you get with the person you love that person and you love that person so much that you want to do right by the person by by all means you know and god will bless that relationship like he did us god will bless y'all and um i think to being honest and setting those boundaries and expectations early on in a relationship it brings you closer together to that person because not only are we trying our best to do things the right way right but i trust you on a whole nother level because i know that you're not after just this what you can what you can see and what you can what you can touch yeah that's real that's real um but hopefully we you know we said something that can help somebody out yeah you know maybe we can use a thing or two we ain't no professionals y'all no but we do know what worked for us you know uh we just got some liberty experience and we're working this thing through yeah um we know you know we're working this thing we know a whole lot about jesus yes a lot about like about god what he's done for us got a ton of testimonies a lot of experience that we're leaning on um you know um you know in the last words baby we love y'all i've like been said i hope that this video has helped somebody um if this inspired you to not do something or to do something or to cut somebody off you know do that listen to the spirit pray about it um fast about it if it's you know if it's that to that extent and you need to fast about it because you need an answer like now um just do whatever you got to do and um i think that god is god is going to help you uh just ask him keep on praying keep believing keep seeking and um we all want healthy relationships that will last there's so many people um in relationships that don't don't last at all in 2021 like who's getting married nobody even believes like people just don't like relationships are not what they were made to be um so yeah just just keep the faith and and keep on going and keep doing what's right keep repenting and turning away from your sin and you're gonna be all right absolutely until next time i'm everett i'm evie see you later

Channel: Evvie McKinney

Views: 21,181

Rating: 4.9899998 out of 5

Keywords: #EvviesAngels, #EVVIE, #GodIsGood

Id: CjJDy-XZFtM

Length: 17min 16sec (1036 seconds)

Published: Sun Jan 17 2021