Girl code 📝🔐 ft Over 25 | Episode 45

um what if the man is being inappropriate with your friend what is the girl called there is the friend supposed to tell you no i'm gonna need to stop acting as if like you are attracted to this one person this is the only person you can be with they are too many millions where are they everywhere they are they are very few nairobi has nobody suffering okay period the way that the way that god the girl code seems to be is my secret is safe with you and your mind hey guys murugi muni here it's lydia km and we're back again with another episode of the messy in between it's definitely tmi [Music] this episode of tmi podcast ke has been shot at the emory hotel in keleleshwar we had such an amazing time there the hotel is so beautiful so chill so casual we even got a room where we were able to change and spend some time before and after the shoot really comfortable bed we love that we're able to have lunch as well it was fresh it was delicious it was flavorful and at the end of the shoot we went up to the rooftop bar for cocktails it was really nice they had happy hour guys oh the cocktails yeah really good check them out guys okay we're gonna brutal [Applause] [Music] [Laughter] guys we are so excited to be filming this episode you guys have been shouting you have been screaming you've been rolling on the ground angry and now they're here we have brought them over 25. subscribe [Applause] i'll let them introduce themselves let's start over here miss chiqui all right hello hello hi tmi family my name is shiki you can find me on my socials as miss tiramisu hi guys my name is lonzi gatabaki same as on my socials exactly and and i also am the founder of pure buxom nairobi is only exclusively selling class-sized clothing for caviar women we love it yeah we love it um my name is jules aka jules underscore on my instagram or my youtube as my tiny little channel or my tlc 1011 care and my name is ivy just ivy aka miss money monday aka mama twins i'm very happy to be here wow lovely let me ask tell you people if you have been living in iraq and you don't know who over 25 are they basically like you guys like set the pace for for what i wouldn't say female women women having conversations online conversations that matter conversations that other women want to be a part of and i feel like you guys just set the pace for us we and women working together friends and business you've all set that pace actually we had people to look at when we were starting like oh they did it so can we exactly yeah so we love you guys thank you for being here thank you for inviting me to peter yes pause now and subscribe to the channel just pause and go subscribe one second literally also the we call our the poke watch tmi we call them in-betweeners or queen between those are messy in between so in between us or queen between us or hang between us i just had king between us right now like you know i i love you exactly yeah anyway so so you guys over 25 was was formed because you guys were already friends to begin with right you guys have been friends for how long now like 10 years 20 years uh 15 ish yeah like collectively it's more than just more than 15. 15 to 20 from like 2002 yeah whoa wow long time long time oh my gosh that's 21. what the hell what the hell it's a long time like 20 years we still we have memories and they are lucid yeah so they're very similar to us in the sense that they are they are sort of like their business or their brand has been formed off of their friendship and lydia and i obviously the same we've talked about this so many times so that's why we thought about the topic that we want to talk about is like in your friendship you guys obviously gone through a lot and we i mean we're just tears thinking are there rules that govern the friendships that we have like is there a girl code because everyone knows boycott it's like okay if that's my mama she can't be your mama you know but like is there a girl codes that's the one that chat about right i definitely think these just like just out there i think there's a girl code because i feel like it's like it's like girl code is like boundaries or like little it's it's kind of boundaries or like little rules that make sure that everyone feels like they're benefiting from the relationship so just like any other relationship of course there's a code even with your man there's a code you just maybe don't say it out loud but it's there there is the code yes exactly it's girl code in friendships it's not just like randomly with girls worldwide yeah white worldwide yeah all right yes that's we're going to be chatting about and before you continue please subscribe also to our channel by the time you're watching this video we've just got into 50k subscribers yes we're so excited about that it's been less than a year and we just i know i know good job partner boom and thank you so much thank you so much back when you get your plaque huh call us back when you get your plaque all right right this year yeah we'll start blocking those of you who are watching and you're not subscribed i'm joking we won't but please subscribe we'd really really love it if you do it if you would all right so girl code let's start us off with chicken i'll start us off with something that is um i think the most basic of the girl codes which is somebody's man is um off limits like if and by somebody's man i mean i cannot be there with mr gatabaki behaving in a way that is not appropriate basically there is some respect that needs to be given to someone's man someone's partner someone's person basically to support that i would say um you are my friend and your man is your man but despite even if we build a relationship like i see um you all have a relationship with shave of course but i feel like still to the core it's like you're my friend and this is your man so that i feel like that friendship should never get to the point that it interferes what we have right we actually even i think we talked about this on our channel where sometimes someone someone's season is over someone's partner season is over i love that is this bridgette your season is done and as a friend group would be like oh man he was a cool guy but you know it is what it is depending on how things have you know have ended just to reinforce what you're saying at the end of the day your friend is your friend and then there is their man yeah which can be a bit tricky because like for jewels for example i know my man through jews yeah like she's known him longer than me yeah so i i guess it would be a bit weird but you know at the end of the day you still have to is it but still or is it i'm sorry it's still worse still like if you still feel like it's her oh i'm saying what i'm saying started dating i mean even just as recently as what like a month ago yeah when these those guys had my house having drinks and he was called by one of oh yeah how did he come to my house i can't even remember yeah i think we're just chilling you were also supposed to come yeah but then i didn't know i was late okay i'm like hey what's up but then at some point i'm like chico your man is here yeah i'm just letting you know he's here and yeah and i've given him water and now he's about to hit and when he left i was like he's on his way back yeah no you kept on you kept on you kept giving me she actually left the room she's like actually so now yeah we are just chilling yeah yeah yeah because i'm like she was not here she was supposed to be here but then also and i think he stayed longer than you know he was supposed to only stay like for like half an hour but yeah two hours later he was still there so i was like no i need to call shiki yeah because if it was me i'd also want that exaggeration exactly some people are really debating this when i first said that i first said actually i guess one of my rules was about if if we i'm done so are you right and there were many people who are like this is um kind of culty and very um mob mentality and you're just following what your friend is doing at what if i've developed a friendship with him i was shocked because i can't imagine a scenario where i need to negotiate with you about staying with my person yeah no but like you see now in this scenario where juice was already shifts that's trapped yeah yeah i would say it's tougher oh but it's not it's not impossible i still exactly yeah but there's those ones that um i think even within our friendship these people who seasons have come to an end but we'll still we're still cool we are still cool especially like on social media where yeah that's where you met before and whatever yeah but we also ask for consent don't we like of course no we have to know somebody has broken up with somebody and he's like okay how cool are we here exactly is it like we are hanging out you have to ask because yes these things happen when you develop a friendship with yeah somebody's partner and you guys become friends yeah and and it's happened where it's like oh crap so now oh man yeah and then it's okay how do you start telling that person so now that because you and jewels have broken up now i won't be able to talk to you anymore don't watch me yeah in the first place you should know that you're tapping each other like that okay so it's not that long what have you done okay not available what happens then because sometimes maybe if someone is drunk this has never happened to you who are married your men have never been able to i'm just asking tomorrow in the tabloids um do i handle the man and say you better and then i or do i you know even how would you handle it because it's also so sensitive coming to your friend and saying that your guy probably was a bit tipsy and he was inappropriate with me it makes things so awkward it's what dr vundi was telling us some of these things don't you know i think i had to go on no no no you felt very passionate yeah if you're about to shout i'll hunt to him right there you are not there you know he's he's being in a puppet with all of you okay yeah i'll handle him right there first of all i'll check him like to draw the bounty whatever it is has made him think that it i could be that person for him we we pin it there but i'll definitely still tell you awkward as it is i don't think that's something i'll keep to myself yeah i like how black and white you are lydia you're very like yes no very black and white yeah i mean the things i'm in it but have you thought about what that would do to like the dynamics of the friendship like now literally we will never then hang out me my man and you ever just because of this one like he was drunk and he did something inappropriate exactly i don't think i think if it becomes a pattern a habit it's not one time i will whatever two times now you start coming i think that might be rough for me to be able to like now the next time we're all hanging out at the four and i'm like you're here he's i don't know for the rest of our lives no double date ever because of that one time no but that's your choice to stop the double date that's your choice to stop the double date but it will be it could be so weird you technically stopped it fast by telling her i mean i i personally don't know if i'll be able to know that that happened and still be like oh hi you know i don't know i don't know how that would happen because i would be dealing with the awkwardness so it's either you deal with the awkwardness or we all do no you just did it yourself yeah so that's what you want yeah if ever in my mind yeah i need to just tell me oh yeah immediately tell me me outside okay discovering each other yeah i see sometimes um oh yeah you had a point yeah no i was going to say it's a very individual thing but definitely agree with lydia that this person should be checked there and then this guy just to be told i'm not the one like me i'm not here for any of that um don't even do it again the partner for the friend is where it gets i feel so tricky yeah that's definitely different they're people who don't want to be told they're people who like lydia are like of course tell me and i even me personally i don't know whether i'd want to you know i feel like you've updated this person for let's say five months or two three months tell me yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's the yeah if it's your husband your husband children hey children involved yeah handle me with care also what if he's not being inappropriate with you but you see him being inappropriate with someone else me that one i would tell her that i'll tell her instantly yeah yeah it will be of course because you are not the object of his affection i would also want to see how how far whatever he you know if he came in he's just like i've been really wanting to tell you this i just feel like we have you know these you know or if it's just like you know you know he does something that i see that maybe this is you're a bit drunk they you would need to know how he's coming because he's coming to confesses and dying love you don't want to know that's a place that's a problem and the way i work my dear friends if that happens make sure you commit evidence just take a picture no how so you won't believe me if i don't have either you're making it about yourself i'm just saying something like that and you're talking about my husband make sure you have a proper uh case yeah to make yeah so if it's just that i had through the grapevine that your man has been someone else fine great for me grapevine don't give it to me you need i need more than just i heard unless it's something maybe i've come to you and i've i've told you something i've really been feeling yeah i said something yeah now it's like oh actually i have some additional information yeah you juice um this one is tricky it's very it's very tricky because sometimes i feel like ignorance is bliss but at the same time what does that mean for our because you know if it's somebody i really really love because of a drunk incident or even a sober incident i might not leave immediately because of that until now it is over because of this but now what does that mean for the relationship of me and my friend and the whole dynamic so it's like okay are you attracted to her and it doesn't mean if you break up with if i break up with this guy he'll date her yeah so you know it's tricky honestly i feel like it's a case-by-case thing but at the end of the day what we're agreeing is that it needs to be communicated it's now understanding in your group or within your friends how she wants to be told immediately how she wants evidence she wants you know like that for evidence yeah and then also i feel like what's what this really shows is that these general girl codes like general but then each group and when it comes to when it happens yeah like there are some things that are general knowledge like obviously you don't go to go hang out yeah basic yeah those ones are basic but then they are somewhere it's it's uh it's a group by group case by case scored by squads spanner in the works now he's tried it on shiki yes and now he has told let's say god forbid it's ivy and then now now what so she's saying oh thank you so much for telling me you are sharing would would that be the time now to be like oh by the way he also tried it on me i guess because you see like for me it's happened but then i took a group by two it happened to me but then i couldn't tell my i told my pal after they broke up like two years after because i was scared of her reaction but what are you even telling now now yeah i can't remember but it was one of those things it was like me i was like hey yeah i just numbed myself was like that happened i was not that didn't he was just like two different comments about my maybe my outfit or my ass or something like that i'm like this is inappropriate yeah but how do i get tell somebody oh your man said i have a nice ass oh god that's not that's not enough to you know what what are we yeah yeah so that's others like me i let me just i kept a distance sometimes i'm like i don't know if it's the right thing to do yeah the relationship will end it's tough yeah i don't know i don't know if i want to be the cause of somebody's breakup but you're you're not it's him he's the cause his behavior is the issue not you that's the challenge you see that's something that's internal turmoil because they'll break up and i'm like i know i'm the i sparked you're let me take you back to something that you were talking about about how um when shift came to your house and whatnot i've seen some comments on i think your page we apologize like when you don't feel bad with your man always hanging out with you and who and who and i've seen responding just saying no me i'm in a secure relationship so i don't know you know so what is the girl code yeah people always asking her that yeah all my friends are actually friends with you yeah like my my friends my close friends um like they can go and have lunch of course i know it is happening i don't um i don't think i've ever been given a reason to feel somewhere do you have an expectation of your friends when it comes to how they interact with your man if you are you are not present um i think just the obvious kind of things you cannot be you don't go on a romantic date like go have lunch you don't go out for drinks all night you know such things maybe but aside from that and if you've ever done that yeah i will never even like like a situation has never had yeah it's like watermelon hey yeah it's or something like that i guess that would be awkward i feel like if i'm ever anywhere and i see her man the first thing i would do is say like oh your man is here are you guys together exactly i hear because i can see you exactly i think that's the relationship we have with shiva i think people need to understand it's [Music] yeah great guy great great guy yeah i don't think there's ever been a situation that is weird he's weird or felt off yeah yeah okay that's good and honestly i feel like if i didn't even even if i didn't tell you that she was there yeah i don't think it would have been a problem no like that was easy yeah i was actually easy but i really appreciated yeah yeah i was like this is this is nice exactly this is nice we love that i feel like it connects you with okay agreed so for me same thing let me throw a spanner but siblings siblings like can i date your absolute no absolutely no can you date my sibling yeah can i date your siblings so what's wrong with that so you communicate um i think maybe it's a boundary we don't have brothers i think your brother is so attractive i would love to get in bed with him um yeah we don't have you do yeah okay so i asked i want to date your sister okay you don't have brothers but yeah i want to date your sister why would you answer me no you know okay it depends on what kind of friend it is if it's like someone who's not we're not really at the close friends like this he'll be like okay fine i guess you can read but like a lydia yeah no why because then when things go bad yeah and then now your first lady is never coming to any of our family you know because you've never been in give me weird these bad breakups they're bad breakups and they're good breakups matching them away through a bad breakup now i can never have her at my baby's christening because am i going to do my sister lydia yeah i feel like it could just get messy like why let's just avoid it that's what but sometimes it's like they've developed this kind of vibe because you know he he comes over or she comes over i'm not trying to convince you you know they've come you know they've built a connection and chances are if you like me and maybe my brother or whatever is like me i could see why you'd have a connection i don't think i would stand in the way of that but i would be like i don't want to hear it i don't want to be in between you guys but i don't know about standard way of love yeah like if you want a damn brother which you cannot my brother is taken but like i think it's funny just take it take care just like one child okay you can take him yeah yeah i think it's fine yeah yeah let me tell you actually the best example is when she yeah because to me she was like my brother it was like a small bro awkward when we were these one day we were walking out of campus walking out of school towards the gate she called you in front of me she was walking towards us yeah and i was with i don't know if you remember bh yes we all grew up together now in this behavior okay and she goes in front of us and then she came and then just kissed she cool she was like what the and then she has always been away like a like even being romantic i'm just like yeah anymore but hey later i think she's had time to it was a struggle for me but imagine you can't stand in there if two people love each other they love each other yeah even if you're refused by this you'll deal with those things of of christening maybe they'll be mature enough to you know break up amicably i'm gonna need to stop acting as if like you attracted this one person this is the only person you can be with there are too many millions mentality to have an abundance mentality you know what yeah because you see you've got gym today [Laughter] [Laughter] yeah and she him the first night that's happened lock him down it wasn't it wasn't for that it was like you're hot i'm hot yeah yeah yeah i love it and then you fell in love and here you see there's no formula guys the 90-day rule it's or whatever whenever you want to if if you guys build a connection it's just going to be a connection i love this story oh my god i need to i want to mention i love a good love story know me too as pisces honestly it's showing your pisces mess is showing give us a girl code since you're suicidal oh um yeah um um something i'd consider um a girl code is to uplift encourage your your sister like you know if if you know they have an insecurity about maybe their weight maybe their skin may be there you always be that person who is encouraging of course not lying and saying you look nice when you have spinach in your teeth but encouraging i think it's so important because for me words of affirmation mean a lot to me and so so does the flip side somebody who talks down on me like very hard for me to keep those people close or have a pure connection with them yeah yeah so a farming a family with it's gonna be okay you're fine you're beautiful you're lovable imagine you you've got this cheerleader yeah for me that's such a big a big thing for me because it makes me feel safe it makes me feel like when i'm prospering you're not you know green with envy and i can do the same for you you know what i mean like you know sometimes you have to hide you don't want to be in a friendship like that where you have to hide in hide your happiness or hide your things your way yeah you have to dig your lights exactly yeah so yeah i love that for sure yeah that's a really good nice one that one i think was without saying no it's just like we highlight that one yeah but it's what i think it means to us it has to be practiced like it's intentional then yeah you don't just think it like you do it you know like somebody says i'm having a fat they imagine you okay because you actually don't look fat we have those things where i'm having an ugly day and we tell each other i'm having an ugly day i'm not feeling this yeah like yesterday i was like because i smile am i smart yeah you're smart jules yeah yeah yes when was it is it yesterday i was like am i looking nice when was i asking you guys that was it today when you're looking like a 10. oh no just now when you when you walked in i think it was yesterday i don't know what we're talking about like you're not looking good what do we have but that's the thing it's like you know i get it it's it's encouraging yeah okay question about that though because i have to say a point about that is like tell your friends the truth or like let's say if your outfit is malfunctioning or something i should tell you or something i just had a recollection a memory of the time when we were working at the tv station and one of our you already know what i'm about to say one of our co-hosts walked in and like she had her dress was really really cute but i was not ironed yeah okay lydia's pet peeve in life okay and ion clothes like she feels very triggered so she said to her she's just like what did you say something about her dress not being ironed or something like that and you're like she was this was she actually what she said um are you going on set like that oh my god but not in a mean way in just like a oh like you should be going through one by the way yeah so we have multiple yeah yeah and i think she felt really upset by that because she was crying about it right what was the tone though no it was literally like are you going on set okay yeah that sounds like when you ask horrible um maybe it's because the way i handle different people it's not the same way you can handle everyone right so maybe the way the tone i would assert with you or the way if i tell you you go inside like that you're like oh yeah babe like i mean it's not iron we could have a conversation but that wasn't it it just stopped there so then it just seemed like i'm poking at the way that that you look but everyone was thinking you see all of us were thinking that because she did it did not look nice and you did that in front of other people no it was like us okay but here listen if it's obvious like you walk in you genuinely just don't look like you're prepared for being so everyone was thinking it it's just that she said every time someone had something to do with their clothes or whatever we all pointed it out like maybe change that belt maybe fix your hair oh your makeup maybe that lipstick goes we will make comments because we all want to look good we are we are what's it we were uh a panel yeah so it's like you looking good it's like the best for all of us and actually when you show up when you don't look right it's like why are they not telling her that her lipstick is on her face or whatever else so it was it was that culture but maybe it stopped there with her yeah and it's okay because you then learned that that's not the person to say something like that with and her rule actually was if i can't change it in the next 10 minutes or five minutes i don't want to know but it's true actually because you're telling her she's nothing no they they will be what they are changing and also but you see also and also there's a limit to like okay everybody has their own individual style but like half for example like she she had a very eccentric kind of style so like sometimes maybe you asked you would not understand like what is the look [Laughter] i really want to tell you because i don't want you to embarrass yourself on national tv but also that's your personal style kind of thing you know i feel like everyone needs to be handled different that's what i personally learned everyone is handled very differently it actually we learned that's what we learned in that entire time is that even the way someone takes critique it's not the same way that i'm gonna take like what's going on like you would get off the center just tell you that you're not on your game what happened do better but other players would be like i envy that i envy that yeah i [Laughter] my friend is not the person who's going to be my mark or you know like you can to keep pushing me and making sure that i'm holding a particular standard based on the goals that i have because if you my goal is i want to be the best um tv presenter yeah i can't show up on set looking like yeah or i can't show up on set be slacking you gotta tell me yeah and you know what i think now again it's also about knowing your audience and knowing the person who's talking to you because i feel like lydia if you tell me now that i kind of know you and there's an authenticity to you i feel like it's not malicious it's definitely so if you ever tell me because if somebody else tells me i'll be like are you jealous i get deep in my feelings deep deeply in the depths of it but maybe if you tell me i'll be like no this is coming from a she wants to lift you've got to make the mistake to know that that's not the person unfortunately so before i had said that comment maybe i i just thought it would be taken the same way joe would take you or whoever else yeah i remember when i joined the show and then you made a comment about my makeup because it was i didn't know how to do makeup remember when i joined the show i i never used to know how to do makeup so timmy made a comment about my makeup and i was like okay it felt like i was feeling kind of cute but i looked in the mirror and i was like she actually has a point i mean like how is my makeup today and you're like [Music] yeah okay i mean i get it like you know i know i'm working on it but i didn't take it like oh my god she's so mean why wouldn't you just like she was like true like there was nothing like that yeah yeah anyway yeah you make the mistake and then you learn who you can't say something like that to or who you can't say or how to say or maybe when to say maybe when the dressing room i can tell you then yeah maybe not this one maybe this whatever whisper pull you aside because you said especially in front of other people you you make the mistake and then you learn yeah okay i agreed oh true wait two love it okay ivy give us one of course i have to start with a code to do with money says have your own money it's a girl code that i don't think is stated enough have your own money when you're going for a date have your own money when you're in a partnership have your own money your partner is not your financial plan have your own money simple like in the girl circle like if you go if you go on a date am i no no no in general if you're going for a date what are you doing for a date with whoever carry your money you never know have you guys never heard those stories of a girl you're taking on a date and okay yesterday that a girl was taking a date on some guy who seems to be very wealthy and when the bill came he was pushing it towards her i would stab you some things just always have your money from the point of your first date to throughout your courtship just always just have your own money i think it will save you some heartache yeah and have your own money with your people as well like people people are ask this all the time to who pays when we go out money split the bill there is no child's parent situation here but i think people always assume if you have the most then you should kind of cater to everyone else but i feel like that's a burden that no one should be able to to put up unless i've taken it on myself like today i'll do it for you or whatever or even if you said you're bowling like that any time we go out it's on me amen when it comes to friendship and money sometimes the lines can be very very very educated money and friendship can be very very um interesting if you guys go out you're the four of you you're having drinks what do you guys do just place it four ways [Music] i mean if we've generally had the same things but if somebody has had five shows exactly somebody has not had any shots you just before two holy spirit anyway one split yes unless and if you're yeah or i'll get the next round of shots but usually we are like i'll get around one of shots yeah the next person gets around two of shots like that's how we do it yeah i think what i like about this actually is that i think where we reach we're able to talk about money yeah like i'm not like i can't right i'm poor yeah yeah yeah i love that right right now i can't do it like i can't i can't come for this trip i don't have cash yeah yeah i think even even an outing lunch drinks be like i wouldn't come it's a bad time yeah and one of the other girls will be like yeah yeah it happens like which is nice but i think people just need to be open about it like to be able to actually have a conversation and say i actually can't do this right now or you know i can't whatever yeah but i think you need to sort your money staff to be able to be honest about to other people about your money stuff because i feel like it's not even to say about the trust to the person is because a lot of people do tie their sense of self with how well they're doing financially a lot of people um so then when you're not doing well it becomes a my worth as opposed to right now i'm just not doing it right so i know my money stuff was tied around that i wanted to feel like i've got it so it was hard to share that i don't because that meant something about me i was making that mean something about me you know um so yeah it's like you've got to work on you that stuff yeah yourself to be able to um be a bit healthy with your friends whoever else partner agreed okay let me share one girl that i've been thinking about a lot is if i tell you a secret it's only for you it's not for you and your other friends mm-hmm i don't know how that works in like a big girl group okay but yeah this is just the two of us when i tell you something i know you're not gonna go and tell you who and when lydia is always coming up with new friends and best friends yuck first of all secondly i was like yesterday you were like oh one of my best friends one of my best friends just i was like okay i'm all right i'm fine actually i'm okay yeah anyway so i know you won't go and tell other people because it's me i've told you you know and just because you're close with someone else tell me no you can share my stuff exactly but your man [Applause] is my secret is safe with you and your man but i i would initially like i will hold it as much as i can if i'm told like if someone comes out and specifies me this one you can't even tell she yeah then i'm like where's the big one so even my secrets the hot secrets of my hot night's escapades she knows them no no no no things you can't yeah yeah yeah but but they're a gentleman in general because there are times she called imagine that time she will come and tell me at you i heard and i'm just like yeah but also she really needs to just get here [Laughter] in trouble before unacceptable so nowadays i'm telling you something i'm like wait at this point i think i don't mind if she knows but when it comes to tell me no no we can't talk to us about it something what do you do however he texts you i hope you but that's yeah yeah so now he's sitting there in this information he's like oh let me just check like you should you know i know but there are some secrets i don't want him to know because state state when you're telling me what if we are late and i'm just telling you you know what happened yesterday and then she was like i heard that you have you been with this baby you've told me people need to check their men yeah i always check your mind but i think when you tell me when you tell someone who has a husband just assume please just assume that's not when you call me sometimes you call me hi baby and i thought it was a special thing but i just discovered everyone's favorites baby and i'm like oh my god yeah i just thought it was special but it's not it's drama what do you have to say about this [Laughter] so do you call everyone baby just to clarify no yeah she calls me baby but everyone who's special oh yeah yeah yeah and maybe young people yeah baby give luna her own special name no she and i'm like don't you call everyone that don't call me that ever again oh wow you keep calling people that but never call me that not me i wouldn't but we're not telling other friends yeah yeah let's just say it's hard not to tell your man i i personally feel like i i would like the flexibility of what what you tell me is for me and my man unless it's something that you know there's some things you just feel like this is this is something that really needs to be between me and you because of maybe the sensitivity or there's something someone tells you i feel uncomfortable telling someone else including my man yeah it's just too much but i really don't need us to be holding up to it it's just me because even the emotional bandwidth that i have to be able to help you through your situation because because my mind is holding me my mind is holding up my emotions so without him it's just me alone that's a tough one but let me ask you since in your circle you guys sometimes see how like you two are closer than maybe you two or you two do you sometimes like um there's something that you guys are going through or you're talking about that the other ones can't know does that ever like affect like now when you're shooting or something like that like i don't know i'm not building a like a bigger girl group so it's just like must we all know the same thing must all be on the same no no no there are things that people have yeah yeah like even on set like you hear jews and ivy they'll sneak in like something that i told you yeah yeah okay like i think yeah we've learned each other's like yeah like who who like they're people who have um certain relationships um amongst us that no they don't have everyone so tremendous too that's just how it is it doesn't make anyone feel bad no no no no it doesn't but i think it'll only make you feel bad if you're not invited for things yeah and then they look at it online or i definitely would have so you guys have our sub group that is all for view and that's all there's no sub group which has only three no same same the only one we've been in just this were the three of us was it was shisha oh wow who is [Music] for like two seconds quickly yeah it's not to say that they don't exist they happen like you know i used to really hey i used to have this passive aggressive thing where i'm like oh loving song ladies [Laughter] yeah yeah so it's like friday night what was it called moscow i only called it that once though and randomly removing on fridays after work and then they do shisha and then they like talk and vote so when they're coming to shoot on saturday they're like jews you know we've decided excuse me i used to feel like yeah so and i said no okay next time we'll invite you oh then yeah yeah they don't know you just say that because they said it was in the past when shisha was that was allowed in this country understood a very long time ago yeah i have one oh yeah give us one a girl called yeah so if let's say you're in a club setting and your girl is being hit on by like a creepy guy or like a just a dodgy or even just a guy just make sure you have visibility of your friends your friends and especially if it's a creepy guy you know just watch their drinks so that i was like um just yeah just be extra cautious yeah in that situation i feel like i'm not as you know if my friend is getting hit on i don't know if i automatically go to oh this is now a dangerous situation but yeah but it's something which is like you've got to practice and you've got to be more intentional about it i don't know if it automatically because maybe i'm drunk as well and you know we are all a hot mess um but yeah it's something um to think about i don't know why i don't think about those kind of things i think just keep keep an eye keep an eye because when we were younger i don't think we we did at all it's just everyone is like i mean i've gone home whatever but hey now it's like okay we are all leaving somebody is a bit maybe too intoxicated maybe they're not hydrated and there's a hot mess yeah before it's like okay bye bye let her blackout over there but it's an age thing it's uh that's true yeah you're able to be like let's just all go yeah yeah and yeah and at times though you can tell that the guy is weird like there's sometimes already your friend is like saying z you can see she's uncomfortable and the guy is still insisting yeah sometimes even that being drunk just you you get so bad and you're like i think i've been in that situation you're like yo what's up with this guy no and in that situation don't leave your friends know friends yeah yeah never leave your friends yeah just put my left alone i really wonder how they're friends we are your friends we've spoken to so many girls in the club in the club young girls yeah we are just like babe but you know the young girls when you are young you just leave you don't even care okay we came five of us but you have gone home no now we are telling you guys you need to to check with your friends yeah of course everyone has a responsibility to themselves but also just be your sister's keeper exactly but sometimes the boost just goes left yeah question what is what is where is the boundary between being your sister's keeper and now you're being a blocker if like for example this guy who has come and he's like let's say he's not so good looking so you know that nothing that's funny oh sorry okay fine yeah so let's say this guy's just not so good looking but may have said me he's coming i'm drunk and words to me i want to go home with him and i'm just like literally i'm going home but you know that i'm going to regret having him tomorrow morning are you gonna be like i don't think we should like you know you don't think it's whatever or you just be like okay i respect you a grown one you go and do what you want i mean what is funny is the fact that him being ugly is like the the big thing here [Laughter] you know it's more it's it's more for me it would be more from a pla it would be i would have to determine how drunk you are because if i see this is seriously a decision you're making just because you're drunk he's here and everyone's good looking in the club maybe or just be a bit like girl are you sure like just you know but i don't know how i'm going to like tie you down yeah yeah but yeah i think how how intoxicated someone is definitely makes me feel like i'm a bit more of a i'm the like the power of attorney of that time you know and based on how drunk you are because if you're still a bit tipsy and you're making your decision like i still see you are you then these you know i mean make your mistake if you want but if i see you're intoxicated then i will be like yeah that's problematic yeah yeah i think there's times also like sometimes you announced before you're like wait me today i'm trying to score so yeah yeah yeah don't get in the way don't get in the way let me get by so if they're super drunk yeah of course as a friend you need to step in for sure and be like i don't think you're in a condition to go with anyone right now yeah and what you whatever your friend is going through at that time because if you know they're going through a thing that is really messing with them and that's why they're making this decision maybe maybe you should not go home with him yeah you know try and convince them to have a chat tell them yeah like we're going to get his number we'll give him your number yeah you talk tomorrow yeah and then also another thing if your friend is not okay and you both go out and you know she's ready to get up you as a as a friend don't get as up as her yeah you need to be there to take care of your friend yeah yeah okay let me say one and this is based on a question which we we got asked the other day um the enemy of my friend is also my enemy do we agree it depends yeah that's a controversial one and somebody asked us the other day it's like so if is is any of your enemies my enemies i feel like almost like yeah sort of it depends because i feel like okay we are adults i'm not just going to go around hating someone but like you for example you automatically hated someone who i dated before she was someone who did it but now even i'm just like this is idiot stupid faces here and i just genuinely feel like i don't like them because of the fact that i know what the history was you know so i feel like naturally then yeah but if someone's just your enemy because you just don't like them then i mean yeah i don't know it depends yeah but if someone treated you badly or who clearly you had some really really horrible past with then definitely i'm not going to like them as well and what about in this scenario like this like one of you crosses a massive boundary with the other but you guys still have your individual um friendships so like how do you maneuver around that huh oh um sorry so you guys are in a group and you all have individual friendships and let's say juice crosses your boundary or whatever and it's something which is obviously bad does that mean now that jules is not a friend of all of you guys because whatever she's done is clearly like ridiculous to ivy or do you guys stick to you do you understand no that one i think is a bit hey that one is deep where that was even made but i want to know the situation yeah okay jules slept with ivy's man by mistake i fell down and then there was another someone had exited [Laughter] in that you have to have had a very very terrible terrible terrible past with this person and yeah and that's where the line is crossed let's see if what if it was maybe an abusive relationship with an ex or something yeah i do not expect you to be friends yeah in any way whatsoever any way whatsoever for example but if it's something let's say you concerned with someone in your 20s now in our 30s it was something small yeah i i mean maybe we can get we can get over that yeah yeah i guess depends on the situation it depends on the situation yeah it really does but if somebody has truly truly like hurt one of my friends like i'm just i'm happy to cancel like we can just struggle maybe on all social media yeah that's a point [Music] you me for me obviously it's yeah yeah yeah if you're if someone i i know even that if it's someone who i know you have a difficult relationship with i would not encourage a friendship with that person you know so sometimes pushing like media like you find so many people who maybe you don't even mess with like that even this person who she's saying because he's also in media now we're all here but some situations are gonna need to even sometimes you need to get the bag with somebody who maybe we had a beef with i can't expect you to say no to a bag because of that but to extend that to a bit more of a friendship or acquaintances then that's when it's problematic yeah i can't be coming on your stories to see people who we have who have hurt me yes the other day that you are hanging out with someone who you know i hate and who hates me [Laughter] and i was like oh so your best friend [Applause] i was so conscious not to post this person because we're all in a big group so it's this one person who's problematic so now all these other people are not problematic but i know this would be a problem for her so i was like i did not in fact the one post i posted about them there was nowhere there was nowhere so i tried to not trigger her but my man has exposed me enough yeah and i was like so they're on the same beach in the same beach okay you see i did i did try yeah but where were you hanging out with them to begin with this these other people are so fun and amazing but you you hung out with him like you guys had talked like even drunk drinks together or something no when we were just there in all of us we could not take this after that yeah [Laughter] this is a person who who trolled me abused me insulted me on on twitter like we literally had never even met never anything but i mean it's just like and i was just like i don't even understand so every time i see him just like yeah and we also had we were in a campaign together yeah we were in a campaign together exactly and then that's when i found out i didn't know um that they had you see now the bag is here no the bug is there i'm not going to stand in the way of your body yeah total that's why they were hanging out to sleep they are trying to i don't know how's the truth i've apologized to you no never one once apologized to me i was like really interesting yeah that's so interesting in the bar like they found they're like ivy i'm the one who started this conversation on twitter i'm sorry it was so weird i was like what did you say i said it's okay is it okay i mean what do you do they realized that yeah i feel like trolls don't see the people they draw as people they don't so they also number one don't even ever think that whatever it is that was happening even caused any damage because all of the time they're just doing it because they need attention and they want to you know have their voice on they're not thinking that who they're talking about is a person who has feelings who's going to be affected by this so maybe that's why the people don't even apologize because they think that you you are touchable you're not a person and it's forgotten because it's like two years or three years or whatever but you're like you literally hurt me you know yeah yeah all right fine i think that's done i think we're done with that conversation yeah you out to us oh okay fine anybody has something that they feel a running point a burning code as she was talking about 20s and talking about relationships um i'm not sure where where the boundary is with x's so lorna has dated somebody um i know this person they broke up lona is married maybe she's on her fourth kid and then this guy is talking to me me i'm still in the gyro so now i is this still a boundary because now you're married i mean you know what i mean and i'm also trying to be happy as well yeah i think if it's a it's a it's a horrible situation that feels like it will always be raw probably it's problematic but i think that would be a conversation like someone like to me yeah yeah and maybe he's involved yeah change yeah yeah your friend is happy happy yeah this is not a real situation guys yeah it's not in general the thing of exes cause you see maybe i never got over him yeah no like you literally still have to have the conversation with me even if it's someone who i just not even even to the relationship to just a situationship or something i feel like still it should be worth a mention at least yeah of course wow so what we are saying is that it's not all it's not black and white like all x's are off i i would say give a tiny expiry date then exactly i think they look again no i'm saying that's why it can be a bit um structured that that code can be a bit structured they need there needs to be there needs to be an ex like i said like at least a time at a time limit wait like it doesn't even matter this person is no one i'm here and whatever but it takes a long time sometimes to still not feel like this person you're you're attached to this person yeah because honestly nairobi is small there will be adults we run in basically the same circles yeah um i don't think i've been have i been in the situation no no no no i've visited somebody but then i became friends with their ex when i was already in the relationship with them so that's different but but um but this these things happen so you guys are now off i'm happily married and now i can't start oh and you had like 10 so half of nairobi is now off limits yeah so it's only this half and these ones are females only all the men are taken or someone's eggs i think it's worth a conversation but there are some exits that are yeah no forever [Music] when you watch all these shows like with friends and group friends and stuff it's there's always don't listen to each other in reality it happens yeah that's why um i have a friend we always used to say that life is lived in conversation and she's always like there's no hard and fast rules about anything everything is just cut we just talk about things because that will be serious for you maybe for someone else it's just like no that's not a problem for me so in conversation if you it's now if you're this guy and you're not telling me then now i happen to see you guys coming out of a room and then i'm just like wait what when did that happen that's when now it becomes messy but otherwise it's just like i mean let's just talk let's just talk about it let's communicate um i feel like girl code is is the thing in the air or maybe that is communicating conversation that kind of governs and keeps the friendship feeling rich and feeling you know you being the sisterhood there's a code that protects the sisterhood um i would say so whatever your girl code is please let us know in the comments below because we want to know if you disagree with some of ours as well we can fight in the comments it's completely fine um guys please 100 stop and go and follow just ivy juice and over 25. we are a fan of you guys so having you here we feel so honored me i've been following from when you guys were in our bedroom upstairs someone's upstairs wow wow used to comment on our videos oh yeah what happened and what happened to your blog their blog they've lost their vlog i used to watch all of them i see this yeah you were like one of my first camera subscribers yeah i was like your first episode i remember your comments as you guys are about to change the game and you have things things i'll tell you what happened but guys we love you we appreciate you thank you so much for consistently supporting us he doesn't like doing this but hashtag wrote to a hundred thousand subscribers [Applause] go to 100k yes yeah i love it and we're gonna see you guys in the next episode make sure you subscribe [Music]

Channel: TMI Podcast KE

Views: 193,407

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Id: 2wJJSAzxZCY

Length: 59min 47sec (3587 seconds)

Published: Wed May 25 2022