I’m gonna- I’m gonna let some, uh, teenagers
on the internet psychoanalyze me again. Because that went really well
the first couple times. [♪♪♪] I don't have anything prepared. I am going to be picking these as we go. [Reading Chat]
“Which Saul Goodman suit are you?” Oh, my God. Is that a-
Is that a real one? It says my search returned no results. [Reading Chat]
“I don’t know, but I hope it is,” You got my hopes up! [Laughter] Hey, guys? Okay, I’m-
I’m running into a problem. I just turned 25, [Laughter] And then I think I could just stop there. I think you'll understand. Like, I'm looking at the front page, “Would you get bullied at my school?” Yes, because I'm 25 years old. [Laughter] [Reading Chat]
“I don’t think it’s an age thing,
I think just the quizzes suck?” It’s an age thing. [Laughter] Oh! Now here’s a good one. “Are you a possum, raccoon, or skunk?” “I had an epiphany, so I made another quiz” Trinkets? “Mm! Yes, please!” “Eh.” “I tasteful amount.” [Laughter] I'm going to have to go with “Mm, yes please,”
‘cause I do- I do love myself some trinkets. “Where am I at?” [Laughter] They want me to dox myself! “Under an abandoned streetlight?” No. Well, I have-
I have dark mode turned on. This would be under an abandoned streetlight. Ow! There are no lights turned on in
my room right now. [Laughter] I’m- I'm literally sitting here, enshrouded in
darkness while doing these quizzes right now. I- I guess in terms of vibes, yeah. I am
totally chilling in a log right now. “Which one describes me best?” I really need to understand, like...
where I'm at right now. Because, I could be all three of
these at any given time. Someone just said... [Reading Chat]
“You are a creature to me,
but I only watch your videos and stuff.” [Laughter] Which is, like, so true. I’m not creature-coded! Maybe my shirt is made of wool and that, like, comes
from a creature, so maybe I’m creature coated? [Unconvincing Laughter] You didn’t see that.
“Which rock do you want?” I want a smooth rock! If there is one truth in this life that I will
hold in my heart until the day I die, Until the day I leave this mortal coil. Nothing is better than a smooth rock. “Favorite variety of trash?” Plastic cups. I can not leave cups and straws and
straw paper alone. For the life of me. Whenever I have, like a- like a drink in front
of me, and I’ve used the straw, By the end of my drink- Actually,
probably past the finale of my beverage, The straw is either bent in eight places and chewed up.
Like, to a monstrous degree, I am chewing on it. Or, if I'm still drinking the drink, what I end up
doing is I will take the leftover straw paper, and roll it up into a single little straw paper roll, and just, like, kinda pull on the end of it so it’s,
like, as tight and, like, as rigid as possible, y’know? And then I j- And then I just, like, hold it between
my index finger and my thumb like a little thing. Like, I've created a little pellet
for myself out of straw paper, Or! Alternatively, I will rip it apart
and then roll it up into little balls, and then on the table in front of me,
I will organize the balls by size. [Laughter] The funniest fucking thing happened the other day. Joy and I were coming home from dinner
and we got some drinks to go. I had finished mine and Joy was like, “Hey, you can have as much of
the rest of mine as you want.” So I was like,
“Okay, cool. Yeah, Thank you so much.” So I started drinking it. I don't know what happened,
but at a certain point I, without realizing it, Took the straw, and I bent it in half, And then I shoved it into the closed lid to where it was completely inaccessible
without taking the lid off. And so we're walking down
the stairs, and Joy is like, “Hey, can I have one more sip of it?” [Wheeze] And I was like, “Oh yeah, sure, no problem.” I hand it to her and she's like, “Hey...” “What happened to the straw?” [Laughter] And I was like... “Oh, no.” I was like, “It happened again.” You would have every right to call me creature-coded if
there’s any semblance of a straw in front of me. “Bug?” No, thank you. Moving on. I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed
when it comes to most bugs. I- I think I can tolerate being next to a snail. Actually, at times, I might even enjoy it. I've enjoyed seeing a snail every so often. I'm like, you know what? You fucking go, little buddy. Let's hang out. “Favorite form of overcoat?” I used to be a zip up hoodie gal. I think nowadays I'm a coat with buttons kind of lady. I may have mentioned this before, I'm 25 now. Um, I'm a little more sophisticated. Uh, I'll drink some red wine every so often. I’m a damn raccoon, baby! Woo-hoo! That's what I'm talking about! Look at this guy! Look at this guy! [Reading Chat]
“If you click on the ‘more quizzes’ tab, and
then click back out and click back in,” “You should be able to generate
random ones, I think” Got to have a damn engineering
degree to browse uQuiz, I guess. “What super-specific aesthetic are you?” That's pretty good. “I found this list of aesthetics
on, like, Reddit, or something.” “Creature Core” “Pick some TV shows, even
if you don’t know them at all.” Awe, man! Um... X-Files, Gravity Falls... I mean, that's already got the advantage. They got Gravity Falls on there. “What do you normally wear to bed?” Oh, Jesus... I’ve dabbled in all of these, I’m not gonna lie. And I've dabbled in ones not even <i>listed.</i> I'm a unique sleeper. Uh, “Matching set PJs (like an absolute psycho).” [Laughter] “She makes me <b>poop,</b>” [Guttural Noise] “And I make her <b>pee.</b>” “Why? Because we’re flippin’ psychos!” Mandatory. I have to show you this again. Oh, I'm getting some weird results. I shouldn’t- I should not have just
looked up “she makes...” [Laughter] “She makes me <b>poop.</b>” [Guttural Noise] “And I make her <b>pee.</b>” “Why?” “Because we’re flippin’ psychos!” [Evil Laughter] [Penny Laughing] Uh, “Pick some music artists, even if you-” Oh, Jesus... This is literally just, like, “I wanna know which one of my friends
are as into Ariana Grande as me.” [Laughter] Like, why is this happening? This one's got David Bowie and Elton John And I basically have no emotional attachment
to, like, any of these other ones. I don't even have that much emotional
attachment to David Bowie and Elton John. Like, where's Bombay Bicycle Club? [Laughter] Where's Ben Folds? Where's The Family Crest? Hello? “If you could live in any US state,
which one would it be?” I gotta choose three? Are you going to split my atoms
across the United States of America? Also, what do you mean
“if I <i>could</i> live in any US state?” <i>I’ve lived in two!</i> “Pick a pet,” “No, thank you (either they’re nasty or they don’t like you).” You got some problems if you pick this. There- There are easy ways
around both of those problems that require just, like, a tiny little
bit of personal responsibility “Choose your ideal weather,” My perfect weather: Mid-Fall. It’s sunny out, but it’s not, like, Summer sun. It's broad daylight. The sky is not entirely blue,
it’s got little speckles of clouds, It's a fair day outside,
but it's also fucking cold. Little bit of a cold breeze here and there. The trees are speckled orange and yellow. Like, the leaves are <i>just</i> falling?
Like, it's early Autumn? And all of these mesh together.
You can hang out and, like, wear a scarf, and it's comfortable, but it's still pretty outside? That's where I'm at. I literally just described like
if a pumpkin spice latte were weather. [Laughter] Listen... I cannot resist being a
basic bitch every so often. “Pick a book.” Jesus! Stop with the “do you like the media I like?” questions! I'm dying over here! Books are not media, right? Like are media and literature
two different, like, categories? “They’re print,” Oh, right! Yeah, print media! Right. The term is right there. That's my bad. I forgot. Well, now we’ve learned something. I say “we.” I’m roping you into
this embarrassment with me. [Sudden Hysterical Laughter] [Continued Strained Laughter] I can’t- I need to stop looking- I can’t- I can’t-
I can’t keep looking at these. They’re killing me. “Pick a school subject.” Um, where’s <i>lunch?</i> [Laughter] [Canned Laughter] Am I right, or am I right? Where’s <i>recess?</i> [Nerdy Voice]
“Um, where’s my free period? Where’s chess club?” Okay, same joke four times.
I think we... we- it’s run its course. I'll just do the
“I’m in middle school and I hate every other class,” “but I'm on Tumblr a lot, and I like posting my school
sketches when I’m done with my homework,” vibe, And I’ll pick art. [Laughter] Uh-oh. [Laughter] I mean, like, this is just what I sleep in. Oh, no, this is so teen-core... I've been- I've been meaning
to get into some overalls. “Pick a room you'd like to nap in?” Okay, well, which one has the comfiest looking bed? If it’s just a nap, I gotta get the
most out of that that I can. This looks like prime time napping. The brightness actually kind
of benefits the nap, I think, because it makes it easier to get up? ‘Cause like, when- when I take a nap
and I wake up in, like, a dark room like this, it makes it a lot more tempting
to just go right back to sleep. I think- I'm thinking very practical right
now, which is totally against like the... Like, the spirit of what this question was written in Like, it's basically like, which
one of these would you put on Pinterest? I do like kind of the-
the fairy light look on this one. I'm just not feeling the rain in the daytime,
I honestly think that’s kind of fucking with it for me. I can't stand it when the sky is gray. It- It makes me depressed! It genuinely,
like, it- Like, it fucks with me. “Choose a love language.” Um, I would say “quality time.” I am not a very high maintenance person. I get very uncomfortable when- when I have to
think of something to ask for in terms of gifts, or... When I am also, like, put in a position where I
have to think of something to get people It’s something that I'll do my best to do,
because I know that’s just, like, me, When it comes to love languages and how we
communicate appreciate for each other, I need to, like, give as much as I receive,
but it doesn’t come naturally to me. I kind of just, like, talk a lot
when I really like somebody, and... even if we're not really doing anything,
sometimes that's even better for me. I'm an introvert, so when I am going out
of my way to spend time with somebody, It’s probably a good sign that I
really, really like that person. “Finally, pick an item from nature” Uh, where’s Animal Crossing froggy chair? Angel-core? <i>Hey, hey, hey!</i> That's not too shabby. [Laughter] You're a softie at heart, but when someone
messes with you, you can become a little vengeful. That's not true. It is immensely hard for me to hold a grudge. I- I will forget! Are there any My Little Pony quizzes? I mean, yeah, there's going to be “Which Character?”
“Which Character?” Which Character?” “What’s Your Cutie Mark?” “Which Character?” “Which Character?” [Laugh]
“Which-” “Which Character?” “Which Character Are You?” “Which My Little Pony Character Are You?” “Which My Little Pony Villain Are You?” Actually, that one kinda goes hard.
I'm going to do that one. I- I think it's mandated. “Questions are random and weird. Good luck.” My name is Applejack. Okay... [Wheeze] Wow! You weren't kidding! [Reading Chat]
“Put yes?” Why? Wh- Why would you ask me to say yes? “Which of the main 6 is your favorite?” Um, misspelling! What the frick? It’s Applejack. We know this. Uh, she’s a hard worker. She's a wonderful sister. She's a wonderful friend. Her element of harmony
is literally honesty. That's a friend you want in your life. Oh, yeah, I- yeah,
self-love Applejack. “Rock, paper, or scissors?” So we're getting into philosophy? Anyway, probably paper, because paper
is where I draw my- all my little blorbos “Pick a hated episode you hate the most.” This one doesn't have either
of my least favorites on it. Slice of Life and Daring Don't
are like the worst of it. [Laughter] They’re so bad. “Spike being annoying and clingy to
Applejack (Spike at Your Service).” Can I be honest? I read the synopsis to this one and I was like, “Oh! Okay, so I know exactly how
this episode is going to go,” “and I don’t need to watch it
because it’s a Spike episode.” I'm sick of this trope in cartoons anyway. I think- I think I’ve got to pick Spike at Your Service
just by virtue of the fact that... ...I read the synopsis of the episode, and that was
enough to tell me I didn’t want to watch it. “Pick an MLP villain that isn’t one of the results.” The Dazzlings aren’t here? Tempest Shadow?! Starlight Glimmer?! Then why are we even doing this quiz? I swear to God, if we get Tirek,
I'm deleting my computer. Oh, God damn it. It's black and blue.
I'm not even going to- [Laughing]
I’m not even gonna linger on this one. When was this quiz made? “Do you have a weird thing
you do when going to sleep?” “I listen to white noise,” “I leave the TV on,”
“I sleep with a night light,” “I use a sleep mask,” [Confused Laughter] Using a sleep mask is not a weird thing! Neither is a night light. None of these are “weird things.” I don't necessarily- I don't leave the TV on, but I do listen
to YouTube videos when I go to sleep. Speaking of! If you want to add a new weird thing to your
list of weird things you do when you go to sleep, make sure to listen to Midnight Snap on SnapCube 2! It's a brand new sleep-aid show
and it's really important to me, and a lot of people get a lot of enjoyment
out of it apparently, which is awesome. So, yeah. Check it out. You seem like a fun person, I hope that Applejack sends you a nice
apple fritter treat for your birthday next year. And remember, friendship is magic! <i>God damn it!</i> Fuck you! I am not Sombra! I’m like Nightmare Moon at worst!
This fuckin’ stinks. Someone mentioned I should do the Wizard Maze quiz. I remember that was actually a big request,
uh, I think the first time I did uQuiz stuff. The quiz is called
“Try To Find Your Way Out of My Wizard Maze” Awe, damn, I was gonna- I was gonna do
“Olivia Wizard and the Lizard Lizard.” “Hello wizards,” “Hi,” “What are those things?” [Laughter] Hello, Wizards. Why are these two the same? You wrote- Oh, oh, “You wrote ‘hello wizards’ twice, if this is your earnest
response, own it, but know it will seal your fate.” No... No! No! Listen, who would not read that twice
and just think “You wrote that twice?” I don't want to die because I had
a normal human response! “I’m enjoying my stroll, looking up at the sky.” “It's a nice day out and
the clouds are soft and buoyant.” Those clouds are not soft and buoyant... It might just be the exposure,
but that's the damn... that's the sky. “You’ve come to a fork in the path,
a perfect left/right split.” I probably waffle over the choice for a little while before choosing
a direction, and then backtrack almost immediately. “Your choices led you to a dead end.”
Fuck! Uh, “This was the right choice, clearly this is a trap
and I can phase right through the bushes.” “This is not true, and you cannot phase
through the hedges in the maze.” “Same as above, but I absolutely
can phase through the hedges.” “You spend several full minutes attempting this,” “and spend the next half hour scratching at
bug bites as your traverse the maze, a little sheepishly.” I don't even need to read the rest of
them to know that that’s me. I must again reiterate,
I am the queen of the sunk cost fallacy. [Gasp] “There is a wizard standing at the center of the maze.” “Think carefully about how you
interact with the wizard.” I love wizard. Wait, no. Hi, wizard. We- We don't know each other yet. I’m not in the psychic fugue state! You're not going to put me back
in the psychic lock with the wizard, okay? I’m not in the psychic trap, okay? You can be in the psychic trap! Be my guest. “I am lost within the maze,”
“I am lost within the maze,” “I am lost within the maze,” I am lost within the maze. Version three. “You are crawling on your belly. Why?” I don't know. I'm just having a bit of fun.
I'm just getting silly with it. I'm- I’m not in the psychic
trap, so I might as well. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Uh, yet again, I’m a version three kind of gal. “How many questions do you think
this thing will let me ask you?” Bit too meta for me. I don't care about the number of questions! I- I knew about the number of questions going in. Th- Th- This- This is a contract that
you and I have signed up for. “You encounter another
person within the maze.” “You have never seen another
person within the maze.” “You see them from behind and can't tell
if you're looking at yourself or not.” [Gibberish] [Screaming Followed By More Gibberish] Can you believe that you are still tr... traipsing? What is this? Is this a word? Did I skip vocabulary class that day? That is a real word? It's kind of awesome. I'm kind of into it. That’s kind of a sick word. “Tell me how you feel
this deep within my maze.” “How are things going within your 12 year psy-” I’m not in the prison! What the fuck!? Why do you want me to be in the prison so much? I did not look the wizard in the eyes, and so, I did not fall within a psychic
prison inside my own mind! “You pass through an archway.” [Laughter] You pass through-
“You have passed through a third archway.” “You've passed through your twenty second archway.” “The roar of cars is deafening.” “You pass through an archway.” “I get in one of the cars,” GTA! Yo! “We are coming to the end soon.” [Laughing]
We are not. [Laughter] “The end of what, wizard?” [Quiet Laughter] “I think I cracked it since the last time
there was a fork in the road.” “I think I can make it
through the hedges this time.” [Wheeze] “You're stumbling about the maze when you come
across a garden of crystal gazing balls.” “Which do you gaze into?” <i>Oooh!</i> I like this one, I think it tells a story. “Did you like the orb question?” Yes, I did. I did. I liked the orb question a lot- [Gasp] [Ashley From Resident Evil 4]
“LEON!” Oh, shit! Ashley. Right, okay. “Moment of truth: would you kiss a wizard?” “I don’t think I’d like to,”
“Yes, I’d kiss it with-” No. No. Yeah. No, no way. Freaks! Freaks! “How are you doing, 38 questions in?” “Which of these wizards is your favorite?
There is no wrong answer here.” Yo, it's gotta be this one. I don’t know why, just the immediate... I think it’s the angle, y’know? “As you crisscross the pathways of the hedge maze,
you spot something on the path ahead.” “I watch it for some time before I blink and...” [Gasp] It’s gone! “Must’ve been my imagination,” I'm playing this as an NPC now. [NPC Voice]
“Must’ve heard something.” [NPC Voice]
“I could’ve sworn I heard something.” [NPC Voice]
“Who’s there!?” [NPC Voice]
“Must’ve been my imagination...” [NPC Voice]
”Huh?!” [NPC Voice]
“Hmm. It’s nothing.” I really like whenever an orb emanates. Y’know? No elaboration. “Oh! The shape is back...” [Boss Music Starts Playing] [Laugh] Great timing... On the music.
“It seems you have a friend.” [Laughing]
Special shape. Oh, man, you can't tempt me with special shape! “Something is burning within the maze.” Maybe it's fine. [Laughter] “You turn to see the corner to see a wizard
lobbing fire balls at the topiaries?!” Why?! “I leave it alone, that’s none of my business.” That's my fuckin’ daily mantra. You do you, man. “These soft bushes look so,
so familiar. What could it be?” Wizard hat 3.0 edition. “This deep within the maze, shapes
begin to blur into one another.” f [Laughing]
“You’re beginning to see things that aren’t there.” Nah, that guy’s there! That's George! He's always been around. It's real to me.
It's real to me. It's George. Ah! Uh... Oh, shit, oh, fuck! “Hello. Noah.” That's not my name. ...anymore. “How long have you been here?” “Oh, yes. Welcome to the mind of
executive producer David Lynch.” Do I watch this...? “What is today's number?” [YouTube Video]
“Here we go for today’s number.” It’s David Lynch again. [Laughter] [YouTube Video]
“Swirl the numbers.” Swirl the numbers! Dude, can you stop showing me
the YouTube videos you really like? I didn’t sign up for this. Santa Claus? <i>WOAH!</i> <i>It’s Claus!</i> [YouTube Video]
“So what’s it gonna be, huh? Huh?” [YouTube Video]
“The saint? (sainte) Or the Grinch? (grunch)” I don't... Okay, listen. This is- This is- This is a funny video. I- I’m not here for this! I am gonna become a Gunch, though. God damn it, stop! No! I'm not watching your videos! This gets an L from me. “Do you like these visions I am plaguing you with?” No. I want to see the wizard. No... Oh, my God. I will-
I will literally stop. [Laughter] Like, I’m- I’m here for the wizard maze!
Not your- Not your... YouTube playlist! I take back everything I said. [Breaking Bad Remix]
“Boh. Boh. Boh-boh-boh.” [Breaking Bad Remix]
“Yeh?” [Breaking Bad Remix]
“<i>Boh</i>-boh-<i>boh</i>-boh-<i>boh</i>-boh-<i>boh.</i>” [Breaking Bad Remix]
“Yeh?” [Breaking Bad Remix]
“Boh-boh boh, boh, <i>boh</i>-boh-<i>boh</i>” [Breaking Bad Remix]
“Yeh?” [Penny Harmonizing]<i>
Bum,</i> ba-da-dum, <i>bum-bum,</i> ba-da-<i>dum.</i> [Penny Harmonizing]
“You are not the guy. You’re not capable of bein’
the guy. I had a guy, but now I don’t.” [Penny Harmonizing]
“You.” [Penny Harmonizing]
“Are not.” [Penny Harmonizing]
“The guy.” [Penny Harmonizing]
“Beh-beh, beh, <i>beeuuuuuhhhrr!</i>” Yeah, get comfy. People did say this quiz was very long. No! I'm not in prison! I’m not in psychic prison. “100 questions. We did it.” 100 wizards... Yes! [Canned Applause] Woo! “Please look at this shippo.” I- I did laugh. I did laugh at it. “Not one to be outdone, a wizard bursts from
the bushes and begins racing the hippo.” Go, you 3 legged beast! “The wizard wishes to offer a humble and
earnest thank you to everyone...” “...who took this silly quiz and fell in love
with the wizards past, present, and future.” “Thank you for all of the wiz love and
support, it’s truly been a journey.” “There is something to offer you
for your support in the next question.” Is this a damn advertisement? [Laughter] We got pranked! Yeah. You know, I- I respect the hustle. I resp- I respect the entrapment. [Laughter] “Any last thoughts before you taste freedom?” “You escaped from my wizard maze!” I did it! “You have somehow made it out of the maze alive.” “As you stumble beyond its hedges, your prize awaits you:” “A solitary wizard’s hat. Go ahead and take it.” “Whenever you want to return to the wizard maze, simply
don it and your journey through the maze will begin anew.” Thank you, wizard. [♪♪♪]
