George W Bush Stand Up Comedy (Really Funny!)

I'd like to thank the radio and TV Correspondents Association for providing dinner tonight and I'd like to thank the senator Webb for providing security I'm glad to see everybody here is enjoying themselves don't think I haven't noticed all the drinking that's been going on in my State of the Union address I said we needed to increase the use of ethanol well where should I start a year ago my approval rating was in the 30s my nominee for the Supreme Court had just withdrawn and my vice president had shot someone those were the good old days sorry the vice-president couldn't be here he's had a rough few weeks to be honest his feelings are kind of hurt said he was going on vacation to Afghanistan where people like him even the press certainly have had a lot to report lately take the current controversy I have to admit we really blew the way we let those attorneys go you know you've botched it when people sympathize with lawyers speaking of subpoenas it's good to see Speaker Pelosi tonight you know some have wondered how the two of us would get along some say she's bossy she's opinionated she's not to be crossed hey I get along with my mother but between the Congress and the press there is a lot of scrutiny in this job not a day goes by that I don't get scrutiny or one way or the other press is a lot tougher the second term it's reached the point I sometimes call on Helen Thomas just to hear a friendly voice no matter how tough it gets however I have no intention of becoming a lame-duck president unless of course Chaney accidentally shoots me in the leg okay I have 664 days left in the white house so technically I'm a temporary guest worker I'm considering what's next President Clinton of course wrote a very successful presidential memoirs with 10,000 pages or something I'm thinking of something really fun and creative for mine you know maybe a pop-up book consider a number of titles which do you like how W got his groove back who moved my presidency hand-worked is yzma Chaney by the way I'm not sure whether or not senator Obama's here last I heard he was not coming to the radio and TV Correspondents Dinner not enough press People magazine recently had a photo of the senator there on the beach in Hawaii is sleek hairless pecs glistening in the surf it shows how biased the press is you ever seen a shot of it like that of Denny Hastert whoo I do sit out who want to say a couple of things I'm I'm very happy one person who could not be here last year is here tonight and it's Bob Woodruff Bob we know it hadn't been easy we admire you all the more for what you've overcome and what you're still overcoming and Haven Christine and the cold bloom many of us knew your dad and I know life is hard without him he was such a fine guy but one thing we've all seen this evening is it he has fine daughters I know he's really could be really proud of someone who's not here tonight is Tony snow Tony called me and told me the outcome of his surgery my heart just sank but I know Tony's a fighter and Tony we're all looking forward to the day when you come back to the White House last last week we all heard the news about Elizabeth Edwards and again your heart just sinks for what she and her family faces and so too Bob would rip the bloom girls Elizabeth Edwards Tony Snow and of course our men and women in uniform Laura died and millions of other Americans are praying for you and your families may God bless you and thank you very much

Channel: MrCrowley

Views: 4,127,641

Keywords: george, bush, blooper, stand-up, comedy, stand, up, president, America, white, house, republician, routine, funny

Id: QH1RfcuNNoI

Length: 7min 16sec (436 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 20 2008

Reddit Comments

[u/alexscara]

Watching one of the morons behind the Iraq war ... a criminally-insane asshole who should be in jail ... trying to be cute and funny instead. Well ... isn't that special! Jeffrey Dahmer not available that night?