(Game Sack Theme) (crash) - Hello and welcome to Game Sack. In this episode I'm gonna
take a look at some games that are, for all intents and
purposes, practically broken. I mean, these games were,
in no way, shape, or form, ready to be released in
their current condition. And with that said, let's
just get one of the big ones right out of the way. (sweet rock music) Yes, it's Superman for the
Nintendo 64 from Titus. Did you just say tits? This one was sent to us
maybe five or six years ago by Warp Zone Games, and I never even bothered
turning it on until now. I really don't wanna play
this, but here goes nothing. Oh, it looks like Superman's friends have been willingly
captured by Lex Luthor, and I need to rescue them
from a virtual world. - [Superman] Then
there's no time to waste. - [Joe] Okay, right off
the bat I have absolutely no idea how to control Superman. I struggle for a bit, but eventually, I figure out the controls well enough to fly through these rings. And why am I flying through rings? Is this a bonus stage already? Because this is definitely something that you would do in a bonus stage. I've got to say, it's
pretty tough, at first. I keep missing a ring and then I'd go back and try to get it and I
eventually run out of time. Why is Lex Luthor timing me, and why do I just give up
when the timer runs out? Anyway, like I said, it
can be tough at first, because the game is actually trying to run as fast as it can, meaning
that it will speed up and slow down depending
on how much is on screen, and that can really throw you off. You do get used to it, though, and actually start to become quite adept at flying through all of these dumb rings. Also, it turns out that
you can miss three or four of them and still make it to the end, so no need to turn
around like I was doing. So you make it to the end, and then you're given
some quick instructions, and wait, I did not
have time to read that! So, I fumble around
with the controls again while the new timer runs out. And then, it puts me all the way back at the start of the rings. It turns out that I'm trying to prevent the only two cars in the
city from running over the only two pedestrians in the city. (brakes screech)
I just have to pick them up and move them away. And initially, that was
kind of hard for me to do, because I was still
figuring out the controls. Anyway, once you do that, all right, more rings! Lex says that you're solving his maze by flying through these things
in the allotted time period. Uh, Lex, I've got news for you: This isn't a maze, it's
just a bunch of rings. You are truly an idiot. Next, I need to carry a
police car down the street before the thugs blow it up with bazookas. And after that, more rings. Then you're fighting these shadow guys which all die with one hit, with some of the worst fighting controls I've ever experienced. Come on, Superman, just hit 'em, It's not that hard. And then, you guessed it. More rings to fly through. I don't understand why a character that's practically
invincible like Superman is beholden to rings that
he has to fly through. Oh, and this one is fun. You have to defeat the
three scary dust devils with your super breath. The game actually calls
them tornadoes, though. But, you just can't fly
up to them and breathe. Oh no. First, you need to collect this damn icon, otherwise your breath won't work. And this icon can be a
bitch to grab if you happen to miss it as you're
flying toward the twisters. This section doesn't have a timer at all, but sometimes you still
lose for no reason. And of course, if you lose, back to flying through the rings. Well, actually, not always. Sometimes it will start
you out after the rings, and I can't find any
rhyme or reason for it. Anyway, defeat the dust devils
and fly through more rings. The developers really
like this ring stuff. And I mean they really, really like it. And they're really hoping that you like it as much as they do. Make it to the end in time and you win. Woo-hoo! Now, you're finally done with stage one. In stage two, it looks like
things are about to get a little bit interesting. Well, they would be interesting
if the control wasn't as awful as it is. You run around finding
cards to open doors remotely like you do in a lot of
different action adventure games. You actually have things you
need to do in a certain order. But the presentation and
the gameplay is just so bad that it doesn't work at all. Often, Superman won't
walk in the direction that you press if the camera's
not directly behind him. Pressing the Z button
switches between flight and ground modes, and that
can get you mixed up as well. For example, sometimes I press Z to fly, but I just float there. I can't do anything but just
drop back down and try again. The variable frame rate
doesn't help you here, either. In fact, I'm amazed that
Titus was able to make this game as bad as it is. It's super letterboxed,
so, the game doesn't take up much screen real estate at all. I've zoomed it in for this review, but, on a normal TV, it would look like this. The logic behind this is that the less you draw on the screen, the faster the processors
can update everything. That's why a lot of Super
Nintendo games are letterboxed. And despite having less
stuff onscreen as a result, This game is plagued with
slow-down and a draw distance of about maybe 25 feet. There's lots of glitchy
stuff that can get you stuck, and you'll be lucky if you
can wiggle your way out. Possibly the best part
about the game is that it has a few voice clips from the animated Superman cartoon
that was on at the time. - [Superman] Then
there's no time to waste. - [Joe] This whole game
is a waste of time. Every other stage is a fly-through-a-ton-of-rings-a-bunch-of-times
snore-fest. And the action adventure stages really aren't much more exciting, either. According to an interview
with John Wheeler, developer Eric... Caen? I don't know how to
pronounce that, it's French. Anyway, he blamed Warner
Brothers and DC for limiting what they could do and
insisting that it take place in a virtual world. He also said that less than 10 percent of what they wanted made it into the game, and he also blamed the Nintendo 64 for not being able to
deliver what they wanted. Okay, I can understand the restrictions on the character's powers
and the virtual world, and the such, but that does not mess up the game's control and design, nor does the Nintendo 64 being what it is. So, I'm gonna say that's
somewhat of a cop out. The game feels to me
like the team who made it didn't share a singular vision, and the ring levels were filler
to pad the game's length, since it fell short otherwise. It's a very bad and very
unfinished and unpolished product, and my life is now worse
having had played it. (sad, dramatic music)
(explosion) (wind) (explosion) (wind) (explosion) (explosion) (siren beeps)
(wind) (crash) (crappy music) - Quaaaaaid! Start the reactor! - [Joe] This is Slaughter
Sport on the Genesis from RazorSoft. This was an attempt at a
one-on-one fighting game long before they refined the genre into what we know it as today. This game was originally released as Tongue of the Fatman on PC, but it's also known as
Mondu's Fight Palace on other platforms. When the Genesis was announced, this was one of the
first third-party games that was supposed to come out, along with the football
game called Hard Yardage. Unfortunately, Activision was falling on some pretty hard times back then. Their Hard Yardage game
was to be repurposed into the first Joe Montana Football game, but they were in no condition to deliver. So Sega got Park Place Productions to make their football game for them, and Mondu's Fight Palace was neglected. As time went on, edgy publisher RazorSoft picked up the license, changed
the name to Slaughter Sport, and called it a day. And if you ever get the
chance, please don't play this. The first thing you notice
is that you get stuck playing as the weakling human fighting against a blue version of yourself. The next thing that you notice is that none of your button
presses seem to register. You have to hold the buttons
down for half a second it seems before you actually attack. And even then, it's not
like you stand a chance of your attack doing much damage as the enemy just darts all around you delivering the punishment. You have two attacks as
well as a special item, all mapped to their very own buttons. The special attack causes
status effects to your opponent, like a spike shield above their head so that they can't jump. You can actually select
other characters in the game, but you have to enter
codes with the controller in the title screen to do it. And you'll definitely need to do this if you want to have any chance
of beating this first round. If you win, you get taken to the shop where you can buy more special items, and it tells you what each of them do. You can also buy more
health and attack power. That's right, your health
isn't refilled between rounds! You have to buy it back! And you can only lose three times before it's a game over for you. Oh, and I almost forgot: When you get knocked down, you get back up facing
away from your opponent. You have to turn around
before you can attack, which isn't quick or easy. And by this time, your
opponent has already delivered two or three attacks. It's infuriating! Some characters do have backward attacks like this farting demon guy. What does this game
think it is, Primal Rage? God, how I wish it were. One nice thing I can say, though, is that the scrolling is
pretty good for its time. But this game is relentless
and the controls are so broken that you do not stand a chance. It's absolutely no wonder that
Activision abandoned this, and not at all surprising
that RazorSoft picked it up, as their standards have
never been that high. (ominous, yet pathetic music)
(growls) (punches)
(growls) (hits)
(screams) (slurps) (shouts)
(screams) (sighs)
(wimpy dramatic music) Okay, I know at least one of you out there has wanted me to play Superman
on the Nintendo 64 forever, like six, seven years now. You know who you are. I hope you can die happy
now, because I can't. Aw, geez. Anyway, let's take a look at two more of these pieces of shi-- (funky cool retro music) (mediocre music) This is CrimeWave, an exclusive game on
the Saturn from Eidos. There's a rash of crime on the streets, and of course you as a bounty
hunter need to stop it. The game's played in your car with a rotating isometric view. This does no favors for the gameplay, which I'll touch on in just a bit. You start out just driving around while the game figures
out a target car for you. Once that finally happens, you follow the red arrow
to wherever it points you. But getting there is
not as easy as it seems, thanks to the aforementioned
isometric view. It's often very difficult to
see paths that you can take and areas where you can't
go, but you think you can. There are barriers everywhere. And you don't rotate the camera yourself, the screen rotates automatically, depending on the direction
your car is pointed. And it always feels like
the road and the camera are somehow fighting you. It's all very disorienting, as I'm sure you can tell
just by watching this. It doesn't help that
you can't see very much around your car at all. You can press the C
button to zoom out a bit, but not by much. There is a mini-map on the upper right to help you out a tiny bit, though. The problem is that you can only use it as a quick guide to glance at, because you need to keep
your eyes on the main screen to maneuver around the obstacles. And let's not forget that the framerate is barely even in the double
digits most of the time. Once you make it to the target car, your task, of course, is to destroy them. This is easier said than done, because in order to shoot them, you need to be pointing at them. And that is damn hard
to do a lot of the time, since everything is always moving around. You can fire backwards, but it's not often that
you'll have the proper weapons in stock to do that. If you manage to destroy the target car, pick up all the junk that they drop, which is usually extra weapons and stuff, and wait for the game to
pick a new target for you. Then you go and do it all again. If your target escapes, you'll have to wait for the game to assign another one for
you, and that's the thing: The target is always escaping, or the timer runs out
before you get to them, mainly because driving
around in this world is so disorienting. And the game sometimes
takes its own sweet time locating another target
for you, and when it does, of course, it's never close by. There are also a lot of
innocent cars driving around that get in your way,
and if they get damaged, you get fined, and when that happens, you'll just need to destroy
even more enemies to advance. That's right, you get 100 Meks each time you destroy a target. And once you have enough Meks, you can finally go through
the gate into the next area. If what I've already said
about this game already doesn't sound bad enough, well, the game hesitates and pauses a lot. Just look at this. Just try maintaining control
when this keeps happening. And it happens quite a bit, nearly making the game
unplayable at times. Sometimes, I feel like the
game is just gonna lock up. You've also gotta worry about rivals driving around trying to kill you. And these guys are also going after the same targets that you are. And there's even random
turrets on the ground that shoot at you. There's lots of different
areas in the game and different types of vehicles to drive, but the thing is that it's just never fun, because the game feels like my Saturn's about to cough out its CPU, and it's just not designed well at all. There's even some fun
little bugs, like here, where you drive under the overpass, and you can just get on top
of the bridge just magically. This bug is repeatable, and honestly, I'm not that surprised
that they didn't catch it. It's like they got so far making the game and realized that it's barely playable that they just might as well
stop and just release it now. Overall, I feel that this
game did have potential, but the technical as
well as the design flaws just really do bring it down. (uninteresting music)
(bullets firing) (brakes screech)
(bombs explode) (tires squeal)
(bombs explode) (bombs explode) (engine whirs)
(brakes squeal) (car explodes) (crash) (promising music) I sure can't leave out Rise of the Robots from Absolute Entertainment,
shown here on the 3DO. The developers actually thought that they would have a leg up on Street Fighter II with this one. Seriously, they did. But, judging from the final result here, they've likely never played or
even seen Street Fighter II, or any other video game for that matter. You play as a six-foot-tall
naked robot thingy named Cyborg. That's right, he's the only
character that you can choose, at least in the single-player game. Yeah, that's what was wrong
with Street Fighter II, being able to choose your character, or even having interesting characters. Nobody wants that. Basically, it's a
Terminator-like storyline where the computer became smart and wants to eliminate humans, so it's taken over a bunch of machines that you have to fight
in one-on-one battles to save humanity, blah blah blah. The developers said that this
one would have amazing AI to learn the player's
patterns to make the game more fun and more challenging. Hm, sounds interesting. Everything here is pre-rendered, and the sprites animate smoothly. However, the backgrounds
don't scroll at all. You seem to have only one attack, no matter which button you
press on the controller, and that's a punch,
which turns into a kick if you press it mid-jump. If you hold down the L
or R shoulder button, that attack turns into a kick. And that's another thing that people hated about other fighting games: Too many attacks and good control. Don't want any of that. Honestly, I don't think it has a chance to dethrone Street Fighter
II, but maybe that's just me. The fighting action is completely broken. There's next to no strategy, and you'll only get frustrated trying to do the things that you can't do. In fact, I was lucky if
my attacks even landed. But who needs collision detection? According to the developers, you only need it randomly, sometimes. But of course, the enemy can
hit you without any issue. The visuals are extremely
dreary and lack variety. You mainly find yourself fighting in the most boring
warehouses ever imagined. It's as if the art director had a rule where everything had to look as boring and as lifeless as possible. And the sound isn't any better. All you hear in most stages is ambient room tone and
the timer counting down. (boring whoosh sound)
(timer ticks) (roar) Or this stage, where it
sounds like someone breathing. (timer ticks)
(wheezing) It's like they literally wanted to put the player to sleep. There is music, but only
during the FMV sequences. And there are a lot of these sequences, showing you running to the next area, the opponent wandering in, and other mundane stuff like that. If that's not bad enough, after you defeat the
first three opponents, you need to fight them again, because there aren't enough
unique characters in the game. The final boss is obviously inspired by the T-1000 from Terminator 2. This is actually kind of
cool, for about seven seconds, because her attacks are unavoidable, and she actually even
refills her own life gauge. The best part is that you
only have two continues for the entire game. And after the Game Over
screen, the credits roll, which you can't skip at all. Then you get the Rise
of the Robots screen, and some music plays, literally forever. This is it. You can't exit this screen. Even if you press everything,
it will stay here. The only way to try again is to literally power the console off, and then back on, which reboots the game. But honestly, I think the developers knew that you'd only ever play this once, so they didn't bother having the game return to the main menu. The 3DO was only one of the platforms it got ported to, though. It also came to the 16-bit consoles like the Super Nintendo here. This version is actually better than the 3DO port because of two things. Firstly, it has music during the matches. It's not bad at all, but it's
not mind-blowing or anything, and it doesn't need to be. I'm just glad it's there. It at least helps the game
feel a bit less boring. And the screen now scrolls
left and right as you move, and it even has some
line-scrolling floors. There are even super
moves that you can enable, but I'll be damned if I can
figure out how to use them. You now have dedicated buttons
for punching and kicking, but the controls and
gameplay are still a mess. Actually, this one is a lot tougher. I can't get anywhere in the game since it doesn't have any continues. But then I heard that if you
just walk towards an enemy and attack when you're in range, you'll almost always get a hit, and yep. I restarted the game from
the beginning doing this, and I never even lost a single match. Yeah, I took some damage here and there, but I was always able to nab the victory. So much for that great AI
that it was supposed to have. (tense retro music)
(kicks) And when you beat the game, they still figure you'll
never wanna play it again, as it's impossible to get
back to the title screen without resetting the console. Seriously, that's just so odd. Anyway, I was eager to see
if I could do this same thing on the 3DO version, so
I booted it back up, and no, you can't. And can you believe they actually went and made a sequel to this
called Rise 2: Resurrection? Or Resurrection: Rise 2, I dunno. It's a phenomenal game, in comparison. Look, you have a character select screen with tons of fighters to choose from. You have a full six-button control scheme that's actually somewhat responsive. You even have special moves! Granted, it only seems awesome compared to the original game. It's still a crappy fighter, though. It came to the PC,
Saturn, and PlayStation, and I'm playing the Saturn
version here just because. Gameplay-wise, it's really not so hot. The moves are all kind of janky, and the animation seems lacking. The backgrounds are still mostly empty, boring, and uninspired. Plus all of the music
and sound is in mono, at least it is on the Saturn version. But still, the music is somewhat decent. (rock music... in mono) if this is how good the
first game had been, then maybe there would've
been hope for the series. But Rise of the Robots is a
game that won't be forgotten, for all the wrong reasons. (dumb ambient sounds)
(punches) (melts) (punches)
(kicks) (punches) (timer ticks)
(kicks) (kicks) Rise of the Robots sure
feels right at home on the 3DO, doesn't it? Man, some of these games
are starting to cause me physical pain, having to play these. And, since it's a Game Sack episode, I know you're in pain
having to watch this. But we're not done. (great music from Super Monkey Ball 2) (ball rolls) Yeah, I'm talking about
another video pinball game. Sorry. I promise I'll try to
be quick about this one. Anyway, this is Pinball
Graffiti on the Saturn, which was only released
in Japan and Europe. It looks like there's some
sort of weird story mode, and I can't figure it out since
I have the Japanese version, but that's not why we're here today. You can choose from a few different tables and, well, that's cool. Every table is rendered
entirely with polygons, which is actually kind of unique for a video pinball game from this time. And the boards themselves
are decent if unexciting. But again, that's not
why we're here today. Oh no. We're here for the Ball Cam. That's right, you can play the entire game following the pinball around. You can have it face in the direction that the ball's rolling, and that makes knowing
which button to press for the flippers confusing at times. But it gets worse, much worse. That's right, there's
even a first-person view, where you are the ball. Hell, I found it nearly impossible to even get out of the launch chute, much less navigate my
way around the board. Of course, this mode is super
slow compared to real pinball, and you can't really
play a serious game here. You'd think that the overhead
mode would be easier, but not really. Okay, okay, this game
really isn't broken, per se, but I just really wanted to
mention how crazy this mode is. I mean, the Ball Cam is
basically unplayable. Anyway, let's move on to
something that is actually broken. (fair rock music)
(flippers bouncing) (crash) (slow music) This is Ride to Hell: Retribution on the PlayStation 3 from Deep Silver. I don't know what this
1% in the title is about, but I'm just gonna assume
it's how finished they were with making this game. This turd was also
released on the Xbox 360 and the PC in 2013. But it was originally announced in 2008, and subsequently canceled. Or at least that's what everyone thought. They were actually still working on it, and it was re-announced
in 2013 as three games, with this one being the main entry. The others were smaller
downloadable games, but they were never released because this one tanked so badly. Yes, this game was in
development for five years, so just keep that in mind
as you watch this review. In the game, you control Jake Conway, who just came back from Vietnam and is trying to fit into his world, only to find that it's all messed up. Well, ain't that the
truth, this game is a mess. The first thing you'll notice is just how awful and
low-budget everything looks. It's choppy, it uses very few polygons, and the textures are just bad. Most PlayStation 2 games
have better graphics than what's seen here. They can be glitchy and
the textures load in whenever the hell they
damn well feel like it, just to make things worse. Also, the game's story
barely makes any sense. So you and your younger
brother are hanging out when an evil biker gang approaches and starts asking you guys questions about the jacket that your
younger brother is wearing. And it turns out that your dad is someone that this biker gang does not like. And, by extension, they don't like you. So they kill your little
brother right in front of you, as they want all of your
dad's lineage gone forever. Then they start shooting
and the screen fades out. Suddenly, it's a different
day, and you're fine. I guess maybe you took a single bullet, but did they just let you go? I'm not sure, it's not really explained. Anyway, the game is a mission to hunt down the biker gang and make them all pay for your brother's death. (slow music) (funky rock music) The game is divided up into five different styles of gameplay. The first style consists
of the motorcycle stages. All right, finally, Road
Rash gets an upgrade. And yeah, I'm gonna
have to take that back, because this is far, far
worse than Road Rash. Basically, you ride down the road with wonky and floaty physics. The best way to describe it is that it feels like your controller
is three or four times the size that it actually is. Strange, I know, but
that's what it feels like. This is pretty boring, so they added a few
things like little ramps that he can jump off so that
you know you're having fun, or maybe even cement
pipes to ride through. Or trucks to slide under. But be careful, because even if you
successfully powerslide underneath something, the game might decide that you didn't, and reset you, over and over and over. I'm thinking this part here might be missing a line of code, or 26. You can even powerslide off of a jump, this game doesn't care, physics be damned! Sometimes, you'll get into battles which are basically
just Quick Time Events. Just press a button a few
times and you win the fight. Honestly, it's pretty
much impossible to lose, unless you just decide
not to press the button out of sheer apathy. (engine revs) The second type of gameplay
is the sandbox style, where you can roam around. Well, actually, you don't
have as much freedom here as you think you do, as the areas that you
wander aren't very big. You eventually get to your hometown, which acts as a hub world. Here, you can sell drugs
and buy new guns and ammo. You can also unlock better motorcycles and upgrade your current ones. But other than that, there's
not much going on here, as you spend most of your time
riding from place to place. (bluesy rock music) The third style of
gameplay is a beat 'em up, which will make you appreciate even the worst 3D fighting games. You can punch, kick,
swing a weapon, or block. The enemy loves blocking you, and if you press the Square button, you can usually break through it. Sometimes you'll enter a rage mode, where you engage in some
awesome Quick Time Events that are piss-easy. Some fights, like the
so-called boxing matches, will end with a Quick Time Event as well, which you just can't lose. Pretty basic stuff, and
not at all exciting. (punches) The fourth style is the
third-person cover shooter. It works like any other cover shooter, except that the aiming
controls are pretty fidgety, and these stages can be
very long and drawn out. Also, a lot of the enemies
are complete bullet sponges unless you shoot them
directly in the head. Actually, I take that back, as some enemies can literally
take unlimited shots from a shotgun to their heads. The enemies run all over
the place in this mode, and they barely even
react to your presence, nor do they care if there's an obstacle between them and you, they'll just keep
shooting at the obstacle. Like here, where I run past all of these red flammable canisters, which of course explode if they get shot. The enemies keep shooting at me, and of course the barrels blow
up, and then they all die. There aren't too many games out there with AI as brain-dead as this. The last style of gameplay
is the loading screen. You'll be enjoying this far more than anything else in the game. It's here often, and it's here long. You'll enjoy it for 20 seconds
before a 10 second cutscene, then again for another 20 seconds, followed by another cutscene, and then again before the
actual gameplay finally loads. Sometimes they even mix
up the styles of gameplay, like having you shoot your gun while you're on your motorcycle. This can be pretty odd, and
at least the game slows down, but the aiming becomes
even more difficult. But don't worry, you're still gonna win, and at least you don't run
out of ammo in these segments. The game tries to be edgy. It's attempting to be
as violent as it can be. There's lots of blood everywhere, even though it just looks kind of sad. And, of course, Jake has sex with each and every
female character he meets. All while fully clothed. As you do. You even have a radio buddy. - [Radio Buddy] RBDE roamer,
come in. Come in, RBDE roamer. - [Joe] A lot of the music
is actually pretty good, but I feel bad for it for
having to exist in this game. Sadly, it's a chore to play, and not because it's challenging, it's definitely not challenging,
but because it's boring, and the AI issues certainly don't help. (rock music)
(punches) (screams) (punches)
(groans) (kicks)
(groans) (punches)
(groans) (neck cracks)
(groans) (kicks) - [Thug] Now it's my turn! (punches)
(groans) (smashes head)
(groans) - Well, thank god that's over! Well, actually, I have to
admit I did have a little fun seeing how far I could get in Superman and Ride to Hell: Redemption, just to see how much more
messed up they could be. So there was a little bit
of entertainment value in there for me, anyways. My least favorite games
were Slaughter Sport and the 3DO version of Rise of the Robots. There's nothing redeemable about those, it's just not fun to play,
even because they're so bad, it's just, stay far far away. Anyway, what are some games
that you think are broken? Let me know. In the meantime, thank you
for watching Game Sack. (Game Sack Credits Theme) (sweet music) At least I never have to play
this piece of crap again. (sweet music) (cartridge thuds) (sweet music) Holy crap, I can't believe
how many Greendogs I scored! (sweet music) (thuds) (sweet music) (farts) This episode is sponsored by ExpressVPN. Privacy and features are important. Privacy is obvious. I mean, who wants to be tracked everywhere they go on the internet? With ExpressVPN, you
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I have done it, he has played Superman 64!
This was a great one. This channel reminds me so much of G4 and how I use to just lay on the couch and watch video gaming programming on the weekends
Maybe Superman started as a Pilot Wings ripoff and the other stuff was added later.
Angry Video Game Joe
Today I learned that Superman on N64 is more than flying through rings and picking up cars.