GAME SINS | Everything Wrong With Vampyr

[Music] the devs should be selling this game on audible because the hours of talking were about to endure means vampires closer to an audiobook than a game what is darkness but lurking the Sun what is war but enslave stone this opening narration makes me long for the simple days of Dracula asking Richter Belmont about the nature of man what is hate but jilted love what is life but death pending I am going to need some sandpaper for that edge vampire is not a game to be tossed aside lightly it should be thrown with great force if you think it might be a bit much to paraphrase the famous negative review of Ayn Rand's seminal work when discussing a vampire game you would be wrong the endless yammering the characters get up - and the pointed social commentary of the game happily drills into your cranium combined to create the Atlas Shrugged of vampire fiction hopefully this will inspire impressionable young politicians to destroy the fabric of society in a few decades let's just make our corpse pit for a disposing of infected bodies right here in the middle of the industrial district I foresee no issues at all Jonathan's sister came out to the pen where Spanish flu corpses are throned expecting to find her brother alive and well dead family member for motivation cliche this game is so boring that I think I need a family member to die at this games hands in order to continue sinning it no I'm pretty certain there is no way you could see clearly what Jonathan did from that angle and that distance at night it was the dead of night just as Jonathan entered this building in the few seconds this guy held Jonathan up for the Sun came out strong enough to shine through the cracks and burn and Jonathan's arm yeah Jonathan leaves his building a minute later and walks down the street looking for a place to rest and is just fine Jonathan was dead when they threw him into the pit even if he was in the process of becoming a vampire he wouldn't remember those guys stealing his pocket watch if you were not going to create a working mirror in your game that can display reflections don't have a scene where someone looks into a mirror to check their appearance furthermore Jonathan should have a reflection at all since he's a vampire this is the third flashback in the last five minutes everything Jonathan comes in contact with is causing him to remember defining moments from his life now he's flashing back to when he killed his sister only a few minutes ago good times Mary I'm sorry whoever did this to us I will find them but first I'm going to try to kill myself swear I'll get to it right after that no one seems concerned about the guy who just walked into the pub with demonic red eyes and blood all over him in fact no one will ever notice Jonathan's inhuman eyes for the entire game this game has to be the worst instance of branching conversation cutscenes out there just because you have two characters standing still doesn't mean you can just keep the camera focused on the person Jonathan is speaking to you still have two enemy your camera to keep it refreshing NF characters make some facial movements when they say something important everyone in this game seems like they're on Botox and lethal injection level muscle relaxers Jonathan found a drained body on the streets and assumed the killer stuck around for a beer afterward he has no reason to believe it's the same person who turned him since he was in another district when he was attacked I'm looking for someone who might have passed through here recently wondered if you might help it's been quiet tonight a person I've seen went right up to his room it's just some guy renting a room there is no reason to believe he has any connection to vampires so of course the man knows everything about vampires and was even talking to one when Jonathan he's dropped on him for a game titled vampire that even uses the Y in the title is an objective marker all of the characters use the word vampire I heard another voice that of a woman who were you talking to ridiculous I have no idea what you're talking about the vampire you were talking to when Jonathan showed up was the one who informed you that someone was eavesdropping there's really no point in lying about it since you know that he knows that you were talking to someone what happened tonight he was dead drunk as usual my god is is his eyes it's faith he must've caught I mean all for the game seems to forget that the guy is a vampire and therefore doesn't drink anything but blood something the game confirms much later yet the killer stalking the dogs came to this bar for food and drink also this is what the killer looks like a mad goal of a vampire called a scowl that either looks or acts remotely human anymore but was able to visit a pub without causing much of a stir or killing anyone even though he lives in a dock house full of hanging bodies also dr. Swan se was staying in the pub when William Bishop visited it and Swan se is also looking for the killer and would recognize a vampire it was completely clueless about the event that took place in the very bar he was renting a room from in fact William was hiding in a building just across from him William was an honourable you're in a building where corpses are wall decorations I think the guy might have been beyond salvation teleportation is always used to be a dick Lachey by George in the Saints you've solved the mystery of these terrible murders no thanks to you and since you arrived here without Jonathan telling you of Williams location I have to assume you knew where he was hiding the entire time and didn't act why people died how do you know who I am you are dr. Jonathan Reed which brings up why you didn't know who he was when he entered your room and what a turn of fate England's most esteemed blood specialist returns to London a vampire you almost might say it's a bit contrived almost like we're in one of those bad video games that word again from a so called man of science you were using the word vampire a minute ago and even getting tentacle by suggesting William was a subspecies join my staff a dependable hospital as a physician of course you should come work in my hospital you can even kill any of my staff or patients that you like I even had the forethought to bring some clean clothes clothes that are too big to fit me don't match my style and are suited only for a vampire stalking the streets of London forgetting the combat for a minute and trust me you will want to forget it vampire roleplay is the main focus of the game for me that would mean turning into a swarm of bats inviting travelers into my castle and speaking with a thick Transylvanian accent this game pretends that vampires are along like a Facebook algorithm they need to know your entire personal history before it can suck you dry and the choice of whom you kill is supposed to matter except when it doesn't kill some healthy vampire hunter that attacked you that's worth 10 experience and his death will not affect the district kill a loony sick patient in the hospital that believe she was Undead well that's worth over a thousand XP and the district is now worse off forget the roving patrols of vampire the disease scales and bodies lying in the streets what the district was really depending on was a bunch of sick patients at homeless drunks if you were quick you wretched this part of the game before the two-hour mark and can still return it on Steam because you have now experienced everything the game has to offer that being euro Jane combat and long conversations with boring NPCs don't just onesie insisted we provide you a quiet office you'll find it on the second floor with your name on the door kingdom of my own at least I won't be sleeping in a coffin speaking of the Sun avoiding it and timing your activities around a day/night cycle sure would have been a fun part of playing a vampire too bad it doesn't factor in at all since the game only takes place at night our supply of antiseptics is nearly depleted if combined correctly certain household chemical products can be used in a pinch instead or you could just use alcohol while you're describing sounds more like making meth a massive disconnect exists between gameplay in the world once I had a conversation with an NPC only to turn the corner and find a scowl chowing down on a corpse on the side of the street I'm left wondering how everyone is oblivious to the vampire menace when a horde of undead is just down the street from every district where NPCs congregate allow me to make your playthrough easier than mine skip through all the unimportant NPC chatter until you see blue text appear this is the option that unlocks new details about them and other characters which makes their blood more valuable when you help them slip the mortal coil what you should do without reservations don't worry about getting the bad ending I assure you if you spend money on this game you've already earned it I would believe you if he told me this was the first game designed by an AI there is such a straightforward mechanical nature to how the characters emote that it's hard to see any humanity behind it past insufferable weeks I've been the victim of extortion I've made a first payment but the blonde Manor grows greedy how exactly was this blackmail going to work if you went to a paper and told the editors that are rich Noble is actually a vampire I think they would show you the door my embarrassment in this matter is eclipsed only by my shame but having put the hospital at risk if this game could let go of its precious words for a minute I would like to play some of it fascinating something this isn't a social competence as a poor sod survey I'm just going to tell you right now this sick old lady you meet in the hospital is the cause of the sickness and is in fact the final boss let that sink in the guy working with the nurse who is blackmailing lady Ashbury wanders off into the sewers for absolutely no reason of them to be killed by a werewolf I'm a bunch of before you check up in Mic Check what is not crying up to you already saw nurse crane give the guy a voucher and tell him what it was for you could have followed her to Whitechapel and not even bothered with the sewer I must talk to that journalist or the poet they must know about Darius do you because it seems like instead of tracking down a poet and a journalist to get the old man to let you mean nurse crane you could just climb over this fence or a makeshift hospital or turn into smoke and pass right through it would have been nice had they animated the scene so I could see our doctor character doing some actual doctoring this was not an influenza induced seizure I've never seen symptoms like these on the continent you are now aware of the fact that this game has super vampire flu if you did decide to SIA and offspring they must drink of your blood Jonathan contrary to the legends it is not as simple to make another vampire by just biting someone well the next section of the game is going to prove that concept wrong no one owns a funeral in the middle of the night and especially not in a graveyard packed full of Undead am I the only one seeing that Ludo narrative disconnect you can't have normal people not acknowledge the monsters and move around freely if Jonathan has to fight his way down every Street Jonathan's sister is getting a way better burial Jonathan was wheeled onto a pit and dumped without his family being informed Mary who was found at said pit gets brought back for a proper burial I like a narrative as much as the next guy but goddamn would it have killed them to show a bit of brevity every scene with Lady Ashbury stretches into a 15-minute conversation so this volkov species of vampire are primitive prone to violence service thugs for the aristocratic icons and look like white guys in blackface what is it you seek Oh Oh cryptic figures that speaking riddle so we have to guess what you're talking about will you ever change no because people are stupid and they usually stay that way I could tell you what you need to know so you could stop the plague right now but I'm not gonna Shawn hampt the man we thought we'd saved at the docks it seems he was infected after all you kind of have to lay the blame completely on dr. Swan say here he allowed father Hampton into the hospital and didn't first ensure he was in effect with vampirism ever he'd been held captive and fed on by a vampire the other night take his key if the old sewers the entrance display the riverbank south from here there you'll find all the proof you need or you could just tell Jonathan that Harriet Jones is also no a vampire and you brought her here with you and if he needs to see the proof with his own eyes you could move that shelf in your room that leads to the passenger right to the scowl Sewer home instead of making him go the long way around thanks for the memories I guess this will be the final boss of the game just keep that in mind crosses in strong faith in God repel vampires as seen earlier yet father Hampton is able to wear a cross while maintaining his faith even though he's a vampire now this is the very flower my mother tossed on Mary's coffin could you really recognize a specific flower that you only had a fleeting glance off from a distance Mary really you it is and makes no sense because his lady Ashbury explained you can only sire a vampire by having a mortal drink a vampire's blood Jonathan bit Mary and killed her but she never drank from him yet she still became a vampire so much talking this game would have been better off as an enemy visual novel at least those have nudity I speak for everyone who has ever played this game when I say [ __ ] this boss fight [ __ ] this boss fight in particular well that was incredibly pointless her first death already served the purpose of motivating Jonathan is he supposed to be more motivated now that he killed her a second time one last read tear for my fallen sister really vampires cry blood tears maybe we were wrong maybe classic vampires can be just as bad as teen fiction versions you were the one who sired Jonathan so you know all the stuff you were spouting is meaningless to him the land I'd love to get involved with this but I don't know what the story is I've been playing for hours and almost nothing has happened except that I discovered that the Spanish flu is turning people into vampires we have much to discuss she isn't kidding when she says that this conversation will last for 20 real-world minutes this is like watching two coma patients a mote can you make a face get a leg cramp anything to let me know that you aren't dead well dead dead you know what I mean if this camera angle doesn't change soon I'm going to get burn in on my monitor seriously who was the cutscene director on this game there is almost zero technique on display with the shot placements and character actions this is how old daytime soap operas were filmed but he never goes outside the club and women are not awarded membership even immortals those damn cysts white male vampires what the hell am i playing as long as they deny access to female applicants I will leave them to their antediluvian considerations as to the natural order of things I am convinced that Elizabeth's mentioning of anti diluvian is a hint from someone on the dev team that we should be playing bloodlines the masquerade instead ladies if you do this expecting a guy to fill your heartbeat you are fooling yourself would you ask the same question of a man actually yes I asked the same question to everyone who dares to go outside at night considering the risks well if you must know I campaign for the right to vote for all women why should I wait to the age of 30 years when men can vote at 21 if you were going to stick pointed political messaging in your game you still have to do it well more often than not when games try to convey modern political ideas it comes off so on the nose that it turns into self-parody and this game is no different with Elizabeth and her daughter battling the male vampire patriarchy by the way game since we're signaling our virtue right now what was with that blackface vampire earlier the centuries have taught me never to trust a woman completely especially if she is immortal so prone to emotions if you ask me too fickle when it comes to important decisions was it necessary to go down this path in your vampire game I get that this is the same studio that made life is strange but feminism and water and societal ills had a place in that game this is about vampires and Spanish flu they see what this suddenly turned into a very different type of club Lord Redgrave recruited Jonathan into the Escalon Club to hunt down the infection in the West End you can proceed right from your initiation out the front door to find a person who knows about a house just around the corner that is infected all of the members of the Escalon Club couldn't be bothered to walk around their city block and ask people questions after killing her family this scale decided to sit hunched over in a chair for who knows how long until someone arrived at check and see of the body and the chair was alive or not it's fitting this boss fight takes place on a stage with a hokey actress this entire game is feel like a bad high school play full of unwilling participants who are embarrassed to be here to me yes what a waste of opportunity this game is I am truly and deeply sorry for our negative this video has become I normally try to keep send videos to light-hearted ribbing but this game is from the Primus kind of boring after all isn't it the natural role of a woman to support her man in victory who new female vampires would be so concerned with equal rights you thrust your Lance and piers the very hearts of the corruption did you have to make that sound so dirty would you have me do about Dawson the man is dangerous did you know he plans to build a wall to separate the healthy rich from the sickly poor I really want to give this game the benefit of a doubt when it comes to the politician who wants to build a wall after being made into a vampire but I've seen enough to know that this is more pointed political commentary on modern-day issues finally here dr. Reid what took you so long I had to pass several of your barricades and outposts to access your mansion sir I'll say I had to go through a scowl and Festus sewer because the Lord of the night here can't climb a wooden fence in front of your house and you the dying man who is desperate to become a vampire couldn't be bothered to make getting here easy even though you knew he was coming while you were on your deathbed you'll need to feed on warm blood blood from mortals how do you feel about that I'm rich doctor weed and powerful I'm sure I'll be able to acquire all the blood I need without ever having to sully my own hands please explain in detail all the ways you were a terrible human being and would be an even worse immortal we didn't have time to develop your character so this interview will have to suffice I will build a wall that will separate the sick burrows from the healthy ones I would sigh right now but the length required for it would cause me to pass out ultraviolet curtain excuse me Jonathan just exited that same elevator how are you stepping out of it behind him it didn't go back down this is a drop of King Arthur's blood the blood of a true defender of Britain stronger than your evil powers how did you get fresh blood from King Arthur this is something I wouldn't mind a conversation about especially since Jonathan sire is technically Merlin by another name so why would Arthur's blood repel vampires when they apparently worked for him I just love it when characters pull swords out of nowhere when they start fighting makes writing the sins easy since there was a little effort put into the presentation I don't really care for anime but I think am i watch Helsing for a much better version of Irish guy fights a vampire as a physician I know all too well when it's too late punctured lung broken ribs internal bleeding you seem to be speaking pretty well for someone with punctured lungs Horace and Harriet shared more than a hidden family bond they were the embodiment of the epidemic and are linked to the Pembroke Hospital come on Edgar this is no coincidence I swear I'm at a complete loss all I did was administer vampire blood to cure old Harriet why would you think that would work you know that vampire blood will only turn someone into a vampire not cure the flu Harriet Jones was the primary case but do you know what a healthy carrier is there is a tone in your voice that frightens me Jonathan is there because his monotone is nearly as Rocksteady as mine was that really the painting you were working on before Jonathan interrupted just because she's a vampire doesn't mean she has to paint pictures of blood or paint with blood god this is stupid and where would that be life is strange roll credit Oh wrong game now would be a good time to blend the recipe Marshall used when he fought the disaster before he can confront Harriet Jonathan first has to make an elixir from the blood of King Arthur William Marshall and insulin to protect himself from the blood of hatred look I'll be honest I didn't bother reading all the notes as game presents to you so I'm willing to accept that maybe some of this was explained in those but when a game has talked my ear off for 20 hours I don't really feel like deep diving into the games written lore the climax of your game is supposed to be the highlight where you pull out all the stops this game has you revisiting levels from the start of the game before returning to the sewers to confront a dying old woman no more riddles enough of the obscure songs and prophecies for a game that does nothing but talk it sure hasn't told me anything important until now Merlin or whatever his name is could have told Jonathan all about the red goddess Harriet Jones and the blood of hatred a long time ago but took the cryptic route of letting him discovered himself for no reason at all what is the blood of hate it is the curse of the goddess it is the hunger the need for blood don't we someone needs to take this game out behind the woodshed calmly explain how show don't tell works then put both barrels into the back of its head that's right everyone the climax of this game is fighting a cranky old woman possessed by a vampire goddess that was spreading vampire influenza across London let us all salute the elite squadron of brain cells that died upon hearing that sentence the combat is nowhere near good enough to make this exciting but maybe some music could have at least raised my pulse a bit if the game had bothered this fight occurs to the sounds of pain groans only nice joke game huh huh you got me but I already beat the final boss you can play the ending cutscene roll the credits and then maybe a post-credits equal bait scene game why is everyone still talking game it's morning in the sun is shining yeah Jonathan is unaffected how many have you created who else Shakespeare Isaac Newton Alfred the Great Francis Drake Thomas Moore Guy Fawkes but yes one of those you can save some of this info for the sequel it wasn't that interesting to begin with I have never encountered something like this before I beat the final boss the game should be over but instead it makes me explore an empty castle to find Elizabeth then spend over an hour talking to her Merlin and William Marshall about the blood of hatred and what of your daughter Charlotte is a strong independent woman that's the line you say when you were poking fun at feminism not when you were trying to be serious about it since William Marshall is the original carrier of the blood of hatred and he pass it down to his progeny Elizabeth who passed it down to Harriet through dr. Swann say Jonathan should also now be infected with it since he used William Marshalls blood in his flick sir to protect him from the blood of hatred just kept talking in one long incredibly unbroken sentence you

Channel: Dartigan

Views: 388,492

Keywords: vampyr, everything wrong with vampyr, game sins, gaming sins, cinema sins, don't nod, life is strange, vampires, eurojank, bad ending, good ending, secret ending, review, all cutscenes, movie, trailer, walkthrough, dartigan, london

Id: q9docZGJjgM

Length: 22min 1sec (1321 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 22 2018